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So sorry Becky, if your hair is not already grey it will be silver white by the end of the year.
Can you change all the numbers on anything you have like ss, driver license bank accounts credit cards. Notify everyone not to accept anything from nephew in your name unless you are physically present, then file an order of protection.
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Pam, My deceased brother and his two adult children from sometime in 2015 and 2016 stole large sums of money from my mom (brother was POA until I took him to court). His son and daughter and their spouses stole my identity and ran up $180,000 in credit card and other loans and now the automobile. I just finished paying off the $180,000. I guess Monday I'll be paying off a car. It's been taken to the police repeatedly and nothing happened. I know nothing about the wife's uncle. A deputy in the county where I used to live says that the sheriff's depts. do not want to prosecute because they end up with big lawsuits if anything happens in jail. I don't know if that's true. But, it's a huge mess I'm totally tired if having. I dread opening the mail.
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Veronica, I have changed everything. I have my credit frozen. I have a restraining order in place. This is a holdover from when they stole my identity in 2015.
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sharyn - I don't want to give the impression that I am jumping up and down all the time though there are periods when I d,. I add to that a daily "brisk" walk of about 1/2 an hour inside. I wonder if an added 1/2 hr would help your blood sugar.

chris -I hope you don't go

becky - such a horrible family. It boggles my mind that you have to pay when you didn't sign for anything.

veronica -hope you are feeling better,

dori -how r u doing?

Wonderful summer weather here, flood alerts a bit south of here and snow forecast for the southern part of the province. Go figure

Take care all.
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Alwayshope welcome. One of the major challenges of being a caregiver is to figure out what happens with the person we are caring for if we should pass first. Those plans need to be made and nearly always another family member will not step in for us. Just make plans. Get him on waiting lists some are years long. Should you pass first, leave instructions with an elder law attorney that you NEED to see to prepare documents whatever may happen.

You are looking for live in care for him. It is very expensive call around to agencies and start using others for Care now. He may become somewhat accustomed to others if you start now. An I am sure you need the break.
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Beck, what the heck?! Why are you responsible when your identity was stolen? That is a crime and punishable by law. What is it that I do not understand. This is just all too much, unbelievable.
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Glad, It is a felony. In the county where I lived people were sentenced to work release and a percentage of their salary went to restitution. In the county where it was committed and where he lives they have had several lawsuits in the millions of dollars when the men were injured while incarcerated. One has to kill someone to go to jail in that county. It sucks. When my brother was stealing money from my mom, they acquired my social security number and my nephew's wife acquired a driver's license in my name with her picture. It was amazing how they were able to get everything. They were thorough if nothing else. Whole pile of crooks. It happened in 2015 - 2016. Main reason I left Ohio.
You don't want this to happen to you. I have spent all of the money from my part of mom's estate paying off all the stuff they did. You can explain to creditor's until your blue in the face - they don't care what you say or what you prove - they want their money. I could have filed for bankruptcy, but I inherited money and bankruptcy court would have made me pay. So I went ahead and paid and at least avoided a few legal fees and I held onto my house and car. The whole time I kept thinking I'll prove everything and it will all get fixed. Worst year or so ever.
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Becky, talk to your lawyer stepson about this. You are so not responsible for loans taken out through identity theft.
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Golden, it may be enough. I guess the key is raising my heart rate for a period of time to actually be beneficial. Though being active in some manner it better than inactivity.

Becky it’s just horrible they get away with the crimes.
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Barb, I was so tired of the upheaval with my Mom and my brother, I couldn't handle anymore stress. So I paid. I do have an order for restitution for both he and his wife. My stepson is trying to get the wage garnishment for both of them executed. It won't amount to much. They have low paying jobs. 15% is all that can be taken. However, My nephew will inherit a good bit of money when his grandmother dies. I've already the court order on file in the county where he lives. According to the probate court there they have disburse any court payments before they give him any money. So it's a waiting game.
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Good for you Becky. Hope stepson can get this latest lien vacated, or whatever the legal terminology is!
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Beck, why in the world would you even consider paying his debt if it was fraudulent use of your identity?! I do not understand that at all. As soon as you pay one debt you are acknowledging your knowledge and agreement with same. So, putting yourself in the hook for anything else that may come up. Maybe you need another attorney that is licensed to practice in Ohio.
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Glad, I had attorneys in Ohio. After I had 25 or 30 calls a day for months I couldn't take it anymore. The sheriff in the county where it took place was the worst human I've ever met. He accused me of being in on it and a bunch of other stuff. Perhaps if my mom hadn't passed away and I had had to spend my retirement or savings I wouldn't have. But when I received my part of my mother's estate I paid all of it off. I rationalized that it wasn't money I had budgeted for anything, so it was worth it to get rid of the hassle. The collection people were ruthless. They called me day and night at home and at work. I simply wanted to be left alone. My stepson says that I most likely won't have to pay this car loan because it occurred after I had notified credit bureaus of the identity theft and that I would not be responsible for any accounts
opened after that notice.

I hope tomorrow will bring a good response on the car debt.
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Becky you seem to attract trouble. So sorry this latest has hit hard. is there any way you can file legally that you are not responsible for any debts incurred by these low lifs in your name.
Have you considered enrolling in something like Lifelock? In our current morve i had to apply for power and TV. In both cases they did a credit check. Within hours there was a call from Lifelock asking if i knew about these. That way you would have known immediate that there was trouble at the crossroads. Getting that fake drivers license was an offense in itself.
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Chris, NO is a sentence... (someone else said this on this forum - I love it!).
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Becky, You don't have to pay for the car if it's not your signature on the paperwork! This will never stop unless you stop paying.  

PS:  How come the credit card didn't write off that money, since it was identity fraud?  You could call and talk to someone there.
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Beck, no decent attorney would ever advise you to pay a debt that was not yours.
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Also, the law says no collection calls at your work or at night; look it up on the net; at least you wouldn't have that this time....
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I paid off debts on my own. I wanted it over. I am not paying this car thing. The car loan was made after I had notified credit bureaus and locked my account, so I think the bank is at fault for not checking things out thoroughly. I have LifeLock - kind of like closing the barn door after the horse is out. I think for too long I've been too nice, too forgiving and too stupid. I hope I've wished up.

On a brighter note - I did receive child support checks from both my great-niece and her ex-husband for their little girls. I also received a payment on restitution from my niece. At least she seems intent on doing the right thing and getting her life on track.

I think sometimes that I have an aura of either "victim" or "stupid" around me - maybe both.
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Hey all - popping in to say hi. Haven't been on the computer very much. The weather turned HOT almost overnight, and is conspiring with menopause to make me miserable, plus affecting my injury, or at least, my patience for coping with it!

Becky - I just read back in the thread about what happened. How awful!! I'm so sorry that's happening to you. I definitely think whatever bonehead at the bank authorized a loan that huge without doing a credit check should be the one who has to pay it back! Is that the same nephew who phoned your house the other week, by any chance?
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Dori, yep that's him. He's a pain in the ----.
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Oh yeah, I meant to report that things seem to be getting back to normal with mom again. Apart from Wednesday, when she was stubbornly and defiantly refusing a shower, and I had to play good cop/bad cop with the home support worker. (Guess who was bad cop.) Honestly, though, she hadn't showered in 3 weeks. Before that it was over a month. She was really stinky. But she did finally agree, and then bounced right back to normal again afterwards.
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Oh Becky. (((((hugs))))) I wonder if he called the house trying to feel out whether or not you knew about the car loan yet.....?
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Good news! Attorney stepson talked to the bank with car loan, faxed them a copy of my signature and two forms of photo ID. They agreed with him and said I was not responsible for the loan. He also called the county clerk. Both of wage garnishment so have been approved and will come out of their pay checks starting the first pay period in May. My other good news is that nutty lady was moved to a criminal psychiatric unit in another state. And my lawsuit against her and family trust was allowed to move forward (the family's attorney had argued against the trust being sued). It's been a good day - and the snow has melted some!!!!!!!!!!
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Becky that's fantastic news!!! Very glad to hear about all that; take a big breathe now!
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Becky, that's great news!
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alwayshope - sorry to hear about your predicament. I am not sure that a TIA necessarily determines what will take you especially if you are being treated for the cause(s). Your husband is ill for sure, but we know that course of dementia can last a while. What stage is he in? Finding caregivers for home care is not easy and is very expensive. This must be stressful for you. I hope you can consider placement on a facility at some point if it gets too much for you. You need to protect your own health.

becky - not altogether surprised that you are not liable, but glad it has been established. Good news about the nutty lady.

Sunshiny today, if not very warm, but soooo much better than it was!!!!
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Becky! High five!!!!!!!
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Becky, what great news on all fronts!! What relief you must be feeling!

It's 21 C (just about 70 F) here, which is cooler than last week - but supposed to be getting warmer tomorrow. I went and bought myself some new shorts and t-shirts today while mom is at dialysis. One of my friends is going to trim and thin out my hair when mom's at dialysis on Wednesday (it's VERY thick - like, I need BFF's help just to get it all under the dumb swim cap). Dang, this menopause thing is killing me.

On a positive note, I just shaved the winter growth off my legs and, possibly for the first time in my life, didn't incur any blood loss.
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Dorianne; I love you!
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