
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
12 days ago Dorienne put her Mom in respite "for a week", must be on a vacation.
It is a lot more work to come back from respite.
Do not really know, but was just speculating.
Hoping she is ok and returns to us soon.
Thanks for asking. My dad is doing ok and he is now under hospice care at home.
cmag - glad that your dad has hospice to care for him. Keep us updated about how he is.
glad - how is the house doing?
Thunderstorm here last night and more expected today. I have to wake up properly (mornings are slow), finish up around here then hit the road.
Have a good day and be good to you.
Stopped at a little Indian trading post that has been there since the early1900's. Mom always took us there when we were in the area. The woman that owned it originally left it to the man (he worked for her) that ran it when I was a youngster. Then he left it to the people that worked for him when he passed. The place really had not changed a bit, I was happy to see, and really did not expect it at all. Very pleased about that! Quite authentic. The granddaughters loved it as did my daughter.
Lots of wood stacked on the ground at my house. Framing this week I am sure. 😊
Tomorrow I go back to the hospital and surgery on Tuesday. Get it over with and move on. I’m happy my son and grandchildren have been here visiting. A distraction from thinking about surgery. I hope this goes as well as the first one. It was better than I expected.
Hope everyone has had a nice weekend. Summer seems to be here. We’ve had abnormally warm weather for June.
Tell us more about the job Guest. You sound excited, hope it is a great fit.
Guest.. knock them dead!!! You will do great.
Just a thought.
Hey all. :-)
Hope you're feeling better and better, Becky.
How was the first day, Guest? So pleased for you!
Sounds like a fun day, Glad. I love those "little Indian trading post" places but haven't been to one in many years.
When I run across some of my posts, I think someone else wrote them.
Then there are some that are such good answers that I am sure someone else was the author. (Not bragging, wanted to make you laugh).
An adult child is not responsible for hands-on care for their parent.
They are responsible for getting or arranging their care
There is a reason your sibling and mother do not speak, take a lesson there.
Start with getting a caregiver to come in, at her expense.
Now, pack your bags, and leave a.s.a.p., after informing Mother that you could not possibly do that.
Visit and try to build a relationship with your Mom, but do not let her guilt trip, bully or cajole you into giving up your life and moving in with her. Again follow your instincts and that little "voice". It might be different if she did not have her mobility or the funds to get assistance, but based on what you have said she does. She needs to have a paid caregiver come in to assist her.
Sorry, don't mean to sound harsh but it took a while for me to stand up to my Mom as much as I loved her. I was her caregiver/companion after my Dad had his strokes and ended up in a nursing home. It was rough at first...but they did not have the funds for a caregiver to come in. This sounds like a totally different situation. When my brother moved back in I moved out as I had found the love of my life.
FLOORS! Walls by end of week, trusses for roof early next week, then enclosing the home by the end of next week. Gosh it seems to be moving fast now!
After house inside, then waiting on subs to get me on their calendars. So, who knows.
Well, I contacted them today and they want his memorial service to be in the town where he was born. My dad has over 50 nieces and nephews in Ohio, plus friends who still remember him like the man who owns in the funeral home where he was born.
One cousin has said that the funeral home has enough room for all of the relatives and that he would contact the Roman Catholic priest about doing the mass. He even offered to do the eulogy. I think this is much better and is the way to go.
I don't know how my step-sister will respond, but he's my dad. For that matter, she can have a private memorial service for him where he has been living. He's outlived all of his friends there.
On mom's last day, I believe the aunties/uncles just assumed that mom was again at 'death's door' and that's why we didn't call them. Maybe they suspect that we purposely didn't call them, and may have been angry with us for not calling - but they never said it to our face (that I'm aware of). ..
The guilt did get to me. I don't remember if I posted it here. Our local custom is that when a person dies, no matter the time, we must have the rosary (???) said that same day (even if it means 10pm at night.) Every time I saw mom's sibs crying during the rosary, I felt soooooo guilty. After it was done, I went up to aunty who sang what I call the 'death' song to mom. (It was in our native tongue and I don't understand it at all.)
I asked her if she was mad at me because mom died so soon after I took over her care. (Dad became bedridden 9 months earlier). How dad was able to make her live so long. Yet... Aunty had tears in her eyes, grabbed me, hugged me so hard and told me that no one blames me for mom dying. Sooooo … If the aunts/uncles suspect we didn't tell them, I'm positive that they're not mad at me. It would be my older siblings because.. well, they're older than me. sigh... local custom is that it's the elders who contact the family grapevine. Elders who do everything or tell the younger ones what to do. So, I'm safe from being blamed on not telling them because I'm just the middle child. Not sure about my older sibs...