
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
good thoughts for your brother's recovery - he's a brave man
Sharyn, how is bro doing?
My sil is not sleeping or eating. She won’t leave the hospital. It’s understandable she is negative about the progress at this time. I hope she can rest, not collapse at some point.
sharyn - such a roller coaster ride with your bro. It is a very complex procedure - not just the surgery, but the recovery phases. Your sil is going through a very difficult time. Prayers for your bro to get through this phase successful and for rest and peace for family. You must be relieved he is responding.
Becky -so glad you are going to CS. Have a wonderful time!
(((((((Beth))))) what a terrible situation! Let us know how you are.
duck - glad you are moving on getting POA/better support for your mother. She will need more and more as the disease progresses. And so glad you are going to therapy and getting medical help. Good luck with the bugs. I have to tackle new ant hills in the lawn here.
stacey - so good to hear from you!!! I just got rid of my Foreman grill. Haven't used it. I have a few cans of Comet that I don't use any more so they need to go and so on. I was shocked at how much cleaning material I have - don't need that much variety, T am not surprised that you still are dealing with the fall out from looking after fil. These experiences change us forever, Yes, all those things are connected. I have changed my diet to promote better gut health (no meats for now and lots of veggies. fruit, nuts, legumes and some grains/seeds) and that has helped my CFS/FM sx. The BC smoke has been bad here too and worse around E'ton. Take care of you, stace
((((((hugs))))) to everyone.
I have now officially joined the whine about NH's club
Slowly getting my gut sorted out. It is going to take a while, but I believe I am going in the right direction with my veggie/fruit etc diet. I ordered a kindle book on the subject to keep me on track, and I have to reduce stress as much as possible.
Meanwhile my thyroid is a little high, (so reducing stress is harder) which accounts for the energy spurts, but I am not sleeping well which is no good, so I will drink coffee with my thyroid pill which decreases absorption and should get my T4 back to a better level and I should be able to sleep more.
That's the plan anyway! All part of looking after me so I can do the things I have to.
Thinking of all of you, even the ones who don't post much anymore. Let us know how you are if you can.
dori - thinking of you and your mum especially at this time. ((((((hugs))))))
Ever since then, she has been wanting to call sis back, but we haven't yet. I don't think it's a good idea right now with the court mess still ongoing. I'm waiting for further input on the phone call/visit issue from mom's attorney.
On another note, went to see mom earlier and brought her pen needles for her insulin pens and some pajamas that I found of hers, but forgot the bottled water and paper towels she asked me to bring. Not a big deal, she still has some and I will see her again on Monday morning for an eye appt.
Well, she harped on that, and then asked if I had been able to find her another plastic mug since one of hers broke. I said that I hadn't, it just slipped my mind, have been busy with other things. I suggested that since the facility has a bus that goes on Tuesdays to Walmart, maybe she could start doing that. She said no, that she didn't want to do that because she has to wait an hour for the bus when they go, I guess to give everyone time to get what they need. I said, and yes, I was a little irritated, "What's the difference in you waiting an hour and me having to take an hour out of my day to go do it?" She said, "Do you not love me anymore?" Because I asked her to get her own stuff at WALMART!
I listed out the things I do, doctor's appts, store runs, paying bills, managing all her financial stuff (taxes, insurance), pharmacy runs, etc etc and said, "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't do any of this." I know, it just all went in one ear and out the other, but I swear she doesn't appreciate anything. It's always more, more, more. I finally just said I needed to go because I could feel my blood pressure rising and didn't want to yell, so I cut the visit short. Told her I'll be back on Monday.
Ugh, but I feel bad too for being grouchy and irritable. I just have days where I get so fed up with feeling like a servant to someone who is "all about me" and feeling stressed out because of it.
Golden, I think that the non-reading med pros happens often. I would be frustrated too.
Becky, a boat cruise in Colorado?! Where? I know of raft trips, but a cruise?
Jeanne Robertson "Don't go rafting without a Baptist in the boat!"
LOL!
🚢
In my experience, and as testified to many times over in these threads, nothing good comes of doing "everything" for the elder who can still do for themselves. I'm sure your mom's words will be hard to hear, and I'm sorry that she doesn't see the wisdom in doing for herself, but I do hope you can find a way to push her to do more. It's not JUST about you doing less, though that is helpful and will keep you from being overly resentful, it's about her keeping all of her skills tuned.
Her problems are primarily mental and cognitive, but she has exhibited some Parkinson-like symptoms. When she first came to stay with me, she had a flat facial expression and was basically incoherent or "zoned out" sometimes, and had slowness of movement, and muscle spasms and stiffness.
She did have trouble with some basic tasks. We got her in back in March to see the neurologist, who thought that some of the symptoms may have been caused by the Invega (antipsychotic) med that she was on, and advised us to discontinue the antipsychotics for 6 months to see if symptoms abate. He said that is going to be the only way to distinguish whether it is med-induced or actual Parkinsons, which her father had around her age.
Cogentin was added to the mix and anxiety med dosage increased and she is much more lucid, still struggles with paranoia and anxiety and has some memory issues mentally, but physically I've noticed a big difference. She is able now to perform her ADLs and her gait and the muscle stiffness are better, although now I've noticed this weird dancing like movement in her legs when she is standing still, almost like when you have to pee, and she has kind of a gallop to her step that's hard to describe. Never seen that before. That has developed over the past maybe 4 months or so. We go back to the neuro in a month so I'm hoping he can tell what it is.
She does, however, get around pretty well with no problems. She has gone on outings with the facility and I've taken her to the store, out to eat, etc. She could definitely take the bus. I agree, she needs to stay as mobile as she can to stay as strong and independent as she can.
She, however, would have someone wait on her hand and foot if she could. That's where I have had to draw the line, or else I'd be running up and down all the time. Her insurance will pay for PT which I think would be good for her too, but she refuses.
Golden, I sure hope they can get your moms meds balanced for her. It is frustrating talking to a dr who doesn’t know the patients situation. Hopefully next time you talk with him he will be more prepared on your moms situation.
Glad, wow, good thing you know about all these buildings permits, codes and caught this error
drs have figured out that it is my brothers reaction to the meds that causes him to have what they are calling a seizure when they bring him out of sedation. They are working on tweaking the meds so hopefully that will be fixed in the next 24-48 hours.
Went to look at granite and tile oh, I am so confused😕