The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Betterdays – I have 7 siblings. I UNDERSTAND why they will not help with the parents. We had a very very dysfunctional childhood life. Everyone fled home as soon as they could – sisters married the first guy they met (landed from one fire to another). Still, if they don’t want to help Physically, atleast help Financially so that I can hire a caregiver to give us (oldest sis moved in this past January – only because her daughter decided it’s time she live her own life – which does NOT include her mother.) …I keep hoping that Karma will visit my siblings so that they know what father and I went thru.

Gropup – secrets…I’m glad that you have love for your mother. This will help you when the times get tough. I’d be going crazy about the secrets.

It is difficult to realize your Mom was not all she seemed to be, and now as elderly parent, there still are secrets that Mom will not admit to. So how can you even care when there have been lies and no honesty? It is hard,yet I still love her!

I have never in my life experience selfish and uncaring siblings. I hope that one day they wake up and realize the sacrifices Mom made for them. They too are mothers and the day will come when they will be sitting in the same condition as my mom wondering where there children are. I've done everything possible for my mother and continues to do. I'm just so sad that she is going down everyday and I want her to be happy on her way out. God, my husband is driving me crazy with so much noise I can bearly express myself. I wish he would go somewhere right now so a I can have a piece of mind. I feel for my Mom, and it must be lonely in there wherever there is. Pray for me.

2months ago? Thanks. I don't have an IPad. I'm going to see if it's the same as the kindle.

Hi everyone. Not much happening here other than the ringing of my right ear. Later. Only 630am. I want to sleep just another 15min.

Book, I see it on the computer, it showed up about 2 months ago. I never use it so never paid attention to it. It is not visible at all on my Kindle. On my cell, I just see a portion of the white strip but can't access it.

The realtor said we don't have to do anything to the house to sell it because everything is in excellent condition, YAY!! :)

Sharyn, I recently couldn't find the "FOLLOW THIS" button. It USED to be on the top of the Question or Discussion. Remember, it would have FOLLOW this, EMAIL, or PRINT, FB, Tweet, FLIKE, etc.... Now it's all taken out from the Top page. AC moved it to the LEFT SIDE of your screen. If you go to your laptop or personal computer, it will show on your LEFT SIDE - right outside your left Border Line. Inside your Left Borderline is your name/avatar and comment. Outside That Left Border, is "Follow, Print, Email, FB, Tweet," etc...

Okay, you answered my question. Are you able to play around with your Kindle to show the Left side of your border that has that box of Follow, Print, Email, etc....?

Book-I am reading from my kindle.I don't see a follow this button. What page is it on?

I will see what the realtor says. To replace the ceramic tile countertops and ripping out the carpets, refinishing the hardwood floors is going to cost more than $10,000

Sharyn, I watched enough "Sell this House" reality show. I learned from their secret footage that most people already figured they're spending a lot of money on the house. Why on earth will they spend more to renovate it? They don't have the time or the money. So, if you want to sell your mom's house, why don't you all start watching that show. Get some tips. Most of the time, it's important to have furniture in the house - an empty house makes it look unappealing. Overcrowded with personal stuff makes the house look smaller. Even if the new owner is going to replace the curtains, sofas, etc...if your current ones look awful, that impression is what the buyers will remember. They don't think that they will be changing it anyway. Check if you can watch it online for free. Get some tips from it.

Well, AC did put back one tight HUG of COMFORT. It's the 2 cats lying face-to-face. I'm glad. I asked if they could put one back because when one is suffering from deep depression, those HUGS let them know how deeply we feel for them.

Does anyone use a Kindle for reading AC? AC has moved the "FOLLOW THIS" button to the left side-bar. They no longer put it on the top. My Kindle HD Fire cannot move to the side so that i can hit the "FOLLOW" button on the left. Has any of you done this using your Kindle? I've shrank the page as smalll as possible and still cannot access it. I widened the borders and still can't access it. Now when I read in the middle of the night, I won't be able to hit "FOLLOW" for a more detailed reading when I go on my laptop. Help?? =)

I am feeling better about the situation regarding sis not using mom's money for her own a/c and heater.We are heating up here, expected to reach 112 by monday.Tomorrow a realtor is coming to mom's house to give us an estimate of the value...what we may need to do to increase the value...hopefully not much, the house is in excellent condition, roof is about 10 years old. I don't want to spend lots of money to make it ready to move in. If potential buyers want granite counters, refinished hardwood floors and different colors of paint, then I think they should spend the money to customize the house how they want it.

I wish you all a happy 4th of July!!
Sharyn

But they took away the HUGS of Comfort.

AC has new HUGS.

Sharyn - sometimes when Medicaid does the 5-yr look back - does not mean they Always require the person to pay it back. I've read from several posters who said that there is an equation done. And based on this equation, they had to pay for their parent's Private pay at NH until Medicaid kicks in - several months down the line. So, depending how Medicaid chooses to deal with it. One- your sis will be responsible to pay it back. Or Two - you All suffer by having to fork out your own money to pay for your mom's cost until Medicaid kicks in. I don't have time to search it on AC to find this info for you. But, I've read it over and over on different threads. Do not assume that it will only be your sister to suffer the consequences. Let's hope she stops trying to think of using your mom's money as a "loan." {{HUGS}} Book

Sharynmarie,

Definitely, I had written another post (unposted), this one was more in the vein, of you and your brother not allowing your sister to acquire this money. Besides legally, it appears that your mom's attorney has your mom's ultimate decision in his power. I'm so happy for you, that she asked the attorney, this way it doesn't end up being your sister vs. you, way more diplomatic in the bigger picture.

Yes, one can never know how long anyone is going to live.
I had an ex-friend, who naively thought she'd take out a mortgage, against one property to finance a 2'd mortgage on a fixer upper to move her ill mother to our state from NY. The woman was at the time 87yrs. old. She had cancer, and my friend thought she was going to move the mom to take care of her til her death.
Well, she went through all the escrow, lawyers, etc. She and her beau moved into the 2nd property and spent too much $$ remodeling. Then when they actually went to pick up mom in NY, guess what? The mother refused to move. Then about 8 mos. later, the mother died. The economy tanked shortly after, and eventually my friend lost this, and had to short sale the the first property. So, I learned, from watching and hearing about all of this, that many things in life are really completely out of our control, no matter how much we as humans seem to think that we have some upper hand knowledge about events. Many outside factors can happen to change everything.

In the event that your mom does live longer, she will need the money for her care,
that isn't rocket science.

Glad to know that the lawyer, isn't a push over too, in this case.

Hugs back, and Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Oops!! I didn't tell you...Hugs to both Margeaux and Book!!

Margeaux~You are right,however, sis decided to be totally honest and she called my mom's attorney about it. He told her "absolutely NO!" He told her, "Your job is to manage your mother's money so that it lasts as long as possible." This takes me and my brother off the hook. I have been trying to get sis to buy a portable room a/c that I saw on QVC for $485.00, she could have got it on their easy pay plan where they would deduct it from her checking account for 6 months. Unfortunately, she is very hard headed like my mom, it has to be perfect. Plus I was thinking that in my sister's situation, she may very well be forced to retire by the time she is 65 because her company may not want her to stay because of her health issues, she will have to go on medicare for insurance. As I said, I really believe my mom will still be living in 5 years because of the Namenda...it has kept my mom stable without any real decline since moving her and you understand what I mean due to the trauma and stress of the move...a person with dementia would tend to decline. My point being...my mom is most likely going to need that money invested with Charles Schwab to continue paying for her care...that is what is there for...no guarantee of an inheritance as nice as that would be. Sis really should have sold her house back in the late 90's when I was trying to talk her into buying a 2 bdrm condo here in town, she could have paid cash for it and would have had money left over to invest. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Book~I have been thinking about the 5 year look back and if my mom should ever have to get medicaid and there are discrepancies due to sis's mishandling of mom's money, she would have to pay it back for sure I think she will continue to be honest because she does have that code within her.

Sharynmarie,

I completely can identify with your feelings of anger regarding your sister's,
"dipping into your mom's accounts." My understanding of inheritance, of anything is that it happens after the trustor's death.

On the one hand, I realize also that your humanity kicks in, you don't want your sister's health aggravated because her a/c, and heat do not work. I remember some time ago too, you did write about how she managed to get things from your mom in the past, so I'm sure this factor is in the background.

My brother "golden boy," has done this all of his life. On top of all of it, he's always has been bad with money. I thought it was pretty dangerous, while he was the POA. My sister, other brother and myself always knew there was tons of mismanagement, then he was on most of mom's and her sister's bank accounts.
Our aunt, then changed the POA to my sister and youngest brother.

Golden boy went through lots of money;we just don't know where it went.
Then, he didn't do upkeep, on some rentals owned by both mom and aunt.
These were in serious dis-repair. So in essence, there's plenty of evidence my brother really has probably received his "inheritance," way before it's time.
This is why we became estranged from him for several years, mostly coming from him because the POA, was yanked.. Well boo hoo!

So later, it wasn't until he literally came crying to my sister w/his health problems last year, then his marriage falling apart right after that. Well of course, our human side kicks in, and even I've felt badly for him. My sister though, feels more sorry for him than I. But my brother's attitude just doesn't at all exhibit any humility, no sense of he acknowledging that he has been always in entitlement mode. So if ever my sister starts to overly boo hoo either his personal or financial woes, I do remind her of his past grievances.

Well, as to the nuts and bolts of all of this, all I can say or ask, is what role does the attorney play in all of this. I remember you and your sister had a rather hard time w/him, regarding having your mom placed in the ALF.

I don't think it is fair when ever either the preferred child in a family, uses their bad choices to continue to acquire favors and money. The rest of us feel it.
All I can say, is that if you and your brother do decide to go ahead and allow your sister to have access to this money, might I suggest that you get this in writing,
word for word, the part about how she'll deduct from inheritance. Please don't go thinking that because she is a sibling that there is no need to do this. As awful as this kind of legality sounds, and we know because it's a trust issue.....protect yourselves. Besides, if you are saying she is having problems with her memory right now, best to have it in plain view for the future.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Assuming you are getting an inheritance, is one reason to make conservative purchases, if you sell the house, it becomes a liquid asset and comes under scrutiny, if you misspent money, you may have to pay it back...according to the government and you will not get public aid for costs endured, the house will be considered a liquid asset.

As long as she owns her house, she will have senior exemption from taxes. as long as her residence is seen as a place she will move back into (really or not) one day, her house can gain equity back and not be lost in this down turned economy.
If she is having trouble managing her finances, she needs to talk with an adviser.
Of course, she could qualify for living in a younger facilty, because diabetes is considered a disability.

No, I think it's wrong of your sis to ASSUME that you all will get an inheritance. I think you all need to put your foot down on this. Because you are right, once you start dipping,it will not stop. Something just as "important" will come up. And truly, when she touches that $5000.00 - it WILL be noted by Medicaid. They WILL check the cash flow. I've read that over and over on this site.

She reminds me of several people whom I know who keeps remortgaging their home. Their house could have been paid off now but....NOT. I just don't understad their reasoning. Yes, sis made a lot of "right" choices at the time but for the Long Term time - she made a lot of unwise choices. Now she's feeling the consequences. Too bad.

A relative of mine's husband retired from the local govt. They both decided that he would cash in his retirement instead of getting it monthly for years. I told them to not cash it in but....they cashed it in and went thru that money like it was water. Now his job at the federal govt has some mandatory budget cuts. His paycheck is now affected by it. If they had not cashed in his retirement from the local govt, they would have had that extra monthly income to cover the budget cut until the Feds go back to full time work. But, I keep my mouth shut because what's done is done. You can't go back. You just have to live with the choices you made.

Book~When my mom was diagnosed as mentally incapacitated and we went to her elder law attorney, he told us we could do whatever we want with her home. The money from the sale of her house goes into mom's accounts with Charles Schwab, we cannot divide any money up until after she passes away. My mother will not be able to be approved for Medicaid until the LTC Policy runs out (in 4 years) and the money with Charles Schwab which will pay after the LTC Policy. This is wear I don't think my sister is seeing reality because she is basing my mother's longevity on the fact that most people when placed in a NH live about 2-2 1/2 years at most. However, mom is not in a NH, plus she taking Namenda. My father lived about 2 1/2 years after being placed in a nursing home, he was not taking Namenda (Namenda was not available then), he was not taking Aricept either because mom said "he was having side effects" which she claims with all prescription medicine. We are not splitting up any money. Sis wants to use my mom's money to replace her own a/c and heater at the same time we replace the a//c and heater in mom's house. It will cost about $5,000 per house. She will deduct this amount from her inheritance when mom passes. I understand my sister's need because of the heat we have during the summer months here, and her health issues. My concern is....is there going to be something else in the future she will need to dip into mom's money for because she can't afford to pay for it and it affects her due to her health?? She should have sold her house about 15 years ago but she wouldn't because....a mobile home was not good enough for her, a condo with no yard work was not good enough for her...so here she is 45 min. away from my city, living in a 2,000 sq.ft. home with a huge backyard and she can't take care of it. She has refinanced twice to pay for new roof and other expenses. She is 60 years old now, she can't afford to retire even when she turns 65, she is stage 4 diabetic. When she divorced her second husband, she should have sold that house and moved back here to the house she owned here in town. Instead she sold the house here in town because she didn't want to go on welfare a second time...while she supported her daughters from her first marriage and she went to school. She got the job she now has plus she was getting a second income by being the bookkeeper for our Congressman's campaign office (a friend of her's was the campaign manager). The Congressman retired from politics in the early 90's so she lost that income. She would have been fine if she didn't start refinancing the house to pay for a new roof and other expenses. The house is still not paid for yet. This house of bought in 1977. Then her health went down hill due to her alcoholism, the recession hit in 2008 and she lost a 1/3 of her pension in the stock market. Bad choices from the beginning because she had to have more than what she afford or manage to take of.

Sharyn, have you all checked with the Elder lawyer about selling mom's house? I think you all need to see one before doing anything with the proceeds. I've jumped around enough on this site to know that if:
1. Mom's NH is currently being paid privately, when the funds run out or the insurance coverage runs out, the next option is....

2. Medicaid. (That is if none of you siblings want to invite mom to live with you at your home and provide 24-hr home care for her).

Medicaid has a minimum of 5-year look back. They WILL consider the sale of any of your mom's property. In that 5yr look back, they will follow all of the money trail - and want receipts on where the money went. Any $$ paid for caregiving best be done legally - paying taxes. Otherwise,they will view it as Gifting. And any $$ given as gifts will be a strike against your mom. She would be penalized. Based on how big the $$ gifting or no back-up document - you all need to put mom in NH as Private Pay for so many months before Medicaid will pay for it.

If Medicaid is paying for your mom's care, then they may have a lien to the house/property , etc....

Please check into this before you all start splitting the money. Remember - Medicaid does a minimum of 5 year look back.

Margeaux~LOL!! Strong ladies sweat...I like that!! Personally, I think it is healthy to work up a good sweat as long as you keep yourself hydrated. It is good for releasing toxins plus it helps to release stress. I hope you are getting everything super cleaned.

The only thing I collect is teacups/saucers (but space is limited so I don't have too many) and vintage cameras. Now I really could get into the whole collecting thing, I absolutely love the show on the history channel...American Pickers...that would be so much fun!!! But where would I put all the stuff, how would I get rid of it to make a profit on it??

I went back to work today and it was a good day. I worked at another store which is busy, but they do things different with staffing than my store so you don't have all the stress and chaos when closing the deli. I discovered today while at work, that the pinched nerve in my right arm is causing me to have muscle weakness. I am not having pain but still have tingling...still using heat and applying an anti inflammatory gel to my neck and shoulder.

I had mom's phone returned to her room and she is calling but so far not 16 calls a day. I can deal with that. I visited her briefly yesterday because I had Midget with me and they were getting ready for lunch (Midget is not allowed in the dining area when they eat), I had no place to put Midget so I could stay. A man was visiting his mother...mom and I were standing behind him in the hallway that runs along the dining area...he leaned back in his chair and said something to me...so I approached closer saying I am sorry I couldn't hear you...he said, "the dog is not allowed in the dining area while people are eating!" I said, "I know, that is why I am leaving." He said, "Oh, I didn't hear that part." The aide looked at me and rolled her eyes!! I thought...well if you are going to eavesdrop on other peoples conversations, at least get it right...it rather irritated me!!

My sister saw the psychiatrist last Monday. He agreed that Zoloft is not the drug for her so he has reduced the dosage back to 50mg. and will wean her off it over the next two weeks then start her on something else. Margeaux, I want to hear what you think about this situation with my sis getting the a/c and heating unit on mom's nickel. I believe I told you all I had concerns about my sis dipping into my mom's money for her benefit and while she is being honest...there is still a little manipulation because of her health issue. While I feel bad for her financial situation...her choices in life have created some of this problem because of her insistence on using products like Merle Norman Cosmetics (because she has sensitive skin), shopping at Macy's (which I don't even do) while I don't want to get on a tangent talking about her, I do get tired of the fact that she always manages to get what she wants from my parents. My kids and my brother's have gotten less over the years because of her needs and I always overlooked it in the past...but now I am starting to have anger issues about it...because it still continues.

Next up is going through the tool shed which will be another sweaty job since the shed is metal and in the sun all day. Yay...fun!!
Hugs to you!!

Sharynmarie,

Wow, I guess we were heave hoeing, and sweating as you said possibly at the same time. On Friday, I went with my neighbor to one of these stores that have hardware, plants, etc. We desperately needed to change our stove top filter underneath the fan in the kitchen. This I think hadn't been done in a very long time. You know how it is when something like this doesn't work well anymore.
It could add to the pollution in the apartment, and I don't need this, especially with my sinuses.

So I get the filter, come home, and realize I'd better do some heavy duty cleaning of the stovetop hood, walls and surrounding area. Boy, did I ever get myself into a real cleaning mess. I pulled out the baking soda, vinegar, and lemons.

My husband, from all of his travels has a collection of little bottles they used to give on flights, and has them of all places on top of that stove hood.
YIKES! I worked and worked all day into the evening, scrubbing away.
My hair was completely wet from working so hard, but once I started I just wanted to get it done. Anyway, finally did on Saturday.

I have tried to subtly suggest to my husband, that the stovetop area is no place for any kind of decor. But oh well! He even told me, that I didn't have to do this. He'd hire someone to come in and do it, etc. I replied to him, that no cleaning person would do this type of cleaning. They do the bare minimum.
They might take all the bottles down and clean the walls, but I doubt they'd do what I did. It's done now, so that was a Feng Shui exercise for the Solstice this weekend. I'm trying to work up to cleaning out our closets, and the bedroom. I know I'm going to get some resistance from him, because he likes to hang on to old things.
I call our place a museum. Don't get me wrong, I do like some of the collectibles,
but when it comes to cleaning, it's just too much.
Your description of getting such a work out, all I can say is, yes we are ladies, and strong ladies sweat! HAAH! Oh, and by the way, when it comes to housework, I get NO help from the hubby. But I don't care, I like a clean place!! It sounds like you had to bear the brundt of the major part of this task. Oh, I understand this all too well. I am glad that your brother was able to help with the lamps.

O.K., I'll write more on my thoughts about your sister and mother on another post, don't want this one too long.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Margeaux~ Unfortunately I did not get out to take pics...one day I planned to go but it was so windy I decided not to go, then Thursday I was going to go to Yosemite but found out there was a fire in the Mariposa area, even though it was 80% contained, they were evacuating people and I didn't want to deal with traffic issues. I will get there eventually. I want to get pics of tunnel view at sunrise...different seasons. I have a digital camera, I know nothing about film (which IMO is the true art of photography). I am still learning settings, apertures, etc. , and I only have 2 lenses but someday in the future would love to invest in a wide angle lense for landscapes.

I am feeling better about the situation with my mom, for a couple days it was hard but I had to let go and separate myself from her. For a while it will be treated as business until she settles down. The community called me yesterday saying I needed to bring some supplies for my mom including hygiene wipes and gloves. They asked if mom had an afghan we could bring because she is taking another residents afghan saying it belongs to her, LOL!! I spoke to mom briefly yesterday...she is still angry, wants to go home, wants her phone back. I told her I would have them return the phone (which I will do tomorrow when I visit her). I told mom we will not tolerate her calling 15 times a day yelling at us.She hung up on me which is her usual way. Tomorrow I will visit with Midget but we won't be able to have lunch because I can't take the dog in the dining hall.

Sis and I worked at mom's again today, my brother came by and set the lamps up around the house on timers so we won't have to leave lights on in different rooms 24/7. He had oral surgery on Thursday because he cracked two molars (possibly from bone loss due to taking prednisone). They had to remove the teeth because they broke into in the root. I cleared everything out of the storage room that was in cabinets, sis couldn't help me because her blood pressure was giving her problems today and it is much hotter today with no a/c in the storage room. I got it done in about 3 hours, was drenched in sweat...not very lady like but oh well, gotta do what I gotta do, LOL!!

I start back to work Monday, but I will be working at another store Monday-Tuesday, we don't have enough hours at my store.

Margeaux, I understand what you are saying about your sister having to do what she must with your mom and the sleeping arrangement. Like you, I don't know if I would do it because I have to work, if your sister has caregivers there 24/7, maybe they could sleep in the same room so your sister could sleep separate to get her rest. If it works the way it is for your sister then so be it.

I am going to share something with you all....we are going to have to replace the a/c heating in mom's house before we put it up for sale..the a/c especially is not cooling the house adequately, both units are at least 20 years old. We live in the San Joaquin Valley which is very hot in the summertime, 95-98 degrees with heat waves averaging 105-107 degrees. Then about every 5 years or so we get major heat waves with 7 days of 110-115 degrees. My sister has health issues as you know, she has proposed to me and my brother...she be able to replace her a/c (which hasn't worked for 4 years) and heater at the same time we replace mom's getting a good deal by doing 2 homes using mom's money (she can't afford to pay for it herself) and she will deduct the cost of the a/c heater from her inheritance in the end.My brother and I agreed that she can do this. There is a part of me that feels this is not right and I hope there is not more of this in the future with her (she should have sold that house a long time ago and gotten something much smaller that she can manage. She can rob Peter to pay Paul and end up with no inheritance which there is not guarantee any of us will get one in the end. I hate being put in this position but at the same time I know the heat is a big factor with my sister's health.
Hugs and wishes for happy days ahead
Sharyn

It would be my PERSONAL PLEASURE TO BE MY FATHERS CAREGIVER!!

New2Dementia,

This is good, that the doctor is in your camp, telling your mom she can't drive.
Well and that the license expired, makes it more pragmatic. When mother was at this point, oh boy, were there ever some episodes before my sister finally had to tell her she just wasn't allowed to drive at all anymore.

Before we her children actually knew she'd been diagnosed with ALZ, mom and her sister had been living together for some time now. Her sister now became increasingly immobile on account of her poor health. The sister was really the driver throughout all their lives, mom always the passenger. Well now, mom was caregiving for her sister, and driving very locally, to run errands, and doctor's appointments, (close by). On a visit there, one day auntie was home alone.
I asked where mom was, and auntie said, she'd gone to the store for milk.
Well, first 15 mins. passed. When about half an hour went by, I asked where this store was. Anyway a complete 45 mins., now passed, and now I was really getting concerned. Of course this narcissistic aunt, did everything to down play the whole thing, reassuring she'd be home any minute! Finally she did return.
Meanwhile, we didn't actually know, mom had already been diagnosed w/ALZ, and was on an anti-depressant. We know the two sisters were probably hiding this fact, because it had everything to do with their independence. I totally understood my mom's point of view of hiding info., she really behaved this way all of her life. She's always has had DENIAL, in the background of everything!
But I could not understand her own sister's failure to inform us.
I guess it didn't even occur to her that someone with ALZ, may not be able to find their way back home. Even worse, the fact they are on some strong medications, and the possibility of an accident. I sometimes think, people forget this fact, because it;'s been prescribed by the medical community.

Mother gives the caregivers a hard time about showering. I think it's a mobility issue. But I have heard my sister, say to mom that "Today is a bath day."
Mom rolls her eyes, and protests.

O.K., hope you are well, and hang in there.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Sharynmarie,

Please don't feel guilty about the phone issue. You are a quite busy woman with your own life, then taking care of your mom's needs. It's not the very same thing,
but this situation where my sister sleeps in the same bed with mom, (which I think is too much), then mother gets up throughout the entire night. My sister is out the door about 6:15, a.m. to go to work all day. But I don't know what I'd do, say if I were in her shoes. Anyway, sometimes one must do what they have to do in order to maintain some kind of balance and not get the nerves all tangled up.

I hope you get to take your pictures. I haven't taken any lately. I have a digital camera, which works fine. But one day, I hope I can buy a non-digital one, so I can play more with subject matter I want to photograph. I like that better. So I wonder if that makes me kind of a manipulator! HAAH!

Take care, Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Oh Austin,

How lovely! What a romantic and great life you are living!
I can see little love doves all around you and your man!

This is great too, that you are cherishing these moments!

Much Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Emjo,

How are you doing? I hope your health flare-ups have calmed down.

Maybe you are on that vacation with your husband enjoying that hot tub.
How are things going with your mother? I sure hope for your peace of mind,
she's ceased a bit with the emails. That was quite funny when you wrote about you thought your mom probably had had a herd.

All right, just wanted to check in with you.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Austin~I am so happy for you!!! You more than deserve to be happy. I enjoy hearing from you and appreciate your advice and comments. Please keep in touch with all of us!!

Hi guys I have not been on much but try to keep up value all your friendship-have been around for over 5 yrs-the husband died June 26 09 almost 4 yrs. I am in a good relation with a great man-I had the worse not hve the best-he is a widower and we went to High School together -graduated in 59-I know the dark ages but saw him and the wife at reunions 45 and 50-I did not date in HS just was hell bent in getting away from that 1 horse town-came back two yrs later and it looked better to me-met the husband a few months later and got married-thought I was a grown up and did stick with him til his death-it was real bad but you made you bed and your slept in it and abuse was tolerated by the public during those years now women can get help to leave but not those years-so I really appreciate what we have now later in life-God answered my prayers in his time not mine and now my life is so good but I do not take it for granted at all.