The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Girl, I have been off line for a while and need to catch up but I am glad to hear things went okay. I have to start those preop test also.

Golden, its just great to hear about your baby kittens and their conquests and growth. You are a great storyteller. So glad to hear you in good place also.

Margeaux, your sister sounds like my twisted in so many ways. I wish you the best in all to the end.

Church, always good advice and good guidance. I mean Countrymouse :)_

Ann, lol the 431 characters was so cute. I have felt that way when I am posting and sharing my heart, not enough words, space or time. I am long winded also and there are folk on board who have patience and love to hear us out and even understand what the cry is about. I find it carthartic to let it all out. Some times I feel silly afterwards or sometimes I am leary on how things are taken but when its all said and done thats what we are here for help.

Welcome aboard, keep posting eventutally you will get the help you seek. There is a lot of beautful loving people on board. As with everything in growth sometimes its a process and not so easy.

Bseed welcome aboard. I am not caught up and I have learned not to put my foot in my mouth by posting stuff from this great memory after I have read a few post.

I am in a good place. I think giving things over to God was the big step. One day I kinda broke down, feeling overwhelmed and plead that he take on my enemies and bound them because it was getting to be to much with so much history.

Now its quiet, and guess what I wonder whats coming up!!! Its like kids playing when they get quiet you know something is up. So its been good. I am still stressed going on camping trip Friday with my client so stressing with the prep, hers and mine. Told DN he didnt respond, found door unlocked on sunday on my way to work, told him that also. Naturally its my fault if something happens because they are unable to see wrong in themselves or their actions.

While at camp I will work on getting pre op testing set up.

Pain in leg is getting so much better slowly but surely, Is it possible that pain just rotates, takes turns on the body areas. Also my client just finished with a mild cold so of course I have gotten that dang congestion. I am also relieved because anytime I got congestion before I went in deep sadness sometimes crying scared it would take me out. I thank God for getting better in so many ways.

Aging is not an easy task. Some days I walk with a rock or limp and other days I have a sprite step then other times the leg just gives out or a sharp pain makes me almost drop. I get accustomed to haveing pain somewhere then it stops and when I realize its gone something is brewing in the arm or another place. Dang!!
Dang DAng. So I tread lightly sometimes if I forget I get an unkind reminder.

My mother is embracing her situation and I am getting adjusted also so its getting alot smoother. I had hard time getting her from the fridge door just standing with it open for a good while. I come down sometimes and the door is left open and the cheese on door is soft and warm.

I dont know what the road is going to bring but I hope APS gets guardianship and then we get a good loving, God sent home health aide. Twisted changed her shirt thursday, she was home that morning so I guess it was for an appointment. I feel a certain way, it takes a lot out of me just getting her fed and to eat. I try with the bathing butshe wont . I do get to brush her hair but she wont let me wash it, so with a home attendant hopefully things will make a big turn for the best.

I know I bend the ear when I post.

Sleep Tight, Ray of love healing and happiness to all.

I've been really down for the past couple months, sorry this will be long..disappointed in my mom and her behaviour towards me and my dad. She demands independence but wants to be waited on hand and foot. Ie: cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, medication management. Her day is like this..she gets up on her own anytime from 06am to 1pm.. It depends on when she went to bed the night before or if she had difficulty sleeping (leg cramps, acid reflux, other ailments). She might shower and dress, my dad lays out a towel, bra and underwear for her. If she does get dressed he tries to be there to help her put on her bra. If she doesn't shower she sits in a chair in her room and watches tv. Takes her blood sugar. My dad cooks her breakfast every morning and brings her medications and the paper. She will read the paper, do soduko puzzle, watch tv and nap until I call her to come to lunch. She may or may not put in her hearing aids, so at the table she rarely says anything. She's always the last one finished and will sit and watch while dad and I clean up. If I don't put out her insulin, she won't bother to get it herself. When I'm close to finishing in the kitchen she gets up and leaves, sometimes she says "thank you" I've suggested that it would seem more like a family event to do the kitchen chores together, my dad pitches in but she refuses.. (although she was fine drying dishes and cleaning out the fridge with my sister last month) she will sit in the living room or work on a puzzle till she decides to go back to her room for a nap. Her room is up a flight of stairs, so understandably it is not fun for her to have to go up and down all the time..but she has no qualms about letting us do it. She would actually prefer that I bring all of her meals up to her, but after physical therapy visited, they encouraged her to get out of her room. I refused to do it and told her so. She was very mad at me. At supper, I go upstairs and let her know it's ready. She may be hungry or may say she doesn't want anything. If she comes down for a meal it's a repeat of lunch. If she doesn't eat, she will come down later on her own and get snacks or something quick from the fridge. She only drinks coke, so we have a constant supply in the fridge for her. At 9pm I take her evening medication to her..and turn her bed back. She may take it while I'm there, one is an insulin pen, and I return it to the fridge. Sometimes when she is irritable she tells me to just leave it..and then I'm not sure when she takes it, sometimes she forgets. If she wants a snack, I used to get that for her, but I've become hardened in being willing to walk up and down the stairs on her whim. She would quiz me on what snacks were available..would I get her another coke? She is incontinent and changes several times a day.. She is disappointed that she has a problem but not enough to change and wear protection. The wing back chair she sits in has been pee'd on many times. . It's not safe to leave her at home by herself.. But she insists that this is where she wants to die..even when it makes it difficult for others. I mentioned that dad does a lot of things for her and she got very sarcastic and angry, this is some type of vengeance for her... They have never had a very good marriage, I wonder that they would have been happier apart. I read a quote and it went like this "for those people that bring you down, resolve to be stronger" so..thank you for letting me rant. And geez, I could have had 431 more characters.

Bseed- Did you say your grandfather is in assisted living? If so then you should check with them about things like haircuts. They usually have visiting services for that. As for appointments, my parents assisted living facility can call a medi van service (there is a fee) to bring them there and back in the event that family is not available. Like countrymouse said, grandfathers money can and should be used to help with his care. Best of luck.

Here's AgingCare's own article on the subject of caregiver agreements, useful guidelines in it but also check your state's regulations:

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/personal-care-agreements-compensate-family-caregivers-181562.htm

Thank you Countrymouse. I appreciate your response.
Yes-I apologize, I meant to infer that Wife's POA was also executor for her-and we have no issues there.

Gpa's kids are wanting to have a "say" but it has been much crazy making. They get Gpa all riled up and anxious that he is missing things. Things that he truly doesn't have to worry about. If we try to keep them away, it will be WWIII. So we were hoping after they got over the initial GLEE in the death of their father's wife (who was a wonderful caregiver to him and loved him-but they can't see past their anger) that they would get to the business of just caring for their father. I guess that is not to be expected. My DH is fielding SCREAMING phone calls from his aunt and uncle over this. One uncle gets it and is understanding-and my DH's mother and her other sibs are narcissists. classic textbook.

We have not had the discussion with Gpa about a caregiver agreement with us. I suppose that is the next step. His 20.00 haircut will turn into a 130.00 haircut if we have to drive there to get it done-or hire someone. :(

Can you tell me anything about caregiver agreements?

If you incur expenses solely and exclusively for your Grandfather's benefit, you can claim them back.

Keep all receipts, keep excellent records; but you are not expected to be left out of pocket.

If you expect to spend time on caregiving that would otherwise be spent on gainful employment, then yes you want a caregiving agreement - it's not a bad idea anyway, but it's especially important if your finances need you to be compensated for your time.

What discussions have you had with your grandfather about his care plan?

Second quick point -

You cannot require your parent/aunt/uncle to provide care for their father.
You do not have to provide this care by yourself.
It is your responsibility to source any services needed, and to use Grandfather's money to pay for them.

If this generation is so chaotic and belligerent that that's their attitude, you don't really want them having unsupervised access to their elderly father anyway, do you?

BSeed, quick point of order:

Wife's POA no longer has POA, because Grandpa no longer has Wife. POAs expire along with the person for whom they are held. Did Wife leave a will? - if she did, her executor is the person who now needs access to the papers. If not, then access must be at Grandpa's and his POA's discretion.

NEW here. Hi. My husband and I are DPOA to his grandfather so there is a whole generation in between. His mother and her siblings-too argumentative and crazy making to take care of anyone but themselves. Gpa's wife just passed. Not their mother-(step mother-married GPA later in life. finances always kept 100% separate and even)
Now we have care of Gpa (Very early dementia). His kids are LIVID. 3 of them seem to be fighting us every step of the way. every decision we make is wrong, questioned, judged. We haven't done anything but get his paperwork in order, offering complete transparency in his finances (they are his beneficiaries) and willing to accept suggestions. We caught them in the house digging thru papers and things-when the house was supposed to be off limits to them as half of it is the deceased wifes estate now and Gpa is in assisted living.
attorney suggested changing locks and only allowing Wife's POA access and my husband and Gpa access. We have no issues with Wife's family (POA). My DH's family keeps insisting we grant THEM access to the house. We keep telling them--If he NEEDS or WANTS something from the house--we will take him to retrieve it. We cannot figure out what they want INSIDE the house. Gpa doesn't seem to want anything dire when we ask him and we have had him there multiple times to collect personal items.
They are refusing to help CARE for Gpa (their father) if we don't do what they want. So my question is-because we are POA, Both financial and healthcare, does this mean that we are also CAREGIVERS of day to day things? Haircuts, transporting to Dr appointments, shopping? We have signed no "caregiver agreement" with Gpa. Do we NEED to? We live 2 hours from him, they live 10 minutes away from him. Whose responsibility is the daily tasks needed? If WE drive to bring him to appointments, are we allowed milage at least? It is killing our car and we have young children at home. We don't WANT to let him down. We WANT to fulfill our agreement-but we aren't sure what our agreement IS really-other than take care of finances and carry out healthcare directives.
I apologize if this seems scattered. WE are trying to figure out if WE need a lawyer. Can WE hire a personal care attendant if Gpa's kids refuse to help?

Well-
Internist concurred, medication reaction, higher dose Tramadol than what I took previously. EKG was done in office, checked out normal. So don’t have to get a cardio clearance. Tick another one off the pre-op list.
Made a folder to take to Tuesday pre-op, to give EKG printout, avoid duplicate testing. Emailed surgeon, got list of bloodwork he ordered for pre-op. Sent it to internist, so she could lend status on duplicate tests. I also have bloodwork order and MRI for back orders from pain management, in the folder. Will ask if it is possible for all three docs to get the labs report, if they can do all labs and imaging Tuesday at pre-op. Hey, can always ask. Then, if they can only send results to the ordering physician, Plan B, the docs can just share the test results among themselves. I’m transparent, have nothing to hide from any of the docs. Also, might be that pain management doc is holding off on trying new meds until she receives the labs and imaging report. I know a lot of medical stuff, but certainly not medically trained. Try to just do as instructed.
Tomorrow I have to call hubs’ pulmy/internist to get his meds resolved, ASAP. The nurse fell down on the job last week, despite being given 3 days to get his prescription called into pharmacy, caused hubs to go through weekend, no script, and she didn’t call to advise why no script. She just didn’t follow through. I called the after hours line, and the clerk refused to take my information and have after hours doc call me back. Then the after hours clerk, just hung up on me. Nice. So, we have no meds here to wean him off, no instructions as to a weaning schedule. Can’t use doctor google, as we didn’t know we would need to do a fast weaning. Medical incompetence is rampant. Nurse should have just called in a one month script. Give instructions on weaning off, if that’s the decision, but do not ignore the patient. Professionalism isn’t always practiced. I know others here have had the same treatment.

Gershun - I hope the new eye doc finds that all is well for you. It is scary to be concerned about eye health!

Margeaux - I understand wanting to ask questions but not knowing where to begin because you don't have the lay of the land. I hope things go smoothly as the financial/trust issues are resolved.

Golden - I love hearing about your kitties. Best of luck with DD and family: and yet another transition!

I just needed to check in. Things are a roller coaster with my parents in and out of hospitals and rehab. Too much to write about right now.

Golden I envy you having young cats. My cats seem to just puke a lot now and sleep. I love them and they get their regular checkups so I don't understand the puking

I had an eye appt on Thursday and he said I am glaucoma suspect. So I have to get all these further tests done. I went through all this about 4 years ago and it all turned out okay so I'm hoping this will be the case this time too.

I have a suspicious optic nerve but I think it's congenital. My old eye doc retired so I have to go through this old song and dance with the new doc

My eye pressure's are on the high side but my old doc
determined I have thick corneas so the results are misleading.

I find all this very worrying and stressful.

Margeaux - I am sorry that things are moving too fast for you. There often is a discord between the executor and other family members. It is a hard time for everyone. I won't be riding in the mountains this year it has been so wet it is slippery and not safe, so I have found a few stables near E'ton where I can get back in the saddle and see how I do. The kitties are a joy and probably some dysfunction there too lol.

glad - hope everything with your mother's estate gets sewed up without more trouble.

dixie - no kind deed goes unpunished. Families can be the worst for that. You have to look after yourself.

duck keep on keepin' on. You are making progress

girl - lots of health issues. Looks like you are getting them sorted out.

sharyn -wondering how you and your bro are.

The dreaded over 80 every two years medical is coming up. At least it means I have to see a doctor every two years lol.

June bugs and cheeseburgers -and turkey - are the latest interests of the kitties. They killed a June bug. I found it on the floor of their room. Dgs said it was 2 inches long but actually about half that and dead as a door nail -their first conquest apart from toy mice and mylar balls etc. . Pumpkin is a foodie - he loves to eat and has discovered that the kitchen is the source of many good things. Rockie is getting tamer and joined Pumpkin for a cuddle with me tonight and totally enjoyed being stroked and having his ears scratched.

These little guys and their antics are a good distraction from grief. It will be three months since my niece died next Thursday. I think I am over the 9 months after mother's death, so getting through it all. I have been reading light mysteries which helps too.

Dd and fam are working things out, She says they will return home for the start of school so that will be another change to deal with. I have discovered from sleeping in the basement I need more cool, more quiet and more dark at night which is what I get down there Good discoveries!!!

Most of the pprwrk for the estate that has to go through my hands to date is done. What a relief!!! Once it is finished I will start doing some things for me and for the house. I have a list!

I posted a thingie on fb the other day to the effect that "You have mastered survival, now start to live," That is my intention.

Good night all - be good to you.

Interpretation needed?

Bock bock bock bock = chicken sounds.

Bock bock bock bock bock

DDuck-
So, I have the CAT Scan and cystoscopy scheduled August 30th. Odds in our favor, for women with blood in urine, for it to not be serious. Not so for men. Still has to be investigated.
I called and left detailed voicemail for pain management doctor, explaining the side effects, and stopping the meds. Told her I wanted her to know so that she can change to different meds, prior to my September appointment, should she decide to do so. That way when I go in for follow-up she won’t be thinking I should have Lyrica and Tramadol in the urine sample. I’m always transparent, very cautious with meds.
I spoke with internist’s nurse, about the very bad low heart rate symptoms. This is very unlike me. She scheduled me to see the internist tomorrow. While I don’t know if it’s necessary, I see an EKG looming on the horizon, and maybe a cardio consult in the near future. Still hoping I will be having the hip replacement in September.
Sending healing thoughts to all here, and for me too.

Dixiedoodle, you are right, that family Caregivers very often aren't given the credit they deserve, and sometimes family are over critical and think they know best, but you are the boots on the ground, and no doubt you know best about what your Mom needs are and you are doing everything within your power to care for her because you Love her. Yes, it is exhausting, especially when you don't have family that you can rely on.

I think its great that you still work and that your Mom is being cared for in a SNF. So many times we hear where the primary Caregiver has given up their jobs, their homes and their complete independence in order to care for their parent (s), and it just isn't fair. I know that sometimes it is nessasary, but they often end up with no way to support themselves now and in their retirement, and they lose Everything! Please don't do that, it sounds like your Mom is in the best place possible, and I'm sure that you still end up doing an incredible amount of Care taking, which is like having 2 full time jobs. Remember, that this is a season in your life, that there are lessons to be learned, and that you are an Angel for all you do in the care of your Mom. Don't listen to others who have no clue how hard you work to care for your Mom, and continue to do all you can within your means both physically and mentally. Be especially careful of Caregiver Burnout!

Take Care and Welcome to the forum!

Like the rest of you, I could write a novel about this. Even as an only child, I still have to deal with dysfunction with family dynamics. Basically, I am coping okay with caring for my mother and holding down my job, especially now that she is in a SNF. I visit her daily at night after work.

My father does not like my mother's sisters for his own various reasons, valid and imagined. So I try to play peacekeeper and make sure they do not run into each other when they visit my mother. And it comes from a place of love but one of my mother's sisters in particular is very opinionated about how I care for my mother. She really does mean well and I was only hurt once she she criticized me for taking a week vacation. But to keep the peace, I just let it roll off my shoulders. Not worth correcting any incorrect statements she may say.

I'd love to say to this aunt - when her husband, my uncle, was sick with cancer, their youngest daughter (who was an adult in her 30s at the time) basically said she would not care for her father full time and that she had to work, etc. Granted, my cousin was right to have her feelings. And my aunt was my uncle's primary caregiver. But my cousin had the luxury of flitting in and out briefly once a day to see her dad yet carry on with her life as normal. Luckily my aunt had another sister who really helped her as well as an older daughter.

I do not have that luxury at all and am doing a lot to care for my sick parent. For a year and a half before my mother needed to go to SNF, I lived with her, cooked, cleaned, and held down my job as best as I could. I am mentally, physically exhausted and have sacrificed a lot for this. Kind of dysfunctional that strangers praise me more than my own family. But I guess no one sees it within themselves or their children.

Glad,

Oh I do remember when you were having to deal with the twisteds.

I know some people want to get on with it regarding inheritance. I'm aware it can take some time, its just that my sister doesn't know how to just chill. I personally thought that 3 weeks into mom being gone, was too damn soon, that's my opinion.
But then again I am talking about my sister. When it comes to other's feelings or being just a bit more gracious or sensitive about matters this is where one can feel her exerting her dominion & control. THAT'S what bothers me the most, it's the dysfunction.

Our parents had all this property, (several houses & and apartment bldg.)
They've indicated according to my sister that it is to be divided four ways equally.
However, of course the properties are all different values. It's been left to the total discretion of trustee (sister) to decide what will be done to that end.

I'm really wondering about my sister and she brought up a situation that I thought was super weird! O.K., so my parents owned the house we grew up in when we were very young. Last 9 yrs. or so it's been rented by the same family, a middle aged couple. This house is located about 17 miles away from my sister's residence. The other day she told my brother and myself that it appears the tenant brings my sister the rent sometimes in person, I guess when he's late. Where my sister lives it's one of these track home situations. So right around the block there's a house identical to sis's residence. Tenant left an envelope w/cash in it the rent and slipped it onto a porch under a mat by the door at the wrong house. Later, when tenant called my sister to make sure she'd received the rent, my sister told him she hadn't. Well, he had to return to my sis', and luckily my sister knows the neighbors where tenant left his rent and they recovered it.

My question in my head was.....oh brother is his this how my sister manages rents??? Now even if this tennant wishes to send my sister $$ like this,
why hasn't she set it up a P.O. box and have the tennant buy a money order.
IDK, it just seems weird to me managing rentals in this manner!!

Another thing that the financial advisor. told my siblings was the fact that they've been renting most of mom's rentals way, way below mkt. value. Later, my sister mentioned to me that the reason she doesn't raise rents, is because that way they keep tenants. It's stuff like this that raises questions to myself as to really how savvy my sister is when it comes to business. She was always credited in the family especially by my dad, as being really good at math. That's all fine & dandy, but I don't think that gives anyone a great business sense.

Yesterday I went to the library and was reading a book, "Beyond the Grave," by
Jeffrey Condon, Esq. In this book he gives different examples how people leave their inheritances to loved ones. The do's & don'ts. He's an estate planning attorney.

Thanks Glad, I do understand about moving on also.
I'm trying to do that, it's been a month now since mom's passing. IDK where this last month went.

Much Love & Light!
Margeaux

Stacey,

You are so fortunate that you come from a family that works together.
My sister and I are the eldest then my two brothers.

I wasn't entrusted at all throughout anything having to do with our parents, only a bit of caregiving, but my sister has made all decisions since she was POA, and now trustee. Our youngest brother (the more responsible between our brothers has been working with my sister managing mothers rentals for some time now.
He is the next trustee after my sister.

I understand that my sister wants to get things going, but I do feel that she's in such a rush about the whole matter she's missing some huge elements so that we can all know/understand what the heck is at stake here. First of all I for one have never ever had a copy of the trust in front of me, so that I could read it, before we talk to an attorney. It's very hard for at least to try to understand these documents without having read anything. I know I can request a copy being one of the named persons on the trust, but I'm somewhat reluctant to ask my sister since she has never ever shared the way she's managed mother's accounts, etc. up to now. I can tell by the way she's behaving right now, it does feel as if my sister is a bit full of herself.

The last two weeks, for example we went round and round about when it would be convenient for all of us to meet w/an attorney. My brothers and I live somewhat far from my sister, and the attorney is in her neighborhood.

Then my sister appeared to be giving my two brother greater consideration as to what day we would meet, so they wouldn't have to skip work. I found myself being grilled by my sister when I told her I wouldn't be able to make a certain date. Oh well!!! I didn't care......as I've stated what's the effin rush all about???
We'll see but I fear that my sister is going to show and exert her power game via all of this.

Anyway, thank you so much for you input,

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

GirlS, so sorry health and meds are so difficult for you. Best wishes on all of it, you too Duck. So far, I am very fortunate in that regard, thank heavens.

Well, New homes can't all go smoothly. As landscape was nearly complete, had two driving storms in two days. Backfill on house collapsed, window well filled with about 12" or water, about nine frogs in there. 🐢🐊🐍🐸🐸🐸. Finger pointing between contractors. Determination? Hopefully, just the second storm, horizontal rain, absolutely pounding, about two inches over about 45 minutes. Day before three inches over about an hour. We will see.

Bless my contractor, he came over Friday when I sent him pictures. His dad, only 60, on hospice with less than two weeks. Dad passed yesterday, so young, but contractor came today to take care of bringing in dirt. One of those, like me. When mom passed I just continued to work, had to if I wanted to keep from going stir crazy. No time to wallow. Just had to get on with it. Mom was finally released as was contractor's dad, but he had been so sick, but so young.

Finally, got remainder of financial information. Nothing looks out of the ordinary, thank goodness. I am so ready to be done with it all!

And five inch hail about 60 miles east of here today and tornadoes. Wild! At least it wasn't here to destroy my new landscape.

Dang Girl, urine in blood for a year not addressed!!

I feel for you with the pain dilema and the affect on your systems. Please be careful. Make sure someone is following you professionally. Starting and stopping drugs can also have detrimental affects on your body.
I say go slow and add things one at a time so you can see the effects especialllyt if you are just starting them. I dont know if you were already on some of lthe meds but they each should be introduced in a way to monitor how you handle them.

I wish you all the best. It must be really hard on you living with this type of pain from so many issues for such a long time. Sometimes I can hardly bare the nawing pain that comes from turning in bed but at least I get some relief at times.

I hope you find a safe and effective combination.

Hang in there.

Rays of love and healing to all.

Good Nite

DDuck, let us know when surgery is scheduled. I’m sure we are all following the saga. Time to take care of you!

So, the last several days were horrific, very low heart rate. I discontinued the Lyrica, as my face swelled up as if I was on high dose of prednisone. And, I also stopped the Tramadol. I had just gotten titrated up to one every 8 hours. Never took three in 24 hours when I previously was prescribed Tramadol. It’s finally out of my system, and my heart rate is no longer depressed.

this meds situation does not bode well for me, with three upcoming joint replacements. Oxycodone isn’t going to work, nor hydrocodone, as they will depress my heart rate and lung function even more than Tramadol did. I am thinking to go to on Tramadol daily, few days, then call the pain management doctor to fill her in on the situation. Rather than waiting for the early September follow up appointment. That would give her time to prescribe me a trial of something else for pain, to see what I can tolerate, before they do the right hip mid-September. If that is how she wishes to proceed. Maybe gabapentin for the diabetic neuropathy might be less inclined to swell up my face so badly. And maybe Celexa. Will see what she says. I’m going to need something for pain post-op. Trying something else before I’m in post-op agony with a bad drug reaction seems something to discuss.

Just to keep things interesting, I had my urology new patient consult today. He was displeased that the internist I fired had been ignoring blood in urine for a year. Had same urinalysis result today. He was also displeased the urogynecologist I was sent to by the FL Medicare Advantage Plan Humana HMO never did a cat scan or cystoscope to rule out cancer, before doing weekly bladder installations, prescribing several different meds. Cancer was never investigated. Medical care in south FL was a cluster F***. My pulmy, and the gastro both pulled me in behind closed doors, told me what medical care I needed, tests, oxygen, and told me the HMO and PCP were refusing me care, despite the specialist’s Requests for specific needed testing and medications. They sent me to a quack neurologist to take me off the neuropathy meds, despite the fact she never laid her hands on me, nor ever consulted nor ordered a single X-ray.

So, the urologist is going to try and rush through the CAT Scan and cystoscope, get me surgical clearance, so the blood in the urine that will surely show up next week at pre-op testing can be explained suitably, to allow the hip replacement to go forward.

Oh my, my brain hurts!

Rays of love and peace and healing to all.

Sleep Tight!!!!

Margeaux, I am wishing you all the best as you go through all of this so soon.

Glad, I will check out google on dirt.

Girl, great you got your meds. These new changes makes things so complicated.

Sometimes there is not a lot of posting but I still feel as if I am not caught up and technically I am not,

The past few weeks have been good. What a difference the lack of ignorance and spite can make in ones life. I havent seen my twisted or twistneph. I did find shower head turned on me on sunday. I guess that was in response to my news that I would be going away on the 23 - 29th with my client to camp. or either APS sent out a notice and I didnt get it. Anyways shamefully when I find that shower head turned toward me its makes me feel good because I know I did something in someway shape or form that touched twisted hit a nerve.

So I got date for surgery during the second week of september and I have this long list of clearnace test to be done by then. So I have to get on top of things. I had just rescheduled my thyroid scan and biopsy from sept 19th which would have been a time I would be off because of the surgery. Well lotsof details I could go into.
I found flower pots moved and knocked around today after I told somefriends I would leave so books for her. She got the books on Sunday as she was waiting for me as I left for work. I left her and her boyfriend sitting on stoop. Whoever overheard me talking them saturday must ofthought I was going to leave something valuable and saw them sitting on stoop with nothing and I guess came back to check through pots. Took a whole tire pot off another tire. Itwas weird. Left me feeling funny. The enemy is so busy. Things calm downwith the family then a stranger overhears me telling someone i will leave something behind flower pots and do a topsy turvy investigation. I hope whoever it was doesnt keep coming back lookin. He did it today while I was sleep. To bad nephew didnt happen by when he was at work or maybe he did. I noticed a man looking at me as I spoke with the two friends in passing in the street.


Anyways I am a nervous wreck as usual about the trip and now the surgery I just learned of today. My client is sick andcongested andI hope she will be better before camp trip. She usually passes stuff on tous all but sofar so good.

To day was Sham's birthday. Everyday is a birthday in heaven. I spoke to the kids they were on their way to go to park to release balloons. The father is still having a hard time which is understandable. I know my aunt will send me video.

My son and family are well. I may have mentioned I dont think I will be going to Korea to visit this thanksgiving. they will be returning a few months after that Also I have the APS situation, If I dont get clearance for surgery that could be put off andpending again and then I have the thyroid situation to deal with so my plate is full.

I am haveing more anxiety attacks well increased because they had really slowed down.

And then, in the information ts2 did provide, there is a monthly charge of $55.00 from my mom's accountant. Does that sound like it could be payroll for one person? Was she paying herself without court approval? Is this going to get ugly?

Margeaux, I am sorry that the meeting on the trust was too early for you and that hubby is so ready to get on with it. I think it would be better that way than what ts2 is doing. Two years later, still waiting for financial information that the trust instructed her to provide semi-annually. Received information six months after mom passed, then nothing until May this year. Still not complete, she is also required to provide tax returns as part of that disclosure.

I heard from the attorney a number of times, the last time a week and a half ago asking why I wanted to see the tax returns. Are you kidding me?! My reply, because it is required by the trust. Now crickets. So frustrating, I want this all done, finally. So, you gotta wonder what is she hiding? My mom would have been so disappointed in the way this has been managed and twisteds behavior for the past eight years. Gotta believe in karma.

So, Margeaux, go with the flow. I would have done as your sis, I was the caregiver and my grieving process was well along. It will help to alleviate problems down the road. Ts2 should have done the same, but everything has been so secret, not at all as she was instructed.

GirlSaylor, I have never encounterd the problems you’ve described with Silver Scripts which is owned by CVS. I use my plan at local Hannaford Grocers. They are less expensive than CVS. I have also used my Silver Scripts at Walgreens.
My PCP, cardiologist and nephrologist prescribe all of my meds.

Yes, these nuisance situations requiring us to refill meds on a certain day, so as to not be labeled drug seeking, if we go to pharmacy two days early, or we are sick and run out of meds for a couple of days, are a huge problem. I will have to check how my POA reads. We need to update the core estate documents anyhow. I’ve just been too sick to do it the last couple of years. Now I’m retired, working through things I couldn’t get to for being sick myself. POA is a great backup idea.
I've now got the meds I was prescribed, the entire prescription. And I’m under care of pain management doctor who runs a practice in compliance with state law, so hopefully things will run smoothly from here on out, as far as meds goes. But will definitely look at the POAs we have to be sure they are written the way we want.
Not feeling well tonight. Nauseated, dizzy, feeling weak. Usually it’s low blood sugar when this feeling comes on. Not tonight. My pulse is way low, checked heart rate on my oximeter against my blood pressure cuff, as goth give heart rate. It’s been running in low fifties for a couple of hours. Normally runs somewhere around 84-86 when I’m at rest. If the bradycardia continues, I may need to consult with pain management to see if the Tramadol might be responsible.p for it.

Girlsaylor, look into this further. I am POA for my mom, and I can even get her Oxy from the pharmacy. It is a drug with only a paper scrip being accepted, and no partial refills accepted, so I have to get there on the exact day the last one expired, and pick it up. After several fiascos with a major pharmacy, I now deal with a small local one, and I have NO problems. Can your POA look into this? I am sorry you are having problems.