The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Alabama~I am glad to hear things are working in your behalf being able to visit mom!!

Oh my dysfunctional family....they drive me nuts. The courts finally took the guardianship away from my evil sibling and gave it to an agency. Now evil sibling is telling our mother that the agency will cost so much money (and I get to VISIT too!) and this evil sibling is confusing my mother. If only my mother knew how much it cost when evil sibling had her declared incompetent! It comes out of mother's money. So disgusting. For those of you who have evil control freaks in your family, who rip you away from your parent, hang in there. The truth comes through. It takes time.

Mythree – my father has told me that too. Actually his exact words are: “That’s why we have children – to take care of us in our old age.” And then he proceeds to Try to enforce his authority over me. He expects me to jump at his every whim. Ha! So we always butt heads.

Yankeuren – It’s too bad that siblings who make much more than us – refuse to help us. You should hope really hard – what goes around comes around. Wouldn’t it be great that instead of him dying instantly, he will lose his wealth, and see how long these girlfriends last. And then on top of that, be diagnosed with Alz. Let’s see how he handles that without any extra cash for a fancy nursing home. I’d much prefer that our siblings learn what’s it like that WE went through.

Momlife – you have it so hard. As for the kids, my sis just went thru the terrible teenage years with her 2 daughters. I kept telling her not to Trust them. Doesn’t she remember when we were teens? Nope, she said that they have open communications and she trusts them. I told her that they are teens, and will pretend to be with their friends – but instead will be with their boyfriends. She said that they don’t have boyfriends. Needless to say, both girls got pregnant. Yep, they don’t have boyfriends…..I don’t know how to get them motivated. My sis struggled with her 2 teen girls and teen stepson. It was a very difficult time for her and hubby.

Margeaux~Thank you for clarify the situation with your friend. I understand now that she just has a negative temperament. That is hard to deal with but I am glad you are detaching. Those famous words we use so often, detach with love and set boundaries. You are a great friend to her and I hope she can see that, learn to appreciate it. Sometimes when we have been hurt so much in life, we only see the negative, try hard to get others to see it too.

I must admit that what I muttered was justified in the situation. I chuckle to myself as well but try to keep it to myself in case it bites me in the butt. Today was the first day that I worked since the incident happened with the store manager working too. He never said a word to me about it. Interestingly enough, another customer went off on a courtesy clerk today. The poor girl accidentally squished the customers cupcakes when bagging them. The customer said, "You f**king idiot!" the checker told the customer, "We can take it to the bakery for them to fix it." The customer said no!..."Make her F***king pay for it, the F***king idiot!" The young girl was in tears and left to the bathroom for quite sometime. The store manager walked out with the customer and once outside, he told her not to come back. Customers tend to have the attitude we as employees must be PERFECT. When we make a mistake, there is no rational thinking on their part...they only see a discount or getting it free so they make a big scene about it. It is a shame that our society has this attitude, but KUDOS to our store manager for sticking up for his employees and that we do not have to accept abuse from a customer just to make a sale. A few days ago, one of the head clerks asked me where I lived because he sees me drive by his house on such and such streets. I said Oh, I go that way during my lunch break to see my mom. Today when I was driving back from my mom's I saw him. He waved and I stopped and we talked a few minutes. He said I heard about what happened with you and a customer the other night, I said oh yes, she was something else and that the manager did not say a word to me about it. He said the word around the store is she came in with an attitude so he wouldn't say anything in that case. It is great to have the support of my co-workers and management in this case, however, I do need to watch my mouth, Lol...in the future!!

Without rambling on too much longer, I am off tomorrow, Yay!!! This is the first part of a weekend I have had off since we came back from Idaho in October. We are going to go for a drive, take some pics and just enjoy the time together since hubby doesn't have to work either. I told sis she will need to keep in touch with mom during the day and I will be there as usual to give her the medicine.Hugs to you Margeux!!

Welcome to our thread cinderbard!! We hope you come back and share some more. Hugs to you!!

Cmag~From what I understand about disability, this interview is you have to go through is standard procedure. I am sure you have nothing to worry about, but it is frustrating just the same. Keep us posted, we are all thinking and praying for you. Hugs!!

As I thought about this today, my free time for the week, I was thinking that I am doing as well as can be expected. I try not to take things to seriously, because I do know that one day my mom won't be here and I will miss her, but I have had this time with my mom and the rest of the family hasn't and for that I feel sorry for them. I also have a handicap son, one of five children, lost my husband before the last one was born, and life sure knows how to throw some punches at us. All we can do is make the best of what we have been handed, I can only guess that we end up as caregivers due to the fact that we accept responsibility when needed. My dad wanted me to be the one to take care of my mom and he had his reasons, and I just accepted the fact that she is my mother and I love her dearly, even when she drives me crazy....then I have to remember the disease is slowly taking her away from me.

I tend to be rambling, so I hope it has helped someone, it has me. Just to be able to write it down and I will try not to cry over things that I really can't change. We do know that a nursing home is not the place for her, after her stay in the hospital and two weeks there she was worse then before.

hugs to all

During my last visit to my mom's I had an opportunity to talk with my sister.
She began telling about the ongoing tension she feels with our sister in law.
I'd posted about the competition my sister and SIL have about each of their two daughters. First of all both my sister and SIL are difficult people.

During the holidays they had some unkind behaviors by the youngest daughter's thwarted against one another's families. My sister's daughter didn't say, hello to this SIL, my brother (her uncle) and the two daughters when they arrived at my sister's place. Then my brother's and SIL's youngest girl dissed my other niece's 1 yr. old baby boy. He tried giving that girl a toy of his, and she just stared at him,
choosing not to react. All these nieces are 18 yrs. and older.

So my sister was telling me that in addition to all of this, that our SIL gave my sister's youngest daughter a $25.00 gift certificate for a hamburger food chain for Christmas.
I just found this out last week. My sister's daughter is obese. So my sister and the daughter of course took offense to this gesture by my SIL. My SIL, and one of her own daughter's is obese also. Anyway, I thought this very weird behavior on my SIL's part. But, I must also say, that my sister's daughter has been targeted before, and I realize it is unkind for others to either poke fun, or point out a weight issue to anyone. But I'm always wondering why it is my sister doesn't address the issue of the weight thing too. I say this, because my niece's dad's side of the family has a lot of diabetes. Anyway, it's very hard for me to bring up this issue with my sister. I hear that they would be offended, but I think they should focus on the weight issue.

One of the reasons that my sister was talking about my SIL, is t he fact that our brother unfortunately lost his job of 29 yrs as a rep for one of the most popular beverage companies in the US. We were all quite sad for my brother, as we as most people think when one has this kind of a job, thought he'd be retiring from this company. Over 3,300 employees were let go. We worried morally, and of course financially what it could do to my brother. Well, he seems to be maintaining a positive outlook, no matter what. I sure hope so.
No matter what, I always wish the best for my brother, SIL and my neices.
Margeaux

Sharynmarie,

I forgot to comment about what you said about my neighbor and she resenting other people in relationships. I don't know whether that is the case with her. She was in a very abusive relationship with her last husband, many years ago. It was at a time unfortunately when woman didn't know, or have resources to complain about it. I know some of this attitude may come from this experience.

She just turned 76, the other day. Some of her other friends, who I've met, are either in relationships or have just lost their husbands. There's one friend who as I said just lost her husband less than 2 years ago. When she speaks of this situation, my neighbor has the, "Get over it attitude." I had to explain to her, that it's not quite that simple to do; the grieving. I so don't like it when people talk this way about others. Plus, she really scoffs at this friends caregiver role with her husband.

In the time that I've become friends with her, (8 years), she's never dated, or mentioned being in situations where she could possibly meet any men. In this regard, it's basically always negative talk. She also has a friend who is 82, who is quite amazing. She has a boyfriend, and seems to be very interested in keeping this part of her life alive. When she's made negative remarks about that, I've responded with, "I think it is great that she feels motivated still at her age, to have this interest." So you see, she's negative! I'd heard some of this talk before.
But when she decided to comment on me and my husband, well I just thought this a bit much!

I did go over on Thursday, to wish her a Happy Birthday. I've been quite busy this week and hadn't gone to get her a gift. I'll do that today. I must admit, that I was still with some residual energy, from that day she annoyed me, especially given the fact I'd taken her to 3 doctor's appts., and made food for her several times since she was not supposed to stand on those legs she'd had the procedures done to.
My goodness, could it occur to the pea brain, that whatever she's thinking about the fact that I do make dinner for my husband, that some of we who care about people, isn't to be mocked. How lucky are they, who benefit from this, too!

The day I was wishing her a Happy Birthday, she had a friend there. They were drinking a non-alcoholic drink. But she sat there and tried to criticize the other friend who also took her to an appointment, claiming she couldn't find her car in the parking lot, etc. I politely said that the parking lot in the medical bldg.is confusing, with lack of clear signs where not to park. Anyway, I think this a clear case, of she not having any support from her own family. Then she decides to dump on the people who help her out. There's lack of appreciation going on here. So my game is changing a bit with her. I do still like her and all of that, but I'm creating a bit of distance. The emotional detachment. Boy, hadn't said that in a long time.


Wow, your story about this customer. What a horrible customer that one is!
It made me laugh, what you muttered! HAAH! Under those circumstances I may have muttered the same thing, Sharynmarie. I know maybe this isn't the best thing to say to you! But you know I'm being biased here! Well, I'd have to think that under these circumstances your management would have to be absolutely crazy to think in any way that it was your fault. Try not to worry too much about it, especially if your co-workers are sticking up for you. No, and I've worked customer service, "The customer is not always right!" Do they have one of those, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone signs up?" O.K. going for my second cup of Joe! Your post did make me laugh, visualizing the whole scene.
Margeaux

Well, I grew up with an alcoholic father,dead now,my mom worked ,min jobs,dad didn't want to pay child support ,i moved with him as teenager with step family ,i got pregant at 15 or 16 had 2 children ended up divorced,childen stayed with my mon for several years while i worked because i didn't know what i was doing,now I remarried and had a child 20 yrs later -divorced because he was like my dad alcoholic,with a rap sheet ughh I was his3 wife, which he is on his 4th now with 2 other kids ,one with his wife now and the other one with the ex -girl he left me for,he trys to convince our child she is better off with him, domestic viol. involved he is with her because she has a good carrer,she more or less buying him,my child lives with me and my son which I am the caregiver,his home Its rough taking care of since i have no income and the deadbeat won't pay his child support right and goes to jail alot,, he just a a/hole that is sefish since he don;t own anything and nothing in his name and he depends on his moma and wife ,what a con, meanwhile I sell what little mhome i owned to take cae of son while actually he takes care of me and my daughter,Wow thats a mouth full can any body relate I am torn between I need a job --whos going to take care of them?? No friends ,no family help ,and I was diagnosed emphsemia I have 5 siblings =older that they always don't get along My son wants me to constantly do things around the house ,while teenager wants to do her thing , I am tired ,I can't get nobody motivated ,Then I end up forgeting things and frustrated
what a to do??? Did I mention 2 dogs and a cat I deal with feeding barking and cleaning up after too ,What a to do??? Dis -fun-ctional, much??

sharynmarie, nothing really different here. For some reason, social security disability has decided after 10 years to review my situation and have me meet with 'their psychiatrist' on Monday March 18th for an evaluation of my bipolar situation. This week my wife and I plus our oldest son will drive to visit my dad on Wednesday and come back on Friday.

Hi everyone!!

Dabs, how are things progressing with your brother in town? I know you dreaded his visit. I hope the appt. shed some light for your brother to understand and see what is actually going on.

Margeaux~How are you doing? I hope your neighbor is doing good and not imposing too much.

Cmag~How are things going with mom? How are you and your wife?

Joan~I hope you are feeling better. I am sorry your daughter is causing unnecessary stress. Hopefully she will see a dr. for an antidepressant. How is G, his son and mother?

Book~I am so sorry about your mother. It is very hard to go through and I hope you can get hospice help. You know I am thinking about you so check in with us when you can.

Nothing really new here. Still have not heard directly from the neurologist. Mom is not having good days since we took all her files out of her house on Monday. We need to go through everything to get all the legal info on her behalf. She doesn't understand that is back to accusing us of stealing her coins, dog food,etc. She is in a hyper mode and just hiding things, then changing where she hides them. This is a necessary process we must do for her.

Well my big mouth may have got me in trouble at work. I may get written up for this. What happened?...This is what happened.
On thrusday when I went to lunch, a woman came in the store asking when the rotisserie chickens would be done. The woman who helped her looked at the timer on the oven and told her the time left. About 10-15 minutes after I came back from lunch, the customer came back in and there was 12 minutes remaining on the oven. She started making a scene...she said she called the store 30 minutes ago was told the chickens would be done in so many minutes and the woman she spoke to was very rude to her. She pointed at me...saying I was the one she spoke to. I said I was not here, I was at lunch. She then tried to blame another co-worker. She said she called 30 minutes ago was told a time, then she came in the store 3o minutes later was told another time and now she was back and told 12 more minutes. Because I was out in the deli, she tried to blame me for all of it. She was aggressive, loud and very obnoxious. We called for a manager to come to our department. The woman twisted everything we said. No calls were transferred to our department during the time she said she called. I must have a mark on my forehead for some people to point fingers at me, LOL!! Anyway management said she could have the chicken on the house for her inconvenience. My big mouth muttered under my breath, It must be nice....she went off on me big time. She said you MOTHER F...ING B..ch, I hope you lose your job over this, YOU MOTHER F...ING B..CH, I have money to pay for it YOU MOTHER F...ING B..CH!!! I walked away from her and went in the back of the bakery. My co-worker called for management again. I know should not have said what I said, but she really... her only purpose was to get what she wanted for free and she knew what she was doing. We deal with certain customers who pull this stuff regularly. Because she targeted me... simply because she was looking for someone who was not there when she came in the first time... I was pissed and more. My co-workers are sticking up for me because this woman comes in usually when I am at lunch and she is always a bitch...they say. Tomorrow...who knows what may happen when the store manager is there. Even though people are supporting me, does not mean management will go along with it. I absolutely hate people who are gold diggers and this woman is one with a Capital G.

vankeurengroup~I am so sorry for all you are going through. I know it is tough when siblings refuse to help. The only thing I can say, and you may not want to hear it, is that caregiving is a choice. You cannot force your brother to help you or your mother, he will have to deal with that decision at some point in time. We all have the power to choose, even when we believe we have no chose. I am sorry that this is the truth of the matter and my heart goes out to you. I suggest you contact the Area Agency on Aging in your city or county for more resources. You may be surprised at what your mother would qualify for...many programs to help. Keep us posted. Hugs to you.

Well, I have a brother who has multiple millions of dollars and lives across the country. He doesn't visit, doesn't call and doesn't contribute to caring for my mother. I have cared for her with my husband's help, for the last four years in my home. There have been multiple health issues aside from Alzheimers such as recurrent UTIs and a fractured hip, plus a head injury due to a fall, and vasovagal syncope, all requiring hospitalization and in home health "rehab". It's an extremely difficult situation and my brother does nothing despite the fact that he has no "family" of his own, and spends his time and money living a life of luxury in sunny California, often taking trips to other venues around the world. Not to mention he is grossly obese due to living the "high life" and enjoying a rich diet and zero exercise. My only hope is that his lifestyle will kill him early and he will leave me a ton of money. But I don't hold out for that because the way he is it will probably be left to one of the money-chasing golddigger girlfriends he has courted over the years.

Margeaux~I remember you posted some time back that your sis doesn't share info with you regarding your mom. My dad slept alot when he had Alz, even when he was still at home. My mother has always been hyper, never would sit down to relax during the day, and she stayed busy until she went to bed at night.

Yes, it is crazy that they haven't developed something to test more precisely on Alzheimer's. Even when my dad had it years back, they said they can only be sure from an autopsy on the brain. Drs. can get a good idea of what is going on with the person by eliminating other diseases and doing a neuro-psychological test on memory and from what I read on psychcentral, they can guess correctly 90% of the time. My dr. told me to keep cholesterol and blood pressure under control to help prevent it. Before they came out with the statin drugs for cholesterol, my dads cholesterol was over 300. Hugs to you and take care!!

Sharynmarie,

You didn't get into my personal business about my sister and me, at all.
I want to hear what others think, too. Your opinion is very valued!

Yes, and on that note, as I've written previously, I still really don't have enough info., w/respect to what kind of tests were given to mother when she was first diagnosed. She and the narcissistic sister were in the care of a general practitioner. But back in those days, mother's sister because she had a relationship w/this doctor, she was the one having the communication with him.
For about a year, before we actually discovered mom had been diagnosed w/ALZ,
her sister knew this. She never told of us, mom's children. So mother was on some kind of anti-depressant already. The reason her sister did this, was because they lived alone, together in mom's home. Mom being the more mobile one, was caring for the sister, and had been doing so, for about 3 years already. They both just didn't want to lose their independence.

Anyway, I've never been to a doctor's appointment w/mom, as I'm not MPOA.
I always get sketchy information from my sister about this. I'm going to look up this article. I had no idea that one can't tell if a person has ALZ, until an autopsy is done. That sounds kind of crazy, don't you think? Hugs, Margeaux

Book-beware jam posting from my kindle so anything may be said here lol. I think the Dr. May suggest a nero-psch evaluation. Just l ike y our mom it is a broad diagnosis but I don't think he will leave us hanging. Phew...I got through that without major mos typos.

Sharyn, my mom never got the brain scans. She just had a series of tests. And we (as in father, oldest bro, I and mom) also went to a psychiatrist, psychologist?? (Sorry, I always get those mix up). And he was the one who told us about mom's diagnosis and that we had a long road ahead and that mom's care should not fall onto one person's shoulder. That as a family, we need to pull together and help with the caring of mom. He prepared us on what to expect from mom as she progressed in her dementia. Well, those words went right in one ear of oldest bro (who lives next door) and out the other ear. Anyway, mom had a series of tests done to her ... her diagnosis was very broad: dementia/ alzheimer/ parkinson. As of yet, 24 years later, mom has no twitching/jerking limbs.

Book and Joan~I still maintain my mother has Alzheimer's Disease. This information came from the receptionist not the dr. The dr. is going to call my sister. The only thing I can come up with is that possibly the dr. does not think my mother incompetent at this point. I am going to talk with a nurse from the senior living community and ask if they have come across this and what questions we need to ask the neurologist.

Joan I hope you are feeling better. This time of year in my area can cause many illnesses because we go from spring to winter in less than a day. Allergies, viruses all come into play. Almonds started blooming last month, daffodils are blooming, and annual grasses that grow in the early spring and autumn are growing. All contribute to sinus infections and allergies. Take care and Hugs to you!!
Book~ Thank you for the link, I will do some research on Friday when I am off. I agree with what you posted, my mom has only shown symptoms of dementia for 2 years and she has declined quickly this last year. An MRI is not going to show that. If she had strokes, it would show that and offer some explanation, but that isn't the case. So here are as we were a year ago...we wait some more. Hugs to you book and please, take some time off even if you only rent a hotel room on your island to get away from everything and everyone. Maybe you should do a weekend away every 2 months. Please take care of your health!!

PARENTS ARE SELFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I get alot of crap if I need to anything for myself because I am told WE TOOK CARE OF YOU NOW ITS YOUR TURN. Well I was taken care of as a child by dysfunctional parents in a dyfunc. family for 14 years kicked out for being 30 minutes from work. Best thing that happened to me. Then 15 years ago got pushed into helping them out because Dad went blind and couldn't drive, Mom never drove. It just snowballed from there. I have lost to much of my life to continue to be there slave. Now I need to take of myself. PARENTS CAN AND ARE BULLIES.

Hi all - just checking in. We arrved In BC yesterday, but I am not good for much, as a sinus infection flared up so trying to get rid of that. We travel home tomorrow, It is so nice to see green grass. Rhododendrons and other shrubs and some trees are in bud. It will be glorious in a couple of weeks. No snow is great.
I want to say I love my daughter dearly, though she has never been an easy personality. I did get a brief email yesterday but nothing resolved. I just have to let go, let God and pray.
Book - please look after yourself better - whatever it is you have to do. If you took off, I think someone would step in,
bonnie - your mum is amazing. What an example!
sharyn - by any functionality tests your mum is declining. I am sure book is right about the MRI. Maybe you need an assessment by a geriatric specialist or a dementia specialist. If you have done this already forgive me, I am a bit foggy today,
Margeaux - glad you had a good weekend with you mum. You have a better picture of her now,
austin - good to see you here
gyspea - hope you have some better days

anyone I have missed, not intentional, just not up to much today. Hopefully I will be better tomorrow when we travel. I haven't used the hot tub here yet, and not sure that I should with this infection Dang!!! Can't take antibiotics as that would destroy all the work of the last couple of years in getting my gut balanced out again, Rest and OTC meds is the best. Prayers appreciated.
Love to all (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Joan

Oh, Sharyn, I was suppose to include this in my post. Not as detail but it may give you some ideas...
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-dementia-testing-149186.htm

Thanks, Bonnie, Margeaux and Gypsea.
Sharyn - I don't think MRI's are the 100% fool-proof in determining dementia..unless the brain has shrank so much - that it's obviously a dementia. Your mom just recently started displaying the dementia rapidly. From what I understand, the MRI is like the mammogram. The first time you do a mammo at the clinic, they use that first one as a Baseline. Then every year you go in, they compare the recent with the baseline to determine if anything changed with your breast mass. I think the same is with the MRI for the brain. But waiting until next year just to see if your mom's brain is shrinking ..well, realistically, she's going downhill fast. Who knows what she will be next year. Maybe it's schizophrenia mixed with dementia. I guess if the neurologist won't diagnose her as dementia based on the MRI ONLY, then next test her for schiz. But, I remember when mom got diagnosed with dementia. The neurologist told us that the only sure way to diagnose a person with alzheimer is when they die and do an autopsy.

My sis sent me an email saying the receptionist at the neurologist's office said the results of the blood work is normal and the MRI show some atrophy that is normal for her age, but not enough atrophy to determine dementia. Sis is freaking out, she said if it is not dementia, then what is going on with mom!! I say that too, but can an MRI actually determine Alzheimers?? I say she has Alzheimer's and only an autopsy can show that. Unless she has Schizophrenia that has gotten worse with age. Really what else could be going on here???

Margeaux~I questioned that too because my mom is approximately stage 5 and she does not sleep like you say your mother does. I am not trying to butt into your personal life with your sis, and I know every patient is different. Yes, they do sleep more as they progress. Your mom may be sleeping due to that. I am glad you got to spend time with her. Hugs to you Margeaux!!

bah, internet ate my post last night? Anyway, BW my heart goes out to you. your post reminded me of all that I do have, and how much worse things could be. Most weeks I get to leave Friday night with my nephew and come back Sunday night, my sister stay here with mom. I can wish he were better behaved, or that I had more alone time but I am reminded that this is a family crisis and we are all doing what we can, and that things will change

BW, I hope things change for you soon, please take care

Bookworm,

I was reading your post about feeling dizzy all day. This does not sound good, especially if you say you don't sleep. Is there any way, that you can get some kind of help? Please pay attention to this. Take care of yourself, and you're in my thoughts! Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Dabs,

Whoah! Your brother isn't nice, is he!!
How terrible that he seems to intimidate your mother. Poor thing, that she fakes things for his sake.

Our brother who once had POA, was a lot like this. But he was totally irresponsible, so POA, was yanked. He too, wanted to run my mom's and her deceased's sister's assets like he was some kind of commando. He always had the rest of the siblings in the dark, and made some very questionable maneuvers with money.

Interesting also what this caregiver is willing to say, in order to keep her job!
Well, Dabs, you're in my thoughts, Take a deep breath before you go to this appointment with your brother. I hope all goes well with your mother's prognosis also. Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Emjo,

You really expressed my sentiments about friendships and drinking.
It's certainly important to remember that we still have the right to our boundaries.
I see my neighbor many times operating in a big fog. Her stories don't make sense either. It's interesting too, because she even will say stuff like, "she'd like to drive her car into the ocean." She's made these weird death wish comments I know after she's been hitting the bottle. I don't want to hear this kind of talk, I'm just not up for that.

What is it with people when they use children in the picture because they have an issue with you. I know this behavior. My sister did the very same thing with her daughters and me. On the one hand, she at first had me very involved w/her eldest daughter when she was a baby. She's my God daughter. She really being the first niece in the family, I felt bonded with her. But then one day my sister and me had a falling out, and she made it very clear, she didn't want my niece being close to me. That's when I realized what it would be like to have a relationship w/my nieces. I decided right then and there, that NO, I wasn't going to just be looked upon, nor used as my sister's babysitter. Truth be told, I don't have a very close relationship w/either of her girls. Plus my sister is very jealous, and would be if she ever thought especially my God daughter was close to me. So I chose not to play that game.
I realize, for you being their grandmother though, this must be very difficult for you. You're in my thoughts, Emjo! Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Sharynmarie,

I'm glad to hear that it went well with the insurance agent.
Is your sister cooperating with you?

Yes, the visit with mom was good. I had the opportunity to bring this up with my sister the next day, when she returned. I have to be careful as to how I approach this subject with sister, so as not to draw a lot of attention, that I'm questioning her capabilities, etc., w/mother's doctors. Mom used to have a doctor, GP who was over prescribing mom and even our aunt too many meds. Mom is no longer with this doctor. Now she has another one. I did ask my sister whether this doctor was a GP, and she really didn't even no the answer to that, if you can believe it! I still think mom is possibly overmedicated. But I was also reading, on some info., about stages of ALZ, and apparently they do sleep more as the disease progresses. In any case, I was thankful for this insight, the days I was there.

I wish you nothing but the best with regards to straightening out all of the documents that will serve you in the future. You're doing a wonderful job with the care of your mother, Sharynmarie! Love & Light! Margeaux

Gosh, I don't know you but it is clear whatever is going on is just toooooo much for you! Does your post mean your siblings could really "do" something to help you? If they are ignoring your requests, then , they may be just hiding from resposibility? Let me know if there is any relief for you. I care.
Bonnie