
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
This is my brother's second marriage which he set boundaries around because of the dysfunctional situation in our family so I do not know this young man. I have been in a few social situations when he was a teen but that is all. My feelings are still there regardless. My feelings are centered around their family and what they are all going through. Thank you all and hugs to all of you!!
I'm really sorry to hear about Gary's mother. I will keep her in my thoughts.
Yes, my husband does do his share of travelling. He took the computer with him, so this is why I've not logged on for a couple of days. I was feeling the grieving, from Vanilla's passing. Interesting how an cat can provoke these kinds of feelings.
O.K., take care, Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I have your bother's step son in my thoughts. This is tough.
Well I'm glad to hear you finally had the appoiintment with the neurologist.
It's always good for one not to lose their sense of humor, as I see your expressed herself, in the doctor's office, how great! We do have to look at the good side of these events, no matter how small they may seem.
O.K., keep us posted, about your mother.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Do something loving for yourself today! :)
Happy Valentines all!
One night, I could not get to sleep until around 3 am and I finally got to sleep and slept until past 1pm. I don't even feel tired tonight and I've been u[ 24 hours straight without even a nap. I don't think it is the addition of the thyroid med.
Now, if I can't sleep for two more nights straight, my psychiatrist is going to say that I'm entering a manic state of my bipolar disorder. I don't feel manic. I still feel depressed and am irritable, plus some parts of some days I have more energy to do things than others, but I can't wind down enough at night to sleep for my brain keeps thinking about random things. It is very important for people with bipolar disorder to have a stable sleep schedule and right now mine is off the hook!
I am going to try to go to bed and fall asleep.
Happy Valentines everyone!
Joan, I'm doing fine...still getting up several times every morning to suction mom. She now chokes on her saliva even though I have her on the side. Her tongue kindof sticks out and blocks the passage of the saliva from the mouth out. I hope you're also hanging in there all in one piece. Later...
(((((((hugs)))))) Joan
Prayers, hugs and love to all.
Sharyn - you are right - having both Gary and his dad in tears within a couple of days of one another did tug on my heart strings, They are usually stoic, and hold in emotions. However, I am glad they both felt safe enough to cry in my presence. It is a healthy outlet. I was most surprised at Gary's dad, as I have had so little contact with him, but at the same time pleased that he trusted me that much. Now he knows he can call anytime.
book - I think Gary is very stressed - guys like to take control of things, and these things can't be taken control of. I suspect he did go to see his mum, but, book, I cannot make that decision for him. She knows he loves her - he has been there for her and his dad many times - more than the other sons. They have a good relationship. His mum and dad accept me - the problem is really with the ex who controls the kids, but I can't do anything about that, so I have had to let it go.
I am at peace about, and will hear what is going on in due time. He has so much coming at him over work right now too. Major overload in many areas, I don't want to be an overload for him too. He, as I think with many other men, often needs to be left alone to deal with stress. Other times he will talk the hind leg off a donkey, and I listen. ;)
((((((((((((alabama))))))))) I am so sorry for the outcome and that you are going to have to keep dealing with this. I thought that there was a recomendation for someone out of the family to have "custody" - probably not the right term. It seems so wrong on many levels. I am glad you are appealing. It was not what your mu wanted at all, was it? (((((((((((hugs))))))))) keep in touch.
Hi to everyone else -hope you are doing reasonably well.
mywitsend - I bet you are enjoying the peace
susan - hope you have a place and a date for your fil to move out
margeaux, cmag, austin - how are you doing
mother is quiet, which is probably the calm before the storm, but I can't let it bother me
Taking my oldest grandson out for a meal tonight or tomorrow. He has moved up here and is looking for work.Nice to think about something else for a change.
everyone - let us know how you are ♥, hugs and prayers Joan
Sharyn, I’m glad of your updates on mom. The senior living community sounds great, too. I’m so sorry about your nephew (even if he is a step-nephew, he is still a nephew.) I hate cancer. I will keep you and the whole family in my thoughts and prayers.
Joan – so many things happening too much with Gary’s family these past couple of months. He must be really stressed and wondering why all of these are happening all at one time. Depending how quickly they found his mom’s heart infection, the less damage to the heart. But with her age and weakness (from old age), I guess she has an uphill climb. I know that Gary is busy with a lot of stuff and struggling with denial. But, Joan, he needs to go see his mom and tell her he loves her and make peace with his mom – JUST IN CASE she doesn’t make it. Or he will never forgive himself. I wish his family had accepted you. Because this is a time that Gary needs you. Since you’re not able to be there for him, you can do what my sis does when her hubby was deployed. Every day, she would text him that she loves him, miss him, etc… And he would text back. They’ve been married for over 10 years and they still say those word to each other…
HUGS to Everyone here!
Take care of yourselves and many hugs and love to everyone!
I am so sorry to hear about your bro's step son. How horrible for all of you, and particularly your sil. You are right, you can never totally be prepared. I will keep them in my prayers.
We have a situation needing prayer too. Gary's dad called a couple of days ago, and told me that his mum is in hospital and not doing well - an infection in her heart. She had a bypass 6 years ago. She is throwing up from the meds they are giving her and cannot ever speak to her husband. Dad was in tears on the phone. Gary left town just before that to go south to see Clay, his son with the head injury who is not doing that well since the surgery before Christmas, and then has to go to BC for a week for business. I managed to get a hold of him (his cell phone is acting up) and relay his dad's message, but haven't heard anything since. I know his mum's condition will hit him hard, I have mentioned to him that his parents are old, not in great health, and could go any time, and he doesn't want to hear it. I know he withdraws at times like this, so I will have to call south to find out what is happening. He has lots of work pressure right now too. Too much all at once!
I wish there was something I could do, but there really isn't. I feel so helpless up here. I have been fighting a bug of some kind as well - nothing serious, but I need to get rid of it.
Love and hugs to everyone. It is good we have oner another - and post all you want sharyn!!! :) Joan
I hope all is going well for everyone...mywitsend, did your mil move out over the weekend, I hope you are able to relax and get your marriage/family back normal.
Susan, So happy to hear that hubby finally realized what was going on and you now have his support. Envision, how are things going with you? I haven't really read up on everything, but I do hope you are well and getting some breaks.Joan, How is the food detection going? I hope Gary's son has some relief from all the pain. Margeaux, hoping you and hubby are feeling better health wise and regarding Vanilla. Cmag, hope you are feeling better and your wife is continuing to improve. Book, how are things going with your sister, I read you had some concerns with her smoking in the house, and now you are planning a visit from your brothers.
I will try to keep this short as I have been up since 4:30 am. The neurologist did not give a diagnoses yet. He wants an MRI on mom's brain and blood work first. Mom could not answer these questions: her age, memory recall on 3 words, could not spell world forward or backward, could not count backward from 100 by 7's (I would have to use my fingers after 86), didn't know who was president, what year it is or the month. So we wait for the result of the MRI and blood work. We went to IHOP after the appt. to give her something pleasant to focus on after the dr. visit. She wanted pancakes. I ordered a short stack for her (3 good size pancakes). I can't eat all in a short stack, she gobbled it all down, Lol!! I know she is not eating regularly, my goodness that is a lot of pancakes!! It took the dr. about 40 min. before he came in the exam room and while we were waiting, we were all quiet, then mom blurts out, "Is this what we are going to do all day!" We all started laughing, it was very funny.
Sis and I toured the senior living community. It is very lovely. Private rooms, some have shared bathrooms, some have private. It is like a hotel setting. We were very impressed. She can have her dog with her which would make the transition easier on her. We basically have to wait until we have authority to place her there and it also depends on what her LTC will cover. They have a library, computer room, laundry room, and all the planned activities. They play big band music from back in the day, pictures of Babe Ruth, Bogie and everything from the era that most of the residents remember from their younger years. The memory care unit uses the method called Expressions. It is based on expressions from the past such as "A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush." I could go on and on and you know I love to ramble so I won't say much more. Have a good night and hoping your week is a good one!!
Have a good weekend everyone!