The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Hotel California, where you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave. The guitars on this song are the best. I love the song. I read somewhere that it is about cocaine addiction. I think Don Henley and Stevie Nicks were into the drug pretty heavy when they were together. Of course, I never know if the celebrity gossip is true. I just know that I love the guitar work.

Sharyn, I agree with what you feel and what everyone wrote. My oldest brother was an alcoholic. My mother bailed him out financially repeatedly for 30-40 years. I kept telling her to stop, that she was hurting him. If she did not let him hit bottom, then he would never grow up and take responsibility. But she was his mother. She would give him money any time that he or my SIL asked. She resented it, but she did it. My brother never took responsibility for himself, and his wife and children suffered. Thousands of dollars of what my parents should have been saving for their old age went to him each year. Ultimately his wife left with his abused son, and my brother ended up drinking himself to death at age 57. I don't know if the outcome would have been different if someone had not bailed him out over the years, but it couldn't have been much worse. The only thing good that came from an otherwise wasted life was two sweet now-grown children.

Sometimes tough love is the only way we can truly help. It is hard to be a mother and watch your child do without, but it is harder to watch their lives go down because it was too hard to say no. 32 is an age when he should be on his own two feet and buying nice presents for his mom!

Sharyn, Hotel California reminds me of my addiction, and yes it was madness. insanity in one of the worst forms,,, definition of insanity... doing the same things over and over , expecting different results... and yes, I checked out, I'm clean and sober many many years now, but I can never leave, I'll be and addict until I die... just one that doesn't use..... This song was played at a friends funeral who died in a car accident, she was drunk.... nuff said...

I agree also with Ladee, no one wants to be used!

Sharynmarie, it sounds like you've tried to do all you can for your son. I just won't to share with you that my father bailed both my brothers out over and over again and they never did learn to be responsible. One died at the age of 65- didn't take care of his finances or his health. The other was a dentist, but never learned to deal with life in general (he's in prison). My father did what he thought he should to take care of my brothers, but I don't think it allowed them to grow up and take pride in being self sufficient. I've often wondered if a little tough love and letting the, deal with the consequences would have helped them in the long run. I don't know your family dynamics so I I have no idea what's best in your situation. But it's something to think about. My heart goes out to you because I dont think anyone wants to see their children struggle...

Sharyn, I totally understand how you feel about your son... we want to help, but it's not teaching them anything, and for my son, consequences mean nothing... it has been a very hard road with my son and me... I have FINALLY detatched, FINALLY... I let the 'guilt' or like you said, what ever it is, just run it's course now, and don't do anything until that feeling has passed... then I ask myself the question, am I doing this for him... if the answer is yes, I don't do it... don't know if that makes sense or not... but it has really helped me to not jump and do things that I resent later....If I stop at a fast food place and pick something up, I always think of him... but go thru this little ritual, is it for him... and I am not feeling so 'unappreciated' as he could care less if it was a 'thoughtful' action... so try to indentify that feeling, I sure don't know what it is either... I just know if I don't pay attention to it, I end up feeling used, abused, taken advantage of, ect.... all those feelings are self induced.... I called his dad to take him for his last surgery.... at one point during the day, I felt that 'feeling' for lack of a better term.... but he was fine, he did good with the surgery, him and his dad had some time together... ect...
And I am truly sorry you are having this conflict, but hope you understand when I say at least now I don't feel so alone with this... I know there is another mom feeling what I'm feeling, and trying to get healthy behind those feelings... so thank you for sharing your thoughts today... it was confirmation for me that I, at least for now, am finally on the right path in regard to him... I love him with my whole heart and soul, but do not like him sometimes, don't trust him, and that makes me sad... but I have finally accepted, HE is the one that brought those feelings about.... I work on myself to let the negative stuff go, some days I do good, some days I don't... but I know I'm not upset near like I used to be behind him... my son is 42......I think he truly is old enough to figure it out.... DUH.... thanks again for sharing today... sending you lots of "mama" hugs.....

What can we do about anything,just stay awhile and maybe learn.?

Something is weighing on my mind today regarding my son. He will be married 3 years in November. Both he and his wife brough debt into the marriage. They took on additional debt to help her mother pay for their wedding (a beautiful wedding), that was way beyond all their financial means. We have helped them out finacially many times over the 3 years, either giving them the cash, buying them grocery gift cards so they could pay their bills instead of us, letting them live with us for a year rent free. During the year they lived with us, they were called daily from creditors, late on car payment, late on credit card payment, late on cell phone payment, etc. While they lived with us DIL went to school for more training on Massage Therapy. She worked until around April of that year then quit her job to basically start her own business. She rented a room from a woman who has an office with two rooms (she is a massage therapist also). They ran their business separately. It is hard to get clientel when starting from scratch and the woman she rented the room from was no help, she had a lot of issue, possibly PD. Anyway DIL accepted a job with a Chiropractor in San Clemente where her parents live. My son and DIL told me she was moving down south through a text message 3 days before she leaving. I was very hurt and thanked them for letting us know their plans in advance (sarcasism). She moved out in Oct. 2011 and my son move on Jan. 1, 2012. Since they left, both their cars bit the dust. My son's car...because he wasn't taking care of it, not changing the oil, or putting in more oil. We helped him with the down payment on this car and he qualified for the loan on his own at the time. We were so proud of him for that and really played it up. We have given them money 2-3 times since they moved to San Clemente. Her parents have helped them too. Her mother accused us of favoring our daughter and blah, blah, blah!! Her mother and I decided we would be cordial to each other due to our differences which she associates as religous because we don't go to church and she does. Where I see it that we are conservative and she is liberal. Maybe it's the same difference?? Her mother was very disadvantage growing up and it is important to her to have the best which cost her and her husband their house. What I see is a woman who has raised her children to be willing to extend themselves to get what they want instead of doing without now and reaping the benefits later like we have done. Recently I saw on F/B where my DIL bought a juicer, she listed the name and model #. I admit, I am nosey so I looked it up, Lol! It cost over $300. She and her mother are into all kinds of health foods, herbal remedies. I have no problem with health foods, herbals except that it is more expensive and if you are struggling already, why not be a little more conservative until you can afford to go that route?? I am feeling...I am really not sure because it feels like guilt and I admit I have trouble sometimes knowing what I am feeling due to dysfunction. I am sad, hurting for my son or something because he called last night wanting us to cosign for them to get a second car which they need because my son commutes 1 hour each direction to his job and DIL works in the city they live in. We told him NO! We are giving them money to help with the down payment but we will not cosign a loan with them. We could give them more money that we offered too!! I am feeling what feels like guilt but I have no reason to feel guilty. It just saddens me to have to be hard on him to get him to grow up. He's 32 yr. old. Thanks for letting me vent about this!!

Jessie~Classic mentality of a personality disorder is that they are right, everyone else is wrong. Why, I don't know, but they have to be right. I think it helps to keep their denial in tact and their unreality in order. My mother lives in a bubble and she refuses to grow or to see that her thinking is so distorted. I guess having to admit that you are wrong and have treated so many people badly is too much to accept about themselves that it is easier to stay in the bubble. Sometimes I wonder if there is a disconnection in their brain that causes this with them. People who were addicts that become sober or clean from drugs, usually make amends to the people they have hurt. They acknowledge their mistakes, grow from it like the rest of us do, but a person with a PD never does that.
Book~You really aren't wrong about the song, it's just the wording cuz you are right that in the song you can never leave. It's really a scary song when you think about it. I know I will never check in with a hotel by that name, Lol!!
Joan~I know the emotional hangover feeling as well. I am sending you cyber ((((HUGS)))) and hoping you are feeling better about the situation. When I first suspected my mother had Alz., I went to her dr. We then got together as a family and told our mother what we suspected. She blamed me for going to her dr. and making up lies about her. She told me to stay out of her life until I grew up. It was hurtful and I did stay away from her, I didn't call her, no contact. Of course, there is never an apology, but she ends up needing help with something, sickness, etc. where she starts calling again. If she did not have Alz, I would not have contact with her because it's safer and saner in the long run. I know it hurts deeply and triggers all those hurts from the past. The best you can do right now is love yourself, take care of you and know that we support you!!

RIZ~Welcome to the group!! I know how you feel about being shy commenting on people's posts. I struggle with that on different threads too. I have a certain amount of social anxiety and it is easier for me to comment here than in crowds of people. I do well one on one but when there are more people, I tend to be quiet. I am most comfortable on this thread because this is where I started. It will be a transition for you and your mother come Monday. You may not feel yourself relaxing right away, but it will come. It sounds like your mother will be very comfortable there which will make it easier for you knowing she being well cared for. It is great your husband is so supportive of you with your mother. Come back and let us know how you and mom are adjusting!!

I'm kinda the new kid on the block and sometimes feel shy of commenting on people's post. (((((( Emjo )))))). It's so hard when our mothers are so unkind. I know I always wanted to please my mother (probably more than was healthy) and wanted approval. Oh, I hope I can always be kind to my children and grandchildren. I noticed you don't use glutin or dairy. My husband has Celiac and is vegan. Geez, it's getting harder to be creative in the kitchen!

Book, I know all too well the emotional eating! Its hard, isn't it? I stopped at the Amish market yesterday on the way home from checking out a placement for my mom. Bad decision.... It's amazing how quickly baked goods disappear. I lost almost 60 pounds a couple years ago and hopefully mom will do well when we transfer her to a private care home on Monday and I can be less stressed.

I can really relate to the sibling issues. Yesterday was the first anniversary of my oldest brother's death and we had an ok relationship but his health was bad and he didn't help with mom. My other brother is in jail. I feel guilty but I don't want anything to do with him. He causes tension and discord without even trying! My husband has been so generous with my family. Helping take care of my mom when he comes home from work, 1 brother lived with us for 1 year, the other for 2 years- neither one contributing 1 penny or helping with mom. And now he has the financial burden for my mom. I'll try to work more hours but I feel like I owe him so much gratitude...

Emjo, I had mixed feelings when I read about your mother saying she never wanted to see you again. I wondered how I would feel if mine said it under the current circumstances. Would it hurt? Or would it be like getting a Get Out of Jail Free card? Probably both.

Is it common that narcissistic and borderline personalities have the need to be right? My mother will dig all the way back into my childhood to bring up something that happened to prove her point. I usually don't even argue with her about things that are not critically important, because she needs to be right all the time. There are some things that are sacred, though, and your mother crossed that line when she mentioned your son as proof of her rightness.

Sometimes I think we should call ourselves "adult children of sucky parents." The word dysfunction is too general.

Emjo - I'm eating No-No foods! I've been craving pizzas, lasagna, ice cream and Pickled radish. Yum! Yum! It sure goes down delicious but...Sigh.. I suffer afterwards. You have self-control. I'm tired of self-control so I'm pigging out as much as I can.

Eyemtink – I hope you enjoy your therapy. I enjoyed my 1st three. But it is very stressful for me because I’m with strangers and we bare our souls. It’s a good thing that I got used to doing that here on AC! Otherwise, I would have attended group #2 and would never have gone back. If you need to vent, you can vent here. Maybe someone experienced what you’re going thru and can give you advice.

Sharyn, Lildeb – so I got the “never check-out” wrong. I just remembered the person not being able to leave that hotel. Depressing song…

Jane – I hope you feel better. Hard when you’re dealing with 2 at one time.

Emjo – I’m sorry that you’re hurting from what your mom said. When I was in middle school, my mom gave me such Hatred in her eyes because I was a skinny sickly person. I can still remember where she gave me that Hatred in her eyes and How I Felt. I was shocked. Even though I knew our parents didn’t love us (actions speak louder than words), I just didn’t expect to see Hatred. After that, I learned to hardened my heart from her. I stopped trying to get her attention or please her. I started to learn to take care of myself and handle any sickness/pain/bleeding on my own…. I don’t know which is worse – the words (like you got) or the eyes (like I got.) Maybe either one is just as bad because it does hurt us to the core.

PS cmag - -those comments by your narcissistic MIL tell the story don't they?

Thanks John - I really feel that this is destructive to me. It is hard listening to all the complaints, but the personal attacks are worse. The last time I felt that was about a year ago when she dragged Gordie and his experience in hospital before he died into her one sided argument to try to prove her point. It seems that there are no holds barred, when she gets mad - anything can be said or done or dragged into the situation. And as much as I have detached to quite a point, there are somethings which still hurt, and also bring up past hurts, For a while she and my sister behaved as if they didn't know me when we were at University - walking past me in the street and not acknowledging my presence, after a summer of ranting and raving from which I finally fled. So nothing is new. I am not sure what I am going to do, but feel I have to do something,
(((((((jane)))))) seems like you and I are at similar points. Let us know what you figure out. For self-protection, boundaries are really needed dealing with these unhealthy people and situations. I guess I have to draw some tighter ones myself.
lildeb - rubber room is another term for padded cell - I think it means people can bounce off the walls
marg - I like cooking too - I find it calming - eating the results isn't bad either. I made a reasonably successful gluten- and dairy-free blueberry/raspberry pie the other day.
book and sharyn - what ARE you eating. I don't get heartburn much, but I do eat fairly carefully. (wheat and dairy allergies) That white stuff was nutriwhip, and after a couple of spoonfuls today when it didn't sit well, I washed it down the sink.
hugs to everyone - hope tomorrow is a better day

Joan, I'm sorry to hear about your emotional hangover. It does sound like the relationship with your mum has been pushed over the edge or should I say beyond the breaking point. You are in my prayers as you decide what to do about her emotional abuse.

Narcissistic people just don't get it. Like my MIL when my wife was talking to her about the miracle of her identical twin sister still being alive after her fight with ovarian cancer 11 years ago to which the MIL said "God healed her so that she could take care of me and I'm sure she enjoys being around me." No! She even says she misses her dead husband because he is no longer around to do things for her.

eyem -(((((hugs))))) hope the therapy helps - sounds like you have a real problem sibling there, and way too big a load. I hope you find some answers

I am suffering from an emotional hangover, I think. Today I had an upset stomach, nausea, and I think it was due to the exchange between mother and I. As much as I tried to laugh at it, having her tell me she never wanted to see me again did hurt. I have done the best I can to help her over the years, and it has cost me plenty of emotional pain, and I don't need more of that. I am not sure how to further protect myself. Some years ago she wrote nasty emails to my daughter who waited a while, then wrote her back, and told mother that if she ever wrote like that again to her, she would have nothing more to do with her. Mother was never nasty to her again. I am about ready to do that myself.however, I know I have to mean it.

Not great today, sick for about a week after helping both of my parents. When my dad becomes ill, my mom becomes mean, even more self-centered and turns on us. Somehow, I become the bad guy because I am helping. It is the same dysfunctional family we've had forever, but it gets to me more now as my world has become smaller and I'm getting older. I mean how much can you take?
I know I'll feel better in the future. I'm strong, but maybe this time, my body is really talking to me and things will be different. I hope so. I have to set some boundaries and I am not looking forward to it.

The last verses in Hotel California are:
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax, " said the night man,
"We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave! "
It is a dark song that I always thought was about maddness. I prefer "Take It Easy" and other songs by them.
Eyem~You've come to the right place to get support and just to vent! I hope the group therapy helps you. You will get lots of support and ideas from them. Keep us posted on how things are going for you.

I am looking forward to my group therapy tomorrow! It's not even elder care related. I have been on medical leave for 4 months now dealing with the depression that my situation has driven me to.
My less than involved sister lives 2000 miles away, in my Mother's house, and won't come help and won't let mom go home so I can have a break.
I'm not doing well at all.

Bookworm, I love that song Hotel California of course it can be a bit moody. Never been n would like to see it one day n New York n all their tall buildings. You sure you don't have Hotel Calif mixed up with the Roach Motel commercial? They can check in but can't check out? I think u r right about the acid in tomatoe n they say everyone's body is a bit different so if Bananas r not bother you then keep on eating them. Oh, bellpeps, pizza n garlic is a killer for me n chili is a nightmare. you dawg! you can chuck down fudge chocolate, man! I love my chocolate but it don't like me. ; (
Margeaux, you can only suggest to your mom n dad to eat a bit healthy but like u saw they chose to eat what they wanted. You did try to help them with healthy suggestions n I am Sorry u lost your dad due to a stroke. Your dear sister needs to be jaw flapping with the cousin instead of bothering you about it. I just cut her short n let her know u have something that has to be done n you talk to her later, bye. : ) Later wouldn't come unless you call her.

Emjo,

What on earth?? Lamb chops, pickled herring? After gallbladder surgery?
Yikes!! Yes, my dad did the same thing. He had colon cancer. He did have the gall bladder removed at some point. I used to try to encourage my mom to make him lighter, healthier foods. He also had high BP. But they insisted on eating pork, and other high fat food, which is a complete no, no especially for them! I wonder why my dad's BP, was apparently skyrocketing towards the end of his life. Even though he had the colon cancer, he had a stroke!

Well, I'm glad to hear that her emails have calmed down.

Your story about the whipped topping was too funny! Something like this happened to me when I was making a sauce. O.K., this is a good way to relieve stress also, cooking. Of course that's if you like to cook. I do!

Yes, I'm maintaining a safe distance from my sister. Two days ago, she started to ask me about our cousin (the one she lined up for possible babysitting of mom). She was asking me whether I'd spoken to my cousin, I said, "no." Then she went on to repeat the request to my cousin that she watch mom. But now my sister is saying, "I don't know whether I'll call her; I think she is too busy right now watching her grandkids." So you see, this is the 360 degree turn my sister loves to do! She says one thing, then concludes something else. Good thing the conversation was short.

Yes, I have to try not to allow this kind of thing to discourage me from going and checking up on mom.

O.K., have a wonderful day!

Much Love! Margeaux

Sharyn –I have no problems with tacos. But Coke, 7-Up, and Sprite triggers the heartburn. I have that Pepsi is okay for me. I’m not crazy about yogurt. I’ve been craving my fave ice cream Dreyers Neopolitan. I can eat that every night and drown it with chocolate fudge. Problem is that I’m skinny but now my upper thighs, hips, butt and stomach are ballooning! I’m becoming a Pear! Pear-shape is BAD. So, in order to satisfy –somewhat the craving for ice cream – I’m eating Yoplait yogurt. Problem is I’m lactose intolerant. But, I still keep eating it.
…..I hate that song Hotel California. Have you really listened to the words? You can check in but you can never check out. Awful place! I used to love that song until I really listened to it.

Lildeb – what you mentioned also upsets mine except for the coffee (caffeine) and peanut butter. Ha! I was wondering about the bananas! So, that too is a no-no, huh? What also affects me is Bell peppers or green pepper and garlic, pizza and lasagna. As for pizza and lasagna, I just pop Gas-X before I eat it. I think it’s the tomatoes in it that’s not good for acid reflux.

Jessie - I tried bumping my head on the wall. It doesn't help. I did at a time when I was suffering migraine headaces as a middle school teenager. Doctors said it was all in my head or that I was trying to gain my parents' attention. All the way up to college age - same thing - learned behavior from my mom (suffered headaches). So, I spent years suffering in silence. Crying made the headache worse. Light and sound made it worse. I covered the windows and sat in the middle of the bed tears running down while humming back and forth until I was so exhausted I fell on the bed. However way I fell, I stayed in that position and fell asleep..... I finally saw this ad for blind school. So, I wrote and said that I think I'm going blind slowly. I described the flashing lights, then the blind spot. The 2nd highest person of that school wrote to me with clippings on the different headaches. She was soooo angry. She couldn't believe that Modern Doctors were still doing that! It helped me so much - those clippings. I learned I was suffering from classic migraines and then did research on it to help avoid the triggers.... But, yeah, I tried banging my head in frustration while having the migraine. Last time I ever did that!

I need that rubber room seriously tonight. It has been quite a day. We had a brief meeting with our lawyer friend this morning, so Mom hit the Ativan. She has such dread dealing with people that it is her first response -- run to the bottle. After the lawyer was gone, she started talking about how we needed to clean the floors every day. I asked her if there was a mouse in her pocket. She got miffed after I told her that I wasn't a maid. She told me I was going to have to learn to be one. Then she added a good one: "You don't know how good you have it."

Now let's see. My marriage broke up and I left everything I owned in TX, because there was no room in her house for my things. I went from having friends to living in a house with hermits who don't even want to socialize with me. I can leave for a couple of hours at a time before I have to get back to do everything that needs doing -- medicine, meals, necessary house chores. And I do all this with no pay and have to cover my bills from what I sell online. (My bills are more than hers.)

Okay, I was ticked. She pushed that button. I told her that she had always had someone taking care of her -- her parents, my father, now me -- so not to go acting like she had lived this hard life. She was quite capable of cleaning the floors herself and it would be good for her to actually get up and do something.

Then I went back to normal. THAT drove her crazy. I think that often people grow old without first growing up. These are the people that send us to the rubber room. Sometimes I actually do bump my head on the wall. It doesn't help.

Emjo, rubber-room? You have to explain that one to me n I bet it is a dilly. I have been on here but other topic areas on the AD site. I am Glad to hear the session with the counselor helped n anything to do with Mother-nature always help me too. Just listen to the birds singing is a joy to me or looking up at the fluffy clouds. The mnl like the fluffy clouds too n she told me she wish she could just go up their n bounce around on top of the clouds. I understood what she meant n it does sound pretty cool too. Sorry to hear your non-dairy stuff went all over the place litterly. I would have been upset but at least u got to taste it n wear it. I had to throw u a little humor to help u on your way to the funny farm. : )
Bookworm, I didn't think about those pickle beets in my salad. Pickles, caffeen, fatty fried food, red sauce, penut butter n banana of course any citrus fruit or juices r my enemies. Active yogurt wasn't working for me so I switch to Yoplait yogurt n it has been pretty good to my tummy. ( I better go knock on some wood.)
Well, the mnl has went off to bed, Bookworm, I have my door lock please don't forget to lock yours as well. I got to go check my b/s n take my pm shot n I hope I sleep like a baby tonight. Here are some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz for everyone to have a good nite. ; )

We went to DMV this morning so mom could turn in her license and get a pic for the Ca. ID. We got there before they opened and stood in line. My mother walked over to the security guard explained why she was there and if he could let her go ahead of everyone else. He told her no. I had to giggle when she told this, I don't know if it was the PD or Alz that made her think she would have special circumstanes but I thought it was cute of her in a naive way to think she could go first. After we got inside, we were told their computers were down so the couldn't process anything to do with driver licenses. We left because mom didn't want to wait to see if the computers would come back up in a reasonable time. She still thinks DMV is going to take her car away so she cleaned out her trunk last night. Guess what was in her trunk...all the missing files she has accused my sis of stealing, LOL!! Mom calls my sister acussing her of putting the files in her trunk, my poor sister, I have to laugh, rubber room time!!! My sister told her "I don't have a key to your car so how would I put the files there." Sis said mom saw the logic in that, but she can't accept that she put them there herself. My sis will have to make an appointment with DMV to take mother there to get the Ca. ID and she can have my mother transfer ownership of the car to her. Putting the files in her trunk is dangerous since her trunk was broken into once before. She has no garage, it was converted to a familyroom years ago.
Book~Knowing that I shouldn't do it, but I did anyway, I ordered the tacos from Jack yesterday and I am paying for it today. Woke up sick to my stomach, too much acid, plus I drank a coke which is a no no too. I have only been drinking water today no food, I will have a light dinner. It's a hit and miss situation, sometimes I can eat something like the fried tacos with no problem, then other times I pay for it. Book, really...pickles and yogurt!! Reminds me of pickles and ice cream that a pregnant woman craves, LOL!!
I saw on line where you can get baby lullybys that is rock music, Hotel California by the Eagles, Iron Man by Black Sabbath, and I Want To Hold Your Hand by the Beatles...us baby boomers might want to get these lullyby versions to help us sleep, Lol!!

Emjo – I had to smile as I read how you don’t jump and ask how high to your mother.

As for my dad, he kept calling their doctor. Now, they no longer have a primary doctor. The doctor called and spoke to my sis. I need to bring both parents to the clinic to get a New primary doctor. Uhm…2 bedridden parents to the clinic? Mom on oxygen and constant suctioning which can fill up the canister in 1 hr? Really? So, now I have to figure out when to take her, make an appointment for private ambulance transportation and then go to the clinic for who knows how long. I have to do it soon since the meals-on-wheels called asking for mom’s stomach tube nutrient meal prescription and we need to replace her throat trache (discolored and appears to be close to cracking). So…I just really wished oldest sis can do all these. She’s not working. My 19yr old niece is not working so she can come over and babysit my father. But, my father told oldest sis that she has no authority over them – only me. Whatever!!

Sharyn – my acid reflux is acting up. And I’m the culprit. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been craving picked food and yogurt. Every time I eat the pickled food with the main meal, I have my reflux. With the yogurt, I just have really bad case of burping. I really had this under control until the cravings hit.

What is this with all of us caregivers? Everyone seems to be having insomnia. Remember how I tell you all that when my head hits the pillow, I’m knocked out? Ever since I drank that green tea 2 nights – I now struggle to sleep at night. I even wake up when my mom coughs. Well, it’s 829pm. Time to go. Later! And I hope you all had a good night’s sleep!

Sleep eludes me tonight, it's 3 am, my mom has been talking up a storm in her sleep, all the jiber-jabber coming into our room loud n clear! A moment of quiet, maybe I can get another hour in... Kimbee