The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

So how do I tell dad that I know how much he has been spending and he only has a little left until the next SSI check in June. His lady friend has been getting him to go out alot lately which is good but lunches and dinners out are eating into his money, litterlay. He lives right now $100 over his alotment and has had to borrow money every month. I cant afford to give him money. June is going to be very expensive for me as it is with medical and house expenses for me, I will be above my budget and I have a job! When I started this I told him he had a $20 a day per diem with his bills, spend wisley. Apparently he is thinking the wrong way lately. This was the same issue with mom, he spent more than he had trying to keep up with the family friends who had money to spend.
I give up vacations to maintain the house. I gave up going to a fancy wedding for a friends daughter because I cant afford to go even though other friends are going. I know when to say no. Apparently he does not. So do I tell him I'm watching your expenses and you have this much money left in your month? Heck, he already has our daughters car, 20% of my house, how much more do I have to give? It is like dealing with a child..... If I let him overdraft it will cost money he doesnt have, I have done that already and it didn't faze him in the least when I let him do it. I guess becasue he declared bankruptcy twice in the past he doesn't care? Trust me I DO! Do I let him sink? Caught in the middle again........ I handle multiple checking accounts for multiple organizations and my business and manage family members accounts. I think I know a little about finance. He has no clue because he gets bailed out every month.

Called landscaper Monday left voice mail should I find someone to do the earth work. He started in September then had to wait for gas line to be run to the house. Contractor screwed that one up as he thought the small town ease of getting that scheduled is the same as another subdivision he builds in. Wasn't the case, had to wait about a month from when he ordered it. So threw the landscape off.

Well when he started he left a mess dirt clods everywhere, wouldn't be able to mow the weeds even, not at all level. Landscaper, for the first time called me back!🌿 Said he would come this weekend to do dirt work and add topsoil. Nothing beyond that at this point, but I will put him on the spot to get date for sprinkler system and sod. Gardens can be done a bit at a time.

We will see. I will believe it when I see it. Trying not to get my hopes up. Fingers crossed.

Strange here. A high school graduation rescheduled/canceled? Nothing from school yet. First started only family screened would be allowed to attend. You can imagine the uproar. Was there threat of violence at the ceremony? Who knows. The world has gone freaking nuts!

TG... I'm in this situation with my mother... She can barely walk and doesn't have balance... I don't let her vacuum any more because of the cord... I'm afraid that she would trip over it... I do have her fold laundry clothes... if she desires... (mostly things sitting down). I sooooo know about the <non> patience we have... I can't say "no" very often because I feel so badly for her and I don't know how long I'll have her... It all scares me soooooo much... (this is the very short story)... but, I'm with you... God Bless you... us.... ❤️

(And, I'm pretty worn out... )

So dad offered to mow the lawn last week, kind of like 5 years ago when he moved in and he did it for 10 minutes.... "I dont like it", yeah neither did I growing up but I had to and then did his and moms lawn when I lived close to them for many years. Mom did the lawn for most of the years they lived in a town house. Fast forward 5 years and he asked today if I wanted him to mow the lawn when it dries up. Its been raining for like 2 months lately... "Not today, it is still very wet" I said. Anyhow, not too sure I want to have him do this as I have a few "hills" in the yard and they are tricky when I do them (leaning over to counterbalance). The man can barely walk across the room without holding on to something. So now I am supposed to say no? I guess he offered so he's off the hook. I would say brilliant as he asks the difficult things knowing I wont let him do it. So he offered he can say he tried. Its like the time my x SIL offered to do the lawn... apparently he was completely drunk and did $880. damage to the engine of my tractor.... Got him out of ever doing the lawn again.....
Dad can barely walk yet now he is trying to help. dosen't do the simple tasks like take the garbage out vacuum his rooms or clean....
I am trying to use nicer tone when I talk, trying to have dinners with conversation (generally no talking as it leads to stories).... the difficulty is changing my ways to accommodate others.
It is hard for me to change because I have become accustom to my way of living vs living with others who become accustom to me. After all it is my house. So I am trying to be the nicer gentler person...... He or my mother did raise me to do things on my own and not ask for much help. I will drop everything to help others but I like to do things on my own if I can. When has asks to do something that I like to do its not that I wont let him, it is I like it done a certain way. I would be happy for him to vaccum the rooms, or clean or take out the garbage. Yes I have asked. So I guess I have to take this as he is offering to help and I should be grateful.... Is this a start? Or am I being lulled in to a false sense of security?

Gershun, what about the brother who's the hospital main point of contact? Isn't he liaising with anyone about discharge plans?

I want to say good for you for standing up for your (ill) brother, addict or no; and I do think good for you; but I also want you to watch yourself. If the rest of your family has been pushed to the point where, essentially, they're past caring - well maybe they have a lower compassion fatigue threshold than you have, or maybe they really are selfish and callous (!), but they may have a point and I worry that maybe you're painting a target on your own back. Love him and support him, but for heaven's sake mind your boundaries.

Well my family is taking a side against me when it comes to my brother and what will happen to him when he is released. Where he'll live etc. I worry about him going back to the environment he was living in before his aneurysm.

My family is of the opinion that he is an adult and if he wants to live there we can't stop him. So let the cards fall where they may. True enough but they should at the very least recognize where my concern is coming from and not just discount it like it's not a valid point.

I truly have gotten to the point where the communication between myself and my family is either aggravating as blank or non existent. We are never all on the same page about anything. Why did I think this situation with my brother would be any different.

Moving forward I think I am just going to act like I don't have a family. I'll visit my brother and they can do what they like.

Its funny how much one thought one call can mean to a person. After speaking to my son I am a different person and I feel like a fool for even going there, for even posting.

I am already sensitive, and then this family thing really eats at me some times regardless of the therapy, I just dont understand how we got to this place. My nephew not speaking, the animosity the sabotage, the ignorance. Then I feel guilty and angry when I act on things like cleaning the halls, moping and sweeping and now I feel guilty and wrong for letting it go knowing how bitter I feel about how it really truly doesn't bother anyone but me. I dont think and I pray tell I wont ever get to the broken place I was when I first found this forum but sometimes I drift, I stay in prayer and sometimes I feel strong like a peacock and other days I feel like a pigeon. I wish I could get past letting other peoples demeanor effect me not most of the time but always.

Anyways I am feeling so much better and happy. I hope the rest of the week is lovely and stress free for everyone or close to it.

Rays of love to all.

Margeaux, Your friend is going through a stage of acceptance. I think she has to come to terms before she can let you in. She probably sees the truth in you and knows thats what she is going to get from you and she may not be ready for that yet. She'l come around and I bet my bottom dollar you will be right there for her when she does.

Golden you are in my heart and prayers. I meant to comment on your post, this being your first mothers day without your mom and your fathers birthday also. I can imagine the emotions that were spiralling around.

I can only say that since i joined aging care your main concern was your mother even in the mist of relocating after natural disaturous fires. That smile you saw on her face was for you. I dont believe in conincidences and its rare for me to see although my grand mother looked like she was smiling and it warmed my heart and spirt so strongly.

She is soaring, no pain no misery. You took excellent care of her and you can bet she knew she could count on you for that. I guarantee she knew and was not surprisedf when she moved to different facilities and had people checking on her and reporting to you. That smile was for you.

I hope you are in up in spirit. I know you are a trooper. Its in your soul :)!

Ms. Madge,

Thank you for your kind words about my gf, with breast cancer.
Unfortunately, she doesn't have real communication, nor are her own family members supportive of her. This is why I did get you might say extra concerned about her going through this. She has a husband, but I'm afraid that on the emotional side, he always seems to need more support from her, but doesn't seem to be supportive of her in her time of need.

The communication between us has become so stunted, and I know if I bring up especially funny things, or try to have light conversation, I have to walk on egg shells with her, for fear of coming off trite. Truth be told, I'm really out of things to say at the moment to her, so I'm taking a break, because it was beginning to stress me out.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Golden,

I just read your post about your having lost you mother five months ago.
I'd like to offer you my deepest condolences, even if it's all these months later.
You did your very best when it came to your mother's care. May her spirit soar very high!

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux

We all have our sets of challenges. I feel for those who have tough situations. My situation is just differences of opinion. Dad seems to enjoy just coming and going as he pleases with no responsibility, everyone will take care of him. He somewhat is telling me what he is doing lately but leaving out the details so I guess in his mind he isn't lying. Again I dont care what he does as long as he do sent come to me for more money at the end of the month. His lady friend is starting to get him to spend money he doesn't have. Going out for lunches now and shows. Oh well, when he runs out I guess he will be staying home because the bank of son will be closed. This month I have large dental bills, seems it all hit at once, root canal yesterday, last week a tooth broke right next to the root canal tooth which I had root canal yesterday and I see the oral surgeon today for an implant for the broken tooth then the periodontist next week for a gum issue. I go twice a year, its not like I let myself go. So after yesterday it is looking like out of pocket after insurance. Most likely will be 4 to 5 grand..... gee, I wonder who I can ask for money?
Last night I tried to talk to him over dinner, it is hard becasue his is just stories. No back and forth. After dinner while we are in cleanup mode he has to get his coffee made so we petty much have to leave the kitchen until he get done, he cant wait 10 minutes. We have been dealing with this dance for 5 years. I have asked him to wait but no avial. It these little things he does to try to get one up on us. We ask for doors to be open he closes them. It's like a dog pissing in the yard trying to mark his territory. I get tired of his little games. He knows exactly what will crawl under my skin yet he keeps doing it. I try to keep the smiling face. So I talk with my wife and we just deal with it.
Before you say boot him out, I cant, it is not going to happen. I just have to find ways of dealing with the day to day issues. I look at this way, yesterday he called me from wal Mart, I noticed "we" are low on toilet paper should I pick some up? Yes, I said. That is due to we keep it stored away and supply the rooms with it, he takes his out of the supply in the downstairs bath. He saw one roll left and he needed it for his bath room. I look at it this way, only took him 5 years to figure out he needs to contribute!

Now now I feel bad I'm seeing how I let negativity get a hold of me

I feel I feel like such a fool I just checked my voicemail and there's a message for my son wishing me a happy Mother's Day I just didn't see the numbers on the phone log anyway my apologies to my son

Gersh so sorry about this delimma. His choice. I am sure he is aware of all your concerns. Be strong and take care of yourself.

Hi Becky, well at least he called.Glad you had a good day.

I am looking forward to see my package though. This is one of the things I know about my son. He is forgetful and does not think about things sometimes until they are right under his nose. He had friends over a nice couple whom I met while I was there. Maybe the the moment passed and he just forgot. I know I felt and still feel a kinda way about it. But is all done and over with. Sometimes that blame, shame and guilt programing really digs in and I fall in the pit.

Everyone have a lovely day and Smile!!!

Rays of love to all.

DDduck thank you for your good wishes.

I am truly concerned for my brother. We have been estranged for many years due to his mental illness but now throw drug abuse into the mix and it's an even hairier situation.

I received communication from other brother today that they successfully removed the trachea tube but he failed the swallowing test. My brother really wants to go back to his old living situation when he is eventually discharged but I think that will be at his own demise if that should happen. Put an addict back to where they were using and you know what happens. But since I have no say what do I do. Other brother thinks it will be fine sending him back to his old home. I think it will be a death sentence.

I'm quite concerned and don't know what is going to happen.

Duck, Glad for you that Sham’s children had family with them yesterday. I know you fret over that kind of thing. My son called me just before 11:00 last night. Typical for him to spend all day on projects and remembering to call right at bedtime. I got flowers on Saturday. I’m sure my DIL is who sent them. I have to cut him some slack. He is getting his house ready to sell. The photographer is coming on Saturday to take photos. He’s done all of the work himself. He loves projects.

Mom called me yesterday morning. Brother took her out to her favorite brunch restaurant. Oh, you really missed it! Well, ok, but I honestly still didn't feel so great, glad you enjoyed it. I rested most of the day and did a few things to try and get myself organized. Called mom back in the evening, and she was again getting out of sorts. Not much of a Mother's Day, since brother dropped her off late morning. Keep in mind her friends had none of their kids show up; one's family was out of state, another one, her kids don't always come over on special days, maybe coming over at another day. They don't complain either. But she didn't get someone there for the entire day, so she wasn't happy. She started in a bit on the I'm so lonely, I never thought I'd be alone. Sorry to say, she laid the foundation for not many people wanting to be with her long term many years ago.
Called her tonight, and she's back in a sour mood. I started in saying how chilly it was and how I'd turned on the car heater on the way home from work. We ALWAYS have the heater on in MY car, what's so special about that? It's May? Then she saw someone on tv selling microfiber cloths. Why do you use those throwaway cloths, they don't clean (swiffers)! You just throw it away, too. You need microfiber! She'd opened a cabinet that supposedly she'd asked me to reorganize (nope, said she needed to do it, she'd handle it), and of course, stuff fell out, and it was all my fault. Then, the great sin, she didn't recall that I'd wished her a Happy Mother's Day. (I had phone on mute, yelling back and writing in my journal). She went into a tirade of how she'd not called the landscaper, she just didn't care (and I know she wants me to do it - not happening). She has so much going on, always something. She had to write a check for new plates or stickers for her car plates. So stressed. Not sue why she doesn't sell her car, but I'm staying out of it. She then started complaining about how she wished she'd never moved into her current condo (which is why I'm not saying a word about selling her car). She then had to tell me how my brother was going to optometrist today; he had already been to doctor, and dentist earlier in the month. See, he takes care of himself, he's organized. Plus HE takes care of me! Yeah, I get it. He's Mr. Wonderful, and nothing I do will ever be good enough. She was even complaining about lousy tv programs, lousy weather, doesn't like the pastor at her normal church - all of which I'm sure is my fault. Then she chided me for not talking. Excuse me? You bit my head off at the first mention I had about being chilly. Why would I want to engage with you? And it's never a conversation. She interrupts me or talks over me all the time. One time, I kept on talking. She said I was rude, and had interrupted her. No, I'd not finished, and then she said well what you were talking about was not important anyhow.
I'd heard that the company I work for is introducing an early retirement package. I was interested, but no thanks. I would be trading one full time job for another, as I'd be harassed to take care of Mom 24/7, moving back to her city, etc. Not happening. I actually have a couple of years before I could apply for Medicare anyhow, and I doubt the company is offering medical coverage. It's expensive as is right now with a full 40+ hour paycheck.
The kicker to Mother's Day is that my brother asked for suggestions, which I gave him, and then only signed his name on the card. I'm sure he's po'd that I didn't go there this weekend, but he's bailed on major holidays. Of course, when he bailed, it was all my fault. I must've said or done something that made him sick.
Twillie, and Heart2Heart - totally get where you're coming from. I watched someone on YouTube, and said something about how mothers' can calm you , if you're facing a problem, well most can. Sadly, not for me.
Hugs to all.

TG, there are a lot of pearls of wisdom to be found on this site.

It took me a long time get a proper perspective of my life, see some of the things I didnt know I didnt know. I think time and trials and people like the wonderful folk in this forum help us move and open our mind to different perspectives and growth.

I miss the past, for some of the most loving people I was bless to have in my life, part of me still mourns that part of my life. I am hopeful for new blessings of love, new chances to give it.

I hope everyone had a good Mother's Day.

I was very moved to tears when my aunt told me how she got all of Sham's children and husband, well all the family over there together and got a friend to write a poem ( a mothers letter to her children) and pink balloons and had everyone write a message and they later went out side a let them off. She said she could not finish reading the letter. I feel that Sham is in a good place, she is with her mother (my mother's sister) and my grandmother. Shams mother and I were very close. She was like my big sister. Taught me "a lot" of things some I never used thank goodness. I can go on and on. I miss them both and my mother dearly. I miss giving my mother even if she took it for granted and never really showed appreciation or acknowledgment.

Well I have to share that I was sad I didnt get a call or text from my son. I did from my DIL, and all my family. Part of this thing I go through is how I took for granted my the safety (in all aspects) of leaving my son with my mother taking it for granted that she was not piggy backing off my efforts and dedication to the famiuly same with my sister. Not leaving him physically but feeling safe leaing him with my mother while I went to school, work, OES functions and dances and parties.. I used to feel a certain way when he would send me my mother and my sister gift cards for a dinner at a resturant with no extra signinificance or honor on my part. So I know I am fragile and realize this low self esteem but I did take a loop, its not the first and probably not the last. I called, we spoke normally says a package was in the mail, did wish me a happy mothers day on answereing the phone. I know he is forgetful I used to remind him of his anniversary sometimes. Well it is, what it is. I love him and I know he loves me. I am a very lonely sad person so maybe more sensitive. But I never missed calling my mother for mothers day and buying her flowers for the house and yard no matter how I was feeling about her at the time. Missing that routine was sad also. I would buy her flowers to set up front garden a ritual. I didnt buy not one flower. All the old aunts and old sweet neighbors are gone. I will play around with planting up something in the front yard maybe an project for me and my mother I have to see.

Meanwhile, I have to do my physical with the WTC and its like an ongoing ritual of followups afterwards which will include this long overdue thyroid gland scan, and this gastroenterography study. Then surgical consult and finally surgery., I have this lung congestion which I havent had for a while. It scares me be so far its not so bad and now I know how to nip it in the bud before it gets ugly.(I hope)

My therapist told be to keep saying "I love you and I adore you" to myself.,

Golden I am glad you have a great outlet and got the melatonin dose in check.

Girl good luck with the cold turkey. I miss the cooking but not the stress. Whew!

Glad, I am happy for you.

Gersh, that stigma for drug addiction is a mean form of predjudice, I use to see it in with the addicts and the homeless, sad but true. Some people just need a hiarchy to feel good about themselves. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Sharyn, I hope you and baby and family are good.

Frazzeled you too!

Happy belated mothers day again to all.

Rays of love and wisdom to everyone.

Hoping yesterday was not stressful. We didn’t do much. Hubs just got back from Georgia for a 10 day visit. Dd and family just returned from North Dakota visiting her in laws.

I talked with my son Saturday and he seemed happy. He moves out the 15th of next month, will be living with 2-3 men he works with and they have some common interests. He will be closer to work which is a good thing.

My my brother has pt 3 times a week at his home plus exercises he can do on his own. He is adjusting.

My sister will be going to Kentucky to spend the 1st anniversary of her daughters death with her other daughter. It will be good for them to spend it together.

I did a bit of gardening, planting some annuals for more color. At least 2 of the irises will bloom this year.

glad, that is exciting about your son! Enjoy the visit.

I hope all the mothers out there had a wonderful Mothers Day. Wife and I spent the weekend opening the pool, made her breakfast (as usual as I do every day anyway), bought a couple new longe chairs for the pool area to replace the old ones. The chairs she uses and wanted. Went to a nice lunch (my wife recieved a nice rose from the restaurant we went to) and smoked some ribs for later when our daughter stopped by. She had a nice video chat with our other daughter. She really enjoyed her day.
Not to worry, I have pretty thick skin.
Just trying to "smile and wave" with dad. Conversations are all about him so I just "smile and wave"..... less stress that way......

Funy, he can tell stories about everyone else but you'd think he would say Happy Mothers Day to my wife.... nope! Because it would not be about him then....
Happy (belated) Mothers Day to all!

So, I’m cooking my Mothers Day dinner here, no surprise. Hubs is oblivious to the niceties of life, now the vows were said. But, basically a restful day. I’ve had to increase medication, doubled stomach meds, added Imodium 4X a day, since my internist hanged me out to dry with abruptly forcing me to stop my opioid pain medicine cold turkey. No assistance with Detox, no tapering, no other pain management offered, not at all within CDC recommendations. Aside from the lack of chronic pain relief, the physical withdrawal from the medicine I had taken responsibly and benefitted from, for over a decade, she neglected to even consider the interrelated effects on my IBSD and bile acid malabsorption. Battling dehydration still, but tweaking the meds to treat the gut diseases. I think I’m making progress on the diarrhea. Shame on that internist for doing such harm. I tell myself, another week under my belt until I can get into a new internist. Staying very quiet in the interim, lest I need a different prescription refill until I get established with a new internist. And no guarantee she will be any better fit, but has good reviews. Planning to call the rheumy I used to see when I lived here years ago, see if he will see me without a referral.
My requests for medical assistance for chronic arthritis and deteriorating joint from birth defect now totals five attempts. Don’t be surprised when this poison pen woman files a complaint at the state level and posts factual reviews about this horrific physician clinic. So over it!

My son called. I just had the best chat with him that I have had in years! Melts my heart, tears in my eyes. And they are going to come visit in a few weeks.😊

Twillie - I am sorry to hear about your standoff with mother. It's unfortunate but it's better you NOT contact her today. Chances are she will make it WORSE.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your husband and son. Please do something nice for yourself today.

My mom is angry at me and hasn’t called me since Easter when I went to visit her and take her out to dinner. Well let’s just say she was angry when I got there and started crazing making about how I don’t want to do anything for her and she should have just called SIL to take her to the store. So I turned on my heel and left and she hasn’t called me since. So here it is Mother’s Day and I’m feeling guilty like I need to go visit her (I did send a card) but the way she treats me I feel like she doesn’t even want me around. Is it because I set boundaries since her month at my home recovering from a fall? I’ve been working since March and it’s taking all my energy. On my feet for hours on concrete floors and I was struggling with pain so severe I could hardly walk. So I went to Orthopaedic who did xrays and ordered 6 weeks of physical therapy and put me on meds for MS. So it’s starting to make sense why I have so much pain in my back and leg. As a lot of you know I’ve been giving my all to care for my mom. The dysfunctional family dynamics makes it so challenging I just want to withdraw. There has been little joy in my life since my son died 6 years ago. If my mom could appreciate and love me and see me for what I am - a 60yo widow, struggling to survive and with my own health problems then we might have a decent relationship. Having been the scapegoated child (I have two brothers) hasn’t helped our relationship. And her continuing to treat me as her servant is not working for me. I just couldn’t bring myself to go all out for mother’s day for her when 1) she is not even speaking to me 2) I am in a lot of MS pain 3) I am sad that my husband and my son are dead. They would be taking me fishing for mother’s day. I miss them like crazy.
Happy Mother’s Day to all my friends on this site. 💐🌸🌷

Golden, thx for asking. Last I spoke on the public threads he was still critical. Since then he has stabilized. He still is unable to breathe on his own and has a tracheal breathing device in. They transferred him to the neurology ward but he isn't really progressing. The nurses don't say much and since I'm not the contact person most info comes from my other brother who doesn't communicate much. I deliberately chose to not be the contact person cause knowing how my family operates I would be doing it all just like with my mom. I don't have it in me to do that again.

My own observations when visiting my brother have to suffice and what I observe is a very sick, depressed man who doesn't seem to have any fight left in him and a hospital staff that treat him like a second class citizen because he is an addict.

I don't really know how to proceed or how to help him which is very frustrating. I brought him a book and some reading glasses last time I visited cause all he does is lay there otherwise. Whether he reads it or not, at least he has an option. It's sad.

I speak to him and tell him I love him and to keep on fighting. I don't know what else to do apart from that. Just pray for him.

Hi everyone... It's been a while that I came here and thank you Golden for asking how I am... You are so right about Narc's... and the older they are its like talking to a wall that sucks the life out of you. This whole mom cargiving 'experience' (15 years!!!) has depleted me to say the least... 'certain' mother's can suck your energy and your life away... And, here it is Mother's Day tomorrow... Well as usual, nothing is good enough.., I literally have kept my mother's life going (after her fall/hip surgery) and got her better (after not sleeping for at least a year... and, she is cantankerous as ever... What can I say...? Then she waits for the brothers/family members who don't visit to call and she glorifies them... same old stuff... only this time... I'm older... Hmmm...
God Bless all of you Always and have a Blessed Mothers Day 💐

Found out the Pain Management doc got the referral on May 2nd, faxed back to the internist, declined taking me. He doesn’t see people with chronic joint disease/arthritis pain. She knew, and didn’t return my calls to offer me jack chit, Plan B. Abandoned by my doc.
Called new internist, but no cancellations to get me in before my end of June appointment.
Monday, I’m going to call the rheumy I used to see 15 years ago when we used to live here, to see if he would take me without a referral.

Hi Golden and all. No, argh, the landscape has not yet begun, but the weeds are growing well, a bit of green, anyway.

Update on neighbor that had the ATV accident in mid-March. She is doing well, walking, has been in an excellent rehab hospital for the last six weeks or so. She is walking and feeding self, slated for discharge early June. The short term memory is sketchy, but sounds like a complete recovery for her.

Then I get so irritated with some around here. Many kids driving ATV's no helmets, feels like telling folks. Just saw one neighbor kid driving one with another neighbor kid being pulled with a rope on his skateboard. I am sure that all parents must have had discussions with their kids about the dangers with these vehicles after that accident! Or you would think so, anyway. Lots of ATV accidents in this country.

Heard about a chocolate tea this morning while out for coffee. A friend bought a box of it and gave me a bag to bring home to try tomorrow. No caffeine in it, herbal. It is chocolate rooibos, made by Numi. Anyone ever tried it? Numi has another chocolate tea too. Two of them. What the heck is a rooibos? Must Google.

Have great mom's day weekend all. Will see my kids next week.

The other chocolate tea is made with Pureh, what the heck is that?
From healthline:
Human and animal studies show that puerh tea extract may help enhance weight loss while also lowering both blood sugar and blood triglyceride levels.

Good grief which shall I try?

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/weight-loss-tea#section5