The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

ali thx I am finding the combo of low dose antid's with melatonin reduces fatigue and pain, which comes back if I overdo it. I know you don't have much luck with antids. The small dose of melatonin I am taking helps me to sleep sounder so far but still not long enough. I crash many afternoons for a good hour. Thank goodness for retirement.

gershun - I am sorry about your bro. Crying is normal and a good release and not at all about feeling sorry for oneself. Even if you did, that's OK. It is a very upsetting situation. ((((((hugs))))) Keep us updated, please. Your and bro are in my prayers.

Hope everyone or most of you anyway are having a good Easter weekend. I spent most of today trying to sort out my computer. I lost Office 365 somehow and thankfully got it back and working after reinstalling it several times. Hitman Pro disappeared too but one reinstall worked. One Drive is being a pain with image files so I think I will transfer some of my photos onto an external hard drive. In that process, I need to go through them sort them and remove duplicates. That's more than a few hours work.

Take care all. I hope you are treating yourselves. 😊

Gershun I am sorry.. my thoughts are with you and your brother

Golden, thx for asking. My brother is not doing well. I just got back from seeing him and he has taken another turn for the worse. They were supposed to insert a trachea tube today cause he keeps pulling his breathing tube out but he has yet another infection he is fighting off so that is being postponed.

I'm having a good bawl right now. I feel so helpless and sad. Not feeling sorry for myself. Just feeling very distraught about the whole situation.

Golden, the reason for "half the time" with melatonin is that I'm taking it as a sleep aid. If I'm plenty drowsy and will have no trouble getting to sleep, I may skip it, and I may fall asleep without even thinking to take it. I take it often, just not *every* evening.

Good evening folks. Hopefully this will be better than a driveby.

glad - thx - just have to go with the flow. Ts2 is unbelievable. It smells fishy to me Are you going there for Easter? Sounds like a distraction to me.

Gershun - I have been thinking of you and your situation. How is your bro and your blood pressure? For me there is some comfort in keeping a log and seeing that it is in a decent range. Hope bro is improving. My dd had low BP and high pulse most of her life.

trying -thx - unpredictable is the order of the day.

stacey - wow, just wow. You did it. I have shied away from a condo too. Your new purchase sounds perfect for you and hub. I think a 55 and older park is great. You will make lots of new friends. The greenbelt and the creek sound wonderful. Happy decorating!

girlsaylor - Hope your gut is feeling better. Sounds like you have been very active some days.

duck thx - a dr to evaluate your mum sounds good. and loving yourself is good. Your Thanksgiving trip sounds awesome. Keep that BP down!!! Can you get some PT for your leg pain? Feeling better thx.

tg -you can change what you want to, do what you want to. Resources or lack of the, include you and your wife's state of mind. and stress levels. If he requires 24/7 nursing care for years will you and your wife be up for that?? I too do not understand why you resist other options.

Sissisu - so glad you backed away from a fight with mom. I hang up when people start insulting me. Your mum sounds somewhat narcissistic - the extension of self thing. The effect of all that water under the bridge does not go away. Comparisons between offspring suck and I hate the P-A digs. My sis is a master at that. Sounds good to stay away.

cmag - nice you got more from your dad's estate. Hope your May trip goes well and you get some closure.

ali - wondering why you take the melatonin half the time. Am I missing something? Good sleep is so important. Glad the gabapentin is helping, Pain is very draining. I am not surprised relief of it helps you. Dd gets migraines and says she is wiped the day after. I found that with my worst days the last couple of months - if I had a pain free day after a bad one I was wiped too.

I spoke too soon. The melatonin is helping but not banishing all my woes. But rather than pain I will call it discomfort which is better than before. I am on a very low dose 1/4 of a 3 mg and will stay with it for a while. then up it if needed.

Dgd wanted to go shopping today but I declined. I need some down days from her young energy. I think I am starting to come back to life after the winter and with the help of the melatonin. I weathered the stove issue though I am not pleased that one burner has quit. It's glass top so replacement is not that easy. It looks like my appliances are failing just when I want to sell the house. So as well as a dishwasher I may need a new stove. The temp set/control doesn't work well either. I will call my friendly appliance tech and get his advice. The dishwasher is prob 20 years old so it definitely owes me nothing. . The stove is about 10 -11 yrs and the average they last is about 13! Hope the fridge holds up. Darn, will this never end?

Hope all are having a good Easter/holiday weekend. Don't overdo the chocolate. now! 🍫

My psych Rx'd a low dose of gabapentin to see if that helps some of my symptoms. It seems as benign a thing to try, and after two days of taking it I had a day with SO much more energy that it seems it had to be connected somehow.

I take melatonin half the time at night, just a half of a 3mg melt tablet usually. It seems to help me a lot because there were so many years of struggling to get a proper sleep schedule, and now I have one. But also, I think my job hours are possibly the best benefit for my sleep right now, because I can sleep until 8 or even 9 in the morning if I'm tired, and I'm getting in bed at 10-11, and this just works for me in a way that trying to get in bed earlier so I could get up earlier never did work well for me in the past. I can get a workout in at 10am before heading to work at 11am a few days a week. ALL of this is helping me, I'm sure.

Having chronic fatigue as a major symptom has helped me to understand there are very different kinds of "tired." When I've taken, for example, pain pills after a procedure in the past, I notice that I will have "more energy." It almost seems like blocking pain or nerves, for me, can be helpful with low energy issues. Now isn't that weird but it seems to be the case for me.

DDDuck, Good to see t out are getting some help with yo mom. I hope that it all works out.

a quick drive by - I will respond to posts soon. I have been reading and my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Having tried a few meds, the one so far that helps IS melatonin and I found scientific papers that confirm this for CFS and FM. Now to deal with dose and side effects. It is great to be without daily pain.

I feel so much better on it and have been able to be more active which is a good thing as 15 yr old granddaughter (dgd) going on 25 is looking to me for more contact and support. We are spending more time together, doing things like shopping, talking and she is doing a little work around the house for me (with guidance) for $$$. It's an all around win win. Of course it means I have to spend more time with my grandson too (dgs) to keep things fair. So I am working on that as well.

There is only a very small chunk of ice on the front lawn which is about normal for this time of year, and there has been lots of nice sunshine,

Life is looking up. Take care all and be good to you. In the words of the infamous Arnie "I'll be back!" 😊

Hi, I'm not around like I once was. I read now and then as well as respond sometimes.

We will intern my dad's ashes late in May over his parent's grave in his home town. We have had to wait for the winter ground to thaw since the end of last fall after his death.

More inheritance from my dad's estate came in the mail today. The items included a leather bound pocket copy of Thomas a Kempis The Imitation of Christ (which is a deep Christian classic devotional book) , his New Testament plus other things that included his college class ring from the 50's after WW II and high school ring from 1943. There was also a check from a refund after my dad's final taxes for last year.

I will be glad to get his ashes interned. It's been a long wait, but now there will be some closure.

Take care of yourself everyone and do something nice for yourself today.

Kinda, sorta "if I am interested" invite from ts2 for Easter. Oh and I can invite any of my kids that I want. UFFDA! Why won't she just provide the information I requested and actually required under the trust? Why the heck is it called a trust anyway?! None here.

Siss, I feel for you and understand where you are comming from. Upon joining, this forum, a lot of feedback I got was narcississm. I learned that my mother was a narcissist and did some reading that was suggested and learning about what I was actually dealing with helped me learn how to cope with my mother and my feelings. I am still a work in progress. I cant remember all but on that stands out was Melodie Beattie on utube.
Its a struggle. The ramifications are deep rooted. My mother's dementia has softened the incidents but its still there and as you mentioned about the water under the bridge its a huge history embedded in my heart and mind.

I wish you all the best in dealing with your mom. I think learning more about narcissism will help you through some of the rough moments.

Tgene, Barbs has given you pearls of wisdom, which she does so very well.

Barbs, thanks in so many ways for being you, and for caring enough to comment.

Update, I came home from work this morning and my mother was clean in some clean fresh clothes. My first thought was that APS got in touch with nephew and they set up appointment with him and twisted and they cleaned her up and presented a pretty smoke screen.

Well thank goodness that didnt happen. Mr. G. APS says he left message but will be contacting me for MD visit. Their concern is getting proper care and proper repairs in house YAY!!!!

So I am really happy, of course I didnt sleep today,. The case manager Mrs. J. called to enquire if I had picked up ensure and not to let it get mailed back because they cant resend it;. (my mother is getting a supply of ensure from meal on wheels.) Attempt to deliver failed on friday 8am morning before she was able to notify me to expect delivery. So during this reminder call she mentioned aps had called her about my mother case and meanwhile I see she is all fresh and clean and I could not rest my mind until I got in touch with Mr. Grant to find out what was going on. I feel as if this APS intervention is my last resort to get help for my mother and if this fails the fake tyranny, rejection, neglect and spiteful ness will not be checked and it will take something bad to happen to my mother and even then I dont think they will have a clue or really even care.

Then my Aunt called asking me to call and speak to Sham's (recently deceased cousin) second oldest daughter. She is on a train wreck path, been suspended and put out of three schools and now on 50 day suspension from present school.They were going to arrest her and two other girls for setting fire in bathroom. That means Child Protective Services and foster care which is not anice thing at all considering various types of abuse that happen in such places.

I am hoping that when I do speak with her that it will help get her on the right track. The father cant take any more days off from work. My aunt and her oldest sister who just had baby have been trying and it seems she cursing out teachers and anyone who crosses her path. She is 12 years old and the teacher were giving her a break knowing her mother had just passed on but no its getting crucial.

Girl, glad you had a quiet day.

Golden, hope you are feeling better.

Rays of love and light to all. Smile its contagious!!! Something we need to spread like butter!!!! :)

I am off for a few. Following up on medical things. God Bless you all and Keep you.

A not too dysfunctional day here. I’ll take it. Scrubbed the tile floor in the screened cat room. Amazing how tracked litter and dropped morsels of cat food can set up like glue on tile and grout. Will wash off ceiling fan and furniture tomorrow, hips and knees won’t let me stand any more. Had to conserve enough strength for dinner prep and cleanup.
It’s been very quiet, with my sons involved in their own lives. At least nobody wanted a piece of me today, lol.
Hope everybody gets some relaxation this evening. We all earned it, I’m sure.

The other day my Hubs and I were at a store and when we went to the checkout the cashier said "you two are funny" I guess she had heard us bickering. I said back to her, we argue about the stupidest things. She said "yeah, it's called a relationship" :)

TG, your dad is LONELY living with you. In a senior living setting, he'd have a ready made audience for his stories.

I think you are looking at this picture through the lens of Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

It seems to me that your wife is using those good marriage counseling tools-- good, honest communication skills-- to tell you that this situation no longer works for her. But you are putting your " commitment " to your dad above your commitment to her.

Be aware of what the consequences of your actions might be.

FYI, therapy is not for me, had to do it as a child (way too much water under that bridge to discuss) and then marriage counseling many years ago. Took 3 counselors to go through to find one who helped in 2 visits. The first one took sides, the second one had us fighting even more, the third one said "I cant fix you, you have to fix your selves, here are the tools".... and we did! That was over 20 years ago. We have been great ever since, not easy but it is us and we are very happy together. Marriage is hard work and we know it but we are in it together.

Thanks for the questions. No, I have not put dad on a list for senior housing. Can't do that. Some people can, I can't. As far as my SIL, it was a short term but long time dealing with it ramping up to her death then the aftermath of paperwork. I had 2 piles of paperwork on each side of my desk for a year with my SIL and my BILs medical estate issues.
I did make a commitment to my dad to take care of him, silly me, I thought my siblings would help as they said they would but alas, not.
I can't very well put dad in a facility when I have the resources here. Even if he were in an apartment in a senior complex he wouldn't take care of himself. Unless there was a staff of people to wait on him it wouldn't be a good picture. He doesn't do lonely well as the country song goes. He does get out for church committees and his lodge. His car is about ready to go and he has no money for another. I have my daughters car here she uses when she is home and my wife is adamant for him not to use it (it was her sisters given to our daughter). I guess I have to look for a used car now for him if his croaks this summer. Cant afford another car payment.
It is just when it is me and my wife it is nice here, when one person is in the house the tension rises, just the snippets of comments made at the most unopprotune time is frustrating. Just my b*tching.
I know I should do something about senior housing but I can't bring myself to it, The relationship[ would be severed. Like when he was in rehab I had to visit him daily and bring food and clothes, that is what it would be like and made so much worse that I would rather deal with it here. I will talk with my sister to see if he can go to her place for a month this summer. Maybe that would help. Need a a break after 5 years.

Well, it's been another rollercoaster couple of days. Talked with Mom yesterday afternoon, and she was in a terrific mood. Called her back in the evening (she had leftover takeout chicken she was warming up - all excited), and she didn't answer the phone. Finally called me back. Never thought she'd be alone, rotten supper. She only eats snacks (she has fridges full of food). I think she didn't make it to the restroom in time. We've gone over - go on a regular basis, even if you don't have to go, get Depends with more coverage, etc. She refuses. I don't know if she wants me around to diaper her, carry her to the restroom, do the cleanup, not sure. Basically, I'm a rotten daughter. She really wanted a big old fight. Nope. Phone went on mute and the volume went down to almost none. I sat writing in my journal furiously, but didn't say one word.
So I call her tonight. Two calls, no answer. She calls me back. Did you call twice? Yes. She has caller id, so I know it was fishing for something. She got some wash done today, but that was it. We go into her greatest hits again - never thought she'd be alone, rotten daughter, how dare I buy a house on my own without asking anyone's opinion (aka - her opinion), three bedrooms - what was I thinking? Then she said she wouldn't mention again about my needing to go to the dentist (this is the 100th last time she was mentioning it - at least). Ironically, she did not do a thing for my crooked teeth as a child, worrying about the cost. We had the funds, more than enough. She said she didn't know what to do or where to take me. Uh, neighbor kids had braces, so that's BS. A family who had virtually no money got braces for a classmate of mine. When I saw her beautiful teeth, and she made sure to say hi to me, right after high school, I wanted to crawl into the ground. Her family gave a damn about her. Mine, clearly did not. Mom also participated in many 'bucky beaver' jokes at my expense, which she now denies. But she did so much for me! She's tried to work on our relationship, doesn't know what's wrong with me!! What a laugh. She never asked me ever about my hopes and dreams, just told me to do this and do that. She quite frankly only saw her kids as objects, extensions of herself and not separate people. If you dared to like something different, she'd make fun of you. There's just so much water under the bridge, which she doesn't understand, because she thinks she was the best mother, hardest worker in the world. Yeah, she worked hard, but it was so everyone would give her praise. And she'd point that out to everyone, look how much I did in the yard! Just needed attention all the time. It was her castle, her way, no deviation allowed.
Now she's on a kick that she doesn't want my brother to have to walk in the rain (if it rains on Easter Sunday) to her house. He doesn't park in her driveway if I'm there. I'm like so you want me to leave before he gets there? Well.....
So you want me to come and do your housework but don't want me to go to church with you? Fine. I said I won't come. Problem solved. Radio silence. Then she went on a rant how she wouldn't allow a dirty car in her garage. "You have stuff all over your car". Yes, and most of it is cleaning supplies to clean up your messy house (didn't say that but that is what it is). Your car is always so dirty. I would always do my work before I'd play. Your brother keeps things so neat. Yeah, he's almost obsessive compulsive about being clean. Everything is done via passive aggressive digs - you're reading into stuff. Uh huh. Doubtful I'll be going there this weekend. She's really wanting a big old fight, and I don't care enough to drive there just to fight.

I think you should never set the bar unrealisticly high for yourself, especially when providing long term care for a loved one.

Don't put yourself in a position with your mindset that you'll feel like you have failed should you change your mind about what you can handle in the future.

Saying my father is here till he dies is doing that IMO.

TG how long did your sister in law live with you - a year? Two? And your wife's brother is in a nursing home and only requires arms length supervision, right? It shouldn't be tit for tat but in any case I can't see that the scales are in any way balanced - I think it is very unfair of you to compare the sacrifices you have made for your wife's family to her sacrifice in having your father dominate her home for decades.
Once upon a time you mentioned getting some therapy, what ever happened with that? Why do you feel so resigned to "As far as dad, yes I plan to have him here for the rest of his life so that may be a long time. Not sure I can change it now." Why are you so resistant to even considering any other options?

TG, you have never answered the question "have you put dad's name on waiting lists for supportive senior housing in your area?".

You father is a good candidate for Assisted Living. He can apply for Medicaid. I don't understand why you resist at least looking into this option.

Thank for the comments on dad. As for listening to my wife, I am not covering my ears, I keep them open. We are communicating every day. It is hard for her as it is hard for me. We took her sister in when she had brain cancer, I care for her brother half the way across the country as he is in a NH ( I do the calls and deal with the decisions for her). It is a partnership. She is very gracious on taking care of my family but it is straining. We get 2 hours every so often to be husband and wife with no one around. Having sounds and ears around is difficult becasue what ever we say or do gets commented on. I didn't think about what I was in for when I signed up. Of course siblings are not in sight.
As far as dad, yes I plan to have him here for the rest of his life so that may be a long time. Not sure I can change it now.
It is straining on me. On one hand I see friends with their parents and they seem to have a better grasp than I do. Other friends have similar issues. Not the place I wanted to be at this point.
Thank for listening......

To day, when I called a my friend T (we went to his church for Thanksgiving) his mother was in background, he is in his late 60,'s and his mother seems to have moved into a stage my mother was inway back with the accusations of stealing. He put her on the phone. She was not a joke at all. She was assualting him on the phone. It was sad to hear. Later as I was tell T just dont say anything, I can remmeber my cousin G who is passed on saying Just dont say nothing! And this was when I was a teen. Its so hard to be lied on even when you know its dementia. She went from him stilling her jewelry, to her flowers, to locking her closet. Then he says she was trying to fight him like a man. She almost started on my when I tried to defend him. Anyway before he used to have me laughing because she had a large appetite. when i complain that my mother was not eating. Well, now she is not eating at all.
Caregiving is not a job for the weak or cowards. I really felt for T because I know the pain of accusation but just to see that deterioration in the least bit tears at my heart.

So, I think this letting go spirit I am in is good. I hope I stay grounded here. I had moments where I was thinking I was a traiter with the APS issue. I new it was my post truamatic narcissist history, blame, guilt and shame. I found my way out of it and even as I thought this I was surprised at the thought. whew!! I know I am messed up.

Anyways I am not pushing the surgery issue right now although I am suspecting to be having surgery in May or June.

The groin pain and leg and knew pain was horrible on thurday. It I dont know if it was the barometric pressure but there was a thunderstorm threat and I wasnt the only one with increased pain. It was hard to just turn around in bed. I did look up some exercises. The knew was just hurting as I lay in bed. Hell, I dont know what I am going to do if i live to see my seventies, I am almost 60. But I see the groan is worse with a lot of sitting. I am also suspecting that having had to pull that gate shut in order to lock it also plays apart. Its working smoothly now. thank goodness.

And my pressure today was 135/85!!!! amazing. No wonder I was feeling good!!
I have started taking potassium pills. The coconut water contains depending on container 550 - 750mg potassium. I take cozaar and was warned to be careful of my potassium intake. Potassium levels too high or low can cause serious heart dysrrhythmias.

My son will be leaving Korea next June so I will be going again for Thanksgiving. That is the holiday I spend with them everyyear anyway.
I was in debate on if and when I would go as my funds were getting tight and low.But now I feel good to have made a decision. I was thinking to go for my birthday in september. I would love to get to Thailand on this last trip if I can.

Anyways that is basically my update. I hope this post found you all in better spirits and good health.

Today I met a man in train station with palms. I was like wow palm sunday here already. He gave me a few and then during train ride I learned he was organist for a church in neighborhood dying to get his car back and and a voice and music teacher. So now I am going to check him out on utube.

Rays of Love and Strength to all!! Smile!!!

Gershun, my prayers are with you, hang in there and dont forget to take care of yourself.

Stacey, its was so lovely hearing all the details about your new mobile home. Sounds wonderful. Also the nice furniture you and hubby picked out. I am so happy for you both. I would love to hear about your plans for landscape or plants around the house sounds like a lot of space.

Glad, I do miss hearing about your progress. looking forward to hear more about your landscaping also.

Ah!! Golden, your post really bought tears. I think the issue with narc parents and their victim children is that we become so attached. We are so programmed around them that it is hard to break that connection in any way. So I cry every dang time I see my mother go through a new stage any change I am sensitive to her every need and frustrated.

She was a major essence in you and your existence is shocking to not have to go to that process, the stress, the thoughts, the love and concern any longer.Part of narcissim I thing is that we have an adult who needs us because of who we are and programed us to meet that need.
You were on top of and all over her care and residences continually. You took good care and I am sure that deep down she knew and counted on that.

MY hear and prayers are with you Golden..

So the APS visit was not at all what I thought. I kind of felt like it may be useless. The bottom line was if my mother needs care then they will do what they can to see that she gets it. He also mentioned that it was clear that money was not an issue.

As far as the repairs and responsibities in the house he says they are not interested in what we say about each other or do.

They will be sending a doctor out to evaluate my mother and see if she needs care and go from there. He asked for my sisters number, I gave him my nephew's she is not in my phone. She is a narcissist and I dont have anymore ties to her.

This past saturday they had someone come and fix gate again. I guess it must have fallen in on her or something. It was not done properly in the first place. Anyways she come though as I am cooking plug long extention though window and goes upstairs. I look out and see man is fixing the gate door to entrance under the stoop. So this man is welding, blows the fuse in lhouse 4 times. Each time I have to let him in. Nephew came by earilier didnt speak nor I too him. Not to mention I am still twisted for being blamed for the gate falling in in first place. The ingnorance in being strong in wrong really irks me. So I felt like telling the man to call twisted from top floor and let him in each time fuse blew. But I didnt.

I know they are not going to answer any calls form APS. It was good to hear that they do not care what we say about one another becuase I dont know what my twisted says about me, (heard some) but what ever it is it makes people look at me like they hate me, or want to do something. She is a beautiful liar.

I am thinking that if this doctor finds my mother in need of better care or more care than she is getting and they do not answer their calls, then it will become legal. I hope it does, my mother needs better quailty of care than she is getting.

I was and at times still am very emotional. This is my only resort. If nothing is done thought this then maybe this is my mothers karma and I need to leave it alone. My debt will take years to pay off as the intersest is crazy and should be illegal. If I live to see it and am able to afford to rent or move, I will be "Audi" here. Maybe I will hit a lottery and can move me and my mother Lol. As I have said before I do not need to be in charge. I have been taking care of her in one way or another all my life. I have been her step stool, girl friday, maid, and scapegoat and my goodness there are times when I see myself post the narc trauma. I am trying to recover, to love my self and learn not to depend on her or anyone depending on my as love.

Gershun, thinking of you and your brother. Hang in there.
Hooray for you, Stacey! New digs are such a treat - and adding new furnishings makes all feel fresh and new.
I have learned over many years that our other halves need to feel accommodated when looking at new digs. The one doing the cooking is impressed with a nice kitchen, a shoe queen needs storage for her shoes, a man needs to House his fill-in-the-blank car, motorcycle, boat, workshop, whatever. Gotta love them!
Struggling with stomach flare, took additional meds for the IBS-D, meds for bile acid malabsorption. Many bathroom trips and much discomfort the last few days. Just have to get through it. I was able to make us gas house eggs and ham for dinner. Easy, as I keep breakfast meats cooked up, to microwave for quick protein breakfast and when I need something non-carb for blood sugar regulation. Bread was stale, so made good toast. The rest is now bread crumbs for meatloaf. Lol, despite stomach pain, why do I even think of food?!

Thanks Glad,
I know that unpacking is a bugger, and can really take some time to dig out. Just this morning Hubby and I went out and bought new furniture for our new family room, we found a gorgeous dark grey reclining sofa and loveseat set in the most scrumptious microfiber material that almost feels like velvet, so pretty! New lift-top coffee table and end table set too, plus 2 sadle top counter stools for kitchen island with teal leather tops and nickle nailhead trim. It feels good to spoil ourselves a bit after so many years of parental care, and finally it's all coming together, phew, it's OUR time once again!

I hope you are fairing allright in this recent snow storm, qhat a doozie, and that your new home is coming along beautifully too! Hugs Sweetie!

Stacey, wonderful to hear from you! I still have boxes to unpack. Going to visit kiddos this weekend.

And you found a place that sounds great and hubby can do his necessary puttering and maybe not get on your nerves.😬

Thank-you Trying my Best!

Hi All, just popping in with an update on my life, as we have been very busy getting our housing in order since we sold our house this past Feb 7th.

Oh what an incredible release and relief to have sold our house, put all our worldly possesions in storage, and be totally and completely free of any incumberences for the very first time in 35 years! We have been literally living out of a couple suitcases in my Fave Sister's attached MIL Apt, which has been great, and it has been the most Freeing feeling Ever, but it wasn't intended to be a permanent thing, and we knew it wouldn't last forever, LOL!

First up though, I have been reading and keeping up the forum, especially those of you that I have befriended and followed all these years, and I am wishing you all the best, even though I don't post all that often, know I am thinking of you!

So, after countless hours of housing research, following the market trends on Condo prices and all of the in and outs of contemplating this type of community living (ie; hallways, attached walls, stairs, sometimes only balconies and no yards for my Charlie pup), I was greatly concerned that my husband would not be happy not having at least a little garden to putter in, no close at hand garage or even a garden hose to wash the car and space to putter as he so desperately needs to feel alive, a Gorgeous Manufactured home came available in a park near our old house, and I approached the subject of a Manufactured home with my hubby to which he immediately replied "NO!".

However, We had gone to this mobile home park a couple of times over the years to their community Garage sales that they hold each summer, and this particular home ticked all of the boxes that we both felt might be a good fit for us in our retirement, but unfortunately as fast as it came on the market, it was gone in a blink.

This got us to thinking that a Mobile Home just might not be a bad idea for us, we could purchase one outright for cash with lots of principle from our house sale leftover to invest, and only be responsible for our space rent, which often (does) includes water, sewer and garbage in the price, and so I began seriously looking into it and found a really nice older but nicely remodeled home in a 55 and older park, with a beautiful pool and busy private senior community center to boot!

Well I really did my homework, we toured the home a few of times, and I spoke with several of the other "neighbors", and they all had great things to say about the place. So after much consideration and speaking with our kids, We bought it!

So we are now the Proud owners of a Mobile Home, and the deal closes on 4/16! The house is super cute, 1344 sq ft so a nice size for the 2 of us, very clean and tidy, it has a remodeled kitchen, a new roof, all new windows and doors, a sky light, 2 bed, 2 full bath with "garden tub", Lol, I did always want a big deep oval tub! There is a 10x16 fully finished and air conditioned shed, a 3 car tandem carport on one side, so room for my husband's Corvette (which has been at our Son's home. We thought we might have to sell it after having it 30 years as no place to permanently keep it, and on the other side is a great big covered deck (just like you Glad, you know I was so jealous of yours!), plus the house backs up against a greenbelt with a little creek running through it! So it ticks All our boxes, and We are really in Love with the place!

We Think we have gotten rid of just enough junk to fit into it quite nicely, and are very excited! It is well within our budget, and we will be able to save enough to have a weekend away each month or save up for a few nicer vacations each year, plus really enjoy ourselves without financial worries for the first time Ever!

So now we are in the process of buying and having all new carpet, and the bathrooms flooring replaced, and I've already bought all new curtains too. So begins decorating our new place, and we are so excited! Love to you all!

Take care Golden. There is much to process and feelings are so unpredictable.

Gershun- I am so sorry. I will keep him in my prayers.