The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Frazzeled I hope all is well/.

Sharyn how is your brother.

Sometimes when I am not caught up I kind of hold back on reaching out, but I do think of you all when I am not posting.

Rays of Love and Light to you all. Smile, Smile, its contagious. ((((HUGS)))) to all.

Hi all, really not much to catch up on since my last post. Where is everybody!

Girl, Golden, thanks for the support.

WEA I am happy you have the support and understanding with your husband and are a team of understand holding ground with the sibblings.

I am really tired and sad about the situation with my twisted and how she has manipulated whats left of what I thought was a family, apart.

But I am in a good place when I can see the big picture. When I can see its no use crying over or longing for love especially from the likes of my sister and now what I see of my nephew. At the very least I wont get half of what they give my mother which is not much of anything. I am seeing that my sister has started taking the time to feed my mother a little. Even though she doesnt have time to take off her coat to do it. I got up early and saw this but saw no more of her before I turned in around 6pm.

The approval for my MRI was canceled so I went there for nothing. Travel is 11/2 hour so I wasnt too happy. Because it turned into a wasted day where I could have slept late or did my usaual and have the next day free to relax. Anyways I called and they have made a new request and meanwhile I canceled appointnet I had with surgeon this week until after the test so we both know what is going on. The Gyn MD email him and says he may want to see me anyway.

Thank goodness the pain in my foot/hill is resolving and the groin pain in right side was getting really bad then Saturday I noticed it was gone. That pain was really bad at times causeing me to lose balance and cringe with pain. Made me think of possiblility of being diabled which is scary. But it went away then I noticed today as I got up just as bus was stopping for my stop that it came back as I braced and balanced myself as the bus stopped. So from now on I will remain seated until bus or train comes to a full stop.

Golden, sorry to hear about the house issues. I took robaxin a long while ago for a back injury. That and another pain med. Glad you watching side effects and interactions for you meds.

APS has not reached out as of yet. My anxiety remains. I am slowly getting my space together in case they want or need to see it. Lot of clutter but it doesnt represent the me who is somewhat happy and together. It represents the clutter saddness and frustration. I feel much better with each step i make in decluttering. Then I see other areas I have neglected. I would love to clean the windows and wash down the walls but right now that is the least of my worries.

Golden, warped floors? UFFDA! Hope I don't have to deal with that for a very long time. Now, it is mostly weed starting to populate. Need to call landscaper about getting started and when. Can't be too soon but the weather needs to settle a bit. We will have a few nice days, then cold and snow again. Some of our heaviest snows are in April.

Neighbor, I haven't had a update in almost a week. Talked with their contractor last Monday. Doc's had drilled one hole through the skull to drain excess fluid, then had to drill a second one. She has opened her eyes, but nothing there. I think of that family often and the difficult time they are all going through. The children, a almost 2 year old girl and 4 year old boy. It is absolutely heart breaking.

More nesting here, emptied six boxes yesterday, so much paper work! Now a box to take for shredding. Got mom's spice jars out to wash, rack ready to sand and paint, just needs to stay warm enough for a few days so the paint will cure properly. Mississippi pot roast in the crock pot for dinner tonight.😁

Linda - I am glad that the brace repair went well. Also glad that future work on brace or shoes will be with staff. I know that stuff from mum gets to be too much. Good for you going no contact for a while. You can only do so much about the lack of interest in food. Sorry your dh is experiencing BP/PD issues. That must be scary. Hope he settles into a new routine soon. I am so thankful to not have/have had that particular disease or Alz to cope with. Have some fun somewhere some time. We all need it,

Time to feel the feelings... I had a bit of panic this week which wasn't fun. The weather is nice and sunny, though still crisp and a little below freezing, but getting there.

The good news is that using Robaxin at night and a little melatonin once in a while seem to have gotten me more sleep, which has helped my aches and pains and energy levels. I am testing them carefully as I don't want a flare up, Usually my mornings are worse, and I am not much better than useless till the afternoon, but I dared to make a hair appointment for 9:15 am, Friday, made it there, and wasn't wiped for the rest of the day. Awesome! So, something has changed for the better. The melatonin made me quite drowsy one day, so I slept a lot, but I may need that for restoration, I am going to buy the very small dose 0.3 mg tablets Melatonin and play around with them. There are cautions about using it with the luvox I use for the fm, and I will discuss that with the pharmacist. Small doses occasionally should be OK.

The bad news and panic - grrr - is that some planks in my hardwood floor in the kitchen are warping, and as near as I can tell it is likely a small leak from the dishwasher. I pulled the fridge beside the dishwasher out and there was nothing wet, but the warping starts in line with the front of the dishwasher and seemed to get worse last time I used it. The d/w is at least 15 years old so it doesn't owe me anything. Likely the door seal is leaking. That means a new d/w which is ok. As I said, it doesn't owe me anything and in terms of house sale a new appliance is good. The worst part of it is that the kitchen flooring will have to be replaced. For the work and trouble to repair the amount of hardwood affected, a replacement is better. I was always nervous about hardwood in the kitchen anyway, so will go with tile this time, which will freshen it up. I have marble on the counters so have to be sure to pick a tile that isn't too busy, but don't want it too plain either to show every spot.

Sigh. Does it ever stop? I think I have some PTSD since the renos after the evac, re having workmen in the house for so long. It was awful. I totally panicked when I saw the floor. The ceiling in the room in the basement below is not showing any signs of a leak, but I won't use the d/w until I get a new one installed. R can tile the floors and he will replace the dishwasher and the U drain pipe (also leaking) in one of the upstairs bathrooms when he next comes. The floors can wait till we are sure there are no more leaks from the dishwasher or where ever.

Also, I think I have convinced him that the pantry drawer fronts and doors need redoing too. They are 10 years old and haven't worn well due to being not good material, so I want something better. Again it will help with house sale, I believe, I know kitchens are important for sales.

Here I am trying to get ahead in getting the house ready for sale and - more problems, more work. Ugh!

Well that's my whine for today. I hope that is the last of the major type repairs needed here. They all have involved water leaks which then caused other damage, needing dry wall and floor repairs. Hate it!

But I am going to have a good day anyway and get used to doing the dishes by hand AND wearing rubber gloves, so my skin doesn't get in a mess.

Be good to you, everyone. You deserve it.

Golden, thx for asking - the brace people were on the same page and added foam to take up the slack. They were really good to work with - expedited the repair so she wouldn't be without the brace very long. It fits snugly. They had to take it overnight but they were able to transfer her sans brace without injury. It was a trying session for me, as my mom was in a rare mood. I told the brace lady that any follow up with repair on her shoes or the braces needs to be with staff. I'm available by phone or email only. She's still not eating much. I've mentioned to a few staff people to bring her soup and crackers for her main meals - she likes soup and should eat that. My GERD's flaring again, so I'm going no contact till Easter, save for emergencies. My energy is going to DH's bp, which has been spiking later in the day - I nearly called 911 last night. We got it down and will change his med schedule today. It's like that with the "phases" - we have a day or two that's hairy until we create the new normal schedule. Will call his cardio tomorrow to discuss. PD can cause all kinds of different effects, like erratic bp.

Linda -how is your mum doing? and what happening with the brace?

glad - hope that lady is continuing to improve. Has your weather settled down? I suppose your dd2 is in her new home now. More roll overs??? Not good.

cw - the injuries with ATVs are so avoidable on the whole, IMO.

ali - I know the tiredness. If you have CFS then that is a big part of your life and you have to adjust your life around it. My life is hugely limited by it. ACV didn't help me - no easy fixes it seems. Would be nice. Caregiving may have been part of what brought you down - the constant stress. Getting enough sleep and rest is of paramount importance. ((((hugs)))) Hope you feel better soon. Eating properly is very important too - and supplements if you tend to be anemic. Robaxin at night helps my FM aches and pains and I sleep better too. I prefer it to the NSAIDS. A very little melatonin seems to help as well. Too much and I am drowsy in the daytime. I don't think tiredness is inevitable at your age. I had a full time job, 4 kids from 3 to 17 and a husband on shift work when I was your age. Tumeric is a good idea. The kind that is combined with pepper is best for absorption. Consistency is good!

girl - yes we all need hugs. ((((((hugs)))) to you. That's quite a variety of herbs. Nice to have helpful neighbours. Hope your gut is better. The mind gut connection is very real - stress for example affects the guts severely.. Also gut disease can affect our moods and depression via neurotransmitters, and by affecting our immune systems. Heating pads are great. Love mine.

gershun yes, great feeling for everything that leaves the house! Sorry you are low energy/borderline anemic. My dd suffers from that and the dizzies from standing up too quickly. When she was weightlifting it disappeared. Lethargy is the pits.

duck - so glad you biopsy was negative Yay!!! Moving through this. Any news from APS? The stress of waiting is hard. Your friends sound great. We all need them. The memories are mixed - some good many bad. I have to remember the bad ones to keep boundaries with my sis. Yes . love is what it is all about and sometimes we forget it includes loving ourselves.

WEA welcome sounds like many sibling stories we see here. Sibs want you to do all the work and make all the decisions so if anything goes wrong they can blame you, as well as not wanting to lift a finger because they don't care enough. Please first and foremost look after yourself. Lupus is a very serious disease. Set going there to whatever number of days a week you can manage, and still keep your health and sanity, and stick to that. You don't have to go every day - don't do it. Also with your fil - set some limits as to how many times you go there. The more you do the less others will do. It's human nature, I think. You have to have a tough skin when siblings criticize. I know it hurts when you are doing all the work and they are picking at you. Your job is very demanding. You need to keep yourself as well as possible. Please distinguish between your seniors' needs and wants. The wants can wait, the needs have to be looked after. Your sister has it good taking advantage. Who has POA and could put an end to the financial drain? It may be time to shoot those barrels anyway. Family needs to sit up and do their part. They won't if you keep doing it and don't say anything.. Have a good day and come back and vent any time.

Tired and frustrated. My mom
is able bodied now after a one year battle with breast cancer. I am a7 year survivor that also has Diybke lupus and the blessing of a loving husband otherwise none of what I will say here would have been possible. I was able to mentor my mother through her battle with cancer yes. My frustration comes having a sister that lives with her and uses her as a constant financial safety net because she allows it. Through the breast cancer it was as if I and my husband were the only ones who had any common sense! Despite having been through it and knowing some dangers signs during Chemo and after surgery you cannot know then all. But when something seems off call the doctor!! Why do you call me and then wait for me to tell you to do it??? If she’s not eating or not hydrating enough that’s serious!! Why let it go for days??? I’m trying my best to get there every day and call the days I can’t get there because I’m exhausted and trying to keep myself out of the hospital! I love very close but you live in the house with her for God’s sake! Why should I have to come EVERY DAY! You have church functions? Let them wait! I’m sure God will understand and appreciate it. If the committeees and whomever else don’t.... well you know where they can go! We have a responsibility to our mom first! I cannot do it all either!
Now I have a father in law that I love dearly. My dad has been gone since 01. He has my husband whom he adopted and 4 biological kids. We seem to do more living more than an hour away than they do! I can’t understand it. I don’t mind because he and my deceased mother in law raised my husband to be the man he is. Kind, loving, resourceful and very tenacious when it comes to family. But what I do mind is the siblings looking down their noses at us when we don’t do what they feel we should do when they beckon! Such as provide financial support for things when we are doing that for dad because one of you took advantage of him and never paid him back! Made sure he got his VA benefits because one of you who lives nearby couldn’t be bothered. I don’t need a thank you or anything else. The time with him is valuable to me/us because we love him! My dad is gone and one day you’ll wish you had taken the time to do things when he asks. When he’s gone he’s gone! My mother does not have to ask me twice for anything!
My last point, I manage a senior building and yes it may get frustrating to have to meet the needs of so many but I see so many just dumped and left. No one checks on them and when it’s their last hour they only have people like us to hold onto. My building is part AL and part IL and I serve both. So I’m a caretaker three times over! My husband is in the medical field so he is three times over as well. Plus he’s married to me so really four times over for him!
When these siblings of ours start their crap my husband and I leave them to themselves. We do what we can with what we have and if it isn’t good enough tough! No one has had the guts to say anything directly because I think they know what’s they have coming—both barrels loaded! We know more that they think we do but never say word. But if you keep smacking a hornets nest with a bat you know what will eventually happen. For now we are waiting and watching quietly...

Smiling here DDDuck! So glad the biopsy news was good!
We gotta get us all patched up!

I have to catch up. In the meanwhile I wish all of you the best in everyway possible.

In my funk, I find when I smile, something good comes back to me. The return smile is warming and uplifting.

So Smile, and be good to yourselves.

Awh, Golden, It must be so hard going though all those memories. Your mothers things. Seeing her thoughts on papers. I do so admire you strenght and resislience and goodness not to mention the wisdom. (that't to the three G's and a few more who I look up too and truly admire) Thanks for sharing and caring.

I am always learning something, one way or another on this forum.

I want to believe life is about love. That love keeps us going.

Hi All! Good News, Thank God!!. My biopsy was negative. I got the news last week Thursday after I reluctantly called and had doctor paged for the results. I will have further test this week of intestines and then with results surgery will be done.

So I have been very tired and exhuasted. I had week free except for a brunch date at the home of my friends, my prayer partner and his wife. I wasnt even up to cooking this week so now I have to buy out for my lunch and snacks.

I have not heard from APS and I guess its typical exnarcissistic post traumatic syndrome to start second guessing my decissions and wheter or not I am right in my stands to stop cleaning certain area except for the kitchen and bathroom. The halls are getting worse and I am very twisted that it only bothers me. The stress of waiting to hear from them and wondering what will happen is draining.

My mother has taken to taking off her socks. Her feet look terrible. I stopped a while back seeing the nails were to thick and it was out of my league to do and mentioned she needed referral to nephew who states that the doctor checks her feet each time and they are okay. (because I was doing them) So now I feel guilty that her feet are getting worse. I called and left message hoping next visit they can be evalualted. I cant get my mother to listen to me much less get her dress or cleand properly without help. My sister and nephew work as a team for the clueless work they do towards my mother's care. I dont have that or any say. So I am hoping a praying that the investigation shows the truth of situations and the needs.

Still got this pain in groan area right side like a torn or strained ligament. It halts me in motions sometimes and I see my vulnerability health wise and security wise becuase if I can't walk I cant work and I need to work;. So knowing how messed up I am mentally through programming and my life long attempts to deal with it I just see myself as always being alone and for that being normal to me. Coming to terms with this life time of blindness has strong consequences. Somedays I feel strong in my truth other days I second guess who I know I am which is sad. I need help in so many ways.

I am thankful for O and P the couple I had brunch with. I am always uplifted one way or another when we meet up. Always mostly with one or two other people with the same spirit and goodness. I was blessed meeting O. First person I ever prayed with about any issues and my goodness it work every time, something good happens for the better. He and his wife minister to the elderly. One whom I met at their house is a diabetic woman about 88. She has a sore on her foot and O went to take her a platter of food and I went along. He cleaned her foot and changed the bandage. Takes her food everyday. Thats the kind of things they have been doing for elderly since I have know them. They go to hospitals to visit. Anyways I am going to go on and on.

I have not caught up.

Ali, I hope you get that energy, I think the turmeric was a good move.

Girlsylor I am glad you finally got a diagnosis and hopefully treatement. Divierticulosis is not pleasant food get caught in the pockets and can sit and brew up stuff.

I am hoping they get to the bottom of my stuff. I am still taking laxatives and I feel like there is an intermittent blockage somewhere because I get constipated and lot and I have been taking stuff for more than four weeks .

Glad, you be safe in that bad weather, thanks for your concern . ((HUGS))

I hope everyone else is in good spirits and health. This week I see therapist, get recertified for the service by the psychiatrist for the program and I go for the test. I havent made jmuch progress in my rooom. Its frustrating. I just give into that not wanting to do it feeling very easily. Years ago I washed the windows changed the curtain, cleaned the blinds at the start fo spring. Now I dont care.

Rays of love to all.

I feel a little better today. Still so tired that I couldn't get up on time but eventually I went in to work for a bit.

A couple of things: I need to take my daily vitamins. I've been slacking on them ever since the move last year, not sure why, just got out of the routine of taking them. I feel better when I take them because it includes B complex and gingko and some other things to support mental alertness. Gershun, I should be adding in my iron supplement once in awhile, agree. I always tested borderline low iron when I was younger, and I had very low blood pressure readings for years though it's in the low-normal range now. I fainted a few times when I was younger. Green tea helps me a lot, I've noticed. I can have a couple of cups a day to help out.

Getting good sleep is important to me feeling rested and also for my mental health issues like anxiety. I haven't quite figured out the "magic pill" for good sleep yet but I go back and forth with melatonin and some other things.

I'm working on it. ☺️ I appreciate coming here to sound off because you guys get it. Sometimes I think being tired just is part of the deal of being a woman over 40, but I'd like to work on it and improve things if I can.

I saw a huge container of turmeric at the store today for $7 and I bought it. I don't know if this is science, exactly, but... The steroids made me feel really UP and it was pushing my inflammatory response down... I'm always taking ibuprofen and other NSAIDs because I have chronic aches and stiffness... Why not add turmeric to every dish and see if its anti-inflammatory properties help, too? Easy enough to do.

I dunno. I'm trying. I need to be consistent with this stuff because I think it would help some, and "helping some" is exactly what I need.

My husband lost a son to an ATV rollover accident. So tragic. I also lost someone that way, a preteen I babysat throughout my junior high and high school years. Just happens way too often.

Today is very rough, I have severe diverticula disease, pocketing all throughout the entire GI tract. A lot of pain today. No fever, just the usual. I’m on meds for the IBS-D and for my liver bile acid malabsorption, but since the last two aren’t causing me the D, (meds are working decently), I’m pretty sure it’s the diverticulosis that’s causing the pain.

Someday, hopefully, medical science will get the gut diseases figured out better. Too many of us suffer, told it is a mind-gut thing. Well, my liver malabsorption disease has been confirmed. The doctors who brushed me off for nearly six decades need to be remanded back to medical school, IMO.

Other than the pain, laying with heating pad on my stomach, it was sunny and warm today. Enough so, I dried a load of laundry outside.

Ali, sorry about your lethargy. I feel like that quite often. I am just on the border on the anemic scale and have very low blood pressure so often I feel weak and dizzy if I stand too quickly. Have you had your iron checked?

Golden isn't it so nice when you've cleared out junk. Such a good feeling.

A TV, roll overs. Happened to a man at work about six weeks ago. He was "exercising" the sheriff's A TV, quite well I guess, rolled it and broke six ribs. Other than that he was ok, but out of work for about four weeks.

Duck, any news?

Hope everybody is having some good moments this weekend. Hugs for those who need than. Don’t we all?!
Went to the corner shopping center parking lot to pick up fresh locally grown produce. Local farm produce operation drives down to southern GA/north FL weekly, runs a Produce stand at the local farmers market. They bring a produce truck to Southside Thurs-Sat, and have a strong business following here. So fresh, delish! Also bringing up beautiful plants, hanging baskets. I purchased several pots of herbs to plant a little herb garden. The mints will be potted up, being invasive little creatures. Got Culantro, some fluffy fringed, delicate dill variety, chocolate mint, basil, orange mint, garden mint, parsley, and more. Love the different mints and basils, just a nice bit of fragrance. Relaxes me to have a smelling session, lol.
Since it was a beautiful day, I dug up three long pressure treated 4X4s, just thrown in the backyard, discarded by the PO. Ah, fixer upper older homes. So much work. I don’t have a spud bar, but I have one of those long handle tools to turn water off at the street. Figured, I’m older, female, not too strong, so don’t have enough strength to bend or break. Pried those babies out of the ground. But alas, can’t lift them. The man across the street is doing a major roof tear off, replacing rotten wood underneath, has a dumpster out front. Asked if I might put three landscaping ties in his dumpster, no problem. But couldn’t lift them. Hubs not able to help. So put post on neighborhood social media site asking for help. I had two neighbors there within fifteen minutes! Wow, these are such good people here. Of course, the guys said they were so glad to get away from helping the wives man the neighborhood garage sale. Lol!
So, I’m tuckered out, sore from the hard work, but ready for jammies and a movie. Maybe plant herbs tomorrow.

Oh, just a little drive-by grumpy post, since I feel like I'm wearing out Whine thread.

I'm TIRED. I'm achingly, stunningly, depressingly tired. I think it's because I was sick for so long perhaps, and my body is still trying to get a small amount of clear fluid out of my lungs every day. I'm taking cough medicines - expectorant and suppressant - to manage symptoms and that's going ok.

A friend is having her birthday get together tonight, Saturday evening, starting around 9pm. I'd like to go. I think I'm just too miserably tired, though. I'm at work now, counting down the minutes until I can go home and get in bed. I feel like too many of my days are like this, where it's all about work and then falling into bed. That's ok most of the time but on a weekend when I want to do something else, it's readily apparent I just don't have any leftover energy to do fun stuff. Boo.

In a way, I miss the steroids in my system. I felt UP for a change!

A friend suggested that I start each day with some apple cider vinegar, said that it had helped increase his energy levels. Who knows if it will help but I started taking it. Something's got to give.

And this has nothing to do with caregiving but I think my caregiving years didn't help this. I keep thinking about things I was doing in the first year of caregiving and I know I'm not that person anymore. I just don't have the same "oomph" and that's ok. But I'd like some of the "oomph" back, please and thanks.

Tragedies like that are why they passed helmet laws for ATVs in Ontario (and elsewhere), there is still the problem of people getting crushed in rollovers though.

Neighbor is doing a bit better. Spoke with her FIL yesterday, she is now able to move the side of the body that she couldn't.

Spoke to a nurse friend last night. She said that having the respirator so soon is a good sign. Turns out the accident was last Friday, so just a week ago now. I think of them often, this is having more effect on me than I think it should. Or is that affect? I can never get those two straight.

Well, blizzard last week, pouring rain tonight, tornado warning and damage to a dairy northwest of here. Snowing south and east of here. Very strange weather patterns this year.

Dd2 was to close on their home yesterday and the new one. Their closing developed problems, so haven't closed on new one either. At least it is spring break so they have all week next week to get situated.

Golden, so they are cleaning out, like you, but now excited to get their stuff out of boxes that has been packed for a month.

My mom is eating better, depending on the day. I explained to the therapist who's been working with her that if they just give her soup at lunch and dinner, she'll probably eat it. She really likes soups. Her brace is really too big, since her muscle mass is less. The brace guy will assess it next week. It's a safety problem, since she needs to be steady enough for transfers. I'm really hoping they can modify it, rather than making a new brace--- it was quite a process 9 years ago. And who knows if the insurance company will authorize a new one. We'll see.

Spending some time today going through the remains of what we brought here from the NH.. This afternoon I am sorting some writings mother did when she was in the geri psych hospital. She said it helped her to write out what was on her mind. Holy smokes, she was quite out of touch with reality at times, including her comparison of me and my sis. Definitely some delusions there!!! However, she wrote a beautiful description of the old cemetery where my father is buried and where her ashes will be interred. I think I will type it up and give copies to anyone who comes. The rest will be burned. I found a 2 drawer filing cabinet that was mother's from over 4 years ago containing papers which no one needs. That will be one of the next things to go. I have 4 bags of clothing to go to the thrift shop - some mine, some mother's. And I have a feeling of accomplishment as one more container is emptied. I am so happy that nothing more will be brought into my house other than things I have ordered/bought for my own use. Yay!!!

cherokee - sorry about your husband. The smell of smoke is so nasty for non smokers. Sounds like he is having some dementia symptoms and making your life difficult.

sharyn - so good to hear the news of your bro. He is still making progress!!! Electric pressure cookers. are great! I have heard of ICU delirium. Being in ICU is very hard on people.

ali - hope you are still feeling better,

trying -so good to see you back. Sorry that mum and dad are declining, but I guess it is to be expected. More sorry that your sis is still in such denial. Taking a stand will be difficult,but your parents need more care. Staying unavailable f the system falls apart, is the right thing to do. Great about the new position -congratulations!!!, It will be so much better for you.

glad -so sorry to hear about the young couple -prayers. Keep us updated.

girlsaylor - you sure are keeping busy!!! A snake! Yikes!!!!! Prayers for the family near you too.

Hi susan - hope things are good with you.

duck - hoping for decent biopsy results. and the APS review. Deep breaths and deal with it when it happens. You get good marks for endurance too.

Linda - (((((hugs))))) sounds like your mum is declining. I am sure her body is tired and her mind too. I felt badly that mother was always so unhappy when many people would have appreciated all that she had. She used to see whatever was bad - not the good things. Please keep us updated.

Finally we are having some great weather and the snow is melting quickly. It's been a long time coming.

Take care all

I know it’s a long shot, but if I’m close to anybody in coastal GA, needing a little support, send up the flag.
Hope everybody is hanging in there today.
Linda, peace be with you during these difficult times.
My day was brightened again today. Living in such a wonderful neighborhood, we are very active on two social media groups. There is a young family here, two young children, one a toddler. The veteran father has severe heart, artery, and other issues that could not be handled locally, so was life-flighted to Emory a few weeks ago. Several very dangerous surgeries later, he finally came home, to gain strength, and wait for the next round of surgeries. Just found out his dialysis port is problematic, rushed back to the hospital. While we try to give the family space, we also are trying to help meet their needs, so the wife can be out of town with her husband. We have a neighbor who has organized a food train to allow us to take meals to the sitter and two young children. We also have a fabulous local cook/caterer, who is donating meal delivery for those who cannot cook and deliver, but want to purchase one of her dinners for the family. I sent a meal a couple of weeks ago. The caterer neighbor will swing by on her way to deliver another meal, to grab a gas card I picked up at a discount, knowing how much the extra gas can affect the budget. Just went through it with my hubs’ December hospitalizations and surgeries. We are all on standby, to support the family as their needs are made known to us, yet trying to keep the intrusions into their home at a minimum. The prognosis is not good for this veteran, and they have lost their medical benefits, when the wife had to quit her job and go per diem, to care for her family. Please, for those who are spiritual, prayers lifting them up will be so appreciated. For those who send well-wishes, please send this family strength.
thank you!

My mom continues the decline. She's not eating much, refuses help to feed her. She's losing the strength to wheel her chair very far, the weakness affects her ability to aid in transfer. I've been going over at lunch to encourage some hydration at least... I know it's a bit futile....her body is tired and she's been so unhappy. It's been a long journey, some good memories, some bad ones, much learning along the way. I feel....sort of sad. Mainly that she's been so unhappy when things were actually pretty nice.

tragic accident with a four wheeler about 7-10 days ago people out here buy those small vehicles for hunting and recreation, and but a blade to push snow. Very nice vehicles, neighbor bough two Polaris a few months ago. They were out riding them wife fell off somehow. Landed on her had and has now been in the hospital more than a week now. I just heard about this today.

Young couple, about the age of my kids, young children. She is not doing well. Really don't know much, but having difficulty. One side of her body is not moving, speech is very difficult for her. They removed her from the ventilator on Sunday. She is still hanging in there.

So terribly tragic turn for this couple with children. I will be saying prayers tonight.😢

OMG, I hate snakes and rodents! A couple of years back, I saw my three kitties in the screened lanai had something cornered. The two boys were letting my big black female do the work. She had a great big black snake cornered. I am ignorant as to how to identify snakes, petrified even of pictures of snakes. It was dusk, and I was afraid one of the cats would get bitten. Spouse picks up his favorite of the cats, runs back inside to safety, and watches me from inside the house. Dang, I hate when men can’t find their pair! I grabbed an empty cat litter bucket and chased that snake round the pool. He was probably five feet long. Managed to get him corned, scooped up into a bucket, ran out the screen door, threw him, bucket and all, across the yard, into a neighbor’s yard. Wanted him outa there, like now! Went back, scooped up the other small male cat, took him in the house, glared at the husband who couldn’t find his own pair! Mad! But, then remembered I had to check all the cats for possible bites. It was a rough night, for me. The other half just settled back down in front of the tv.

Duck, do you really feel it possible that mom or someone else placed the mice there?

I caught a mouse once years ago in a new house. I had heard the cat doing something in the unfinished basement. Went down to investigate and cat was curious over a rolled up rug on the floor. Stood the rug up a bit and out scampered the mouse. Caught it in one of those Leggs plastic containers and outside it went. The cat, a worthless one, was scared to death.😳

Hope news from doc tomorrow is good. I think they would have called to schedule an appointment if it is bad. So do not fret until you know you have something to fret over.

That she needs supervision. If not then I truly feel that there are some very negative forces at work in that house.

Thank you all for the prayer and support. I think thats why I felt like I saw some hope today and grabbed onto it. Did some work in my room which is another source of depression. And it seems that things are coming together and that maybe its all going to be for the good. I know prayer works.

I am always so grateful for this forum. It has helped me so much and I thank each and everyone of you for sharing and posting. These things may not seem like much but they are inspiring and motivational. Its empowering to hear good news after a storm. Survival. The endurance that I see so many go through so much and still post and help others in their exprience and wisdom.

Aslo I watched "Red Sparrow" The suspense was so good in a different kind of way that I was motivated into action! LOL.

Rays of love to you all.

A few days ago I didnt feel like posting. I have not gotten the biopsy results. I called friday with trepidation but they were not in. I will call tomarrow when I am off for a few days. I just didnt think I could take the excitement of bad or good news.

Besides that this APS investigation has me a nervous wreck, feeling guilty when I know I am not, feeling like it will be a big problem. Deep down I know its needed and feel strong but sometimes I fall into that guilt and blame tool that my sister and mother have used on me.

Saw nephew this weeik and asked him if he called anyone about the bathroom floor. AT first he played dumb like he didnt know what I was talking about even denied the two text messages. Then he says you can fix it. Then I say we can all chip in and get it fixed. He says he doesnt use it and he has already spend enough money. So that had me thinking he is using his money to pay bills which I really dont think so. But the times I check my mothers accounts they were the same no withdrawals that I notitced so if he is doing that then he got some serious issues going on because that is ludicris if he dosent even live there. His mother, my twisted is another story. Before I moved there we went to my daughter in law's grandmother funneral. I drove her car and on the way back I was like let me stop and let my mother get her dogfood and stuff because I would go with her and it was always a load for us to carry walking. Anyways at this point I was on unemployment and it was a deal for me to put gas in the car and return it like I got it. Anyways my mother needed money for dogfood and asked my sister and she said she didnt have any money and I had to turn around and look at her. I kept my mouth shut but wanted to say you live rent free work every day and cant give her something for dog food.

So the jist of my stuggle is that I am hoping they dont bamboozle those people and that they see though the lies and manipulation that I know is going to come forth. I pray if this happens that a way out opens for me because I dont know how much more I can take. This really eats me up. So much unfairness and I am always hoping for justice that sometimes I wonder if it really exists.

Meanwhile, Shams husband and family are haveing a hard time. He is reusing counseling. My aunt says he curses at the kids everyohter word. (Maybe more than ususal but certainly not new for him or sham) the kids says he doesnt cook the meats in fridge are freezer burned. And the Kids are fighting and arguing all the time. Here goes Ms fix it trying to make things right. But truth be told I just checked and a few bits of info I got from the American Cancer Society. I have called them before for my Aunt Mattie years ago and for Sham. They have good programs and services if one reaches out and put in some arm work. They are angry, sad and hurting. Dang I still have to wipe my eyes if I think too long because honestly sometimes I forget she has passed.

So I just get tired of posting this craziness even though it helps sometimes.

And then to top it off. Monday morning, I fed my mother and came on up to go to sleep. I heard my sister or some one go upstairs. And I am guessing she didnt go to work that she had gone out to get breakfast. I heard her walking around the ususal, I fell asleep. Came down to get my mothers meal and found two mice in the drain. Now at first I thought they were tea bags. Then egg plant gone bad and somehow ending up in the drain. It one you can remove and dump. so I am like do not touch it you dont know what your mother has in there. Sure enough when I dumped it in a plastic grocery bag it was two mice. What got my attention was a tail. Man!! that did something to my psyche. I have a hard enought time getting them off the trap without a performance of some kind depending on where my head is. This "F^34" me up in my head and my heart.
Becuase someone had to put them there. If it was my mother then that is stone cold proof