The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Appliances delivered, not yet installed. Have been packing a good part of the day. Needed the distraction to go check out the kitchen! Now back to packing.

Yep, criticize and not help...that is what I get too.... thank you Golden.
Ya know
I overused my foot when I was moving here. I had to move everything out from a two story townhouse by myself....and clean it. And then I had a lot more of that to do when we got here. I was hobbling around and in a lot of pain...When soaking my foot I found I had a bump on the arch of my foot on the long ligament there... the bump is called a "plantar fibroma." If there is no bump it might be plantar fascia . You can look online and see what you think. I went to my doctor and got referred to a foot specialist.
The x rays showed degenerative joint disease and erosion.... It got worse and the ankle and top of my foot started to swell. I got prescribed a "Richie Brace" by a foot Dr. and It did help me a lot....I still wear it off and on when I have to now but not every day. It doesn't hurt when I wear it. The bump went down after a month but is still there. I think the brace keeps my foot in a more normal position and stretches the ligament out. I had to get a mold made of my foot and then the brace was made from that. I hope you can find out what is going on with your foot, I know how painful it is to have to work with a bad foot. The brace I have fits inside my tennis shoe... I got a half size up pair of new balance shoes I found second hand...I made the other shoe even with a thick insole. These shoes are so good...I hope you can get some. God Bless
In keeping with the subject of dysfunction ...I will say that my brother has gotten weirder and weirder since we moved here. My mom thinks there is something wrong (more than usual) ...He has had big losses due to his drinking but still has a home and business- his business partner has always kept things going when he is not doing well....I don't know why he has changed his mind about signing off as joint tenant ..it isn't the money- I think he is trying to bully me. I am not sure what will happen and it is keeping me awake nights.

Margeaux, the rule is that care providers do not take the client in their car -ever-except, if you are to take them to the Dr visit - then - time is arranged for that based on how far away the Dr is and the time is all itemized ... The shopping is something else you are only supposed to do it by yourself and only at the closest grocery store too. It is good to make a list with brand of items and size and if they don't give you enough money just get the most important things and tell them they didn't give you enough money so you couldn't get everything. People will ask so be ready to tell them that it is not allowed. If you do something outside the rules and they fall or get hurt somehow... then they will blame you for it of course. Also the client may have dementia and overspend....it gets complicated with home health, The basic service they provide keeps food in the house ... clean clothes and a bath. Light house work like make the bed vacuum, mop, clean the bathroom for them ...a couple loads of wash.. just spread it out over the week and don't work yourself to death. Take a little time with them and watch a program they like or something fun once in a while ...but you are not there to do everything for them in the few hours you have ... it is just for basic help for them to be able to stay in their homes and not go to a nursing home. You are a kind good woman and deserve better treatment than that lady gave you - glad you aren't going back there.

needhope - You are welcome I am a believer too and my faith helps pull me through. I decided a long time ago I had to do what I believed was right and not worry about the others. I am doing this alone too. My sis will criticize but not help. Since your bro is drinking you probably can't count on him. Do keep coming back here. We understand. You are not the only one here going through this type of thing here. It isn't easy (((((hugs)))))

Gershun - I think that is not unusual in some families. My mother was somewhat of a go between too. I sure understand the feeling of having no family. I felt that way when my father died, I have a blood sister, but I have female friends who are more family to me than she is. I feel no obligation to visit with my sis. It only brings me grief.

cmag -wondering how things went for the service in Ohio

Margeaux - good to hear from you. Hope your foot is healing well.. Sounds like you are better off away from that job. As you say, there are plenty of others.

glad - you are doing so well!!! Soon you will be out of the rental and in your own home celebrating your accomplishment.

sharyn - hope you are feeling better from that cold.

R is coming up soon to get his stuff then dd can come in and do her thing. The more I can get done before the winter sets in the better. Thinking twice whether I dare do a trip down. I don't want to get sick again. I can't afford to.

Thank you for that Golden 23, I really appreciate what you said to me. I guess it is a resentment or jealousy that has separated us... I really feel sad about it. I am a believer and so I am finding some peace of mind in knowing I am doing what the Lord wants me to do by honoring my mother and caring for her. I guess I had thought that they would appreciate and love me for it instead of hating me. Maybe they hate me because I'm a believer and - they think- that - I think- I am better than them or something twisted like that ?? I don't know...the fact is I have always loved them both and tried to be there for them when they needed help .. but now when I need help, they are both like distant strangers .... I guess it is a rude awakening for me. Especially with my brother. I just have to keep going though and trust that the Lord will guide me through the days ahead. My sister lives 3000 miles away... When Mom dies I will have to make all the arrangements ....alone ....and deal with it.... alone.... and it is just sad. I feel like an only child. So thanks for listening to me and for understanding so well....

Margeaux, always good to hear from you!

I can't imagine $60.00 at the Dollar Store! You should not have problems finding another position. Some employers just expect magic.

Well the house is almost there, not cleaned yet like I thought it would be. Have spent a good part of the day packing. Still a bit in the kitchen to do, bedroom, and bath, bedding upstairs two bedrooms. Hopefully get that knocked out tomorrow.

Well I think I'd posted about the fact that I'd pulled some ligaments on my foot a little over a month ago, which has been on the mend. It's doing a lot better, however I still need to be careful with shoes I wear. Then because I was wearing one of those boots, I wasn't doing my normal walking I get in for exercise, so I noticed that this can through the alignment of the body off a bit.

Remember I also had posted that I'd started a job doing some caregiving for the IHSS program? Well, I worked for this woman, who had quite compromised walking. She has a lot of health issues. I was doing about 20 hrs. a week for her.
It was the usual cleaning, mopping, dusting, vacuuming. I thought I did o.k., given after about a week is when I had the foot injury. Had to take off two days, but went back to work, because didn't want to lose the job. Well, this lady doesn't like to do any kind of exercise, and she really needs to. She walks with a cane, but truth be told should probably use a walker.

Her daughter, who is her rep, since the lady is an immigrant handles everything.
When she interviewed me, she asked whether I had a car, and I said that I did.
She wanted for me to run errands. But then.....she also said that maybe I could take her mom shopping so that this could be her exercise, walking. Well what I didn't realize that this was to turn into quite a few trips to the 99 cent store, then her other shopping to grocery stores. One day she asked me to take her to a special Latino market which is further away in the next city. I told her I couldn't, since the brakes on my car needed to be replaced. I didn't want to go far in the car in that condition. Taking her local shopping was different. Well, the lady then tells her daughter that I'd told her I didn't want to take her shopping.

I had to talk to the daughter and straighten that out, which of course I didn't like.
I was very clear with this woman, but she went and told her daughter something entirely different to what was fact. I was still hobbling around w/my foot, I couldn't take my car to the mechanic who was across town.
The daughter ended up telling me, "Well, how are we going to get my mom to some doctor's appts. this week, etc." I raised the fact that I was aware that IHSS provides Access services to shuttle consumers to appointments, and that I was willing to accompany her mom if my car was in the shop.
Well, after that weekend I received a text from the daughter, and she canned me from this job.

I started to read up about the IHSS rules. Apparently, they only approve about one hour p/week for consumers to do their shopping. Well, this woman I worked for, went way over the limit. I also thought it was rather weird, that someone receiving IHSS.... was also able to spend $60.00 twice in a week at the dollar store, then another 50.00 at a local grocery store. Incidentally, her daughter is a social worker who works with the homeless population.

Oh well!!! As I told a friend of mine, "in this business there's no lack of work."

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

Glad,

What good news that you are moving into a new place.
I'm sure it's beautiful.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

CMagnum,

How are you doing? I recently read that you lost your father,
and I wanted to offer my condolences. I will offer up some meditations for you and your family. May his spirit soar high!

Much Love & Light! Margeaux

When my mom was alive she was the communication between the siblings and I. She related their news to me and my news to them. None of us really spoke. Now that she is gone I have no idea whats going on with my sibs most of the time. In fact, I sometimes feel like I have no family.

But when I consider what it's like when we are together it's like time has stood still. I've changed considerably since we were in our youth living together but you wouldn't know that by when we are together. So although I miss having family, I don't miss being treated like I'm fifteen.

I think I'm finally beginning to accept that family are people I meet who I become close with. It doesn't necessarily mean blood relations anymore. Once you accept that your blood relations are sometimes just other people in your life who you can visit with if you want but it shouldn't be mandatory especially if being around them causes strife, life tends to go a lot better.

glad -wow - just wow. It is happening!!! That is so awesome -so happy for you! And you got a great deal on those appliances. This is a busy but happy time!!!!

needhope -welcome - Oh my - a brother with a drinking problem, a sister with emotional problems and you are care giver for your mum, That's a lot. Lots of us here can identify with being the whipping boy, and also the caregiver.

Sounds to me you are more punished by their presence than by their silence. I have a sis who has criticized me and told stories about me from day one -all my life. I used to hope for a relatioship with her but it never worked out so I have gone very low contact.. Once mother has passed I will go no contact.

Enjoy the peace and keep firm boundaries like you have with your bro. Develop boundaries with your sis too e.g. once she starts ranting or accusing you will hang up. You can't change them, you can only change you.

It is sad when family members act like this but not rare. You need to protect yourself Often friends are better to us than family members. Spend your time with them and come back and let us know how you are doing. Having siblings like that makes the job of care-giving much harder.

Hoping I have this infection on the way out, The Tea Tree oil is doing the job. Yay!!!

My brother and sister have always been hard for me to deal with. Lately they are not talking to me at all. I feel abandoned on an island with Mom....
My sister has outrageous mood swings - takes things out on me, as if I am responsible for her happiness. When something would upset her she would call and take a demeaning tone and start to rant .... then if I didn't say the exact right things, or needed to get off the phone she would wind up screaming her head off at me and hanging up on me....I have felt like the whipping boy many many times ever since I can remember. My brother and sister have both stopped talking to me lately ... My brother said he was very angry with me for attacking his character ( I had told him not to come around if he had been drinking.) Now - neither one of them are talking to me at all, and they haven't been talking to Mom much either. (sad)
I feel abandoned by them ... and punished by their silence ...
Really it is more peaceful though. I still love and miss them - but not the drama.

Oh and appliances that have been on back order since Labor Day will be in on Saturday!

And if I were to order those same appliances today, $2,000.00 more than was paid!

Kind of self absorbed right now. Looks like closing will happen on Wednesday. Doors hung, door knobs on, cleaning the new house tomorrow. Gas line going in tomorrow, Improvement Location Certificate supposed to be done by Monday, maybe tomorrow. Paint front door tomorrow, It is almost there. I better catch up and get finished packing. Movers coming on Friday, next week. I am packing. Getting excited, nervous, excited, overwhelmed, excited.....

duck - concentrate getting your own place and getting your life back. For the most part when we are in dys fun fams we can't fix them. Hoping it will get better is natural, but...

Oh that note, I need to caution my niece that I strongly suspect that her mother (my sis) is putting off the house sale till spring 2020 on the advice of her (sis's) lawyer in order to strengthen her case. She did not give my niece much warning. Giving her 1 1/2 years gives niece ample time to make other arrangements. I don't think it has anything to do with kindness or consideration. Niece is still hoping for a restoration of their previous relationship, I think it was a scam from the start as it suited sis to keep her dd in her good books as she helped sis, Call me cynical, but normal people cannot turn feelings on and off like that,

And on an entirely different note and only very vaguely related to anything here, I had an interesting time with the gas person who came to check the furnace. She was a lovely young woman and we chatted about careers, the cold up here (she has to work outside sometimes and doesn't like it) and assorted other topics. She asked if I had kids here (wondering if she knew any of them) and then was surprised I had a 53 yr old dd. and that I was 81. This gal is 37 so there was no overlap with my kids. We talked about aging as she has serviced furnaces in some seniors places and says they can hardly do the stairs, I said I did some exercises and tried, within my limitations, to keep moving. Then came the classic statement "If I get old, I want to be like you". It was the "If" part that got me, I said "You will get old" and she looked at me with a degree of unbelief. Well, she will get old unless she gets hit by a bus or a serious terminal disease. Love it. My ex used to say "If I die". I am not sure he has gotten past that yet.

Still working on getting rid of this sinus infection. Trying a little tea tree oil. Something has to work!.. Mind you, I used to be on antibiotics for my sinuses several times a year for most of my adult life (which wrecked my gut bug balance) and I haven't had any of them for about 10 years now. I was also on sudafed continually for years and don't use it that much any more except once in an while as now. Could be worse. Something will work eventually.

Take care all. Have a good night.

Today my mother didnt eat much. She started eating the crackers my sister leaves the peanut butter orange cracker. Told me to throw the food away. also The dog had food undertable he hadnt touched. which was highly unsusally for him. He was in a corner and when ever I heat food for my mother I have to fuss him away. He is old but will limp his butt to whereever my mother is eating or sounds like she is eating.
I am sure tomarrow when I get off in the morning I will find my mother sedated again. Because she had just woke when I was leaveing didnt want to eat much and looked like she was in a pre rampage mode.

I know there is a life lesson/breakthrough for me as this unfolds, I just pray and hope I get it because I do not want to ever go through this BS again with or for anyone.

So I envision my self fixing up my new home or apartment away and happy.

Oh I must add that I left another note on fridge. to the effect of "feel free to heat up the meals for ma at anytime.
Thank you for refraining from taking meals.
Smear campaign and wrong do not prosper.

I really should have just left it alone. I am slowly learning not to respond. I dont know about the smear thing but just the fact that the oven was placed on the floor to me was spiteful. Its more likely that my mother would possibly smear it if it was on the floor initially.

I dont even want to drive my self crazy I just know there was malice involved and I just pray for true justice.

I am by far not an angel. and the worst thing I can do to myself is to become like my mother and sister.

So I know basically my mothers crazy moves when when she gets ballistic. She wraps dog do do in paper when she gets it up. the only smears I see is where she tries to wipe it off and that is on the floor. Never seen them else where. never seen her take or move microwave.\

so my pressure is back up. I am having flashbacks about my sister and her malicious sick mind. Even when my mother had some of her mentality, it was the same type of spiteful stuff. I had to fight my mind and heart not to do same in retaliation.

So if it just happened to be my mothers smear campagin then that should be proof enought that she needs help. Putting microwave in middel of floor?

My other synopsis is that the note i left on fridge was gone. which I know she didnt touch as iff to say she didnt read it. Now with the new developments with the door. The inablility to lock gate from outside, plus my request for the keys to the door upstairs. (*which I made copies from my mothers keys but dont know where I put them! so I asked for copies for locks so I can leave from upstairs and not leave the gate open.

When my mother eloped (got out ) upon my return to Korea. The upstairs door had been left open. Naturally it was my fault but I dont use that door. Family friend Aunt Jean says twisted tells her that she dont know how I got the key. This is how my mother had her on pedestal. Only you have the privilege to have key to upstairs$%**((()).

So I was going back and forth, shouled I just changed all the locks to the doors and gate upstairs. fix dowstaidr gate and let them come to me for the key.
Then its like this is all a game. A power game, a power competeiton. So I decided to stop trying to fix everything and make it my responibility and just leave it be. If Something happens and I have not access then I will just have to call the firedepartment to break in doors. I had to do that once when my mother locked me out in her dementia. She had the shovel braced to gate. I couldnt get in when I got off that morning. I kept calling knoci=king on window. I could here her and the dog.

When it was all done with. I told jean what happened and she says she was on the phone with my mother asking her what all the noise was and why prince was barking so much. My mother knew exactly what she was doing. and the evening before she had accused me of takeing something I cant even remember and this was the retaliation

I have so many flahbacks that just hoarrd my mind at times like these. I know there is nothing I can do. I try and leave it in Gods Hands, I have seen great outcome when I am able to do that. I feel that way in my heart but then one more thing happens and I start thinking ugly and I dont want to be that person. Meanwhile I feel, like the biggest fool.

I understand how some of the strongest wisest people on this post get around family and come away feeling like shiysta.

I am going to keep listening and learning to melody and everything else and stay in prayer and hope I live through this bull.

Rays of light love, peace, wisdom and grace to you all.

Hi all, I am not caught up.
Golden thanks, my pressure is still high. Yes I am learning a lot. Most of all it all started right here from you and others about the narcissism. I had no idea. Even in nursing school, in psych, I could not phanthom that concept. I have lived it and sometimes I want to cry when I learn the things I didnt know.

The door is still unlockable the irorn gate door under the stoop. I can lock from inside but it takes lifting and pulling and then the key may break. I find it open in the mornings when I get off.

Well today I found microwave in middle of kitchen floor. Acutually it was there also on Sunday when I left for work. I tend to ramble but every appliance I have bought since they turned off gas has at one time or another been found on the floor turned face down or side ways like demonic activity. I know its an expression. Tells me I did something right that pissed my twisted off.

Anyways when this past incident happened where my sister took three of my mothers meals I left a nice note stating to "please do not take ma's meals, you live rent free, no utilities, you tried like the devil to stop the service. Have some dignity about yourself." I was trulyt in WTF mode when I saw that the meals were taken, I saw with my own eyes, she bought them in and I left her putting them in fridge. I go get dressed. My things were ready. my purse packed so 10min at most and when I get downstairs meals are missing. No one else was around or came in.

Anyways, that note stayed on the fridge door now almost two weeks until today. And today I ignored the microwave. Noticed my mother was sleep deeply. So was the dog. WTF!! again. I didnt put it together. But when my mother does not eat she gets ballisitic and just does things. On Sunday she didnt want to eat much, I couldnt make her. Same on Monday and today. I guess my sister got tired and maybe snuck in some benadryl I dont know. I just know there are times when it is obvious she has been sedated. she was knocked out when I came in so did not eat the food I bought in. I was on the phone a few hours and went down and she was still asleep. dog too. (she gives him her food)

So I call my counselor social worker about this blame, the microwave, the door, the pipes venting.and I ask about the power of attorney and revoking the healthcare proxy. What she said does not look good at all.

So I return calls from the case manager on meals on wheels. We have talked before she states she does not understand if its denial or something else that my sister is refusing to get the care my mother obviously needs. She express that twisted says she is going to get this evaluation or something else done and does not follow through. And basically you have one person saying one thing and the other the oposite and if APS comes in they will see that someone is doing something and then case is closed. The mold is not in her living area. The saftey measure of locking her is keeping her safe and as long as someone says they are feeding her and taking care of her and taking her to doctor that its a closed deal.
She advised me to follow through with the lawyer in a few weeks and see what my options are and get back to her. she is like she doesnt understand and that it seems as if its going to take something really bad before anytheing is done for my mother.

So I got the drift. Not much I can do. Speak to lawayer dont get my hopes up.
Meanwhile I am debating on not addressing the microwave stunt. Just leave it in the middle of the floor.

My conscious makes me do the right thing. I had to use it anyway to heat of my mothers meal and I was tempted to do stupid and place it back like I had not even paid it any attention.

BUtttt....... when I move a small bag packed with my mother stuff. I see that something is smeared on top.

Low and behold its feces. Either like some on smeared it on or tried to wipe it off.

The latest fam dram is that sis decided to start sale and eviction, then a short while later and after some lawyer talk, has given her dd (my niece) a document saying she will leave it till spring 2020. Meanwhile sis and new hub are selling his house and moving south to England. He has a son there. As my niece says anything can happen in then next 1 1/2 years. Understandably she is pretty upset about it all though relieved about the latest development. I advised her that she and her hub get out of that arrangement ASAP and acquire their own place. Even with something on paper I don't trust my sister not to cause her dd trouble. I hope they get independent soon. If the new hub dies first my sis will be back being charming and dangling money to get her dd to look after her again. I told her to beware. Sigh!!! Families or rather dysfunctional families!!!

duck -you are getting there. Please watch your BP. Your family is not worth ruining your health. Melody Beattie is great!

stacey - Awesome!!! wow - I am very impressed. It does take a while to get over care giving, You and hub are a great team. I am so happy you are making this move. You will find the right place. It is a whole new phase of your life. Wonderful!!!

blackhole - I read somewhere you were in hospital???

glad - you moving too!!! Getting ready to move into your dream home. It must seem unreal! I get it was good having dd2 and grands there to help. Good luck with the window coverings. After the renos it took me over a year to get what I wanted. - just wooden venetian blinds but all the different sizes!!!

kimberly -welcome - sounds like too much yet that is what we deal with quite often with care giving. Think you are wise to restrict your bro. And the bank is uncooperative. You don't need that too. Haven't any advice -you sound very competent except look after yourself. I know that is not always easy.

sharyn - get well soon, so good that E has been approved for the state waiver. Glad your new home and community are working out.

fraz -update us when you can

Wiped tonight - had a heavy counseling session that got into some old stuff still no resolved. Had a dream about a little grey cat and could see it curled up in one of my chairs. Maybe this is what I will get. Sinuses are much better, guts somewhat. Getting old is no fun. Be good to yourself!

oh Stacey, now is your and your hubbys time. The next journey of your life together. You will find a condo that is just right for you and hubby. It’s good you are not in a hurry.

Yes, we love our home and community. Having the grandies here is the best! E was approved for the state waiver so they can go toward with additional therapies paid through the state.

Resting up the next couple days as I have a nasty cold, no energy. Take care everyone!

Ooo, Kimberley, that sounds like a hot mess. How did all this come about? Who's the co-guardian, one of your - er - "nearest and dearest"?

Im not doing, I live in another state not close to nursing home. I have spent 3 weeks on this visit, have arranged for sale of 3 properties, have sold 3 horses, have given a car that was promised to co-guardian, have changed locks on properties to be able to give keys to realtor for sale of properties. Have had very heated meeting with dad's lawyer and co-guardian, have signed requested documents to change co-guardian access to Dad's account. Bank account still frozen, can't pay nursing home, can't pay anyone. My employer is mad, not talking to me, because I have been off work a month now, although 2 weeks was vacation time, and today another meeting with co-guardian and lawyer this afternoon. I will not give co-guardian access to the money or the home place, as he brags about how he breaks into properties of my father's, before I changed locks, don't trust him. I cannot afford my own lawyer in a state where I do not live. Bank was sold 30 days ago to another local bank, bank will not accecpt new signed document showing the splitting of conservatorship of the guardianship portion of duties. Why so !!!! difficult????? This is in Iowa.

Stacey, great news on deciding it is time for a move! If you had sold sooner, prices would have been higher on what you will be buying too. I would guess it will come out roughly the same.

Duck, keep looking for a place of your own, you will find something. But, it sounds like you are still hesitant and trying to figure out a way to make your current situation work. It won't and you know it won't. You have long commute from the City to your place of employment, right? Why wouldn't you look closer to work? I have been to the City twice, how in the world do people live there? It is noisy and complete insanity! Prices are so terribly high. Maybe you will completely reinvent yourself.

DD2 and two granddaughters were here over the weekend. They helped me to move still packed boxes and organize for the move. All light fixtures have been installed. Will have to look to see what I can do about light color to tone down the blue. Great idea Golden! Time to think about window coverings.

Have a great day all!

Stacey - Marie Kondo would be proud! Forget what your house “could” have sold for last year (wouldda couldda sholdda) and stay focused on what’s ahead. Such an exciting - and unnerving! - time for you & hubby. You two have deserved to get what you want for a long, long time. And now it IS time. Yaaayyyy! Keep us in the loop. 😃

HI Everyone, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep, so I though I'd write a quick update! I have been reading along and trying to keep up with you all, and I wanted to let you know that I am really feeling for all of you who are still struggling, caring for your elderly parents and sometimes not necessarily dealing with good health yourselves while doing so, I know it can be so difficult at times!

It's been a year now since my FIL passed away, I can't believe how fast the year has flown by! We have finally listed our home for sale after thinking about doing so for 2 plus years now, it officially goes on the market this next Thursday! It is both exciting, sad and terrifying at the same time!

We have been in this (our second home purchase in our married life) house for 23 years, and are furiously getting it ready for the photographer to come in and take pictures for the online advertising and brochures, so cleaning and beautifying everything, so that it shows in the best possible light.

I guess hubby and I both work best under pressure, as we've cleared out closets and cupboards, made 2 full truck loads to the Goodwill, 2 trips to the dump, 2 truck loads of beauty bark, shampooed all 3 bedroom carpets, washed all the windows inside and out, made up the 2 bedrooms to look nice and cozy, All in the last 3 days, and we are pooped out! There is still much more cleaning (and clearing) to go, but the photographer doesn't come until Wednesday, so hopefully will get it all done in time!

The homes are still selling pretty quickly in our area, so fingers crossed that ours will as well, though I wish that we had pushed ourselves to sell last June or July as my husband had wanted, but it was me who was stalling, I just couldn't make up my mind, and I was not feeling well with that nagging gut pain problem, and still feeling a bit depressed, so I couldn't pull the trigger. Thank God My husband is a patient guy, and he allowed me to come to the decision in my own way, he has been as good as gold, and is such a hard worker! Housing prices have dropped off about 10 thousand dollars accross the board in the last 2 months, so it time to moving in this somewhat unstable (but still a sellars market) housing market!

We intend on selling up, cashing out and will live with our daughter and SIL for a little while (their suggestion!), until the perfect Condo comes available. It's not my perfect solution unfortunately as I hate to move twice, but I don't want to be forced into buying something unless it really feels right, and buying contingent on our home selling and then lining up the perfect purchase is an unlikely scenario, but I'll definitely be looking! I have been studying the buy/sell housing market in this area like a fiend for so long now, and feel like I could be a Realtor Specialist at this point! Lol! Thankfully there have been quite a few very nice Condo options available lately, so I'm Optimistic!

CMagnum, CWillie, thinking of you both during this difficult time, and hoping that things settled down and give you both time to grieve and to heal.

Golden, hope your Mom gets stable on her meds and is feeling better. You too Sweetie, I'm always thinking of you!

Glad, you Must be Super Excited, it Almost time to move into your new home, just in time for the holidays!

DDuck, sounds like you are moving in the right direction!, coming to grips with your dysfunction family, believe me, BTDT!

SharynM, hope you are enjoying your new place and your Grandies!

Fraz, praying that your Mom gets settled on her new meds and settles back down in her AL place!

Ugh, how I pray for you all going through all this tough stuff! It's very strange to be without having to worry every minute of my life, not having a parent first and foremost in my mind, and it's taken a year to grieve and finally feel like we can put ourselves first in life, it really is our time to make decisions based solely on our own happiness!

Oh Gershun.

Are you a fan of Peanuts, by any chance?

Think of Charlie Brown place-kicking that football. Yes, well. He never learns either. But is it wrong of him to keep trusting? Aren't faith and hope cardinal virtues?

The trouble is he actually *expects* things to be different, every time, and ends up flat on his back. Keep hoping, but don't swing at the football.

I watched Melody Beattie, and Pia Melody on utube. Melody B is 8hours and very informative. She has the narcissist program down to a tee.