notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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Inside granite in next week or two. Appliances on back order until October 29. I have a hunch contractor did not order them when I told him my choices. Have been waiting for a light fixture list for a couple of weeks. Carpet for bedrooms is two weeks out.
Contractor told me last week that the landscaper can start anytime. Then Friday contractor said natural gas connection is two weeks out. And they will have to bury across yard. Seems he should have thought of that sooner. Then he made a comment that they have to work too. Aaarrrggghhh. May scale back landscaping that was going to be done, part now then some in spring.
Golden, happy Thanksgiving! Snow is really pretty. I know we need some here to kill all these dang mosquitoes, but I do dread the cold. My kids though will be elated once the first snow comes.
Glad, how is everything at the house coming? I thought I read that the maple floors were done already. I bet they look pretty!
Sweet dreams, all. Still not much news here yet. Don't know if mom has seen the doc yet. I talked to the nurse, but she hasn't mentioned any med changes being made yet. Maybe doc still hasn't made rounds with it being the weekend. Mom still seemed anxious and tearful when I talked to her earlier. Part of it is she has mentioned several times wanting to come back and live with me once she gets out of the geri psych unit, which is just not possible, for both of our sanity. She's had a hard time lately with adjusting to being in a facility. I guess maybe it will take more time. I know it's hard for anyone, but especially hard when you have a broken brain. I just hope they can get her meds straightened out this time.
Sharyn, very happy for your bro's progress.
Glad, snow for you too! We are having cooler than normal temps. Rain, wind and lows in the high 30- low 40’s. We did have frost on Friday.
Im busier at work ordering supplies for the department, checking invoices against orders received. We order 3 x’s a week so it is on going and in addition to everything else needed to be done.
My brother was moved out of icu today! He still can’t use his arms and legs because of being in icu for 2 months. Intensive physical therapy should strengthen his legs and arms to normal.
I hope everyone who celebrated Thanksgiving, had a peaceful enjoyable day.
Good luck, gershun. I will be alone which is fine With family sometimes I nearly have to bite my tongue off. I have devotionals and do bible studies sometimes too. So true about the 3 fingers back at yourself.
More and more snow today, but I got out to do some errands. It all looks very pretty.
I called the priest at my dad's home church that we attended when we visited up there when I was a child. It was almost time for afternoon Mass which he said he would say a special prayer for my dad today and tomorrow.
Later today, my step-sister sent me a text that he had died peacefully. She told me that she really wished that I had called last night and talked with him. When I told her that I was lost for words she said several things that I could have said and then said that was ok. It is just not in her to say something like that's ok. I have heard of people being loss of words towards the end.
She's thinking of having a private memorial where he lives in the chapel at the cemetery on Friday, October 19th at 11 am, but she will have to check with the people at the chapel about that. She already has the same preacher lined up who did her mother's memorial service also.
Thus, the Memorial Mass will likely take place on the Saturday or Sunday of the following weekend. That gives everyone time to put it on their schedule and for my sons to prepare airplane tickets and care for pets while they come down.
It is 8pm. My wife and I are finally eating supper.
Thanks for everyone's support.
You know I was reading a Bible study lesson that I get e-mailed to me periodically and it shone a light on my own foibles. I shouldn't let myself get off scot free when it comes to disputes within the family. I don't ever want to be one of those people who points the finger at others without taking some of the blame. You know what they say about pointing fingers. There are three pointing back at you. So I will at least mind my own p's and q's so as not to hold myself higher than anyone else.
fraz - the path through diagnosis to treatment can be tortuous. Hope they find something that helps soon. I know it is hard waiting,
cmag - some good suggestions here. No doubt you need some help with your wife after surgery. I think your face book settings and usage were appropriate Glad you have support from cousins.
More snow here and it is staying for now. Warner temps next week should melt it. We were well below seasonal averages this past week. Still not completely over this bug but getting there, Feeling loss with my youngest son's birthday this week. He would have been 40. Hard to imagine and hard to believe that he has been gone over 16 years. Thankful I had him for 23 years.
Happy Thanksgiving to all Canadian AC'ers.
My cousin has already updated the priest about my dad. I am keeping his Godchild updated directly. She has plenty of brothers but she has chosen to adopt me as her brother.
I have run out of things to say to my dad which dad's Godchild said was her experience with both of her parents.
I have 50 some cousins on dad's side of the family. Now with families of their own, we are like a small army. I used to tell those who teased me about my last name to chill because I had 50 cousins who could easily deal with them. Only recently did I tell some of them that they were my protection while growing up.
Many kind thoughts for you at this difficult time.
When self-care becomes challenged because our time, thoughts, and heart are elsewhere, even the most simple things like reminders to take meds become necessary.
1) The senior center calls people with reminders.
2). The church can ask a person to call for reminders to you.
Since this will be temporarily needed, there should be no embarrassment that one needs help after being the strong person and helping others for so long.
There was a time in my life that when a friend called to remind me, she stayed on the line until I actually took the meds because I was so distracted. That was thankfully, very temporary.
Once you take the meds on schedule again, other pressing matters will become easier. It is never easy to lose a parent though. My sympathies. So glad you were able to speak with him.
I spoke with the nurse there this morning who said mom was a little calmer but still agitated and has a hard time sitting still and has been rocking back and forth (she normally does have some trouble, but lately has been worse than normal). Wanted to know if mom has ever been diagnosed with OCD, and I said not to my knowledge but I told her what the other geri psych hospital diagnosed her with, and they've assured me that the doctor will have her medical records from the previous geri psych visit since the facilities are owned by the same people.
I will learn more probably within the next few days once she is evaluated by the doctor there. I'm hoping they can get her stabilized on some meds that help her.
I agree with CM about getting an aide set up to help after your wife's surgery. It will help with a routine, and like she said, you can always cancel if you don't need it; but I'm thinking it will be good to have the extra help set up because you and your wife will both be tired.