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Becky, I am so very sorry for your loss. Words cannot express how sad it is to hear this news, after reading post after post of resilience and trials. I so admire your strength and I am hoping that you are surrounded by the same type of love and support you have given to loved ones and beloved. My prayers and heart are with you.
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Oh Becky. You and PJ were so good for each other. This is beyond sad. Keeping you in my thoughts. 🧡
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Oh Dear Becky my heart and prayers go out for you.
So very sorry, so very sorry. We all love you.
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Oh Becky... I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart is breaking for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
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Becky, I'm so sorry. Take care!
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Oh Becky I am stunned, and so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you all,and I am glad you have support at this time. How horrible for you all. Love you
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OMG Becky, I'm So Sorry to hear bout your husband's passing, life can be So unfair, and you have had your share of tragedies here of late. I'm glad you have that big family to lean on in the days to come. My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Take care. Stacey B
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Oh, Becky.... I'm really, really sorry, too, sweetie.....
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OhBecky, I am so very sorry, my words cannot express enough. I’m glad you family to help you through this.
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Oh dear Becky

so damn unfair, just so damn unfair

we are here to cry with you and hold you up
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Becky, I was shocked to read this. I’m so very sorry.
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Oh Becky I can not tell you how sorry I am having just been through a similar experience.
No words of comfort can bring PJ back but the time you had together sounded extremely happy.
You are a strong woman so take that strength and keep moving forward in his name. It sounds as though PJ's family will be there for you.
Much Love
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Becky, so sorry, what a shock!
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Happened this morning. All of his sons and grandchildren are here. I’m shell shocked.
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I'm so sorry for your loss and pain, Becky.
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Oh, Becky. How dreadful. I'm so very sorry.
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OMG Becky, how terrible - I'm so sorry.
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Becky, I'm so so sorry. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Becky, what, you mean just now, today? I'm so sorry - are you with people, do you have anyone supporting you?
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Oh Becky, I’m so very sorry about PJ. Many hugs. My thoughts and prayers with you.
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My husband, PJ died earlier. Had a massive heart attack.
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House wrapped with tyvek and Styrofoam in prep for stucco and drywall started. By the end of the week the house will almost be liveable.

Went to look at granite and tile oh, I am so confused😕
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Frazz, I’m so sorry you are going through all this. Golden and Ali’s suggestion re boundaries is great and I hope it helps you to set a balance for yourself.

Golden, I sure hope they can get your moms meds balanced for her. It is frustrating talking to a dr who doesn’t know the patients situation. Hopefully next time you talk with him he will be more prepared on your moms situation.

Glad, wow, good thing you know about all these buildings permits, codes and caught this error

drs have figured out that it is my brothers reaction to the meds that causes him to have what they are calling a seizure when they bring him out of sedation. They are working on tweaking the meds so hopefully that will be fixed in the next 24-48 hours.
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Thanks Golden and Ali. Very good points. I have definitely had to set boundaries with her to avoid going crazy.

Her problems are primarily mental and cognitive, but she has exhibited some Parkinson-like symptoms. When she first came to stay with me, she had a flat facial expression and was basically incoherent or "zoned out" sometimes, and had slowness of movement, and muscle spasms and stiffness.

She did have trouble with some basic tasks. We got her in back in March to see the neurologist, who thought that some of the symptoms may have been caused by the Invega (antipsychotic) med that she was on, and advised us to discontinue the antipsychotics for 6 months to see if symptoms abate. He said that is going to be the only way to distinguish whether it is med-induced or actual Parkinsons, which her father had around her age.

Cogentin was added to the mix and anxiety med dosage increased and she is much more lucid, still struggles with paranoia and anxiety and has some memory issues mentally, but physically I've noticed a big difference. She is able now to perform her ADLs and her gait and the muscle stiffness are better, although now I've noticed this weird dancing like movement in her legs when she is standing still, almost like when you have to pee, and she has kind of a gallop to her step that's hard to describe. Never seen that before. That has developed over the past maybe 4 months or so. We go back to the neuro in a month so I'm hoping he can tell what it is.

She does, however, get around pretty well with no problems. She has gone on outings with the facility and I've taken her to the store, out to eat, etc. She could definitely take the bus. I agree, she needs to stay as mobile as she can to stay as strong and independent as she can.

She, however, would have someone wait on her hand and foot if she could. That's where I have had to draw the line, or else I'd be running up and down all the time. Her insurance will pay for PT which I think would be good for her too, but she refuses.
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Frazzled, your mother needs to take advantage of the shuttle to stores imo. She has the means available to her to get her own things instead of relying on others (YOU), and it will be in line with keeping her as independent as possible for as long as possible -- which is best for her! She should be using the shuttles to get out and do her shopping. What is one hour out of a day when someone isn't working a job? Sorry, I haven't been reading the thread consistently lately, I don't know if she has mobility issues. If she doesn't, I hope you can find the words and the fortitude to push her to start doing her own shopping as much as possible.

In my experience, and as testified to many times over in these threads, nothing good comes of doing "everything" for the elder who can still do for themselves. I'm sure your mom's words will be hard to hear, and I'm sorry that she doesn't see the wisdom in doing for herself, but I do hope you can find a way to push her to do more. It's not JUST about you doing less, though that is helpful and will keep you from being overly resentful, it's about her keeping all of her skills tuned.
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This one?
Jeanne Robertson "Don't go rafting without a Baptist in the boat!"

LOL!
🚢
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Take a listen to humorist Jeanne Robertson on YouTube retell of a little boat ride through the Grand Canyon
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Glad, I have no clue. It was in a brochure we got. It could be a rowboat around a pond. Can’t amount to much in an hour 15 minutes. I’ll let you know.
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(((((frazz))))) you have some pretty frustrating things too They like playing the :"Nobody loves me" card. Narcs are totally self centered. You can never do enough or do it well enough. They want to be the center of your universe. My sis is a narc too and once after I became POA financial and medical, and had moved mother 3 times in that many years sis said to me "What have you ever done for mother?" I know that had been discussed between them - everything about me always was. You are right your mum doesn't appreciate anything. You just have to set your boundaries and stick to them Sounds like you need less contact. You have been going through a lot.-
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Having an error like that could really screw up closing! The bank will know the difference!
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