
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Golden, I think that the non-reading med pros happens often. I would be frustrated too.
Becky, a boat cruise in Colorado?! Where? I know of raft trips, but a cruise?
Ever since then, she has been wanting to call sis back, but we haven't yet. I don't think it's a good idea right now with the court mess still ongoing. I'm waiting for further input on the phone call/visit issue from mom's attorney.
On another note, went to see mom earlier and brought her pen needles for her insulin pens and some pajamas that I found of hers, but forgot the bottled water and paper towels she asked me to bring. Not a big deal, she still has some and I will see her again on Monday morning for an eye appt.
Well, she harped on that, and then asked if I had been able to find her another plastic mug since one of hers broke. I said that I hadn't, it just slipped my mind, have been busy with other things. I suggested that since the facility has a bus that goes on Tuesdays to Walmart, maybe she could start doing that. She said no, that she didn't want to do that because she has to wait an hour for the bus when they go, I guess to give everyone time to get what they need. I said, and yes, I was a little irritated, "What's the difference in you waiting an hour and me having to take an hour out of my day to go do it?" She said, "Do you not love me anymore?" Because I asked her to get her own stuff at WALMART!
I listed out the things I do, doctor's appts, store runs, paying bills, managing all her financial stuff (taxes, insurance), pharmacy runs, etc etc and said, "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't do any of this." I know, it just all went in one ear and out the other, but I swear she doesn't appreciate anything. It's always more, more, more. I finally just said I needed to go because I could feel my blood pressure rising and didn't want to yell, so I cut the visit short. Told her I'll be back on Monday.
Ugh, but I feel bad too for being grouchy and irritable. I just have days where I get so fed up with feeling like a servant to someone who is "all about me" and feeling stressed out because of it.
I have now officially joined the whine about NH's club
Slowly getting my gut sorted out. It is going to take a while, but I believe I am going in the right direction with my veggie/fruit etc diet. I ordered a kindle book on the subject to keep me on track, and I have to reduce stress as much as possible.
Meanwhile my thyroid is a little high, (so reducing stress is harder) which accounts for the energy spurts, but I am not sleeping well which is no good, so I will drink coffee with my thyroid pill which decreases absorption and should get my T4 back to a better level and I should be able to sleep more.
That's the plan anyway! All part of looking after me so I can do the things I have to.
Thinking of all of you, even the ones who don't post much anymore. Let us know how you are if you can.
dori - thinking of you and your mum especially at this time. ((((((hugs))))))
sharyn - such a roller coaster ride with your bro. It is a very complex procedure - not just the surgery, but the recovery phases. Your sil is going through a very difficult time. Prayers for your bro to get through this phase successful and for rest and peace for family. You must be relieved he is responding.
Becky -so glad you are going to CS. Have a wonderful time!
(((((((Beth))))) what a terrible situation! Let us know how you are.
duck - glad you are moving on getting POA/better support for your mother. She will need more and more as the disease progresses. And so glad you are going to therapy and getting medical help. Good luck with the bugs. I have to tackle new ant hills in the lawn here.
stacey - so good to hear from you!!! I just got rid of my Foreman grill. Haven't used it. I have a few cans of Comet that I don't use any more so they need to go and so on. I was shocked at how much cleaning material I have - don't need that much variety, T am not surprised that you still are dealing with the fall out from looking after fil. These experiences change us forever, Yes, all those things are connected. I have changed my diet to promote better gut health (no meats for now and lots of veggies. fruit, nuts, legumes and some grains/seeds) and that has helped my CFS/FM sx. The BC smoke has been bad here too and worse around E'ton. Take care of you, stace
((((((hugs))))) to everyone.
My sil is not sleeping or eating. She won’t leave the hospital. It’s understandable she is negative about the progress at this time. I hope she can rest, not collapse at some point.
Sharyn, how is bro doing?
good thoughts for your brother's recovery - he's a brave man
Glad, your house seems to be going up So fast, thought probably not as fast as you desire. It sounds beautiful and I can't wait to hear about it as it comes along!
Dduck, wise words from Bookluver! Sounds like your Mom needs more care then is safe, glad you are working towards seeing to her health and safely! You be sure to take care of you too!
Golden, Hi! Like you, I've been clearing out kitchen cupboards, Ugh, we have So much, appliances we Rarely use and can certainly do without! There is No way we could ever bring this much unnecessary STUFF to a Condo, and things are ramping up here, for a move in that direction. I can't believe it's almost been a year since my FIL passed away, and I'm still dealing with some weird depression, some FM sx, and lack of motivation (probably all connected)! Otherwise, things are going fine here with me and mine! Hope you are fairing well!
On a different note, we are inundated with smoke from the BC fires! We get that here in August, but this year is the worst in a very long time! Hope the fires near you are well under control! Poor California, they are in a bad way too! Prayers all around!
To everyone else new and old timers, my thoughts are with you as you navigate your family troubles. This site/thread helped me immensely during my time in the care of my Narcissistic FIL. He's been gone now nearly a year, but it's taken all of this time to recover from the dysfunction, still working on it! It just takes time! Thinking of you all!
Glad, happy to hear the windows are in and stucco to begin soon. October is a good time to move in, not too hot or too cold.
Becky, I hope you go to Colorado Springs. It will be good for you.
My brother is still in a sleep state. They are bringing him out of it slowly because he stresses and tried to pull out the ventilator and IV. His brain tells him he needs to breathe harder like he did before surgery and he doesn’t need to now. He is using his lungs with just minimal support from the machine. The drs say it can take some people a little longer to come out of sedation with all the different medications and begin to just breath naturally.
Book, as far as I know my sister has only a health care proxy. I got email that I should be hearing from the lawyer about my request for information and referral to obtain power of attorney.
I do not want to take my sister to court. I have been avoiding addressing all of this. Thank you all for the feed back and comments, it is helping so much.
Therapy in the am, talk about this and other issues, will request meds. Then pick up package for pestcontrol, do damage control in fridge the parts are in and the service for seals on door is scheduled for thursday. Its next week I see wtc medical doctor for another round of referrals. Finally feeling better from an ugly stomach virus.
Happy I made it through my work week without anymore heavy drama.
Have a lovely next few days. I am off for a minute. I do get on the lap everynow and then. I know I will be busy trying to do stuff. If these products I ordered dont work I will have to sacrifice and get termenex or a professional exterminator.
Much love to all. Wish you all the best in your endeavours and trials. Thanks amundo Again and again.
Sharyn, windows are in, they were wrapping the house in tyvek preparing for stucco when I drove by this afternoon. Still think October.
I hope you are are feeling better.
He will have 2 weeks in hospital rehabilitation. Then they have to live near the hospital for 4 months in case of rejection.
How is your house coming along?
I think it is more draining to not be there, you wait for news, a text, a call, email, something. Waiting and waiting and not knowing anything is very hard and exhausting. Just as I never heard anything from twisteds about mom or L, for two years, until the very end.
Take care of you!
Dori, Glad the transition went well.
Thank you Golden, I am not there physically with my family but I am drained, lol!