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Glad -it is a good thing YOU know what you are doing!!!
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Checked into electric and plumbing permits for my house. They are issued by the state as in this rural area specialized inspectors are non-existent. Hadn't been able to find the permits, then the building inspector, who is on my staff, found them. One of the commissioners happened to be in my office when this happened. How in the heck is a final electric issued in May and the initial inspection in mid-July. I told the inspector he needs to figure out what the heck, with the commissioner still in my office, happened! Commissioner laughed about what a big deal that could become if misinterpreted by someone. It is kinda funny. I told building inspector that I want no part of this, I do not want in the middle of this, and to figure it out on Monday. Wouldn't you know!

Golden, I think that the non-reading med pros happens often. I would be frustrated too.

Becky, a boat cruise in Colorado?! Where? I know of raft trips, but a cruise?
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I'm still having a frustrating time of it with mom and all that her needs entail. We did a phone call on speaker between her and sis last Friday, and it really surprised me that she confronted sis on some of the stuff that she's done. Sis of course didn't really say much, just denied it. We hadn't discussed any of that stuff beforehand, and I haven't even brought up any of it to mom since around the time it was happening and the last court appearance that took place when she was staying here, for fear of just upsetting her when she is trying to get adjusted at her facility. I was fully expecting her to throw me under the bus and play the sympathy card because she's not living with me anymore and she wishes she could move back here. Anyway, sis hung up, and mom wanted to call her back and I said maybe another time when things are a little calmer.

Ever since then, she has been wanting to call sis back, but we haven't yet. I don't think it's a good idea right now with the court mess still ongoing. I'm waiting for further input on the phone call/visit issue from mom's attorney.

On another note, went to see mom earlier and brought her pen needles for her insulin pens and some pajamas that I found of hers, but forgot the bottled water and paper towels she asked me to bring. Not a big deal, she still has some and I will see her again on Monday morning for an eye appt.

Well, she harped on that, and then asked if I had been able to find her another plastic mug since one of hers broke. I said that I hadn't, it just slipped my mind, have been busy with other things. I suggested that since the facility has a bus that goes on Tuesdays to Walmart, maybe she could start doing that. She said no, that she didn't want to do that because she has to wait an hour for the bus when they go, I guess to give everyone time to get what they need. I said, and yes, I was a little irritated, "What's the difference in you waiting an hour and me having to take an hour out of my day to go do it?" She said, "Do you not love me anymore?" Because I asked her to get her own stuff at WALMART!

I listed out the things I do, doctor's appts, store runs, paying bills, managing all her financial stuff (taxes, insurance), pharmacy runs, etc etc and said, "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't do any of this." I know, it just all went in one ear and out the other, but I swear she doesn't appreciate anything. It's always more, more, more. I finally just said I needed to go because I could feel my blood pressure rising and didn't want to yell, so I cut the visit short. Told her I'll be back on Monday.

Ugh, but I feel bad too for being grouchy and irritable. I just have days where I get so fed up with feeling like a servant to someone who is "all about me" and feeling stressed out because of it.
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Thanks frazz. It was so unnecessary. All they had to do in May was put her back on the risperdal as they said they would, and she would have been fine again. Ultimately it was and is the doctor's decision. My job now is to make sure he has the proper information. My dd said she didn't mind making phone calls. I keep her updated in case I get hit by a bus or something. But she easily says she will do things, then when the time comes they may or may not get done. I had a tough winter with CFS/FM or I might have been on them harder. All we can do is the best we can.
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Golden, I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds really frustrating. It does sound like they need a liaison between the DOC and the nurses. I'm glad you are doing what you need to though to take care of you. Hopefully the DOC can help you make sure she is monitored properly.
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Just realised I am going to have to connect with the Director of Care more to be sure that mother is monitored properly as regards her mood. There was a position between the nurses/aides and the DOC, but that has been abolished. I would hope the DOC liaises between the nurses/aides/reports/family and the doctor, so he gets a picture of how mother is beyond the questions he asks her. Also I will check with the nurses/aides myself to get their first hand impressions of mother and reflect my findings to the doctor, if he will return my calls. Sometimes you have to know the right questions to ask. Sigh!!!
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Finally got a call from the NH doctor yesterday. I must say he is a very pleasant man. I had looked up his ratings on line and they were very high. However, we discussed mother's situation, and low and behold, he did not know what drugs she came in with, nor that she had BPD, nor about the decision at Christmas to take her off risperdal, monitor her and put her back on if she needed it!!! I thought that the point of keeping records was to read them to be informed about your patient and refer to them to make the best decisions. Without doubt the best decision would have been to put mother back on the risperdal when she started feeling bad. Now, despite my continual feedback to put her back on risperdal, she has been through an increased dose of her original antid, which did not help, a second antid which did not help, and had some side effects, and now a third antid which may be helping. He wants to keep her on this till mid September and asked if I would be down to see how she was. I said the nurses, in my experience, were doing a good job of seeing how she was. They were with her daily, which I could not be, and who knows even about September due to the CFS/FM. I chatted with him about her behaviour and he said thought he saw signs that she was happier on this new antid. Sigh!!! Hopefully it will work and if not I think he will put her back on the original meds regime. I gave him some background as to why that choice of drugs and why they were working. Risperdal is sometimes used in combo with an antid to treat BPD. If he had called me back the first time they left him a note to call me, mother might not have had to gone through this period. Can you tell I am annoyed????

I have now officially joined the whine about NH's club

Slowly getting my gut sorted out. It is going to take a while, but I believe I am going in the right direction with my veggie/fruit etc diet. I ordered a kindle book on the subject to keep me on track, and I have to reduce stress as much as possible.

Meanwhile my thyroid is a little high, (so reducing stress is harder) which accounts for the energy spurts, but I am not sleeping well which is no good, so I will drink coffee with my thyroid pill which decreases absorption and should get my T4 back to a better level and I should be able to sleep more.

That's the plan anyway! All part of looking after me so I can do the things I have to.

Thinking of all of you, even the ones who don't post much anymore. Let us know how you are if you can.

dori - thinking of you and your mum especially at this time. ((((((hugs))))))
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glad - that was awful not hearing from the twisteds for that time. Hope the stucco gets done soon. It will look great!!!!

sharyn - such a roller coaster ride with your bro. It is a very complex procedure - not just the surgery, but the recovery phases. Your sil is going through a very difficult time. Prayers for your bro to get through this phase successful and for rest and peace for family. You must be relieved he is responding.

Becky -so glad you are going to CS. Have a wonderful time!

(((((((Beth))))) what a terrible situation! Let us know how you are.

duck - glad you are moving on getting POA/better support for your mother. She will need more and more as the disease progresses. And so glad you are going to therapy and getting medical help. Good luck with the bugs. I have to tackle new ant hills in the lawn here.

stacey - so good to hear from you!!! I just got rid of my Foreman grill. Haven't used it. I have a few cans of Comet that I don't use any more so they need to go and so on. I was shocked at how much cleaning material I have - don't need that much variety, T am not surprised that you still are dealing with the fall out from looking after fil. These experiences change us forever, Yes, all those things are connected. I have changed my diet to promote better gut health (no meats for now and lots of veggies. fruit, nuts, legumes and some grains/seeds) and that has helped my CFS/FM sx. The BC smoke has been bad here too and worse around E'ton. Take care of you, stace

((((((hugs))))) to everyone.
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Thanks Glad. I’ve been To Denver. We didn’t sign up for the Pike’s Peak side trip. I knew I couldn’t do that. The only outside activity I am doing is a very short boat cruise. I’m taking a cooking class. Mostly, I plan on enjoying the scenery and relaxing.
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Becky, check with your doc on the upcoming trip to CS. Remind doc that altitude in Springs area is 6,500 to 7,000 feet. Less oxygen and what if there is a trip to top of Pikes Peak is planned? Altitude over 14,000 feet much less oxygen. Heart and lungs will have to work much harder. CS is a beautiful place to visit and is way, way up there.
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Just some info on what caused my brother’s lung disease. It was determined it is a virus. Idiopathic....no know name for the virus. It starts as a spot on the lungs and grows. The damaged tissue becomes like cement. In my brother’s case, the spot started at the bottom of the lungs and spread upward. The virus is only in the lungs and not the entire body which is why a transplant can be done.
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Thank you Glad. I am worried for my sil. My nephew just texted. The neurologist was able to get my brother to respond to a couple commands so he is starting to come around.
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Ahh, Sharyn, of course she is worried and not sleeping much. Just know my thoughts are with you and yours. Keep us posted.
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Glad, it’s been a rough day. My sil said he is unresponsive. My nephew says he is sedated not unresponsive. I was very worried until my nephew clarified things. They did CAT scan, eeg, and MRI all are negative. He was having slight seizures yesterday (possibly from the anti rejection drugs). It will take several days to bring him out of sedation so he won’t panic. Yesterday it took 4 people to hold him down so he couldn’t pull out the ventilation tube and IV. It appears positive and we just have to get through this part of waking him up.

My sil is not sleeping or eating. She won’t leave the hospital. It’s understandable she is negative about the progress at this time. I hope she can rest, not collapse at some point.
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Still no stucco. Transferred my proceeds for closing. Didn't want the market to fall anymore.

Sharyn, how is bro doing?
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Thank you MsMadge.
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Sharyn,
good thoughts for your brother's recovery - he's a brave man
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Drywall to be delivered on Friday. Scaffold up for stucco but still no stucco😟
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SharynM, so happy to hear about your Brother's successful heart surgery! My Cousins husband had a heart transplant several years ago, and while the 1st year or so was a bit stressful with the constant monitoring for rejection and other minor tweaking, he has done great, and his health has been restored dramatically! Hope all goes well for your Brother's recovery too!

Glad, your house seems to be going up So fast, thought probably not as fast as you desire. It sounds beautiful and I can't wait to hear about it as it comes along!

Dduck, wise words from Bookluver! Sounds like your Mom needs more care then is safe, glad you are working towards seeing to her health and safely! You be sure to take care of you too!

Golden, Hi! Like you, I've been clearing out kitchen cupboards, Ugh, we have So much, appliances we Rarely use and can certainly do without! There is No way we could ever bring this much unnecessary STUFF to a Condo, and things are ramping up here, for a move in that direction. I can't believe it's almost been a year since my FIL passed away, and I'm still dealing with some weird depression, some FM sx, and lack of motivation (probably all connected)! Otherwise, things are going fine here with me and mine! Hope you are fairing well!

On a different note, we are inundated with smoke from the BC fires! We get that here in August, but this year is the worst in a very long time! Hope the fires near you are well under control! Poor California, they are in a bad way too! Prayers all around!

To everyone else new and old timers, my thoughts are with you as you navigate your family troubles. This site/thread helped me immensely during my time in the care of my Narcissistic FIL. He's been gone now nearly a year, but it's taken all of this time to recover from the dysfunction, still working on it! It just takes time! Thinking of you all!
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Duck, hang in there. I hope you are able to get POA. You clearly have your mom’s best interest at heart where your sis does not.

Glad, happy to hear the windows are in and stucco to begin soon. October is a good time to move in, not too hot or too cold.

Becky, I hope you go to Colorado Springs. It will be good for you.

My brother is still in a sleep state. They are bringing him out of it slowly because he stresses and tried to pull out the ventilator and IV. His brain tells him he needs to breathe harder like he did before surgery and he doesn’t need to now. He is using his lungs with just minimal support from the machine. The drs say it can take some people a little longer to come out of sedation with all the different medications and begin to just breath naturally.
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SharynMarie, Glad your brother is fine.

Book, as far as I know my sister has only a health care proxy. I got email that I should be hearing from the lawyer about my request for information and referral to obtain power of attorney.

I do not want to take my sister to court. I have been avoiding addressing all of this. Thank you all for the feed back and comments, it is helping so much.

Therapy in the am, talk about this and other issues, will request meds. Then pick up package for pestcontrol, do damage control in fridge the parts are in and the service for seals on door is scheduled for thursday. Its next week I see wtc medical doctor for another round of referrals. Finally feeling better from an ugly stomach virus.

Happy I made it through my work week without anymore heavy drama.

Have a lovely next few days. I am off for a minute. I do get on the lap everynow and then. I know I will be busy trying to do stuff. If these products I ordered dont work I will have to sacrifice and get termenex or a professional exterminator.

Much love to all. Wish you all the best in your endeavours and trials. Thanks amundo Again and again.
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Believe me I'm trying. Just feel like I'm spinning and wiped out. Then I feel so sorry I'm not there. Waiting now.
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Beth, try to just breathe.

Sharyn, windows are in, they were wrapping the house in tyvek preparing for stucco when I drove by this afternoon. Still think October.
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Hard day. My 90 year old grandma is having heavy confussion and my mom took her to ER where they were rude. Did blood work. Said she is fine. Mom get her to house and on the way grandma who is very sharp asks if they are going to the hospital. Doesn't remember being there. Can't walk well into the house. My Mom is crying calling me for support. Im at work trying to do all I can. Now we think maybe a stroke. I tell my mom take Her to different ER. Grandmas son 67 was released from jail today. She has been stressing so bad over this. She paid for lawyer for him. Was for an old warrent that finally caught up with him. His wife is dying in hospice while being evicted. His daughter and brother in law hate him. My aunt picked up his things and now is driving to him over an hour away to give him things. He has no where to go. He is yelling saying no one cares. My. mom is calling me and I'm here for her and GMA. I'm very close to my GMA. Praying.
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Thanks Sharyn. Still have a few problems, but nothing like earlier. We are hoping to go on a short trip next week. PJ has a reunion with some old football next week at The Broadmoor in Colorado Springs. I hope my car:iologist clears me to go. It will be a long 4 months for your brother.
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Becky, thank you, I’m hoping too. It’s a long 4 months ahead of him and my sil.

I hope you are are feeling better.
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Thank you Glad. My sis in law got to see him but he was still out. She said he looks good.

He will have 2 weeks in hospital rehabilitation. Then they have to live near the hospital for 4 months in case of rejection.

How is your house coming along?
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Sharyn, wonderful, hope recovery for your bro goes well.

I think it is more draining to not be there, you wait for news, a text, a call, email, something. Waiting and waiting and not knowing anything is very hard and exhausting. Just as I never heard anything from twisteds about mom or L, for two years, until the very end.

Take care of you!
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Sharyn, I hope that your brother has an uncomplicated recovery.

Dori, Glad the transition went well.
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Dori, I’m glad the transition went well. Breath a deep sigh of relief!

Thank you Golden, I am not there physically with my family but I am drained, lol!
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