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you’re wickedly clever
the big end of summer shindig is a few days before her birthday

sharyn
I was trying to think how to get a piñata for the party but not sure it would break with using foam noodles instead of a bat 😂
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MsMadge,
Look on the MC calendar of events, plan the party to coincide with that event, tell her it is all for her birthday, everybody came. Save a bundle, and buy ice cream for. e v e r y b o d y . Party done.
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MsMadge, the Viking is expecting you to plan her party, lol! I think planning a party would be fun in a memory care facility.
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The Viking must sense it's getting close to her birthday- she asked if it was tomorrow
I said, no in another month but we'll need to start planning the party and she replied
yes you do
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I'm nothing if not "unflinchingly honest" Blackhole. It does get me into trouble sometimes though but I have a hard time biting my tongue, especially when it's a topic that resonates with me. Maybe I should change my name to Unflinchingly Honest on here and then people can read me at their own risk. If I come with a warning then no one can get mad at me anymore. :)
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Thank you, Gershun, for being unflinchingly honest about how lonnnnng it can take to pull our heads out of “the hole.” It ain’t over til it’s over..... and then new crud comes knocking. Frequently, it is not a linear journey to “OK.” And that’s OK!
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I am unaware,being the oldest of 7 siblings,(3 deceased,and I am 67) and believe,I am young and vibrant,in my outlook on life,as well as being a caretaker,and recently losing my father and sister,age 53.I am revisiting the Awareness of the word family dysfunction,and am grateful for this site, in allowing me to write and reveal publically,it’s familial existence,big time!! Secrets keep us secrets,and family systems do not support such personal revelations,thus my gratitude,for allowing me to safely come out,as a dysfunctional family revelation,on such “safe” sounding boards that exist ,namely this site,,Thank you.and how it applies to me,as I own partnership 100% in that definitive title!! I add this now,after days ago,burying another sibling,of something I experienced,many years ago,on mission of a lifetime.As a volunteer in a 3 rd world country,in the area of education etc.( and no I am not a missionary) I kept asking continually,why are so many individuals and families grateful and happy amidst their poverty living conditions medically and personally,beyond what any of us will ever experience in the USA.I lived with them,and was continually struck by their often everyday feeling of gratitude( and plz note I amnotfocusing on a Pollyanna type attitude) , , their answer I put aside and every now and then,when I am not 100 % overwhelmed and dis outraged which I fe tequently a, as a current caregiver is this.... I The US ,so much focus is put forth on what we and others WANT,but little focus is admitted on what we actually a NEED.I write this not to ever discredit,or disregard what everyone writes including myself,and shares,in pain,exhaustion, challenges,,anxiety,depression,aloneness etc.and etc.but just to share a flashback on Want vs.feal need,for our loved ones,and for ourselves as caregivers.So often in my personal-family experiences,and as a past and current caregiver,Want vs Need,is something that takes courage to recognize and move forward with.Thank you for allowing me,to share my thoughts and experiences.
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Thank you Golden. Good idea! Just say can you hold that thought, I have to go to produce for tomatoes. If she starts again, oh dang! I forgot the onions and so on until she stops. One cannot have a normal conversation with her because she has to 1 up whoever she talks with. The need to be very important is a driving component with her.

Thank you!
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Lovelight, I chuckled when mentioned "when I get sick and need someone to take care of me will you do it for me too?" .. My oldest brother of next door was rarely there for our parents. We would have BBQ and the table was set in our parents' front porch. But bro, his wife and grown up children would not enter the house to atleast greet our parents.... My mom was diagnosed with dementia in her early 50's. She became bedridden 15 years after diagnosis. And was bedridden for at least 13 more years. She died at age 79. Around that time, my brother was going through some health issues that I wasn't aware of. He suddenly told me, note TOLD me that when his health gets bad, that I would be taking care of him. .. Nope! I told him. That's your wife and daughter's responsibility... Can you believe that?! Yes, I'm sure you all do. Dysfunctional, weird family...
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I think it was Susan, wasn't it, whose cousins so admired how well she cared for her mother right up until the end of her life that their brilliant idea for her future was that she could then move on to doing the same for her aunt. I'm sure they meant the proposal well, but the way they put it to her was quite fantastically offensive. Along the lines of "you're such a good and caring person, we thought you'd love to do this and we'll even throw in pocket money." I remember we were all relieved that she was able to tell them to take a running jump.

I expect there is self-justification involved. In absentees' eyes, caregivers don't mind seeing their loved ones decline; they're cool with commodes and bed baths and pressure sores; their special brains aren't troubled by repetitive questioning for hours on end. So it's not that caregivers hate these things just as much but get over it and do the job anyway, it's that they're somehow more serviceable people, designed like that by God perhaps, and it's not the absentees' fault that they're just "not cut out" for it.

"Your brother finds it so depressing to see your mother like that." And I don't?
"I hate hospitals!" Really? That's funny - mother simply adores being in them.
"I only get one day off a week." I only get three hours off a week. Wanna swap?

Gershun - you are so right. Need to drop it. It's just that it's comes up so often, and it's so infuriating!
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Love, yes it is so baffling to me..............and I'll never wrap my head around my siblings either. The lack of empathy, the disinterest, the selfishness. Especially since my own dear mom was one of the sweetest, kindest human beings I ever met.

When my Mom was laying dying in the hospital her last week of life my narc sister phoned me up and told me "I just spent 20 minutes with Mom" She was actually proud of this fact. A whole 20 minutes. Wow, boggles the mind.

One thing I do know for sure is I have to not think about this anymore cause first of all it's dwelling on something that was what it was and second, it just causes me heartburn and thinking about it is a waste of time. Plus, I don't think it's healthy for me to harbor resentment anymore. I need to let it go. Mind you, this is me saying this three years after Mom's death. Those of you who are still experiencing this, my heart goes out to you. Keep doing the right thing and try not to think about your selfish siblings. I know it's easier said than done but it will benefit you in the long run.
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love - we understand - it seems to be the norm here. I don't know what to say about sibs like that. Mine visits mother, at least, but she wants all the inheritance too, though I am the one on the spot to do the work. It is so frustrating. I hope you get a break sometimes and have some help. It is not a one person job.

Whew! Been working behind the scenes to get some ideas to the older couple R stays with. I told R that they need POA medical and financial as if one gets incapacitated without that in place it becomes very difficult to do business and they have land they want to sell. He is a heavy smoker and drinker and was a walking health crisis waiting to happen. R helps her with financial stuff anyway, as she had a stroke a few years ago which has affected her hearing. R had started communicating with them about future planning. then a couple of days ago -the health crisis happened, The old guy got sick, had to go to ER, and from there to intensive care and it doesn't look good at all.

Tonight R called and they got both POAs signed. This man, who often is very bad tempered, was cooperative, and thankful for the help. They were able to discuss all the necessary arrangements, He knows he doesn't have much time left.

What a relief to have this done. Now they need to be done for the wife too, and R will have to be agent for her as well, as one son is an alcoholic like his dad and the other is handicapped and distanced from the family. R has been a great support for her, and now will be for both of them, and is someone she can lean on as she goes through the next few months and longer. They have had no plans for their old age and I had been saying to R that the day is coming when she will not be able to manage her current life on the acreage (not a small one) and she needs to think ahead what she wants to do - where she wants to go. Living out on the boondocks in your late 70s and 80s is not the best. But next step is to take the POA financial document to the bank and make sure they recognise it and make any adjustments if needed. What a relief to get this done and only in the nick of time. Good job, R!!! The info and awareness I have gotten from A/C and been able to pass on to him has been a great help.
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I really relate to this topic as our family is definitely dysfunctional. There are six of us siblings in my family and yet taking care of my brother is what I choose to do. What really gets me is that my other siblings don't come to spend quality time with him. Granted one of our other siblings is currently fighting stage four cancer on the other side of the country. I understand why she can't be here, but I absolutely feel angry that the others don't make the time to visit for more than a few minutes. And yet they can ask me to show him pictures of them so he will remember them? Seriously??? What I'd really like to say is NO, if you want him to remember you...do the right thing and SHOW UP! SPEND QUALITY TIME LOOKING AT OLD PHOTO ALBUMS! And maybe while they're here I could go to the store to get his supplies like depends/wipes and such.... I understand everyone deals with things differently but it's just beyond my comprehension or understanding. I hear things like "I just can't handle watching him slipping away" I'm just shaking my head.... in disbelief that they can just walk away from him...but I'm told it happens more often than I think. What ever happened to being there for family? And then they say something really stupid like, "when I get sick and need someone to take care of me will you do it for me too?" Uhggg really???
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Yes it is my hubs brother,, and hubs has spoken to him, and they have all been back and forth to the lawyer several times. Nothing ever changes.. we really feel this is all about the money and they never figured the parents would live this long. The river house is owned by FIL, maintained by us.. and it's pretty safe for him once we get him there. We even have a safe way to get him out on the float boat to fish, which he loves. The bathroom he uses we have modified ( for Mom) but he only uses the toilet . We have spoken to FIL about going into AL at the same place MIL is in,, he thinks its a great place.. but he wants to stay in his own house,, which I understand. No way can he move here permanently,, although he has mentioned how "great" that would be.. We will be going to isit him, and get him out a bit. If not the river,, he and Mom both love the casino. We go during the day when it's not crowded, And no, they are not interested in coming to the river... it's too "low class" for them.. LOL Plus if they bring him, they don't get away from him. My SIL ignores him completely to hear him tell it
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Thank you Ali. I tried to give a condensed version the first time but it didn’t explain it well enough. I love my manager but she is too laid back with the attitude it’s between me and this girl to handle. It knocked me off my beatings but next time I will leave the department. Thank you again (((Hugs)))!!!
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Ali, I appreciate your thoughts and am glad you are handling the situation you work in. i believe this is a bit more than work place drama. What angers me is she refused to respect my boundaries when I told her I do not want to talk about it at work and I walked away. 3 times I told her and walked away but she followed me. I had every right to tell her off. The department manager was there and did nothing. This girl asked me about me health a week ago last Tuesday. Then on Friday she went to my daughter. She claimed she was asking because our department manager was concerned about me. After I texted her on Friday informing her she was violating HIPPA laws, she comes into work on Saturday to continue her quest on her day off. I have never talked with her or any other co workers about my personal life. I am professional at work other than some joking from time to time.

Anyway i I appreciate your post and I do know how to handle her. She just angered me beyond reason. This has been a rough week as tomorrow is my nieces birthday. I will get through it, I have my way of grieving without imposing on others.

Have a a good evening everyone.
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dori - sorry to hear about your mum and less support just when you need it most. Awesome that you and your bro are on the same page. It does sound like the time for hospice is here.
Yes it WILL happen that week amd you are NOT an a**h*le. I can see myself feeling the same way in a similar situation, I am glad the gig will go on and BGF is a treasure! Bless him. The irony about her diet is huge!!!! Enjoy singing in the park. It will be a great break for you as things with mum are changing for the worse. ((((((hugs))))))

cm -for the record, R looked after the heavy work in 4 of mother's 5 moves (he couldn't get away from work one time) in the last few years. He also came up here post fire and dealt with the house issues - insurance people, the rotten meat, tossed one fridge , a ash covered bed etc. I don't know what I would have done without him. He says - neighbours look after neighbours - the farm culture. It is one of the reasons he is still around. I can count on him for stuff like that. And mother likes him...

ali - sounds like you are doing well with your coworker, Self awareness of BPD is huge!!!.

PamZ - Oh my the drama rolls on. To me it sounds like bil and sil and taking advantage of their situation and not giving back what they should. They made the deal to look after him for all these perks. Part of looking after him is care when they are away. It doesn't sound like he should be alone that much, and that he could use some entertainment.

Frazzled - glad the judgement went the right way but it is cold comfort as you won't see any of it. I know what you mean about abuse being the norm, and holidays being a mess. You have done the right thing by putting your mum in a facility. I understand wishing you had not been involved it all. Me too, but someone had to do it, and there wasn't anyone else. ((((hugs)))))

Mother's xray showed nothing. I talked with the Director of Care yesterday and about the meds. and the plan made about Christmas time to remove risperdal, monitor mother and return to it, if needed I pulled the I have a Masters in Physiology blah blah blah thing and told her that is my very strong view that we should not try other antidepressants, but go back to the original plan and meds regime she had when she came as it was working well for her. The DOC asked if I wanted the doc to call me. I answered that last time I did, I got no call, and if he agrees with my assessment, and puts her back on the original meds, I don't need a call; however, if he disagrees I do want a call. She heard me. We will see.

Love my new faucet, though the hose is not as long. But I will manage.

I am on my second week of no meat and doing fine. I am eating fermented food -think kimchi and pickles - and enjoying seasonal fruits and veggies, legumes, nuts and a few grains. I have a feeling I am done with red meat. but may add sea food eventually. I will still cook it for R as the need arises,

Have a good one and be good to you.
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sharyn - she sounds like she has serious mental health issues and definitely wants to be the center of things. I agree that distance from her is best and detach if you can. You are still dealing with your niece's death, your bro is waiting for a lung transplant - that is a lot for anyone to deal with, I hope your dd knows well enough to cut off any conversation with her about you. Practice some "pat" answers if she comes at you again, or ignore her questions and speak to the manager if she persists. She is very invasive and totally over the line. You are business co workers - nothing else and all conversation should be on work and nothing else.

Draw firm boundaries with her, Her behaviour is inappropriate. I have had some success with scam phone calls by asking them to repeat their questions."What was that you said?" "I didn't get that - could you repeat it? Did you just say...? and so on. It throws them off base. Then, after I have gotten them to repeat their questions several times, I say that I am not interested, I don't wish to discuss it etc and say goodbye and hang up. It means that I have taken control of the conversation away from them. Good luck
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Oh Pam, how sad.

I can't see its being a good idea for you and your husband to uproot the old man even for a nice reason. Wouldn't it be better for one or both of you to go over and visit him a couple of times to raise his spirits?

There comes a point where venturing out of the house is only really safe with the support of the main caregivers. You can think of SO many well-intentioned "let's have mother for Christmas" type treats that end up in broken hips or medication mix-ups.

And I agree with you about getting that they do need a break - from him! I hope they put that "jokingly" (many a true word spoken in jest, after all), and I'm sure he does see the point, but I expect he'd probably like to get out from four walls too. Would there be an opportunity (and space) for them to come with him to the river house later on?
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Pam, is BIL and SIL related to your hubby? If yes, then it's really hubby who needs to have a serious talk with his brother (?)…. Decades ago, when my mom was just diagnosed with dementia in the early years, she was sundowning a lot. And violent. My oldest brother's wife had the nerve to tell me and my sister that we should lock mom up in her bedroom. Sis blew up and yelled at SIL that she is not family and has no right to tell us to lock our own mother up. My brother ordered us out of his home. Decades later, I still think it was wrong for a non-blood family member to tell us that we should lock our mother in our room. It would have been better if it came from our brother.

I think this is the same situation with your FIL. Your hubby is the one to remind his brother of the agreement and how they are failing it. By Not keeping to the agreement, they are now 'abusing an elderly' financially in that they are using his money for their new home and bills, yet they are renting out their own home. All the money is going to them. Nothing is going to him. It's abuse. They are just like those scam callers preying on elderlies - except this is family doing it and not strangers....
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I was wondering if I should post here or on the Whine Moment thread. I guess this is in a way a whine having to do with my dysfunctional family, so here it goes.

Yesterday was a very trying, just overall stressful day. Judgment was issued by guardianship court on mom's behalf for the amount my sister stole from her savings account while the guardianship proceedings were still going on. Not that I will be able to collect (sis has no assets, and has probably blown through it by now, knowing her), but important to have it on record in case I need to apply for Medicaid for mom.

Long story short, sis brought my grandmother (mom's NPD mother) and mom's brother, who does his mother's bidding. None of them think the stealing, emotional and physical abuse sis put mom through is a problem.

Abuse in mom's side of the family I think is accepted as the norm, always has been, which is why we never had peaceful holidays growing up. Always ended with people not speaking, or people about coming to blows, or in shouting matches. Took me years with my hubs and kids starting our own traditions and trying to break out of unhealthy family drama to finally start enjoying Christmas or Thanksgiving. Hubs has some crazy family members here and there, but I don't think he had a clue what he married into when we said our vows 17 years ago. I did try to warn him lol

The court thing is, I guess, a small victory, but I just feel mostly sad about the whole ordeal. I just wish my family weren't so screwed up. Mom is no picnic to deal with either, by the way, but I don't know, I guess I still feel the responsibility for her well-being. Legally as her guardian, I am responsible, but I mean emotionally even if I wasn't guardian, I've always felt like I had to be the parent.

So many times I could've kicked myself for not walking away altogether or for even getting involved along this crazy journey, that's how frustrated I get. I did finally figure out that her living with us wasn't going to work (she is in a nice facility now). I know I did the right thing by her through all this, but it's just sad, is still the only word I can think of that adequately describes it all.
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Sharyn, if this meddling coworker has BPD or NPD (sort of sounds like NPD to me, the way she wants to be involved in "advising" you on personal issues), best thing is to steer clear and stay overly professional. I don't think I'm saying anything you don't already know... but it helps to have someone else's objective advice sometimes.

I have a young coworker who has BPD. She knows she has it, is in therapy. She still triangulates me constantly into little power struggles at work, or just is overly gossipy. I keep it friendly with her, and I genuinely like her a lot!! But I don't play her games. I remind her of her job duties often, when she starts heading down a path of blaming others for things at work, or accusing the owners of doing things to undermine the employees. So... if you're up for it... perhaps you can be a good influence on keeping this coworker in check. When they approach you to discuss things outside the scope of work, remind them that you're on company time and also you're not interested in having that discussion with her.

If she persists, I suppose you'll have to take it to HR/manager. I'm just wondering if you can't steer her towards being more productive, while also keeping yourself out of the DRAMA she seems intent on creating.

It's definitely not your duty to deal with this kind of thing at work. I just wanted you to know I can sort of relate, and I'm dealing with my BPD coworker pretty well, I think. But my coworker knows she has BPD and so it's easier to point out to her when she's off track. If your coworker is NPD, I don't think you can convince her that she's the problem here. Good luck with finding a good resolution to this.
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Oh Pam, I’m so sorry. You definitely do not need the addition of FIL to your house with your mom, job, etc. I agree totally that BIL and SIL should be responsible for paying for CG since he paid for the house and the bills. They need to step up and carry thru on that part of their deal with FIL. But, I can’t blame FIL for wanting to stay with those who take him out.
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Here we go again. BIL and SIL are going on vacation for 10 days, and leaving FIL home alone again.. with his home care person at 3 hrs a day EOD... He is on O2, uses a walker and is very short of breath. SO he wants hubs and I to take him to the river house for some of that time.. Cousin is getting leary of bringing him and helping because he is afraid something will happen and he will get the blame ( even if we are there) and FIL has no clue about my job and my hours, and thinks my Mom is still as spry as a 60 YO ( Hey,, that's hubs and I..) We can't really have him here as we have steps, and honestly we'd go insane... 2 elders to run herd over and manage pills, etc. He keeps going on about how the CG costs him $50 a day, and how he NEEDS to know in advance so he can cancel her.. does not get that we don't know about the weather, etc this far in advance.. I feel like the BIL and SIL should be paying for someone with him out of their pocket.. they made the deal with him,, to take care of him in return for him buying a house and paying all the bills ( yes he pays ALL the bills for them.. and SIL works as a teacher and they rent out their previous house) He asked them why he can't go along ( as he knows we take Mom and Aunt on all our trips) and they told him they need a vacation FROM him! I get that, I really do.. but how cruel! He is 94 and they take him nowhere... At least we try to get him out to the casino and the river once in awhile,,
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Good grief! A guy friend who is willing to help AND plans it properly? What are you putting in the water in Canada???
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CM - Thanks.....I kind of knew bro and I would be on the same page, but it's nice not to have to take full responsibility for the decision. No, I would not ask bro to drive 4 hours here and 4 hours back (on a radiator-murdering STEEP mountain highway* in the hottest part of summer), in the middle of his work week, to fill in for me while I sing in the park for a couple of hours.

*Edit: the Coquihalla Highway summit is 1244m/4081ft - I just looked it up, lol. And he'd be driving pretty much from sea level (Vancouver). That summit nearly killed my old Tempo two summers in a row. Old family joke: if Valhalla is Viking heaven then Coquihalla is Viking hell.

Better than that, though.....best guy friend is going to take over for me. All I have to do Wednesday is get mom to dialysis. We'll trade vehicles and he'll pick mom up, bring her back here, and stay with her till I get back. That frees up my afternoon to gather up my gear, mess around with my wardrobe and makeup, warm up my voice, and arrive calmly at the gig. I trust BGF more than I trust just about anyone with mom. (He even insisted on doing a run-through last Wednesday, picking up mom, practicing transferring her, and bringing her back here, with me in the back seat of my own vehicle!!)

We have one more rehearsal tomorrow, during my respite break. Problem is I don't know if the respite will be as scheduled, or moved around time-wise, or cut short altogether. (It was shifted AND cut back last Tuesday, without notice.) So I've got to phone them first thing in the morning, find out what to expect, and then if need-be, we can rehearse here.
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The show must go on, Dorianne.

The trouble with biting anything inside your mouth is that it swells and then it's bigger and in the way so you keep biting it, dang, ow!!! Could try a bit of a rub with some dissolved soluble aspirin on it? Might make it sit down and hush.

Can you arrange some kind of radio silence for when you're out at rehearsals and the concert? This might be completely crazy, but could bro come and mother-sit..? I'm not sure why I feel a lunatic even asking that?

It's a very good thing to be clear in your own minds, and to have a consensus. Well done to both of you.
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Hey all. Another fly-by. I have been flitting in and out of the forum. Hard to focus. Things have been super chaotic. Home support is.....well that's a story for another day, but services (that the agency is getting money for) are being cut.....not just from us either. (I've begun a formal complaint to the Patient Care Quality Board. Plus I privately tipped an old friend at the newspaper.) So the service cuts are making my life really difficult, because I have to pick up the slack.

And today my brother and I talked....we're making the decision to stop mom's dialysis.

It's only a matter of luck and time (possibly days, possibly a few weeks) before she ends up hospitalized, and then we'd end up making the decision anyway. If we make the decision now, we should avoid hospitalization, which would be the absolute worst for mom. (Chaos, contagion, constant noise, zero privacy, and just not a comfortable or homey situation AT ALL. She wouldn't even get a private room, the hospital is practically overflowing. No bloody dignity or peace of mind to be had THERE.) But you have to stop treatment (dialysis) before you can qualify for hospice....BUT there is a "short wait" (no idea what that looks like) for an available hospice bed. So if we make the decision, the renal unit will continue maintenance dialysis while they begin the process of getting mom a hospice bed.

Mom is very sick. Worsening weekly, maybe daily. Dialysis is not really helping anymore. It's making her sicker. She can't walk, she sleeps most of the time, she's barely aware, she is in pain, and she just feels terrible all the time. The nephrologist and renal nurse seriously wanted to hospitalize her today, and I was like.....I was tempted, because this is all so stressful and chaotic. But they said if she's hospitalized, she probably won't come home again. So I said NO. I said I was taking her home and that I couldn't make any decisions before I talked to my brother.

The selfish part of me is like.....I knew....I KNEW when I booked this gig....that this was when the sh** was going to hit the fan. I KNEW IT. I was so flipping ANGRY this evening. Angry at mom, angry at the renal unit....all quite unreasonable anger.....inside my head, I was being an a**hole. ("NOW? You're going to get sick and die NOW? You all have to dump this on me right NOW?") I was fortunately able to contain the thoughts and I think I'm almost over it. Yes, we're going ahead with the Joni Mitchell gig. The hell we're not going to do this on Wednesday, after all the work we've put in.

I keep accidentally biting my tongue or the inside of my mouth. Then I have to use benzocaine lozenges to numb my mouth so I can sing.....

EDIT: oh, oh oh.....the funny thing is mom finally got a gold star on her bloodwork report from the renal dietician today. Apparently I've finally figured out how to get mom to eat properly for her kidney disease. The irony is almost hysterical.
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Wow!!! thanks everyone, each and everyone has given me awesome advice. Thanks for bringing me back down to earth. I appreciate every word and thought.
Dang!! I feel so much better and motivated. Thanks for the perspective.

I probably wont see them for another year and a half or so. They have two more years here. I am going to spend my last two days giving love and embracing my grands , enjoying my family.

Hug, hug, hug, Hug,
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Golden, the more I think about it, the more I think she did it on purpose. A blind sided BPD attack. Maybe I’m thinking too much about it, but I don’t want her anywhere near me
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