
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I'm so jealous!
These are the hard days thinking of my son lying in hospital 16 years ago. Losing him still hurts, and the thought of mother declining adds to the stress. Life!!!
Sharyn - wise to keep limits with your sister. You have to look after yourself. You asked about Jessie. I don't know if anyone knows. She has been gone for a while.
Glad -wish you could post photos of your house here. Making great progress! You'll have to have a house warming for us all.
Hand bags????? I have one and a spare. I used to colour coordinate them with my outfit, but that got tedious so I stay with basic black, and something that travels well. Slowly weeding out my jewellery according to what causes an allergic reaction or not. I have a small box worth to give away so far. All the old small earrings are going. I could probably manage with a few sets of hoops -smaller and larger, silver, gold and a few colours. I think it is like your clothing - you wear 20% of it 80% of the time. I am discarding more of that too.
Take care everyone. You never know what life will bring you next.
Weather has been crazy nuts this week. Looking like much of the same for next week. Temp here this morning is a quite pleasant and cool 57 degrees. Had to get the sweat pants and UGGS out last night. The heat previously had been unbearable. Is summer finally over?
Stacey good to hear from you. I miss your positive up beat posts.
I’m doing ok. Some days are harder than others. Mostly it’s the heat that wears me down. It probably wouldn’t be so bad if it was dark by 9pm like California. It is just so strange going outside at 10 pm and it’s barely dark and STILL 89 degrees.
My sis is doing better. I don’t call her more than ever other week. Mostly because her pretentiousness gets on my nerves, lol! Just be real, don’t try to be more than who you really are.
have a good weekend and happy travels. Stay safe Glad.
Ali, I sold a bunch of Gucci bags online after Mom died. Between my own, mom’s and the ones I was given I had several duplicates and some I didn’t like. I was working on my house and the cash came in handy. PJ brought me one back last year from a trip to Vegas. The older I get the less I shop for myself. I’ve sold tons of stuff online. Easy way to clean out stuff. When I lived in Cincinnati there was a store, Snooty Fox that bought high end handbags and shoes. I did a lot of cleaning out that way.
I love TJMaxx and Ross Stores. I shop at both a good bit.
I used to to shop when I-traveled. Been on vacation all this week and have only bought a couple of books. I’m getting old.
She sounds real good on the phone. Even though I suspected this, it still hurts my heart to hear it. It feels weird. It scares me. I can only imagine how hard this is for her.
I never even knew about these designer thing or LV until my aunt Sham's mother saw one I had in the 80's. I was a secretary in a senior center and they would have flea markets. I got lovely drapes, leather coats for an uncle who baby sat for me and this lv bag. My aunt raved about it and kept asking me for it, I didn't give it to her at first thinking if she wants it this bad it must be worth something. Finally, I went to an affair and for some reason I knocked bag off the table two times and each time my house and car keys fell out and I knew it was not for me and gave it to my aunt. this one was a different type leather though just solid black.
Anyways, I am not into spending a lot on bags. I will on shoes if I like them. I just got this one because :) it matches with the wallet purse my son gave me which I had to put inside another bag when I used it.
A friend gave me a different designer bag a few years back and that was my go to bag until the metal that had the strap broke. I really had heavy stuff in the bag.
I ususally dress things up and look like a million dollars. Although this big belly takes away some of the shine. I would turn rings around to my palm at one time because people were treacherous at one point, especially when the economy is bad and Christmas.
Jewelry is another problem. I have lost so many pieces that I tend not to wear jewelry. Lost diamond earring 1st time I wore it two years ago. Now I cant find the match which I tried to have made for a necklace was unable because of the diamonds. I left it in that jeweler envelope and have no idea where I put it. I tried my luck with a small diamond ring when I got my little laptop. One of the diamonds fell out after two days!!! Crazy. Now this fake diamond ring I bought to wear with my gown to the ball is sitting pretty and intact lol.
Golden I hope you get good report about xrays. Hang in there.
Dorianne I am not up to date but I hope your event went well and you broke a leg.
Becky I hope you enjoyed your trip.
Church, it was good to see you, wise and strong ((HUG))!!!
I am not on so regular and my heart remembers the spirit more so than the name, so many of you are embedded in my heart forever and I have much love for you all.
I enjoyed reading the stories and experiences and preferences about shopping. I do learn a lot here in every aspect and its uplifting.
Rays of love light and peace to all.
i loved it at the time but wouldn't even think of having one now - I'm always miffed that I can't find a boring shoulder bag - Amazon doesn't even carry stone mountain anymore
I did buy a hand made Italian leather bag from a T. J. Maxx store about 3-4 months ago. It was the only one of that style there at the store, my eyes immediately went to it and I bought it for about $70, I think. Soooo... the fancy lady still lives inside, she's just not into supporting the big fashion houses exponential upcharging for their brand names anymore. 😝
"...always exactly what you need it to be. Capacious but not bulky, structured yet supple, at home on the town or in the country. Cinch the side laces, and voilà! it’s a sleek city bag. Loosen them and you have a chic, practical tote. The slim leather handles fit over the shoulder or on the arm. Shown here in Damier Ebène canvas."
Yes, everyone, it's the 'legendary' Louis Vuitton Neverfull, a snip from £920.00. I think I'll get two...
I love trinkets. I have touristy key chains, post cards, metal bookmarkers, folding oriental hand fans and a custom jewelry (or real gold pendant) from every country I've visited, except the Mainland US. I cannot shop frivolously on 'touristy' stuff when I'm shopping with family in the Mainland. All well, my family knows what I love to collect. So they all buy for me key chains... .My BIL's taste in key chains... uhm is very plain. Not touristy, eye-catching kind. But, it's from Italy, so I'm not complaining. Italy!
My favorite souvenir is the one from Bali, Indonesia. My mom was still normal at the time. She was a green thumb. Her favorites were roses and orchids. When I was in Bali, I entered a sterling silver jewelry store. Nothing caught my eye except these dangling flat but very detailed intricate rose earrings. It's really pretty. I asked the attendant if instead of earrings can they convert the rose to a necklace pendant? When they did, I loved it! I bought it.... FYI, I went to check my souvenir shoe boxes in the closet. ohhhh.. memories of my past travels. I found my travel diary for Bali, May 17-23, 1997. My little diary is still in good condition despite the humidity and numerous typhoons. I'm going to read it now... Later!
Golden, thinking about you and your Mom, and hope her chest issues don't turn into anything serious! 106, unbelievable! She's a Real trooper! Hope you're feeling better too! FM sucks, I have it too, but mine has been pretty good lately, knock on wood!
DD, sounds like your trip is Awesome! So glad you are enjoying time with your Son and family, and sounds like you are going to lots of cool places, what fun! You needed that break, for sure!
Glad, goofball size hail, Wow! Hope house build is going well!
Sharyn, thinking of you and your family, so sorry for your loss! Take Care!
Dori, been reading about your upcoming concert, sounds Super fun too! Nice to have an outlet just for you, while caring for your Mom!
Hope everyone is getting rest, while caring for your elders!
Take care all!
I think its awesome how you have monitored your mother and the effects of her meds.
There are side effects of the meds and combinations. I don't know much about antidepressants never even heard of the last one you mentioned.
I feel you on anticipatory grieving. I find myself doing that when my mother's condition changes, her mental status if she seems to move into another stage. I don't even know her diagnosis. Actually I don't think she has one. But if I was involved with her medical care I would hope to be as astute and involved as you are. I know it that part is another area of care giving which is stessul.
A few weeks before I left for my trip, I called and left message for MD about my concerns about her eating and need for a home attendant.I explained the situation as far as being blocked from her care and the person I spoke with said she would give info and put it in for the doctor to call me. He didn't call back. Then when did my toe nails, I did my mothers again and although I think I did a good job with the nails and accumulated crust. When I get back I will call again a mention a need for a regular referral to the podiatrist. I started to text nephew about it but thought better of it.
You are strong and resilient and attentive to your mothers needs and care. I can imagine how hard the worry is on you. I am so glad you got some rest. That sinus thing is monsterous, and stress opens us up to all types of issues. So try and take it easy. I know its hard not to worry, especially about your mother and especially when she is your second or first thought on a daily basis.
I have not been up to date but I am happy for you finding a place and hope residual issues are resoved smoothly.
We went to wrong hospital via gps though we were going to jSeoul. Went to another hospital with the same name. Then I thought to get a few pairs of tailored pants. The seamstress was out and the receptionist explained that I'd be better off buying slacks or suits then having them fitted.
The ride was fruitful as my son and I got to converse on a lot of issues and concerns we both have. I am so grateful for our relationship, and how I have been blessed with him. Also grateful for relationship with Dl and oldest grand it all seems to get better with time. I wish I wasn't so sensitive in so many ways and I had to stop my self from letting the enemy take me to a bad place on certain things. I have learned well, keep my mouth shut although I couldn't help my self in certain instances with the oldest. I had to correct her on disrespect and had to watch that I didn't come off too strong and got good results.
Stress and rejection and ugliness over time has me going from 0 to 100 and thanks to this forum and good friend and prayer I am able to correct myself (sometimes) before I open my mouth.
Becky - sounds like you are having a good vacay too.
Dori - break a leg,. I think you are having fun and a great diversion from your mother.
Glad - we had hailstorms in the south and maybe some headed this way. You had quite a pounding! Take care..
sharyn - how are you doing. Grief doesn't go away quickly
book - you really enjoy shopping!!!
Got a call from the nh and they are concerned about mother's chest congestion so have ordered an xray. Fortunately that is done in the nh. They will call me afterward to let me know the results. The aide also said they are changing mother's antidepressant to remeron. I asked again if they could reduce her present antid back to what it was and add the risperdal back again as that combination worked so well for her. My understanding at Christmas was that they would remove the risperdal and monitor her. If she showed signs of needing it they would put her back on it. That is what I am asking for rather than trying a different antidepressant which may or may not suit her. The aide said she would talk to the dr when she next comes. I think I will make a call to the community nurse stressing this. She is new and was not at that meeting. Nor was the doctor for that matter.
I am doing a bit of anticipatory grieving, Chest congestion and whatever effects follow sooner or later (pneumonia, heart issues) is likely what will take mother. Despite all the difficulties of a lifetime (or maybe because of them), and despite the relief of being free, I will feel her passing considerably.
Have taken extra rest the past week and it is paying off. My skin issues are gone and my sinuses much better. I had forgotten that sinus pain is part of CFS/FM I don't have an infection, but I do have congestion and pain. Thankfully it is better today.
Take care all. Be good to you.
I took a tour to Niagra Falls when my son was young. We were up and out 6am 1 hour here, 2hours there, free time, run run run. it was fun though. We went on this huge wood
ferris wheel with bench seats. Biggest I have ever seen. The man got us to the top and must have forgot us. I was so scared to move, scared to take a shoe off and toss it. Whew, plus didn't want to alarm my son. No choice but to sit up there scenery was great but it was so terrifying sitting up there so high on a bench with nothing to hold on too.
I have to get used to this keyboard it, I keep hitting something act like page end or something.
anyway I bought a purse and one zipper is stuck and the other doesn't even connect. I am twisted and anxious to return it.
My son and I are off to seoul by bus in a few to visit someone in hospital and then have lunch at this seafood place he raves about since he got here.
Much love to all.
I am enjoying my series and loving this new one called Pose. Its about transgender life in late 70's and 80's. The 42nd street scene in NYC back then they called it the duce which is the name of another series wich is not in season same flavor but about the street girls. the other one seems to be a take on "Paris is Burning" a documentary.
Waiting for son to come home, DI baking, makes awesome cakes. The girls just got yelled at so they are nice and quiet watching tv.
Thanks for baring with my post. I know its a bit much.
Nasty storm here, golf ball size hail. Broke two smallish windows. Thought it was gone here it comes again.😐 need the moisture badly. Flash flood warnings though. Better close windows again. Hey did you know a lint roller tape works great in a pinch when you cant find the packaging tape.☺
Sharyn Thanks,
BookLvr and Sharyn I realize my mix up. Thank you both.
Well too hot to go out. DI going to make delivery. Oldest is still sleep 12yrs, middle one just woke 5yrs and baby is sleep. Shhhh! I remember my father saying aint going tobe no lounging around on weekends. They have chores my son stays on them with the cleaning. Its fair. Nice to see. My sister didn't have to do anything growing up if she didn't want to and off course she didn't.
Anyway I see my self gaining weight. Eating bacon and sausages and potatoes every morning and this nice soft bread they have here.
Oh I love the elders here and its nice and awesome they are. While shoping the owner was middle aged and cute and fresh. One place I went for shoes I saw and loved but they didn't fit in anysize as I have lymphedema one leg and chronic swelling to the ankle area so its hard for me to find good shoes and when I do I try to get two pair if I can. The shop owner was so accommodating picking out shoes that were properly same taste. I felt so bad that nothing fit. I picked up some clarks and sketchers at the px. I had a nice pair of clarks once and they lasted for ever. Two years ago I got some sneaker ones that later didn't feel good and a swuede like espadrille with leather toe which is still nice but getting loose. This pair I have to lput on when my foot is down and it will fit nicely as I break them in they are very comfortable.
Now I love patent leather, saw a pair in Heritage that I loved but decided to go wait for a sale or price to break,
Nap time. This is great.
Love to all