The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Yay, Glad

So exciting!

Glad, Congratulations! 🎉🏡

A hole in the ground!

Amarie - excellent advice from bookluvr! Do please let us know how the chat with the social worker went!

Hey again everyone! Just buzzing by quickly. The home support agency got our services back in place, so I am off on my respite block shortly. Yay! Not quite up to swimming yet, but since kitten Bruce has missed his weekly outings two weeks in a row, we are going to have a "mother-son" day, lol. I think we'll stop by the pet store and get some treats and a new toy, and then head to a park so he can finally see a marmot or a duck or something. I'll check back in later.

Amarie, sounds like your sister tried to do everything on her own with your mom. I have a sister who flew back home about every 4 or 5 years for a month stay. In those times, she took over care-giving mom. Yeah, it was great when she did that. But every 4 or 5 years? I haven't had a real vacation - away from home - like most normal people have. My 2 week vacation was staying home to caregive mom while my dad his 'off' from caregiving mom 24/7. It's also very, very difficult to separate your full time work and caregiving. Stress from both sides. I have fantasized repeatedly of doing what your sister did with you - to my oldest brother who lives just next door ( a few feet from us!) I sympathize to both of you: you and your sister.

1. Yes, the social worker first. He/She can help you set up with everything. The social worker came to our home and even got the fire department to come over and inspect our home before mom came home from the hospital, bedridden. The fire dept inspector said that our parent's bedroom was a fire hazard and the doorway wasn't wide enough for EMS stretcher to transfer mom in/out of the room. The livingroom became mom's 'bedroom'. The inspector recommended fire extinguishers (where to put it) and emergency lights that turn on when the power goes off, etc...

The social worker got the ball rolling for mom's hospital bed, cane, wheelchair, and portable chair/commode. She got dad enrolled for meals-on-wheels, etc....

2. Then, you need to find a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law. Most elder law attorneys handle a wide range of legal matters affecting an older or disabled person, including issues related to health care, long term care planning, guardianship, retirement, Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, and other important matters.

This is important that you get proper documents for POA for medical issues and financial issues, DNR, etc... It'll prevent heartaches and hardships later when your mom can no longer make decisions for herself.

Just a quick drive-by on my way to bed.  Another chaotic day here.  (((((Hugs))))) to all, and to all a good night!

Duck- (HUGS)

So today I came home to find my mother upstairs. My twisted's birthday was yesterday the day after my mother's. (I have never wondered why they are so much alike in spirit it amazes me my sister hates when I say she is just like my mother) anyways long story short. I moved into my mothers house when my landlord sold her home. Broke my heart. Took my mother 2 days to tell me to take my things to the only availiable room in the house all the others were filled with junk. It is very hard for me to make a story short.

I mention how my sister seemed stressed. Or sometimes this look like she is caught. I thought she was on verge of breakdown. could still be. Be what pissed me off recently, is the bathroom on my floor was loaded with junk and the cat litter box. When I put it out to start cleaning my sister put it back in. I ask my mother to tell her to find another place for it and of course she cannot correct my sister nerver has at least not for me. twisted had locked her bathroom which I noticed my first night moving on the floor below her.I ran up to use bathroom and the door was locked. I lived on that floor for years and never locked that door. I felt outcast and even worse when twisted my mother and the cat had a bathroom. Yes I thought to throw the box out, but I have respect and know my place. It was not my house. Anyways I had noticed that the bathroom door was being closed I would open it and see the cat litter box full and not changed. It wasnt every day i look. But when I went up second time to see what my mother was doing I saw a new cat litter box. I almost went from zero to 100. How can someone just leave a litter box with s&^%t in it and just close the door. So I wont have time this week to do make over in that bathroom but at least now I can move all the junk out clean it up and start using the toilet. There is no running water. Now if I find anything in there I didnt put in there Its trash. After all these many years I finally get to get a bathroom. I dont know if I was wrong to accept that situation or not. I just know that my mother was taking my sister side on every thing right or wrong.

So the second time I go up there to try and get my mother to get up and go downstairs, she was adamant to stay up there. mY sister'as door was closed. When I leave out to get dressed for work I hear tv going I go up looking to see what my mother is up to and my sister sittiing up in bed my mother no where to be found. when I get down she is in kitchen looking for something to eat, I heat up here meals on wheels, she still rambling in fridge and picks out another meal so I heat that one. She doesnt like the burger one and puts it in the oven so I warm up the fish one while in the shower. When I leave to go to work she is back up stairs again now talking to the tv lol. But on the real side I thing my sister will soon get the wake up call that my mother needs a homeattendant.

Godwilling I will be on a plane to Korea the first or second week in July and returning the first week of august. I already spoke to my coordinator. Got passport in mail today just need to check with my son what best day to get there.

After being sick, different not with the lungs, and partiallyt debillitated I realize I need a break. I am tired of traveling to job even though I love it. Its taking a toll, because all my sleep is broken. When I stayed on the job I slept untill I naturally woke. not from some one bamming or inserting keys to unlock my door.

I know I am burnt out. I am getting old, and my stamina for BS is much lower. I also had radiology calling me a few times last week after my test. I finally got back to them and it was for the mamogram they wanted to compare with older one. so thank goodness I got good sleep on job because I couldnt sleep after that call. So about 3 I left to get copy and report they sent it from there so I got to work a good 45mins early.

Well enough of my trials. I hope you all are good. Golden so glad about you doing the condo I wish you much luck in finding your next home.

Rays of love peace and light to all. Have a happy Memorial day.

Amarie- My siblings deserted My parents when I began caregiving. One calls when I suggest it to him. The other 4 have not contacted her in four years.
I don't know, it seems I read and hear a lot of these stories. When one starts caregiving the others are missing in action, or have nothing but criticism.
Don't feel bad, I cry often. It is healthy, helps in stress relief for your body. Not as much as I use to, now it gets less and less. But we all have good and bad days. Hang in there.

May God bless you through this struggle.

Dori- Glad your Mom is home, and eating well. I bet she missed you so much. Sorry your cousin is trying to get himself in the picture. But, you seem to have it under control.

@Dorianne--douchecanoe lol. Loved that. I've had cousin (who was never
around until parents declined), drinking, drugging "handyman"/adopted
son, variety of schmoozy church types, all who engage in excessive flattery
and new bestie vibes to try and grasp onto my father's financials. It is sooooo
aggravating. No one seems to consider that he might need every damn cent.
Sheesh. And of course guess who does all the work??

I have missed a lot.

Golden I think I just read your mother is 106. Glad she is okay.

Dori hug, hug, hug. Glad your mom is better. Caregiving is not for punks. (LoL). Its just plain wierdness that we feel guilty when we are sick. I clearly remember my mother just fussing at me on way home from a near death pnemonia. "do you know how sick you were?!" I dont know what your health system is like but I wish you the best in this stressful situation. You deserve a break; we are only human flesh and blood.. we get sick we bleed, we cry we hurt just like everyone else. I acutally had to listen to my inner thought saying I needed to start taking care of myself for a change. Anyways rest easy. Enjoy the little freedom you have now because it'l be right back to the drawing board before you know it. I have forgotten the new word you shared a while back which was so funny, seems you have a gift. Cous is in for a nice little shock!

Amarie, You are in the right forum. this site has saved my sanity, my self esteem, so much more. I reached out and I got a diverse weatlth of help and information. I learned about narcisssism which is what I was dealing with was the first thing. Then there was a lot more to come and still does. The site is full of wonderful loving people going through or have been there done that. Keep posting, keep venting. Its hard to believe and digest some of the things my family does or did. Some things I find that I am still in denial but the understanding and support goes a long way around here. So keep posting. You are not alone. And for sure there is going to be someone out here whose advice will help change your life. I had quite a few of those. You will get witty, honest, funny, loving, understanding. Welcome aboard.

Thanks Dorianne. It's nice to hear from someone who cares -I broke down in tears from reading your response.

I was planning on calling the social worker today. I need help with my mother's meds and I am hoping they can help me with that first. I have to get a lawyer to protect any assets mother may have. I don't want the home(s) to take advantage of her. And lawyers are expensive. Anyways that is my plan today-call the SW. I appreciate your ideas and support!!! Anyone else like to comment please do. The support helps.

I hope your cousin will leave you alone so you can have peace with your mom. Peace for now.

Speaking of dysfunctional families.....

Yesterday mom's sister phoned mom's landline about 5 times and finally left a message, apologizing to mom for "everything that upset you" and saying that she wants to be friends again. Ok, that's nice. THEN, she called again today, just as I was heading out the door to get mom. I told her what had been going on, and she asked me to get mom to call her. Ok.

THEN....hooboy. We'd been home about 30 minutes when the phone rang. Sure enough, mom's sister. Mom answered, and I don't know what exactly was said, but basically her sister talked for two minutes, and when mom hung up, she said, "Apparently S---- (my cousin) wants to call me."

Dunno if you guys remember my cousin, my mom's nephew. I broke up his relationship a couple of months ago when I called the RCMP on their mutual domestic violence towards each other, because I was afraid for my aunt.

Even my grandfather used to say, "S---- only visits when he wants money." That turned out to be the only times he called my mother after grandad died, as well. The last 2 times, I put my foot down. In the first instance, he phoned over and over, wrote epic messages to her on Facebook, begging, trying to guilt mom into co-signing a mortgage. Because he was so "burdened" with caring for her sister and, you know, had a terrible childhood and the family owes him something I guess? (Wake up sweetie, we all had terrible childhoods.) I stepped in and told him to take a flying leap. So then he found a new girlfriend and miraculously had a co-signer on a new mortgage.

After she broke up with him, he couldn't get a re-mortgage on his own, so he called and wrote to my mom begging AGAIN. AGAIN I told him to jump in a lake. (We actually had a back-and-forth on Facebook messenger that I found wholly satisfying, from a telling-someone-off point of view.) So he slunk away and AGAIN, he found a new girlfriend to co-sign a new mortgage, on a different place. That was the relationship I just called the RCMP on.

WHAT do you suppose he wants to chat with my mother about?

He's such a douchecanoe. He's so sleazy and gross, oozing false charm all over everything like greasy slime! And what's up with these women who co-sign mortgages with men they barely know? How dumb do you have to be?

Mom said, "What do you think he wants? Money, probably." I told her to just let me handle it. Which I would anyway, since bro and I have POA. Cousin doesn't know that yet. I'm kind of looking forward to telling him. Mwahahaha.

golden - I think I still need a proper break! I realized it trying to get mom back home. I'm going to talk to the SW again about what's available, and see if I can do a planned respite.

Well, mom is home, happily ensconced on the couch in front of Call the Midwife. I actually got half a salad with chicken and about a third of a baked potato into her tonight! Which is possibly more "real" food than she's eaten at home in months. (Maybe she appreciates it more after eating hospital food??) I think she's fine. The physiotherapist did see her, and did suggest in-home physiotherapy, which I said yes to. Not sure what it will do at this point, but if it helps....

amarie - welcome to the dysfunctional families thread! I think you'll find lots of us here have been through some really frustrating stuff with our siblings and other family members. I have one brother, who does nothing, who rarely visits or calls. So I'm on my own with this too, looking after mom at home - but no little ones to look after, thank heavens. Honestly, first thing I'd suggest is getting in touch with a social worker. The social worker at my mom's renal unit has been a lifeline to me! I would have had no idea what to do or how to organize any of it, without her, and she's done so much of the organizing for me. I'm not sure how this works in the US - if there's a SW attached to the facility she's in, or if you can go through a hospital, or.....anyway, maybe some of your fellow Americans can help out with this? Also....breathe. I know you are totally overwhelmed, but you will only be able to do one thing at a time anyway, so maybe we can help figure out what one thing that should be!

My mother has dementia and is 85 years old. My sister took her into live for about over a year until my sister became burnt out. So she made the plan to move her in a senior living home and made the final say in that process without including my mother or I. I tried to help when I could if she asked, but she turned down my offers. Although, her job also effected her and she developed anxiety. I had no idea how bad it was until my sister became distant and then met our mom and I to tell us how she felt. She pretty much blamed me for not helping out enough and told my mother that she was exhausted from taking care of her. We have another sister and 2 brothers that live out of State. My sister is close with 1 of my brothers. I tried to be understanding and stepped up helping out more. My sister went on disability temporarily to get well. After going back to work she reverted back to having anxiety. I kept my distance because she was not nice at times. Then I get a call from her with little detail that she wanted to retire early to move in the state where my brother lives in about 2-3 months. But, she had 2 more years left before retiring. I was supportive at first because I thought it would be later down the road. I get a call the next week from her dumping all the responsibilities of caring for our mother. I was overwhelmed and upset. She also told me that I had to figure everything out myself on what was needed to take care of her. I also will have to move her into a new home because she will have to go on Medicaid when her money runs out. I am distraught, crying a lot, loosing sleep and I am having trouble being understanding about the my sister's situation. I have not spoken to her since. I feel so hurt that she and my other siblings have not offered us/me any help when my mother's memory started to decline. I realize that they live else where, but you would think that they would connect to find out how we are doing. I am still raising 3 young children. My husband owns several businesses to support our family while I am a stay at home mom. My husband can help some, but he is working his butt off and I don't expect him to do it. My poor mother feels hurt about the situation and feels she is a burden to me and misses her kids. If anyone may be in a similar situation I would love to here your story and take any advice on how to deal with the anger I have for my siblings. I feel alone, rejected and abandoned by my family for closing their eyes/running away from this issue.

dori - you needed the break!!! Hope mum's return works out ok. You know she has mobility problems. I guess they are just doing their job. Glad you have some care in place. Hope her lip biting and BP issues disappear once she is home with you. Looks like this flu is pretty widespread. Keep us updated.

golden - I suspect you are probably right. It actually was kind of nice - if I HAD to be sick - to have three days with no other people around. To sleep when I wanted and just stumble around the apartment in my underwear are luxuries I took for granted!

SO I just heard from home support - they managed to get a morning service for 8:15 tomorrow morning - which is cutting it close but it will do. And a dinner service, but no bedtime service because so many people are sick (it's not just me!). Then they're going to work on the rest.

Right after that, the SW called. She was down in mom's ward when the doc came around. Apparently his concern NOW is mom's physical mobility and he wants her assessed by physio, and would prefer her to stay till after dialysis tomorrow. But the SW told her my concerns, so he was going to try and get the physio person there today. And I have to sign a form taking responsibility for her discharge. Which....fine.

I guess I'm going to make my way to the hospital shortly, then.

dori - (((((()hugs))))) between a rock and a hard place. Somehow I think you needed the time to yourself to recover. Hope you can work something out with the sw. I too totally understand the stress of having more people around. Hope mum's transition to home goes smoothly. Frankly my mother is fine in an nh and I can get sick in the comfort of my own home, or in a hotel if I am travelling as is the case this past week. I don't know how you do it. The system ought to have a plan for caregivers when they get sick.

duck - hope your mum had a good birthday. I am glad you looked after yourself. Hope the visit to your son happens soon and it is a great break for you.

sharyn -thx. I am concerned about the effects of smoke lasting for years. Hope your schedule changes before long - sounds like too much!

Guest - oh nooooo!!!! I think I would stay home. What a mine field! No doubt the men are planning on leaving the cath care to you again. Keep us informed!

cm - good suggestions.

Wanted to get some stuff done today, but the fm has kicked in. The realtor and bank lady are up to date. The realtor is watching out for other units for me, and I have an apptmt next week with the bank lady to adjust my pre-approval so as to be ready for next time. Eventually the right unit will come along.

Looking forward to getting home tomorrow. It's been a while.

I was going to keep editing my last post but that's just confusing me.

WHY is this so dumb? What the eff are caregivers supposed to do when they're sick? You have to sit in the ER with your LO for hours - while you're sick - and hope some doctor you've never met before is sympathetic enough to check them into the hospital for you. Then when you feel even a little better so you can bring your LO home, your home support services aren't in place. But you need them more than ever, because you've been sick!

And you COULD put your LO in a care facility for respite, or if they need to be somewhere, you could just send them with this $80 stretcher service....but you need to organize all that in advance, so you'd just better KNOW when you're going to get sick!!

OMG I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW! This is RIDICULOUS! I can totally see pre-arranging things if you need a break or you've got a planned medical procedure or something....but who the heck KNOWS when they're going to get SICK!!??? No! You wake up, you're sick! Boom!

Everyone asks, don't I have any family or friends that can help out? Sure, and they do (my friends anyway), when they can. But they all have jobs, and parents and kids and grandkids to look after themselves.

The health care system here places this HUGE emphasis on keeping people at home, get them out of the hospital and get them home, where patients do better. BUT HOW? How are we supposed to do that, when basically our options as caregivers are a) kill ourselves trying to do everything no matter what, or b) stick our LOs permanently in a care facility where they don't want to be, plus didn't y'all just say to get them HOME????

ARGLEBLARGLEAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edit:  I think it's time I write to the Minister of Health.

((((Duck))))) When are you going to visit your son? For how long?

Guest - I think I would MURDER those men if they'd done that to me....leaving me "in charge" of someone's toileting needs like that! Sounds like a nightmare you've got coming up. I think I'd probably just get very drunk and make myself incapable of "helping." Someone needs toileting? "OMG, I'm so tipsy, the room is spinning!" Plop down clumsily in the nearest chair. Maybe cover my mouth like I might vomit, too.

Well, getting mom out of the hospital is kind of a schmozzle so far. Apparently when someone is in the hospital, home support "suspends" services. Even though I've been leaving messages with updates every day! So now I have no idea if anything will be in place when I bring her home. No services tonight for sure, anyway.  PLUS I had arranged for early service tomorrow morning - I have to get mom out of the apartment early, because the Hydro workers will be in the area and have to shut off the power at 9 AM (mom lives on the 6th floor - no power, no elevator). Now we might not have that, either, unless scheduling can find someone. Waiting on home support to get back to me about what they can pull together....

Then the social worker says the doctor hasn't been yet, and she's not sure if he'll discharge her because her blood pressure has been high for a couple of days. Well, her blood pressure is high because of her anxiety about being in the hospital! I told the SW I was taking mom home today regardless, because I'm not leaving her there to self-harm. She said she'd check in with mom and the charge nurse after rounds and get back to me. Waiting for that call now, also....

Sigh. I think it really would've been easier to suck it up and keep her home while I was sick.

Guest, just in case, put a sling in your purse and if there's an emergency pop it on and say "oh dear I'd love to help but my arm..."

Whose child is niece? It might be no bad idea to send the bride's parents a "for the avoidance of doubt I am not going anywhere near MIL's smelly catheter" email too, as well as alerting them to the proper pickle MIL and FIL are making of their travel arrangements.

My eldest niece is getting married in July on a Friday evening. The entire extended family is invited. MIL and FIL are planning to attend. It is a four hour drive each way and an overnight stay. Please note this is MIL with a catheter and late stage Parkinsons usually requiring transport chair for more than 20 feet who lives in SNF due to care level required. MIL has not had an overnight stay with only FIL to help since she got the catheter. So the hinting and help hunting has begun. FIL: How are you getting to wedding? Hubs: driving. FIL: Oh, so are we but we’ll have to stay overnight too far to drive 8 hours in one day. No hotels available but FIL got a suite... Hubs: we found plenty of rooms online. MIL: we are doing a dry run for a night before wedding. Practice for care then we are ready. We can manage just fine. Me to Hubs: i may not go to wedding. New job. And the last big family party/do before the catheter? Hubs, FIL and BIL left MIL with me. She kept hinting about how much help she needed with a potty run and I finally rounded up hubs and FIL to help MIL instead of me. I Just Can’t. And a wedding? Who will help with fancy dress getting ready and pics? They don’t want to hire home health and she’s used to overnight aides. Think positive thoughts...

Dori, it would be stressful having people coming in your home. I know I need my down time as an introvert or I get grumpy. I can see how it could wear you down setting one up more easily for illness.

Golden, passing on the condo with cigarette smoke is a good call. The smell penetrates everything including wood furniture. A heating/AC company told us the exposure to second smoke continues for years because it gets trapped in the ventilation system.

Duck, happy birthday to your mom! I hope you feel better soon. Lots of stomach viruses going on in my area, lasting up to 5 days.

I have been so tired for 2 weeks now. Working 10-8 then turn around and come in the next day at 6 am is hard. I’m hoping scheduling gets better once the new girl is trained.

Happy Birthday Ma!! Today was my mothers birthday she turned 82. First time I have ever missed being with her on her birthday. I was feeling really bad, when I woke to go to work on Sunday I truly started to call in but then I know how hard it is to get replacements and it would have been the first time I ever called in sick. I woke with a terrible headahe and aches and pains in my back and stomach. no fever but flu like symptoms, my eyeballs ached. then as I forced myself up I realize the signs that it was a severe case of gas. He hurt my stomach and head to walk. I made it to work but upon the end of my shift at 7 this morning I just knew I could not handle the walk to the bus then the train and then home then back again. I asked client's mom if I could stay the day. she says no problem. I felt so much better but I missed my mothers birthday.Client's mother said next time dont call just leave a note. she says I sounded miserable. Something in my head kept saying learn to look out for yourself. Look out for yourself for a change. I felt bad and then also that I bring my mother breakfast in the morning and dinner before I leave. It wwould have been nice to be able to notify my sister and say I wont be in. but then It would havse been useless as she would not readf or automatically delete. she always denies anycontact I try to make. She claims I do nothing and I suspect when I go to visit my son she is going to get a reality check. She is in charge of her care and does not see a need for a homeattendant. I was looking into memory care and a adult day centers before I learned I was blocked for her care. And its very hard cleaning up behind my mother the things she does. I have to get a fridge on my floor. Friday I came home to a pan of raw meet on the floor for the dog and poop in the living room.

When I left the house Sunday, I was greatful my mother was not downstairs so I didnt have to lift microwave off fridge and heat her meal. I was into much pain to go upstairs and see if she was up there. All the locks were on and my sister and nephew always take her and say nothing. I called out for her before I left and felt okay leaving.
God Bless you Ma on your birthday.

Golden, my goodness that is such a blessing, your mother is 103. God Bless her.

Hey Dori, Sorry to hear about your mother. Hope she recovers soon and I hope its not to late to wish you luck on that raffle. My girlfriend had a yellow camaro

I hope all are well, with each burp or pass of gas I feel a little better.

Rays of light love and peace to all

Well, I went to see mom. The entire left side of her lower lip is red and purple and swollen. Why? She's been chewing on it, she says. Why? She was panicking, she says.

Also her blood pressure was through the roof, which means they want to give her an extra dialysis run on Saturday.

Also today she lost her nice private area with the big window, to someone whose death is "imminent" and who has a large family coming (so they need the space). Back to one wall, three curtains, and a view of the bathroom. Ugh.

Not a good situation.

They won't discharge her until I talk to the renal social worker tomorrow and make sure I "have a plan." But there's no way I'm NOT bringing her home tomorrow. I can't leave her there self-harming out of terror.

I AM better. Not perfect, but better. Hoping I can figure out a decent plan with the social worker tomorrow, at least for the NEXT time I'm sick.  I'm not sure more home support is the answer....sometimes I just find it sooooo stressful having strange people coming in throughout the day. I have to wonder if part of what got me run down is just being an introvert with no privacy....

When hubby was sick earlier this year was acting very spacey and odd he had to see the urologist. I suggested to the urologist that DH might have a UTI and that was why DH was acting spacey. Urologist said no way that there was no connection to UTI and the brain. So I called later in the day to insist that DH be tested for a UTI and the nurse yelled at me and said there was no connection.
So we went to DH primary doc and he did a UTI test rt away and found he had a UTI. So DH took meds for it and got a lot better. Urologist was wrong and had never heard of a UTI causing spaciness. Go figure.

dori - glad you are better and thx for the tip about the floors and that you are returning the cleaner, Definitely don't make big purchases when you are sick.

veronica - good idea but I doubt that would fly.

Apparently smoking can lower the value of a home up to 30% and getting rid of third hand smoke, which is very toxic, is not easy. The more I think about it, the more I think this is not the unit I want. So the decision has been made - it is not a go.

The right one will come along at some point. Meanwhile we will declutter and ready the house for sale. Lots of work there yet.

Golden you could include in your offer that the seller has to get rid of the smoke but R will know what to do he sounds like a very resourceful guy. Keep getting better

Hey golden - how are YOU doing today? I hope you get a good deal on that unit!

I am feeling a TON better today. I can't even believe it. If you'd asked me last night I would've said I'm still just as dizzy as ever - I was starting to worry about my blood pressure and everything that goes along with that! But I feel fine today. No dizziness at all. I guess I just really needed a proper rest!

I just phoned about when they're discharging mom. Apparently the doc was in this morning and there are no notes about discharge yet. Maybe he is waiting for me? Or maybe waiting till the renal social worker is back at work tomorrow. Anyway. I am going to go visit her when she's done dialysis. I really miss her!

Edit:  I'm going to go out now and return a Bissel "multi-surface" wet-dry cleaner I bought the other day.  Don't make expensive purchases when you're sick!  I just wanted a vacuum.  I think for the price I paid, I could return this dumb, complicated thing and get a good vacuum AND a steam mop for the hard floors.  (DON'T ever install dark laminate floors!  They show every speck within hours of cleaning and look so, so, so gross when they're not perfect!)