notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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PS: How come the credit card didn't write off that money, since it was identity fraud? You could call and talk to someone there.
Have you considered enrolling in something like Lifelock? In our current morve i had to apply for power and TV. In both cases they did a credit check. Within hours there was a call from Lifelock asking if i knew about these. That way you would have known immediate that there was trouble at the crossroads. Getting that fake drivers license was an offense in itself.
opened after that notice.
I hope tomorrow will bring a good response on the car debt.
Becky it’s just horrible they get away with the crimes.
You don't want this to happen to you. I have spent all of the money from my part of mom's estate paying off all the stuff they did. You can explain to creditor's until your blue in the face - they don't care what you say or what you prove - they want their money. I could have filed for bankruptcy, but I inherited money and bankruptcy court would have made me pay. So I went ahead and paid and at least avoided a few legal fees and I held onto my house and car. The whole time I kept thinking I'll prove everything and it will all get fixed. Worst year or so ever.
You are looking for live in care for him. It is very expensive call around to agencies and start using others for Care now. He may become somewhat accustomed to others if you start now. An I am sure you need the break.
chris -I hope you don't go
becky - such a horrible family. It boggles my mind that you have to pay when you didn't sign for anything.
veronica -hope you are feeling better,
dori -how r u doing?
Wonderful summer weather here, flood alerts a bit south of here and snow forecast for the southern part of the province. Go figure
Take care all.
Can you change all the numbers on anything you have like ss, driver license bank accounts credit cards. Notify everyone not to accept anything from nephew in your name unless you are physically present, then file an order of protection.
He is 72 and I am 78 in good health and good shape. I walk 12-16 miles a week and prepare healthy meals for both of us, however, I did have a TIA four years ago and it is likely that is how I will go.
With Traumatic Brain Injury, there are often rages from frustration and sadness over not being the person one was before.. and it is difficult to be around. My husband has two sons, one an hour away and the other in Hawaii. It has been made clear to me that they will not have him at home with them when I pass.
They are good men but they (rather the oldest who lives an hour away) have a plateful from overseeing care for their mother who is suffering from MS for 16 yrs. So I get it.
I am looking at ways that he can continue at home with caregivers during the day(he is in good health) but finding people to stay the night or even have a live-in is near impossible.
Ideas?
When will this mess ever end? I guess Monday I'll have to spend half a day trying to get information on what that little jerk did. I sat and cried for half an hour and then realized that wasn't going to help. I feel physically ill over this.
My dd got a part time job for Tuesday-Thursday. She will be working with me in the deli,haha! I have morning shifts and she will work 2-8 on her hubs days off. My manager hired her via email then called her, this is so funny because the deli manager hires people very quickly. Very seldom will we actually have the same shift, maybe once a week at most.
People like your mother mask their slipping very well. Everyone around them chalks it up to their loved one’s lifelong difficult personality and tsk-tsks about how stubborn he/she is getting in his/her old age.
Truth is, it’s neurological deterioration. The lifelong personality disorder is now just the co-host.
A month of Mom behind the wheel in unfamiliar environments is a terrible idea. (Chris, you don’t drive, right?)
Is there any way this trip can be stopped? If not, refuse to go. Tell Mom now and tell her often that she needs to find another patsy. Or she goes alone.
Chris, stress exacerbates your issues. I know your mother does a number on you, but you are not required to be her co-pilot. You need to take care of your mind and your body and your kid and your life. That’s more than enough.
When Mom was your age, would she have signed on for someone else’s bad idea like this? Heck no.
Mom pushes all your buttons and drags you into her crap. She sees no reason for this to turn out any different. So you need to assert yourself. Now. Say no and stay strong.
Good luck, Chris. I know this woman gave birth to you and all, but she’s killing you. Please stand up to her. Not in the form of the round-robin arguments she routinely uses to wear you down. But a big, fat, unshakable NO.
((((hugs))))
But now she has apprised me of the possibility of being on the road together for almost month. I don't like traveling with her. When it comes to travel, I want consistency. But she loves perpetual ambiguity. Meaning she loves making lots of unplanned 'visitations'.