
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Hi Chris!
Well. It was all going good till home support came. Then we all started talking about Trump.
Without getting "political" here about it, I'll say.....nobody here is a fan, but my brother misunderstood my comments somehow as being supportive or admiring. (I was TRYING to say, "don't discount his ability to influence voters," because that's what everybody did during the last US election.) So there was that, and I still need to fix that, because I don't want anyone to have that impression of me!
Then bro decided if mom was getting into her pajamas, he was going to head over to the hotel and get some sleep himself. (Even though mom would've stayed up in her jammies till the wee hours, just because he was here.)
THEN, even though she was totally ready for sleep, mom wouldn't let the home support worker help her get changed or washed....instead she turned the "mean" on the worker! She refused all help and went to bed in her clothes. I think she was mad at the worker for (in her mind) sending bro away with her presence.
None of this was the worker's fault. She actually stuck around for a half hour after mom was in bed, just to chat and keep my spirits up.
So.
I mean....
Ugh.
My family. Is so annoying.
Bro did eat a brownie though.
I am on a statin for my blood pressure. As is my elderly mother.
She had a complete physical a few days ago. My mother's GP told her to cut back on her calories. Then my mother proceeded to tell me this info. But not in a 'passing along info' fashion. My mother has done this before. She read that statins can cause aches in the arms' n' legs'.
So, When I told her about feeling like my arm was going to collapse while on my bike. She immediately judged that to be the same kind of ache she was having, and felt justified in calling my GP.
I happen to hear her calling from the kitchen, while I was in the bathroom. I was absolutely livid upon hearing her say this to my GP's nurse. I immediately did my 'morning routine'(shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth), and ran out of the house. I got on my bike wearing my bike camera and sped through PM-Rush traffic.
Upon reaching my GP's office. I surprised the nurse when I told her I heard the whole phone conversation from the bathroom. Despite the door being closed. I told the GP, that while my arm has ached at times, while on my bike. That is the only time.
I even showed the GP the video I had taken w/ my bike camera. On the way to his office. I proved to him that my elderly mother was really being irresponsible.
Dorianne, your brother sounds like most of the 54- year- olds in Vancouver. Does he jog by any chance? Eat sushi? Walk around with a tight grip on his Starbuck's trying to avoid getting hit by the sea of umbrellas?
All joking aside, he better show up and when he does, force feed him those brownies.
Becky - That is amazing! Kudos to your family, I couldn't manage that! Smart to take the devices away at night.....honestly, I think I need someone to do that to me, lol!
Well....bro said he'd arrive around 6-ish, when mom is home from dialysis. I made a new pan of brownies last night - just one this time!....plus I already ate one out of it!! (That's what you get for disappointing me.) And I just put a meatloaf in the oven. Fingers crossed I won't have to eat everything myself this time....
Gershun - Good luck picking my brother put of a crowd - he's a fit but kind of nondescript 54-year old balding guy with glasses. (I got all the hair in the family.) Usually wearing a serious expression. When we were younger, one of my friends thought he was cute, but I don't see it, lol. Don't let him know I said that!
I will say my brother has done well this week. He's gotten them up, dressed, breakfast, ready for school and daycare, snacks packed, etc. He took them shopping last week and got them dresses, shoes, etc. suitable for Easter in snowy Maine and took them to church and Sunday school. He's made sure the 5-year old has gotten her kindergarten stuff ready every evening. He got her enrolled in ballet class. So he's doing a good job considering his total lack of experience.
Save that Wollop for Frick and frack
So you can put that big leather tote bag you were getting out of winter storage back for now, Gershun. Lol!
I'm trying to imagine how he'd react to being beaten with a strange woman's purse, though.....lol!
Your brother better show up. I'm in Canada too. I'll catch a ferry over to where you are and beat him up..............with my purse.........or something like that. :P
It does pain me, though, to have to be so nice to someone when I'm just trying to get them to do the right thing.
Last night I had this dream I was a high school student, on some kind of forced "volunteer" program (that probably doesn't exist) in the law courts. There were half a dozen of us young women who were there to observe and be "assistants" for a lawyer and his client, at some kind of hearing (not a trial). I discovered the client was to be Bill Cosby, when I saw him outside the law courts, posing for press pictures like a d***ed hero.
So, in this dream, I walked right into the courtroom, looked at all the young women, and said, loudly, "Y'all know you're here to run errands for a motherf***ing rapist, right?" And I turned on my heel and walked out, past all the horrified lawyers and courtroom staff.
That's how I would like to roll in my real life. But when I follow my angry little heart, I usually get in trouble.
I still can't decide whether I felt better or worse when one brother dropped off mother's radar altogether. So completely uninvolved that she actually forgot him. M'm. That didn't feel great either.
Are you taking bets on Show/No Show tomorrow?
"No mom. Today's Wednesday. He's coming Friday."
"Friday?" Deep sigh. I know she'll probably sleep all through tomorrow now.
I feel sad for her. He didn't come for Christmas like he said. He didn't come for Easter like he said. He almost never calls. She's like a little kid sometimes, with her mind going.....this is like being a divorced mom, watching your kid sitting vigil at the living room window, watching for daddy's car all weekend....
Anyways spring is here, April showers bring May flowers and flowers are just beautiful.
Anyways spring is here, April showers bring May flowers and flowers are just beautiful.
Anyways spring is here, April showers bring May flowers and flowers are just beautiful.