
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Becky, I hope your results today show nothing too serious.
Dori, how is the extra home health working out for you?
Golden, good to hear your mom has not gotten the flu. For many, getting over it has been a real problem.
Glad, getting a new home is exciting. I love our new home, no hidden problems to contend with like our old one. It seemed whenever I tried to redo something, there was a bigger problem found.
Trying, I think we are done with snow here for the year. Raining today, highs are in the 50’s and something’s the 60’s.
Replaced my phone over the weekend. Today I open again but close Thursday and Friday. I will need to stay busy after work so I stay awake later, or I will have to take a nap.
We found a restaurant for fish and chips. It is a restaurant that is better than fast food but not as expensive a Red Lobster. We will go back again, it was very good.
Been kind of up to High Do around here the last couple of days. Mom's been sick - threw up in the car yesterday. And her hospital bed arrived yesterday, too - had to get rid of the old one and clean out the room first, all while she was out. Ciggie burns in the rug, good thing this is not a rental! Then catching up today on the other chores I didn't do yesterday, fitting them around my respite break and best guy friend coming over for dinner.
This delusion mom has had about being kidnapped by the telephone company....it seems to be persisting, but only for a few hours after dialysis. I guess dialysis is really starting to make her loopy, but she doesn't seem troubled by the delusion, or hallucination, or whatever she is experiencing.
I can't really get the whole story out of her, but I THINK she believes she's been transported somewhere far away, as she is always amazed that we are right back in town when she exits the hospital. And also the "girls" at the phone company are out on strike ("Good for them!" she says - ever the union woman), which is somehow connected. And she is constantly asking how we (me and the nurses, I think) "pulled it off," like it was a surprise party that actually caught her by surprise. I'd love to know what's going on in her head!
The phone company isn't on strike by the way. But I'm learning to go along with whatever she says. Yesterday I even started singing "Solidarity Forever" in the car on the way home, and she totally joined in! I should see if I can find a copy of Norma Rae for us to watch.
Hope you've all had a good night. I said I'd catch up, but I'm feeling dopey again....think I might try to catch a couple more hours myself....
Trying, Snow here has been bad. Our backyard has mountains of snow from the driveway. Haulers are coming next Monday to haul it off to the snow dump. Hope yours has stopped.
Golden, yes, have a contract on a lot, house plan chosen, contractor lined up. Should be under way by early April. Exciting and absolutely terrifying. It will be great, last home I owned was built in 1896, it was always something to get done or fixed. A new home will be wonderful, planned for south facing driveway.😊
How is that phone, Sharyn?
dori - hope things are working better with more help for you. Look after your back while lifting!
sharyn - the pits about your cell phone.
trying - good to see you back. I understand about needing a week to detox.
Becky - I saw somewhere you are teaching again Yay! When I retired at 73, it took me about 6 years to adjust. I had worked all my adult life.
Glad - building a new place is exciting! Do you have the lot chosen? bought?
everyone - check in and let us know how you are
I have not been sleeping well, so am going back to sleep after R leaves around 6 in the morning -It is a totally new routine and taking some adjustments. It means I am lucky if I am fully woken up by noon.
The NH had a flu outbreak, so I had to OK a 10 day course of Tamiflu for mother. I haven't heard that she got it. She hasn't had flu in years.
Still waiting for both my lenses to come in to the eye place. I have had several calls about the right one , but no one seems to know anything about the left one, I am beginning to wonder if they ordered it or if they are there, but in different places.
Love my new copper pot and have used it several times. The wok is very large which will be great for all the veggies you add to a stir fry. I think I can use it for braised red cabbage also, as the cabbage is usually too big for any pot/pan I have used.
Take care all and have a good day!
Hope you all are doing well!
It’s a beautiful day here, spring is definitely on its way. Close to 60 degrees but nights are still chilly down to 25-27 degrees. Have a good day everyone!
Sharyn - it's best to avoid trying to start or shut it down for about 48 hours. Otherwise you might steam-fry some of the circuitry.
I have killed 3 laptops with spilled water, and one with a bowl of raisin bran (earning me the nickname "Cereal Killer" for awhile), if it's any consolation. Oh, and I also dropped a sound mixing board on another. (The mixer survived, at least.)
Pop it on a clean fluffy towel and leave it somewhere pleasantly warm and dry, Sharyn. It may forgive you.
I accidentally dropped my phone in a glass of water. Yes it died even though I pulled it out immediately. Not my day today, ugh!
East, The waivers or allotment to pay caregivers in MA are hard to come by and take awhile to obtain. More importantly, you have your own and your husband's health to consider. Just keep saying NO!
Everyone on the east coast, stay safe and hoping power outages are very short.
I moved mom to my town - she's been here nearly 3 years, and I've been staying with her since June. I regret it! All of it! Don't do it! I am sticking with it right now, b/c my mom has been given a diagnosis of less than 6 months....but honestly, even then I'm not sure how long I'm gonna make it.
In all honesty, I think it's WORSE because it's me who's her caregiver. With home support (now that we have some), nurses, etc., she is sweet, polite, and cooperative. With me, her daughter, she is combative and resistant, and everything - every little thing - becomes a huge fight. I think she basically wanted me as her caregiver because I'm her daughter, and she still thought she had authority over me.
And if your mom is so much like mine.....yup, I think everything will be a fight. Also....you're still going to need home support - for YOU (nobody can do this alone) - and your mom won't like it, so that will probably be your first big, nasty fight with her.
I was a desperate mess when I found this forum/thread. My mom stole my happiness as well as my life. I was in a near-constant rage. She was killing me with her absolute refusal to cooperate in her own care, and again, because I'm her kid, it didn't bother her one bit to get nasty with me about it. Sometimes I'm still surprised I made it this far.
Anyway. Don't do it, that's my advice.