The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Dori, my mom was a lifetime negative. She was borderline personality disorder and even believed the government and AMA was trying to kill off the elderly. She talked about it often. I think to some extent, the negativity is part of the era she grew up in, being somewhat poor in wealth, living through the Great Depression, and learning the negativity from her parents. It can bring you down listening to someone talk like that all the time. Try redirecting her attention to something else if possible.

Still dealing with this sinus infection, ugh!

Have a safe trip Golden.

Becky, hope you are starting to feel a little better re headache.

Have a restful night all.

Dori, My Mom was very negative and self-centered. Probably lifelong for her. I think many of her family members were that way. I don't like to be brought down like that. I prefer to be positive, although there have been many times that it would have been easy to slide down that rabbit hole. I think you have to stay upbeat even when it's difficult. If you don't you slide down into blaming others for your problems. I think it goes back to you have to love yourself, be your own best friend and remember that no one can make someone else happy. Your a light person - stay that way.

Phew! Holy doodle, I think I finally caught up! On this thread anyway. There sure is a lot of stuff going on for lots of folks right now! I....don't even know how to comment on individual stuff.....it's already 10:30 at night, lol.

I do know somebody (Ali??) was writing about getting a memory foam mattress....? I just got one too! Slept on it at home for the first time this past weekend. What a strange experience! I settled in Friday night, and as I sank down, I thought, "This ain't gonna work." But Saturday morning is the first time I've woken up with no pain in my dumb knee for 2 years. Getting out of the thing is a whole other story though....

Bruce is fine, I think. He's a bit p.o.'d about being cut off people food and having his Temptations cut back. (Probably the cause of his pancreatitis.) But other than that, he's running and jumping and seems pretty normal. I am trying to compensate with extra toys.

So, after the first 2 weekends at home, I decided to spend the 3rd dealing with "light." Not just metaphorically (although, yeah, metaphorically), but also I have all these weird little lamps and lights in nooks and crannies - like, I have a glass head that I filled with string lights. I have one of those salt lamps. I have weird glass accent lamps from Ikea and others I put together from thrift store finds. Most of the bulbs have died, or started to. So I decided to start cleaning up all the lights and replacing bulbs, pick away at it.

Anyway. Best guy friend came over Friday to help me get my music gear up my stairs, and he surprised me by bringing one of his lamps over.....this weird old floor lamp that, when we first met, I asked him to will to me. On Friday, he grinned and said, "Well, I thought, why wait till people are dead?" And he'd cleaned up the fluted glass shades, put fresh bulbs in, polished the brass....the funny thing is, he didn't KNOW I'd been planning to deal with the lighting that weekend! It's funny how your friends (chosen family) really do "get" you. We had an interesting talk about what it's been like for me, living under mom's depression.

It's interesting, because one of the few things mom and I still argue about is light. She wants the lights OFF. She wants heavy curtains and she wants them CLOSED. This isn't even a new, dementia-related thing. She's always been this way. "The light bothers me." The light always bothers her. Now that I'm older, I can see that it's depression-related, just as much as her addictions were/are.

Gosh, it's no wonder I couldn't wait to get home to my south-facing windows! I don't even HAVE curtains in the living room anymore. In fact, I remember when I first went to view the place, all those years ago....I walked into the living room, saw the sunlight glinting off the river, and thought, "I want to live here."

It's funny how long it took me to shake off the weight of my mother's depression after I moved out. But I must have done a good job, because I forgot it was like this until I started staying with her last June. Or maybe in the past, I just thought her preference for darkness and closed curtains was part of the alcoholism.

I guess maybe I'm trying to figure out why some people choose to live in the darkness and other people choose to live in the light.  Not just physical light and dark, but also metaphorical light and dark.  Is it a choice? Does she really choose darkness, or does she have no choice? I don't know. I know I deliberately chose to live in the light.  I also know that this "preference" illustrates wholly the difference between me and my mother. In amongst the kidney disease and dementia and addiction history, I somehow forgot that mom's depression has always been with us, snuffing out light wherever it sees it.

No wonder she gets so mean with me sometimes....I've always been a positive, "sunny" person, and it must drive her around the bend.

I hope you all don't mind this strange rumination, and I hope you all have a very good night!

According to Cleveland Clinic and National Institutes of Health
Co Q 10 dosage should be 100 mg to 200 mg; over 200 mg daily should be under doctor's supervision. Over 200 mg the dose should be divided.

Ali I was taking 20mg. I felt up and good and running like a new spung chicken. Then it wore off. I had ordered 200mg but it seemed to be too much for me I didnt feel right. the reading on it is good in so many way and for high blood pressure which is also an issue.
So sorry to hear about that sleeping and feeling tired. Hope it resolves soon. I dont have a clue. I do know that once in a while I will go into a deep long sleep and be amazed at how long I slept. Now with my mother knocking and I forgot to mention they are working on the house next door renovating so that sounds like they were right in the room. Theyve been on my level the last to weeks I dont know what they building there its just knock knock knock. They are diligent take a break a lil after one and right back at it. sundays also. So a sudden knock is a sleep breaker for me constantly. Or a different kind cause I take the melatonin, start looking at a series and then I dose.
Sleep deprivation is dangerous. It affects us in a lot of ways. I work nights for many many years off and on. When I first started I realizeed I couldnt do any business. I would be forgettful. leave my id or wallet and have to go back to whereever. Put clothes in washer and forget all about it. Once on a long distance drive I realized I was sleep with my eyes wide open drifting into another lane where car blew horn loud and long on me. Scared me bad all that could happen. Why I remember the coffee from my grandmother. Just stopping to get it the process wakes me up. Well I will tend to ramble and bbamble on and on with this and that.

I am also fresh stepping out of a funk I had myself in. Being ignored and blocked out by the sane people you see the most. I started feeling like I was guilty or maybe I had sdone something wrong. I do sometimes like I call my self rebellng by not cleaning up that pee and do the dog leaves. It turns to stinch it seems to only affect me. I leave it to see what is going to happen. Most time my mother if her mind is in it will discard a chuck. wont put one back down. Then I feel guilt and shame and anger because nephew and sister just walk through sit aaround it and do nothing. Even the garbage cans loaded. Sometimes I get tired of being the maid then get told I dont do anything. I am the only one who feeds my mother on a daily basis and clean and spend time with her talking mess. trying to laugh with her or redirecting her and telling her how she has to be careful. and explaining why the stove is not on and just giving her attention and kisses and trying to make her feel loved. Then I get the cold shoulder from two people who dont even go past the liveing room in to the dinning area kitchen or bathroom and notice a light not working or the fridge unplugged. Today I just left top door open when I left. Call myself letting my twisted see the things that need to be watched with my mother. It wasnt cold out and the gate to do was locked. This is after I mopped, layed chucks and emptied and changed the garbage cans before work. Its so funny how I didnt pay any mind to what no one was doing untill my mother and now my sister would lash out that I dont do anything. Anywyas thats why I am hopeful about this therapy. maybe I can get down to the real nitty gritty on my blocks and issues.

Rays of light and jpeace to all. I am off for a few. Hope you all stay well and keep your head up and shoulders back with a contagious smile.

Thanks golden for your words. Hope travels go well.
Sharyn we have a screech owl, I believe it is a screech owl, sometimes sounds like a scary jungle at night.
Duck remember, Fear, HE is a liar.
I hope everyone is having a bearable day and maintaining. much appreciation to all of you for just being you. May God bless.

I'll possibly stop feeling desperately tired, completely exhausted soon??? Oh, please please please let it be true. I fell asleep again at work today. It's ok, though, they're supportive and I get my work done, but it is WEIRD -- why am I so tired lately, even more so than I can remember being in many years? I can only guess that it's that I don't do my "sleep in day" 1-2x a week anymore. Every day is a work day now, but I get plenty of rest. In bed by 10pm, up at a late 8am or so. I don't think not-sleeping is an issue. WHO KNOWS. Counting the days until I can see/feel some help from the meds.

Duck, funny you should mention CoQ10. I bought a bottle of 400mg dose capsules last Sunday. I want to try a higher dose. It doesn't have toxicity levels until like 3k mg daily, as I recall. I have no clue if it really helps but I'm in a place to try things and that seemed like a good supplement to try higher dose.

Thanks, guys. I'm getting through and, right now, that's all that matters. I'm making it through one day at a time.

50's child, I'm SOOOOOO glad you called APS! In my humble opinion, you should just keep posting here!

Just popping in to say HI! Miss you all, hope I can come back in and finish catching up later this evening.

Smeshque, we have geese here in Idaho. They fly over twice a Day year round. From what I read, these are Canadian geese that decided to stay here because we have an abundance of food. There are many and farmers have problems because they roost in their fallow fields. We also have owls. I hear them or one of them at night hooting when I take Midget out. I have concerns with the owls and hawks since Midget is a small dog. We are very close to the Birds of Prey area near the snake river. It’s just down the road about 22 miles from us.

I am sorry to duplicate but I am shamelessly desperate. Yesterday I posted this to "Family & Relationships" but really really wanted to post to "Dysfunctional Families" specifically. Following copied from elsewhere on Aging Care. Longish. Began with my "Intractable Pain" question in the "Senior Health" forum on Jan. 20. Want to thank those of you who posted for me there, but whose names I recognize from "Dysfunctional," as well as others because all of you were spot on. Especially the person who wondered why I had trouble with APS -- you removed my fog.

Sis is still recovering at home, though returns to work today after another (too frequent) steroid shot in spine. Her knee is so painful a brush of fabric causes a 10 response. I have no idea how she processes this, but she carries on OFF Percocet. I am suspecting along with Rheumatoid Arthritis, she has Fibromyalgia (brain changes that amplify pain), but it’s never been mentioned in her medical records.

I am proud to say I got over my “Blood on my hands” knee jerk, nauseated reaction to calling APS on her behalf. Years ago I had “interfered” with calling for help for my brother, and he violently committed suicide. Brother and I had separately moved over a thousand miles from Mom. I helped brother’s widow clean up the mess while Mom (by phone) insisted he was kidnapped by the “Chinese Mafia” (my brother sponsored a saint of an Taiwanese woman and married her) -- and threatened to disown me if I didn’t side with her. Her venom remains in my soul. Mom refused my father’s pleadings to travel to collect my brother’s ashes (which they never did, I handled it all). There’s something about PTSD /Stockholm that makes people (me) not react to things rationally. I guess at least I know I’m challenged and I have resumed therapy with this as it seems the camel's back is breaking.

I’m also proud to report that yes, I am on-goingly report Sis’s ongoing post-hospital issues to APS and it gives me peace. Sis thanks me, but I don’t think she has a clue the cataclysmic changes she will be dealing with. Sis yesterday updated me that APS has interviewed her, again, in Sis’s home and they are attempting to contact sons via phone. Sons of course do not answer. Sis says APS assured her they have their ways to find them. Meanwhile, youngest son has moved out and appears to see the heartbreaking abuse of the older son, which is quite a breakthrough.

Should I split this off into two separate queries (emotional vs. medical concerns) on two separate forums? I have a very hard time keeping up. Medically, Sis's neurosurgeon is recommending stenosis surgery (she’s 60, morbidly obese, asthma, severe Rheumatoid Arthritiis). I’ve been reading heavily about this, and am afraid for her. She’s so sweet and hopeful now, I can’t share with her the “success rates” I see. I know I eventually will, but am hoping the surgeon is forthright (Feb. 22 appointment). She has lost 20 pounds since she left the hospital, shooting for 50 before surgery. For the first time in her life, she’s seizing control of her weight and I am so proud of her. Her hope is a treasure for me. But I’ve been through my husband’s spine surgery, which failed, and I feel the nail-on the-chalkboard dread. Can’t help it. Sis has sought out her old therapist, but I’m not sure she can hang in with her many issues, long commutes, and a Cleveland winter.

Just thank you. All of your wisdoms are always gratefully “intook” and appreciated. I may not respond quickly, but I am so very grateful. Hoping I finally hit "Dysfunctional" target group.

Golden, travel safely.

((((((lu))))) Low thyroid is a horrible feeling. I actually was put on it as a preteen, briefly, again when I was a later teen. In those days, they did not recognise borderline, so you had to be in bad shape bad before they prescribed it. It may have been a reason you didn't conceive. I always wondered why I didn't have trouble conceiving. I got pregnant very easily. But I think I was off and on borderline low a lot of my adult life. I am so thankful it is easy to treat. An inch of snow? We all are ready for winter to be over.

glad - rain and snow is a bad mix. No fun driving on a skating rink. Be careful. On the way down we had to detour because of an accident with fatalities. Wonderful viking strengths, glad. You inherited them for sure. Good idea for duck.

ali - for me one of the first things I noticed after starting on meds was the puffiness under my eyes decreased, and I was not as completely totally exhausted - still very tired, and that took a while to change, but not as flat out exhausted so I felt I could hardy draw another breath. I suspect the meds will make a big difference for you.

becky - take great care if it is slippery. Black ice is dangerous. You are banged up enough.

smesh thx - I have read about others who have to yell for that reason. Frustrating!!!! Geese still going south?? They must know something. I am glad there is support for the older gentleman. The time may some when he needs it. R's dad looked after his wife ( R's mother) for many years -she had mobility and heart issues but was still mentally sharp. Finally it became too much and they went to assisted living. She died while they were there and he had to go to an NH not long after. Very kind of you to keep him stocked up on banana bread. On going off and crying - I bet we all have at one time of another. It lets some of the steam out. Make no mistake - caregiving is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It gets to the essence of what we are made and challenges us to grow in ways we have never been challenged before.

duck - look after your health. The Sept 11th stuff has affected you. Also look after your mental health. When we have a very dysfunctional family we get sucked back in so easily. I built an imaginary wall between me and them of red brick with roses climbing over it and retreated behind it when I needed. Fix your room up, and like that nice man said. "Get a hobby!!!" Visit your son, do something good for you, and think on that. I know it isn't easy, but it is doable. You can't fix them - only yourself.

barb - foreclosure? I missed that

well - things are popping here. R is getting his business done, I have to go with him this morning for part of it, and in the middle of a very busy day yesterday, he got a call to go back north to meet the CEO of the company he interviewed for. So today will be a very early and busy day winding up business, and we drive back later on for his appointment tomorrow, The crazy sleep habits really got me today (woke up at 3) and I may be functioning on a few hours sleep only, but can sleep in the car on the way back. Breakfast starts here in about 1/2 hr. It would be great if he got this job, and we could spend some more time together. And he would be so relieved to be working again.

Time for a nice hot bath before breakfast. Take care all. Have a good day or at least have some good moments. 😊😊😊

Duck, many communities have property tax discounts for the elderly. If you do, I assume your mom is eligible. Nephew may not have checked into it. Check your county's website information may be published there.

Foreclosure notice? On your mom's house? How long have the property taxes been unpaid?

Thanks to those of you have patience with my journal of my journey toward enlightenment. I look forward to the day when I can look back and see that I am okay and ended up just fine and that my worries and concerns were unfounded.

I am missing my son and his wife and the grands and I find myself wanting to get over there really fast.

Hey sorry to hear about the drastic weather changes from 41 - 8 next day, wow. Those extreme temp changes send me into a cough spell sometimes. Not good at all.

Ali, I hope the meds work out for you. I was doing the cq10 seemed to have uplifted me some now I am back into a slump.

I dont know events and things going on keep me rethinking myself. I feel guilty with the silent treatment from sister and nephew especially when they hold this vigil when they come from an apt. Its like they both have her in a corner for a couple of hours and then right back to normal. They go on their way and my mother is up and down stairs knocking at my door for every little thing to go to church,hair dresser get her stuff what ever. Sometimes I feel bad when she talks bad. About this one or that one, what they did and it really gets me when I hear her bad talking me using my name in one of her conspiracy because this is what feeds the isolation between the whole family. She changes when she recognizes me, so I never get the full thread or story line about what I did. But when I whispers to me with these conspiracies I cant help but think of her whispering same way about me. Yeah, I wish my mind would let things go but its my experience, I cant erase my memories and sometimes its triggered when I hear bad talk about some person because I know my mother mode of operation from past.

It turns out one of the property bill was not paid. I let N know. He responded that all he is getting critisism and no help. Of course he would feel that way if he has negative premises about me at the start. I mean he actually ignores me when I say anything which I try to avoid except I got these bill saying overdue and foreclosure.
So I just text him and said I appreciate what he does and I think he does a good job. This is after I text him about what does he need help with and how can I help. I realize he has a life, and is burdened and if the family was together it wouldnt be so lhard on us. but I also did not give him this burden and if he really looks back he would see that I have always been supportive in everyway of him, his mother and brother from day one.

I am venting, sometimes I just find myself in a place wondering where did every thing go wrong. I want to fix it but we all have to want it. I have a bitter spot in my heart from false hoods sabatoge and betrayals and slander. A lifetime of being blamed or made responsible while my twisted gets away with murder and feel entitled to do what ever she wants to me or my property.

We all are going through something, its good to vent. I hope that you all are making some progress in dealing with whatever the issue is.
I love my ah ha moments and I am SO looking forward to starting therapy.

Well rays of love light and peace to all.

Hi all. I am still catching up. I always think of AG as my days off evolve. That in itself is like therary to me because I sort out feeling.

Dori, I hope your baby kitt gets well soon.

Glad, How is your baby kitt with the pretty name Ming.

Country, you have such a good heart.

Guest how is your husband, hope all is well post accident.

Golden, glad you are well. Good you have keen radar and keep this woman in check she sounds like bad news.
Sharyn, you are absolutely right, your work is never done in a house.

I had a good few days off. I worked extra days and no shame in my game to say it sometimes wear me down these changes in the schedule.

I lhad the usuall. On way home I picked up some potatos and bacon with plans to get up early and fix me and my mother s nice breakfast. Along with dinner for next few days. With the stove gas off it has been a tad difficult getting my cooking game back on point. I will eventually stock freezer. Starting to get tired of having to run to store for this or that.
Well, next morining, cant find the potatoes. Now Im scared. Imagine a 5 pound back of potatoes rotting turning to mush packed aways in a bag under bags. So I started a serious hunt, checked garbage can found a book I was expecting in mail unopened . My mother doesnt throw away things, that is a major problem. I was wondering why my sister had this chessy cat look on her face. The I gt you look. I didnt get an order of boots I place when it was noed to be delivered so I thought that was it. I call the A people and they gave refund, I reordered and they gae me express delivery so when Ithe boots came I left the empty packages so twisted could see the schemes dont work. Made a nice dinner we agte good. My search for the potatoes turned up some pretty gory stuff. I am afraid to reach for bags in the cart. Found a clear store container with something turned to liquid brown and stinking. and another container with mashed potatoes and chicken that looked very very old. The search was tiresome no potatoes. Turned around and my mother gave the stinky mashed potatoe concoction to dog and he going at it. oh my goodness. now i had diarrrhea to clean up. I would thing he would knwo better. I caught it before he got most of it down.
Next day I find potatoes. My mother is not home. I assumed she went to doctor. they came in and as ususal hold this vigil around her for a few hours then eevery thing back to normal. twested goes up stairs and nephew goes about his business. The silent treatment had me going for a minute. I am only human and its insulted and hurts even if I give as I get. I had god over due bills for taxes on properties out of state and called and left nephew a text he never answered. I left them on top of fridge under the microwave (I have to move it for every use) and they were still there. So I went and told him in person. He and his m wwere sitting across from each other and he did not respond playing sleep so I walked back to look him in face and ask if he heard me. He kind grunt yeah. I think its so sad and ignorant. and I was really going in turmoil on what to do next if he was ignoring these bills because they were still there when he left. I had that dang convection on and went upstairs to get laundry and do damage control. I heard them come in and didnt go downright away. When I came down the chickken should have been ready but it was turned down. My mother was in the kitchen and in away she seemed to ask me later on why I didnt go I was home. I think there was added animosity iwth twist and son because I had already called md with my concerns about her high risk for falls and nutritional status because some days she eats well and some days she dont want anything at all. By the way, she uhmm and awed or the potatoes and bbq wings. they were good. then I hit her with the cholcolate swirl vanilla ice cream. She ate very well. Tore the leftovers up before I went to work.

so back to twist and son. Later that evening when I get up stairs I see msg from N saying he didnt get any call. (Liar/fire) silly me checked my phone. He states bills are all payed. So I am releived at the comminication. I started to text him with and input about him being under twisteds orders not to communciate at all. Its very sad. The thing is the Oldest N doesnt go for it. He knows his mother. He is working now but once was in the streets, gangs, stuff..... started when he was young. another story. His son who was 3 at the time came down and tells me how his mommy and grandmommy are talkking about me and how gram told mom not to givbe me or my mother anything for mothers day. I am sure he has been privy to enough of those types of policy updates. Sad, even a child can see wrong.

So anyway twist goes upstairs way before Nep leaves. He leaves after my mother goes to sleep. It seems like she was medicated (benadry?) becaused she doesnt quitely lay down like that. I didnt see twisted anymore. Now, when this homeattendant thing was in the air strong. They came from hospital and she saying to him they got to get through the carts. Not done. I do damage control and amazing things I find and dump. Sometimes its does something to me. I guess if she did do these things the issue with the pidtures would not have happend as she would have seen how my mother packs every thing eventhe legs of pants and arms of sweaters. So I didnt do my usuall moping and this week. Acutually its been a lot easier keep things clean or rather half way decent. The floor lasts longer accept where the dog does his business.
I layed back this week. its like I am the only throwing out garbage, chucks loaded with do and pee. Cleaning the cans and doing damage control. Its hard for me ignore the fact of that and also that my mother is back constantly knocking on the door again jarring me out of sleep, scratching my cards, looking at a series. and its constant. I dont understand why she stops at my door sometimes I tell jher to go up andask twisted for keys and to open her door

Anyways I am a nervous wreck inside. I have anxiety just to go to a doctor visit because I have to travel and walk. This is Gastro. my ex said he would come with me for endoscopy and colonoscopy I would like to know what is going on especially for my stomach, I chuck a lot of mucus I guess that drains from sinuses a wtc condition. If I have a big cry I blow loads and loads.

Then I have the therapy, Yay and scary.
Rays of love and light to all. I have a little more catching up to do.

Golden is such a kind one.
Does anyone else have to speak so loud to the point of border line yelling because your loved one does not want to get a hearing aid? I am so afraid someone will think I am yelling at her should they hear me.
Anyone else forget it was super bowl today? We dont watch television so guess it was easy to forget.
I hope you all are getting through your obstacles at a rapid speed, with minimal setbacks.
Was extreme wind gusts here today, we haven't had any snow thus far. Many geese seen. We are in their migrating path and every year we get them landing in our field, sad to say they are still going south, must be more cold coming.
Went to services this morning and an older gentlemen i believe he is 89, his wife has Alzheimers, he is still taking care of her alone, god bless that man. Unfortunately he fell and hurt his arm and leg pretty bad so he wasn't able to make it today. Went by and visited hes in good spirits. But he refuses help of any kind. He wants to do til the end. And he is, with the help of God he is. We all let him know we are there for him. His daughter keeps telling him to put her in a NH, but he refuses. It a lovely story the two of them. He is quite the inspiration. He loves banana nut bread so we keep him stocked.
Had a brief time today, had to go off and cry. Not sure why just felt really sad and irrelevant.
Got through it, thank the Lord.
I am so glad you all are here.

We got an inch of snow today and it's going to get down to only 9 degrees tonight...ugh!

It's 41 and raining. Tomorrow 8 and snow. I see slipping and sliding on the horizon. Yuk!

More snow here, too, a few inches fell today. I don't mind so much as long as it's not bitterly cold outside.

I am on first day of the new meds and a couple of friends and the pharmacist have weighed in:  I'll feel better within a few weeks, then go from there.  That's incredibly wonderful to hear when I've been so tired and out of it feeling.  

I hope the new meds can turn the corner back on some bad symptoms.  And I'm willing to work on some other things -- I def need more cardio exercise! -- if I can stop feeling like death warmed over.  

So thankful to have this wonderful group of BTDT folks to talk to about these things.  I don't know what's coming down the trail for me but I know it isn't anything new.  I have to remember to be my own advocate the way I've been for others.  

Yes, Golden, we have had a bit more snow. Started as rain yesterday, then snow overnight. Just enough rain to turn the snow on the driveway to a skating rink. It is a very long dirt drive so, no it does not get shoveled. A lot of snow I would have to find someone to plow it out. And a long row of trees on the south side of part of the driveway. It will stay icy until spring I am afraid.

I haven't had medical issues long term ever. Mom didn't either until Alzheimer's. Good viking stock, I suppose. 🐂

No one has it in our family,but I became hypothyroid when I was 22.I was SO tired and everything was so hard and my hair started falling out and the doctor tested me and that's what it was,low thyroid,so Iv'e been on Levothyroxine for years and I think it's why I never got pregnant too.

sharyn - ah. that makes sense. For me it was good during pregnancy. I am pretty sure mine dropped after childbirth too, but no dr picked up on it. I kept water weight on that they couldn't understand. Looking back I suspect it was low thyroid. It sorted itself out until menopause, and then it went low again. It does run in families.

Golden, my thyroid became low after my daughter was born. I was told I would need to take thyroxine for life. Apparently they have found women can get a low thyroid from being pregnant. It sounds weird. I took thyroxine for about 13 years stopping because my thyroid tests were becoming too high. My mom had the same problem after having me.

sharyn - I never had thyroid meds when was pregnant and never felt better. But I sure need it now. Funny how it works in different people. R says there is no dry rot, thankfully. We have a winter carnival in a week or so, but if it doesn't warm up you won't be seeing me there.

ali - when I first started in thyroid meds I noticed a benefit very quickly. I hope you do, It was a few months before I was up to normal, but I started to feel better the next few days. Hope the new job is working out well for you.

Dori - thinking of you and the kittie, and hoping you are having some good down time this weekend.

glad - more snow storms your way?? We are having them.

stacey - hope you are having fun with bil.

becky - I know this isn't an easy time. Hope you and Jay are doing OK.

guest - waiting for the next famdram?

smesh - come back and vent any time. We understand.

everyone (((((((hugs))))))

Drove down last night and we are back in E'ton - rush trip to look after some business of R's that suddenly cropped up. The plumbing is fixed and has been tested, the rotten drywall is all removed, and the wood sprayed with anti mold stuff and is drying out. The dry wall needs to be replaced, and there are a few other small patches are needed here and there, so that with be a separate job. A couple of oven functions wouldn't work, due to the moisture I guess, so I put it on self-clean to dry everything out, and it seems OK now.

Had a surprise call from one of mother's friends who is closer to my age. I updated her on mother's move and condition. She had gone to see her last year and was planning to visit her again when the weather gets better. She still drives, but doesn't go too far. The lady, C, does not have email anymore, so I said I would call her if there were any changes, which she appreciated. She said another friend of mother's asks after her. Good to know someone out there still has interest. Got the invoice for mother's most recent hearing aid replacement - over $2500 for something that has been lost already, and it gets my goat that no one takes any responsibility for it. They agree that she did not take the aids out and lose them herself. Well then, what did happen???

We brought the cold weather down here with us, so it is warmer up there than it is down here. Aaaargh!!! Take care all.

Guest, congrats to your son! Less damages to your hubs car the better.

Ali, hoping the new med is what you need. My thyroid was low once due to pregnancy. Different from you and Golden as mine was not a lifetime issue.

Golden, I hope you get the drywall repaired quickly. I hope there is no dry rot to studs.

We didn’t go to McCall as it was snowing there ac ording to the news. Our weather is crazy, 57 today! I only hope my plants don’t start growing then get snow or a heavy frost. I think California followed us here.

Have a good night.

Mally - thank you!

Dori - glad tiny kittie is getting better. Pancreatitis is serious. Do as little as you want to or can get away with. Let the guilt go as much as you can. It only drags you down. Lower your expectations of yourself and who cares what home support think??? I hope they realise you are getting burnt out. Trust the new mattress really helps.

sharyn - have fun at the winter carnival. There was one here a week or so ago - too cold!!!

glad - R has identified the leak as coming from drain pipes that were not properly glued together by the young men that did renos here about 10 years ago. I has been leaking sometime as evident from moldy drywall in the kitchen. Some of the things they didn't do properly are coming back to haunt us. Good to get them fixed now.

guest - so glad son got the job. Yay! Good for him!!! Hub is OK, car can be fixed -and you can have a good weekend.

stacey - have fun on your jaunt with bil - bring ear plugs lol. Sounds like your home is shaping up.

ali - lots of sleep all of a sudden!!! Borderline thyroid problems could explain a lot. When I first went on synthroid, I was considered borderline too, but I need a decent dose, and it did me a world of good. Been on it ever since. Glad the new mattress is good for your back, but I know what you mean about it feeling foreign. Hopefully that will pass. You should find you have more energy for work now that you are on thyroid meds.

Never planned to go out shopping at minus 32, but we had to get some plumbing supplies. so I took advantage of the help and got a big grocery order too, and a few other things. The temperature is rising again which is good. R wants steak for supper, so he will get it. He may have to cook it too, lol. I better get into the kitchen and get it in order again,

Have a good evening everyone!

I was just prescribed thyroid medication by new PCP!! I've never been so hopeful to try something... !! The new PCP had cancelled my follow up appointment due to some system glitch where I wasn't assigned to her via my medical coverage. In the interim extra time, I decided that I wasn't going to try a sleep aid because I am sleeping all the time as it is, so this didn't make sense to me any longer. It seems she also had the same change of heart, because she said the same thing -- "You don't need a sleep aid, you're already sleeping too much."

She said my thyroid is "borderline" but since I have symptoms, it won't hurt to try. Oh it would be so wonderful to get some relief. I was home around 8pm last night and made a salad, got in bed, was asleep by 9, I think. I woke up around 5am but was happy to have extra time to sleep. Woke again at 9 this morning and had to drag myself from the bed to go to doctor's appointment (that I made yesterday and took emergency day off to do that and plumber is on his way to deal with some apartment issues...).

The new mattress is here and is way too firm but I do think I'm sleeping better because no backache. This is no small thing because I was taking ibuprofen daily and right now... No Backache. So even if it's not as cozy a sleeping surface as I'm used to or would think would be good, it does seem to agree with my body. And it's a firm Tempur Pedic and I keep saying "how firm can a foam mattress really be, anyway?" So it feels very weird to me to lie on but I can't debate the fact that back pain is not present even after a very long sleep. 

My employer would like me to be more consistently present at least 5 days a week and I'm struggling. They seem to get it that I'm dealing with a few things... but I need them to clear up, like, NOW... and be able to show up for a full 5-6 days each week.  I've been taking naps in the back and in the front on occasion.  I've never been a nap person.  I'm very tired lately so I'm very hopeful some medication may help.   

I received an email that the Trust had grandma's house cleaned out and it closes February 7. Feels strange, but good, the end of an era. No word on any reimbursement. I want to send an email to inquire and yet I'm tired of the whole thing. Not tired enough to pass on that money, though, so I guess I'll send the email.

...

Stacey, enjoy your trip with BIL. Looks just like Tom Petty?? I was sad when Petty passed. He was one of a few older (than me) rockers who I liked and admired.

Dori, get some rest and don't feel guilty about anything. The laundry will still be there for anyone to do, hopefully someone not named Dori. Caregiving is tough. When you have those things come along that derail everything temporarily, it's maddening (was to me, anyway). Having a sick cat makes everything that much more difficult. Not like you had all the time in the world to clean a Depends from the washer, anyway, but when the things combine, it can be nerve wracking, so just rest. There are more days like that ahead of you and as long as no one dies, all is well. Your good effort is always good enough. 

Golden, sorry about the plumbing problems.  I'm happy R is there and will fix it up.  

Happy Friday, happy weekend, all!