
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Brother Jay is quite a fellow isn't he?
Hugs to you all
You're in my prayers tonight
I am home. Home home. Pizza delivered. Cats sprawled.
Peaceful dreams, everyone.
Went to visit Pam. Very noticeable changes. She was sleeping and did not move. Sue is staying until 10:00. Jay is going for overnight. I'll go back in the morning.
Sorted out more junk and several trips to the town dump. A few people took things off the driveway. PJ also sold a bunch of old Big Wheels mid to late 70's vintage. Remarkably it still looks like we have piles of "stuff". However, the attic is completely empty and has been cleaned thoroughly. Would love to have it ready to put on the market mid-March.
Everyone have a nice evening!
guest - interesting about your father. Re fil, the dysfunction is in full bloom. I am glad you are not going to step forward, no matter what happens. Aunt got no flowers - oh dear! Keep that line in the sand.
ali - all I use is baby oil, but I know it is not for everyone.
Huge dumps of snow to the south. Hope it will end before R is due to come up.
Sharyn, odd question for you lol... but did you end up trying the Dr Jart ceramidin cream and/or liquid and if so, how do you like it? I like some of the brand's other products but I need a better moisturizer for my sensitive skin, prone to eczema.
Hey all, hope you're having a great end to the week, and Happy Weekend!!
I think that many folks that end up in psychology or the helper professions (teacher, nurse, psychiatrist, etc) are exposed to more dysfunctional individuals that can trigger events. My father became a psychiatrist in part because he had such a dysfunctional relationship with his parents and was a narcissist. A friend that is an addiction counselor has been stalked, physically threatened, and almost run over. Becky, give yourself a break like you considered. Give yourself a chance to heal esp. with Pam's journey. many folks seem to treat group therapy as their own private audience for their problems to be aired. It's also eerily uncommon for folks to make up caregiver stories to get sympathy....weird.
Hubs took FIL for surgery and now finds out that only part of the paperwork was updated when MIL qualified for Medicaid. Their wills have not been updated. Oh, well, if FIL dies first and busts her Medicaid, hubs and his brother can handle it. The "fixer" is still on hiatus. Husband's aunt never got flowers at Christmas because when I didn't do it, he never got around to it. Ah, well.
Hugs out to Pam, she's a strong, brave gal
So glad you two went hot tubing
Becky, your job is not easy. Dealing with people with addiction must take a lot out of you too. Having someone from the center show up at your residence is scary. I hope you get a restraining order.
Becky - I hope this is the end of it. You certainly have been in contact with a lot of dysfunctional people. I think you are wise to reduce your workload to less personally demanding commitments. Sorry to hear about Sue. Being a nurse herself must make it more difficult. This is a tough time for all of you. Take care of yourself -build in some time out. I am sure PJ is a rock and that he is concerned for you.
dori -I know as a performer you are also a techie to a degree. Hope you get the internet issues sorted out so they don't keep coming back. Enjoy your own place this weekend. I am an introvert too and NEED time alone. And congrats on quitting smoking. I know it is not easy.
glad - aren't you glad you don't have contact with people like that through work? You have had your share of disasters in the past few years. I am happy for you life is quieter now. I had few scary student encounters at the college, and all confined to the building. Walking to my car in the evening which sometimes was parked near the homeless men's shelter, and a notorious bar in town was another thing. I was relieved when they expanded the parking lot a few blocks away.
Found an extra charge from Am*z*n on my bank account, I sent an email and got back an almost immediate response, so I called them and we sorted it out - it was a blip. At the same time, the nice lady saw that I had not received an small item some time ago that I thought I had sorted out, but hadn't, so she arranged for a refund. It was very good service. Still waiting for resolution from a seller on our Canadian site. However, on the whole, online ordering works very well for me. I have another grocery order in to W*lm*rt. It helps to reduce the heaving of bulky items into and out of the car, which is a PITA, especially in the cold weather. Found out I cannot open my trunk without the remote being active!!! This is a major fault in my vehicle and in other years of the same model! Other than that I love the car. Guess I have to go downtown and get the remote replaced or find out what they can do for me.
Have a good day - do something good for you.
I had planned on working until I'm 70, but last night is making me seriously reconsider that decision. I don't want another sleepless night like last night. I stopped at the assignment office here in the courthouse and notified them that after the 8 cases of DUI's I have now, I won't be available for anymore DUI cases. I had already told my department chair at the University that this is my last semester because I can't physically do the stairs any longer. I will continue to review treatment plans for insurance companies and will also do the administrative/organizational duties for the center, but I believe it's time to let someone else do the groups. I found the visit last night very frightening. No more public work for me.
Pam had a very bad night. Sue stayed with her. She said her coughing was difficult to relieve and that her breathing was very bad. Pam's doctor emailed me that her kidneys are showing early signs of failing. I have to meet with him later this morning. Sue had already told me she and Pam thought her kidney function had changed because of urine color and output. I think at this point in Pam"s illness it's difficult for her to have been a nurse because she knows what the changes in her body mean.
Today is supposed to be our slow day. So far not so slow. Hope everyone has a good day.
PJ and I going to the court house this am for that woman's arraignment. I want to see what happens with her and also, to get a restrainting order against her. I don't want her anywhere around me or my family.
I didnt get to check in last nite and just wanted to wish everyone well. Off for a few.
Internet is back on! Jeez, that was a close one....it took a couple of hours and they had a hard time figuring out what was wrong without a tech visit. Because of mom's dialysis schedule tomorrow, we couldn't get a visit till Monday morning! Mom would've had to go without TV all weekend....I would've felt awful going home for the weekend with nothing here to entertain mom. I probably would have stayed and ran stuff off my laptop for her, through the TV. So....phew!
I really dislike the word drunk. Strange coming from an alcoholic background and having been an active alcoholic at one time not too long ago. My reasons for disliking the word come about that it labels a person without realizing why they have an addiction, what their issues are, and that many many people overcome. I would hate to be labeled a drunk. An alcoholic I’ll take that label.
Feeling better, still coughing, sneezing but getting my energy back slowly.
We never did get snow, just rain. Snow is forecast for Saturday. It’s been a very “dry” snow winter here in Idaho.
Enjoy the weekend everyone, Becky, I do hope you are able to connect with Dorianne and Golden this summer!
Something I guess I'll talk to our doctor about....
golden - I know what you mean about distance and detachment. I had that for so many years, before I moved mom up here. It wasn't till I started staying with her that I started realizing, or maybe just remembering, how oppressive I find my mother. At least I can still practice detachment.
Well, the stupid internet is out again and my laptop is temporarily tethered to my phone while I'm on hold with mom's service provider. So I don't know if I'll be around much tonight! Sure appreciate you guys being here though.....big hugs to everyone!