notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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She pinched her OT three times yesterday and then asked why he left ?
Crushed hearing aids ?
Left out in the snow and run over by a reindeer?
Her old hearing aid is crushed and irreparable.
I am thinking of writing a book titled, "Run Over By a Wheelchair."
Some days I feel like that.
becky - rough go for your cousin. A young person at work years ago was a survivor of ovarian cancer in that she was clear 3 years after treatment. I don't know how they caught it soon enough. Congrats on the new grandbaby. Medical care of preemies is good these days. Sweet name, Holly.
dori!!! M&M!!! I have one 2 1/2 blocks away. Yes, i am a Canuck too. I have heard great things about them, but never tried them due to my allergies. Sounds like a good compromise.
mally - Merry Christmas to you, too. Chinese sounds great! Memories of the movie "A Christmas Story" with Ralphie and family.
Trying - holidays are very difficult for many. I agree with Becky. It is good for your nuclear family to have space for yourselves. There are enough stresses anyway. Whatever you decide, look after yourself. I am glad reading here helps you. It surely has helped me. A visitors unit sounds good as long as your mum does not assume it is hers. I have never thought that you were thinking of shoving her into a substandard place. You would not do that. The NH is a good place for her, and, just as importantly, for you. Vent away. That is part of what we are here for!
sharyn - yes good news though I am getting some ghost images originating from the left eye when I look at type on TV. Heck! Two is better than one Right? As long as I can see decently well and pass my drivers medical I don't care. So sorry to hear about the accident and other car troubles, but great that hub and the other guy are OK. Won't insurance get him a new vehicle? Electrical problems in a car are a b*tch. Yes, you will manage. There is no alternative.
Oh cm - I suspect we could wrote a book on the culinary horrors of boarding school. Spotted dick, dead man's leg and Brighton Beach come to mind. The cook at my boarding school was Dickensian - large, frouzy grey-white hair, very red face, and always with a nervous smile and a dingy apron. Trust the Scots to be frugal with their porridge and store it in a drawer. Oliver Twist would not have asked for more.
glad - it stays in the drawer till used up as far as I know.
from scotsman.com/news/a-slice-of-porridge-has-always-been-top-drawer
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IT HAS to be said that Robert C Walker must have led a sheltered life ('Porridge drawer smells suspicious', Letters, January 22). Porridge in the drawer was certainly a staple in some east of Scotland agricultural communities. I am "only" 42, but can remember getting a "slab o' parritch fae the drawer" as a youngster. Served with homemade jam it was ambrosia. The practice was certainly not unhygienic as the drawer was scrubbed scrupulously after it was emptied and lined with baking paper or greaseproof paper before being refilled.
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Minus freaking 13F, feels like minus 27F, today and I have to go out to an appointment. Getting set up with snow angels again as more snow is coming. Oh well, we are halfway through December, so there are only 2 months of the really bad stuff ahead. Can I get in enough groceries to last me 2 months, so I don't have to go out? Hmmmm!
Have a good one, everyone!
Becky, I am sorry about your poor cousin. It must be a relief for her to have you there for support. Congratulations on the birth of your and PJ’s granddaughter! She sounds perfect.
Golden, Glad your post op visit was good news except for getting new lenses. That is a long time to wait. The Christmas dinner sounds interesting, haven’t heard of it before. You get left overs! That is always a plus!
Monday was a bad day here. Hubs got in an accident, totaling his truck he is fine as well as the other driver, thank goodness! He was using my car while I was at work. When he got in the car to come pick me up, my car was dead. He charged it, got it started, it died 2 blocks from home. He thinks it’s electrical. Now to see about getting it towed to a mechanic. I honestly don’t want to put anymore money into my car, yet, what else can we do when hubs will need a vehicle too? Boo hoo, life goes on and we will manage one way or another
I've been trying to make plans for my mother and it is a nightmare. I told her a few days ago to ask my brother about plans for Christmas because we all went to his son's home last year Christmas Day which she claims not to remember. She suggested having it at our house and I told her I didn't care, but I didn't think that would go over to well since my living in the house is such an issue. Anyway he said he didn't know and he wasn't really feeling the Christmas spirit. So she tells me she will just go with his family to his MIL's on Christmas Eave like she did last year which I didn't know she did. Then today she tells me he didn't think the NH would allow her to be out late and when they go to his MIL's it's sometimes midnight before they are done. So she said she thought they open presents with the grand kids at home then go to his MIL's next door so she would just go to that and then back to the NH. Then she calls me and says he doesn't know exactly what they're going to do. Confusion much? So I told her I still plan to pick her up Christmas Day about lunch and bring her to the house if that's ok. She said ok and she would do something Christmas Eave and not to worry about it. My family and I were not invited over this year. I am the bad guy, though.
This is the 3rd Christmas without my dad and he always tried to make it special. He really loved Christmas! And our 1st without my MIL so it's going to be difficult enough without added drama. My little family and I stayed home Thanksgiving and didn't visit with anyone just to avoid drama on my in-laws side. I'm seriously wishing we were doing the same for Christmas, but I can't just leave my mother in the NH nor not visit my FIL on Christmas Eave like we have for nearly 30 years. So I will just do the best I can. I plenty to do working on the house to keep my mind occupied working on the house while I am off for the holidays.
I almost forgot, I would like to explain a little more about considering building a small apartment or buying a small mobile home for my mother while my family is living in the house. I know that sounds like I am putting her in a shack or something while I am living it up in a nice house. My parents moved to the house from a falling down mobile home and my mother thought it was a down grade which it wasn't. The house is special to me, but it's not a mansion. It's about 1100 sq.ft 2 bedroom little farm house and was built in 1929 by my grandfather. It has the original doors and windows which are not insulated and do not really seal, no insulation in the walls, very few kitchen cabinets, no closets, a 50 year old metal roof (no leaks yet thank goodness), front and back porch need replacing, and many other issues. It is sound, though. My dad did rewire it and replace the plumbing up to code and put in central heat and air. He had my husband put in a handicap bathroom for my mom. There is a lot of potential, but it will require a lot of time and money. If she were to improve enough and show she could stay by herself next door to us in an apartment or small mobile home either would be setup for a handicap person with ramps, retrofitted bathroom etc. I wouldn't try to make her live in something that was not up to code or falling down. She just doesn't need a lot of space because she can't keep it up. For example:Today when I visited her there was soft drink can on the floor in her room that had been knocked off a cabinet and spewed everywhere. Her room had already been cleaned for the day so shejust left it there. I asked her about and she said she didn't know it was there. This kind of thing builds up if ignored which is what she did before the NH combined with hoarding. I am just not seeing her moving out of the NH because she won't change. It's been like this my entire 46 years on this earth. Adding on a room for her isn't an option because I won't be her servant and I can't tolerate letting things become such a mess. I don't keep a perfect spotless house, but it's always presentable and you wouldn't be afraid to touch anything or walk barefoot on the floor.
My husband and I still plan on moving forward with the apartment as he has purchased a building to convert much like a larger version of a tiny house. If she doesn't move into it I guess it can be used by friends that sometimes visit from out of state.
Sorry to vent! I hope everyone on here finds peace and relief.
There's a Canadian store called M&M Meats....they sell pre-cooked or at least pre-marinated frozen foods - lots of things cook right from frozen. They do a great pot roasts and lovely spareribs. I think I'll just pick something up and keep it in the freezer. Then if bro doesn't make it up here, I can feed it to my best guy friend (starving musician) some evening, ha ha.
cm - it is like a very thick split pea soup which has set. I think you would know if you had eaten it. I love pea soup, so I took to it naturally.
Had my post op check up and she says my vision is 20/20. I don't get a new prescription for my left eye till the Jan 29th final checkup, so between that and the broken machine, I will not have proper glasses till halfway through Feb. I am not pleased with that. She says I have dry eyes, so I got prescriptions for stuff for that. We had an interesting discussion. She was much more approachable this time. I commented on my dd's efforts with weight lifting etc and she said she was weight lifting had thought about becoming a personal trainer too, but thought she was too old, She was encouraged to hear about dd. I estimate she is in her mid 40's. Dd is 52.
I ordered Christmas flowers for mother - cymbidium orchids and red roses. Made me a bit sad as I used to send to ex mil and R's mum too. My list has dwindled and I am indulging in nostalgic moments.
Final accomplishment of the day so far, I got my TSH test done and will find out tomorrow what the results are. Moving along...
Pease pudding cold
Pease pudding in the pot
Nine days old.
I've never knowingly eaten it, mind!
"Jiggs’ Dinner – also known as “boiled” or “Sunday” dinner – is a traditional meal that consists of salt beef, turnip, cabbage, potato, carrot, pease pudding, and more often than not, some kind of dessert. Our Jiggs’ Dinner, on both sides of the family, included a turkey."
In sil's family, the turkey was included, so it works well for Christmas. He will also include sweet pickles, pickled beets and cranberry sauce. He makes gluten free, savory seasoned stuffing, and gravy to accommodate me.
Pease pudding, for the uninitiated, is a pudding or porridge of boiled, seasoned, split peas, traditionally cooked a cloth bag.
He doesn't have a particular dessert, but I usually bring ice cream and pie.
It is a fair amount of work as the water has to be drained off the salt beef periodically or it is too salty. The vegetables need to be timed so they are properly cooked when everything else is ready. He starts in the morning to be ready for supper.
It is a good feed and I go home with leftovers!