The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

What part of the brain is involved at the beginning of Alzheimer's determines the course of the disease and behaviors to a great extent. It's considered a very individualized disease. There are many commons features, but some behaviors may be more unique.

Dorianne, my father was an alcoholic. He was sober 10-12 years when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He was very quiet and docile once he got sober and he continued to be that way during his illness with Alzheimer’s. I think a persons behavior with dementia is individual. The sweetest kindest person can become violent when they have Alzheimer’s/dementia.

I once allowed a grown man to use our office bathroom. I can understand a little boy missing the toilet, but a grownup man? He spilled pee onto the floor and didn’t even bother to clean it up. Worse, he left the toilet seat up! .. oh my gosh, even when I use the public bathroom, I clean after my mess!

My brother told me that men’s bathroom are so disgusting. I didn’t realize this until I used the men’s bathroom during a pit stop on the drive to Las Vegas. I walked into the bathroom and stopped. I didn’t know where to walk without stepping on the disgusting floor. It had urine, poop mess smeared. When done, a lady was waiting to use it after me. I warned her ahead of time. My brother said that’s the norm ...another time, we were at a fast food restaurant in the military base. We both went to use the restroom. When we met afterwards, he asked me how was the women’s bathroom. Was it clean?.. yeah, it was clean. He sighed and shook his head. He said that the men’s bathroom was gross. He asked again if the women’s bathroom was really clean. Yes....

Something new...Make sure you didn't eat before you read this.....
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Yesterday(Thursday), When I went into the bathroom after waking up. SOMEONE, left a 'present' on the front portion of the toilet seat.

Part of me was thinking it was my mother's health declining again. Part of me was thinking that my cat was 'royally ticked' at me. Part of me was also wondering if it was one of the two guys who installed the new furnace for the heating oil.

I am pretty sure it wasn't the cat. Because the cat would have fallen in the toilet and drowned.

If it isn't an aspect of my mother's health. It had to be one of the two guy's installing the furnace.

But how did they get it on the front, instead of the back.

Good evening everyone! I would have been in earlier but my stupid leg/hip injury was hurting and I fell asleep after I got mom home from dialysis (speaking of sleep).

I hope I'm not awake all night....but I can sleep in tomorrow - mom always sleeps half the next day after a dialysis day. At least, I am kind of hoping she will sleep. Tomorrow is my birthday and she might want to make a fuss, i.e., spend time with me. I hope not. Is that an awful thing to say about your birthday and the woman who gave birth to you? Lol.

Actually I think I partly fell asleep to get away from her. Last Friday night was when her nasty side came out REALLY BAD. (The whole of last week was like when I was 14 all over again, but Friday in particular....was every Friday night of my childhood, when the really heavy drinking began.) Maybe it's triggered by dialysis. I don't know what the connection between dialysis and dementia is, or why her dementia is so like her alcoholism. I just decided it was safer to avoid her this Friday.

My BFF says she read somewhere that a person's drunk personality and their dementia personality are the same, and who they really are inside. I assume that means who they are with their filters removed. Anybody know much about this? Or....I guess what I'm really interested in is....does anyone know if it's typical for people with dementia to act like they're drunk, or if there's any research on the personality connection at all? I don't even know how someone would study that. You'd have to follow a person's life for decades, and get to know what they're like as a drunk, and even then you'd only have a valid study if they turned out to have dementia. Everything I search for on alcoholism and dementia just talks about how to handle an elderly person who won't quit drinking. Which isn't really what I'm looking for.

Golden, f.lux is awesome, thank you so much! It's a nice tool to help me, since I am on laptop all day, every day sometimes. :)

Book, in my case, I know what I'm experiencing recently are adrenaline surges, so then I know my stress hormones are too high in the evenings. I don't know the cause of headaches but if I can't get sleep, then I can't do an isolation diet (isn't that what it's called, what you described...?) to test for food allergies. I know I'm not allergic to most common: wheat, dairy, eggs, peanuts.

I slept about 20 hours the past 30 hours. Is that possible??? Lol. I was only awake a few hours and then slept again -- beautiful, restful, un-sedated sleep.

That's great, but I can't take off a day when needed to catch up on sleep, so a better pattern overall is necessary.

And... no alcohol at all for the month of December. I suspect that my "couple of drinks" now and then could be contributing to rising cortisol, too. "I'm not drinking very much" but I am still drinking too much, I think, and blood sugar is off and cortisol is off and these things are very much impacted by alcohol intake. I was reading how the increased cortisol increases the pleasurable effect of alcohol, and more alcohol increases the cortisol. Kinda the very definition of addictive behavior...

I was reading about adrenal fatigue and there were some things that really hit home: how sometimes now even very small minor things can make my head explode, can cause an over-the-top reaction. I wasn't like this before the past 5 years or so; I remember distinctly when I started noticing that I didn't have the ability to deal with small stressors, and it started happening around the onset of panic.

I have some steps to take and I have every reason to think I'll get marked improvement but it's going to take mindful effort. But... I have to. :-) I have to get improvement or things will not work out in my current situation and I'll have to find another route. That wouldn't be the end of the world, but I WANT things to work out here.

Book, Food allergies are a nuisance, but you can figure them out. I'm allergic or have developed an intolerance to walnuts.

ABB, do you recall in all my previous comments about waking up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache? For me, this is unusual. My usual headaches would be pounding headaches all day/all night for months. Non-stop. Then... suddenly no more headaches... Then back to all day/night pounding headaches for weeks/months. I do know that stress is a contributor. But it's not all stress.

Lately, when I've been waking up with the pounding headache, I review what I've eaten the day before. I really should have a food journal.... What I Think is causing my headache (food allergy), I would test this theory. I would continue to eat it daily. Then I stop for several days. If my headache goes away - then I'm allergic to that food... I bought a large bag of dried fruits. Yep, that's a no-no. Nuts - almonds, walnuts, peanuts, pistachios, sunflower seeds and ... the latest - pumpkin seeds - are all no-nos. Again thru my testing method.... I'm now testing the delicious (yum!!!!) Delicious Red Apples. I bought a large bag of it, and eat one apple around 10pm every night. I noticed that the nights I eat it, I would wake up with pounding headache and ears ringing. I finally stopped 2 nights ago .. because I found a lot of tiny rashes all over my back and inching towards my stomach. Yep, no more apples. No more waking up with pounding headache and ringing ears.... Do you think maybe your headaches are linked to something you're either allergic to or have intolerance?

Golden, Have a safe trip and I hope your cataract surgery goes well.

Stress of the holidays is starting to rear it's ugly head. Thanksgiving thru the Super Bowl is the bad season for psychologists. Got to my office this am and voicemail was full. Groups were full. PJ said his office was much the same. He's out running in the cold to get rid of his stress. I went for a wall after dinner and listened to a waterfall Program from CALM. Tomorrow's another day.

ali - you have been given some good advice.

I would say definitely no coffee/caffeine after say 6. You may be a slow acetylator. "That’s the technical term for the chemical process that your liver uses to detoxify any foreign element that makes it into your body. Drugs, alcohol, and even prescription medications are all ready by your liver as toxins that must be cleansed from your system." (Dr. Peter D'Alamo). I am and cannot handle much caffeine at all.

As regards blue light and the computer, you can download a free program - f.lux -
which alters the light on your computer to reduce its effect on sleep patterns

Stress is a big one and for help with that I think you need to go to the source of the stress and work on that. I know therapy is expensive, but there may be be a group that you could join that is free - survivors of childhood abuse or something like that might help reduce your stress.

I would not be surprised if you have CFS.

Take care of you. Lower your expectations of yourself, wrap yourself in cotton wool for a while. Try to relax.

dori - validation is very important. "banking and bills ... which is my least favourite thing in the world". Mine too except for filing!

In a bit of a tizzy here _R is coming up late tonight, going to an interview tomorrow and after it we head south. DD was here and did some cleaning. I did some cooking and will freeze some tomorrow to have when we come back. Laundry is done, and I will start packing tonight and finish tomorrow. Contacted a real estate guy re selling the lot and will bring papers down and get together with him while I am there. I over ]did it a bit today,-but will recover. Need to bring papers for mother, papers for real estate, papers and meds for the cataract surgery, bank papers, insurance papers... and I hate pprwrk! It's mind numbing!

Take care all, Have a good evening!

Hi everyone! Thank you to everyone for what you wrote, I read everything twice. It means a lot to me to feel validated. This has been such a weird, unexpected twist in the journey....

I feel better today, for having had a big emotional day yesterday. I am kind of regrouping today. Got to get my mind on the banking and bills tonight, which is my least favourite thing in the world. Plus the regular chores. So I can't be emotional, or s*** won't get done!

I don't have anything helpful to say about sleep. I have the worst rock star sleep habits of any person I know.

Alibobali: I'm not in any way endorsing this type of practioner, but a friend of mine is seeing an acupuncturist & is having great results with her health issues. This practioner takes a health history & coordinates her treatment with the person's traditional medical care. My friend did her research & got some referrals from her Tai Chi colleagues. I know $$ is an issue as this is not usually covered under standard health insurance. Also there are scammers out there. Just a thought...

Ali, I had sleep issues for years and headaches when I got up. Before we got married PJ brought me all of these articles on sleep hygiene. I think it was his not so subtle way of saying he didn't want to live with someone who wondered the house at all hours of the night. I followed all of them and I am sleeping much better and no headache everyday. I also got rid of my digital alarm clock. Also blocked the digital panel on the cable box. Hope that you get some solutions.

Got to sleep about 6am, then allowed myself to sleep a couple hours later than usual today. Thanks, CW, I'll read up on that. From what I read the other day, the adrenaline surges have to do with cortisol levels. Cortisol should fall during the day, be low at night. Mine is rising during day (apparently) enough to cause those adrenaline surges. I had a few last night. I will drift off and then be jerked awake.

I read about the adrenal fatigue (thank you, Barb!) and I do have symptoms, and fit the causes, too.

I told a friend I had concerns about my body/brain, and that I'm wondering if "going somewhere quiet" for 3 or 6 months to focus on truly HEALING myself isn't the right move. I said this because I notice the headaches daily right now. I don't know what causes them. I wake up with them. It's not caffeine. If I sit and meditate, I can get them to ease up some. I wonder if it's inflammation? And if so, inflammation needs time to heal... doesn't it? I'm taking NSAIDs daily in meantime and it helps.

If I don't improve in the next 2 months, I'll seek a way to get away and focus on healing. I have some ideas about what that would entail but I'm not going to bother making a plan until it happens that I cannot get any recovery here, in place. There are still many, many, many things I can do to try to get real improvement.

I have poor-people insurance and sleep studies have been suggested many times by PCP in the past, but I need a special referral. I don't know why we never did one. Thing is, if feel like if I tell doc or any med pro "I drink coffee" or "I work on laptop at night before bed" they will say those things contribute to problems. And sure they do. But many people do those things and don't have the continued issues I have.

Woke up with enlarged gland/node in my throat. Who knows if it's related to anything. That's an old symptom that seems to come around often enough since mold. I'm a little mad at my traitorous body/brain right now. I do want to do the right things, the good things, to heal.

Book, I think you're right, in general. I am still very much "stressed" and stress is the problem as to why my body is reacting this way. It may be I have some long standing sleep issues, too, just worse now, because I have had trouble getting to sleep and waking up since I was a small child.

"We know that emotionally charged thoughts such as worry or fear cause production of stress hormones, the best known of which is cortisol. Cortisol impacts the body in many ways, promoting a loss of minerals from the body and increasing the acid load – which is bad for your bones." -- (from Google search about "stress cause acidity in body")

^^ So stress can cause acidity in the body. There is such a thing as alkaline water, and I can buy a gallon of it for $3 at my drug store. It's no harm to try drinking that water all day for a week to see if my headaches will ease up, to see if it helps the adrenaline surges.

And no laptop in bed anymore, which is going to be a tough habit to break. There are a couple of steps I can try to get some improvement. And thank you guys for reminding me. I need to do all the right things and... well, old habits die hard but this is important. Thank you.

This is clearly a cortisol/stress issue... which is unsettling to me. We all have stress in our lives and we need for our bodies to hold up under the stress. I wonder if I just haven't had ENOUGH stress for awhile. I pulled a chart off the Internet a few days ago, "How to Lower Your Daily Stress." It has a lot of good advice, most of it related to cultivating a peaceful mindset during the day. I just wonder if I'm not a little too "fried" for simple Attitude of Gratitude stuff to work, though. I AM grateful for where I am, I have no major problems, my needs are met, yes I'm worried about my health and getting good job but... I'm not THAT concerned about it. I could get a job any week I decide to get one (not the right one, but one that would pay bills) and I know that my body/brain isn't ready for that right now, but hopefully soon.

I'll try to go easy, and I think I do maintain a decent balance right now. So many things I'm working on right now are all for ME, things I want to do. I'm just not sleeping well and it's a PROBLEM. :-/

Thanks.

Ali, I hope you finally got to sleep. What you are experiencing are hypnic jerks or myoclonic jerks, if you want to do some reading about it.

Ali, you sound utterly burned out! If that is the case, you are probably experiencing a myriad of emotions and physical symptoms. Instead searching for a cure, maybe try meeting each hour as you are. If you are up to sorting paperwork from 10-11, do it. If by 1 pm you are exhausted, grab a blanket or two, stretch out on the couch to watch some pleasant program. Listen to what your body wants. Take that afternoon nap. Let yourself heal and recover.

Ali; I posted a link on your page, hope it's interesting reading. Have you ever considered having a sleep study done?

ABB, I think your subconscious mind is worrying about your current situation. I can't remember if you found a job, yet? Perhaps this is really, deep inside of you, is what causing you to worry. Of course, you were having sleeping problems in the previous years because first, you were caregiving your grandmother. And then your father. All very stressful situations.

I'm thinking that perhaps your personality does not allow/permit the thought that you're going through real worrying stress. That you Are Handling the situation. But, perhaps, deep, way deep down inside of you, you are stressing like crazy. Subconscious vs. Conscious.

I'm the saver of my family. I have what I call an emergency fund that would carry me over for about 1 year of very basic living. Compared to my 7 siblings, only baby sis and I have a savings account. Despite knowing that I have a cushion if something happens to my job, I still worry all the time about what will happen if I lose my job.

So, I'm guessing that perhaps your subconscious mind is worrying a lot compared to your conscious mind?  Hence the tiredness and lack of sleep?  Well, that's My Guess! =)

Ali
It's midnight and I'm wide awake
I love to sleep but am having a devil of a time - too exhausted to rest well

Oh Ali, you never will sleep well at this rate.

If you're still wide awake one hour after going to bed, get up and do something. Read a book (and don't use a Kindle or a daylight-type reading light - see below). Take a bath. Go for a walk, if you live in a safe area. Do some yoga if you don't. But do not lie there feeling anxious about not being able to get to sleep, for fairly obvious reasons. Try again when you start to feel more relaxed; or if it's anything even approaching getting-up time then get up and don't go to bed until the next evening, by which time you should be ready to fall face down on the bed and not stir for ten hours.

The other big rule is No Blue Light. No checking your phone, no diddling around on the internet, no TV. Turn Them Off (right off. Not silent. Not stand-by. OFF) at least one hour before you go to bed. Won't make any difference how much melatonin you swallow if everything around you is telling your brain it's daytime and boosting your cortisol levels.

Dorianne, it's more than ok to just read only and take things in... or comment only w/o reading because you have something you need to vent. This is a support thread and only you know what support you really need on any given day. (in my opinion)

Glad, I hear you. :-) But right now, there are so many things I "don't want to do." I'm trying to find more balance, and I do think that is happening. This eve, I felt it was important that I do 2 online applications for positions that looked really good (and I've been putting off these 2 applications for a week due to other stuff), and I had to go pick up my laptop by 9. And maybe flu shot did contribute to feeling lousy (I'd love to believe that's the problem but if anything it's only adding to a problem already happening with me). These adrenaline surges lately have me wondering what's going on with my body... It's not an uncommon symptom, just new again for me. And tonight I drank coffee at 7pm which I never do, but felt I just must try something to get more done. :-/ Ok, that was dumb. But you know what? It worked. I got the things I wanted to get done, done. Now I won't sleep lol but I don't sleep well lately anyway!! If all I'm going to do is lay there and wait for sleep that doesn't come, I'd rather do something, anything.

I appreciate you guys so much. My sleep is a problem. I don't think I'll know if it's CFS if I never sleep right, but it is a symptom of CFS that one feels fatigued and doesn't sleep. Even when I was working 8-5 this past year, it was a problem to maintain good sleep schedule. I feel like I'm wrestling a slippery alligator with trying to get sleep to happen on time and be restful. Blech.

I have the ride share work that allows me to get some small income on my schedule. That's been good. Plus I talk to a few people about the most interesting stuff. I feel GOOD about the ride share, I feel GOOD about steps I'm taking. Why the heck am I jerking awake with adrenaline and not sleeping??? God knows I'm tired every single day with rare reprieve.

I very seriously considered ordering a pizza... but it doesn't even sound good to me right now. Too bad for me. lol!!

Done whining. Thanks again. I'll start on some melatonin asap and cross my fingers.

Aw, you guys are so protective, I appreciate it. I didn't phrase it correctly -- "did some work at old house" really means: I had a doctor's appointment with my psych down in that area and since I was going to be there for that, I also did 5 loads of laundry for myself (only coin op up here and I had a few loads of blankets and towels out of storage), and sorted through some tchotchkes and other things still at the house and took a carload to donation center that's a block away. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was only down there to work on the house. I was just "doing some work at old house," and most of that work was just for myself.

I talked to my psych (the man has the bedside manner of an assembly line worker, god love him) about my being too tired and not sleeping well. This is an old topic but he gives me different input every time lol. I told him it took me a long time (often 3-4+ hours!) to fall asleep, even though I'm dragging when I get into bed, and I'm tired. Lately I had a reoccurrence of a symptom that I don't recall having since I first onset with bad panic attacks: I've been jerking awake with adrenaline surges when I start to fall asleep. I haven't had that symptom in years, since the panic was quite bad. I don't consider what I experience now to be "panic." I have some physical/mental anxiety to varying degrees throughout most days, but it's not panic. Panic is what made me go to ER at times, or lie in bed with phone near me in case I thought I was really going to die. I haven't had panic like that in years, so what's with the adrenaline surges?? :-(

I personally won't take benzos every night because reasons ... and so he suggested melatonin ... (and the last time I talked about it he suggested OTC sleep aid, the time before he suggested exercise... and I appreciate that he doesn't suggest benzos... he's not trying to overmedicate me, at least.) I tried melatonin years ago and didn't think it was all that helpful, but ok, I'll give it another go. And I read some forums and others suggest ashwagandha (something else I've tried and even have some still here) and the assorted "natural" helpers.

I have been tired for years now, but the reoccurrence of these adrenaline surges is new and I'm ready to tear my hair out after the past week of such bad sleep. I'm also noticing that I almost never go w/o headache symptoms, but then I chalk it up to caffeine intake even though I've drastically lowered consumption ever since panic onset circa 2012, and I (USUALLY) won't have any past a morning cup 8oz of coffee, maybe afternoon cup of tea. I watch the caffeine because I am sensitive to it now.

I'm babbling. I'm frustrated. I'm not sleeping well. I don't know what to do about it and sedating myself isn't the answer... though that does feel AWESOME when I get some sedated sleep lol. But if I take anything then I feel like I never want to leave my bed and that isn't helpful.

Bottom line is: I'm far too tired during the course of most every day right now and then I don't sleep well, and I don't know why. I've accepted the answer that "likely it's because caregiving is stressful" and "likely will improve when I move on" for years now, but it's not Actually Happening, I don't feel improvement and I FEEL like I'm done with caregiving... just feeling like maybe some symptoms aren't going to go away, it's a new normal?? :-(

Well, no improvement yet, though I do think sometimes that I'm on my way to being a bit better. I've been tested for most everything in past 5 years. I am having some issue with high blood sugar but that's nothing to make me feel so tired like I have been feeling. PCP tested for fibro, didn't think it was that. I'm just way more tired than average person now. This isn't a new problem but much more severe in past 4 years or so, where I don't even have a few hours to feel mostly ok on some days. I feel like I'm gritting my teeth to push through most days. :-/ I really feel it now that I'm trying to get 8-10 productive hours out of a day.

I don't even know if this is accurate or makes sense. I know it's a problem. It's a problem every single day.

I'll keep reading about things to try and... I don't know. If I can't get improvement then...

I'm giving myself a couple more months (reasonably like 2 more months, until end of Jan) to see some improvement. I know I'm TRYING and I'll keep TRYING.

I'll go from there. I'm not particularly anxious, not particularly depressed, I'm just TIRED. And that tired makes me frustrated, and concerned.

Sharyn - Well said.

Dorianne, I'm newer than most. Been here a year. My Mom and one brother were totally toxic. I took care of my Mom for about six years before I moved away. My mom ended up moving to where I relocated. My Mom was 88 with mobility issues, almost completely blind and deaf, but none of the truly difficult caregiving issues, just a toxic narc personality. She died in May. My brother was her favorite. He and his family were financially abusive to my Mom and in turn to me. He also passed away this summer. This is a safe place to vent. You can read, comment, ask questions, whatever you need.

Dorianne, shell shocked is a good adjective. We grieve the family we have because we really lost out on loving parents, siblings pitted against each other. We grieve not having had protective parents instead of parents who ripped us apart because we didn’t live up to their image us. Give yourself time to adjust, and be kind to yourself.

Dori, yes sometimes this thread moves fast, other times nothing for a few days. Be careful, I am addicted to it and sometimes have trouble getting to sleep if there isn't some discussion for me to lurk on.

I have been here for five years now. I found it about a year after I started caring for my mom with Alzheimer's and her hubby general age related decline. Stepdad passed about a year ago, mom passed June 1. I cared for them 24/7 for four years until I had enough of my twisted sisters s###! That is a very long story and am trying to put it behind me. Mom and hubby went to a facility 2.5 years ago now. Hard to believe, time flies when you are trying to get on with life.

Yes, us long timers here are very supportive of one another. We put each other on the spot, we know each other well enough that feelings do not get hurt, at least not permanently. We know how to talk to each other. Now it is Ali's turn for a bit of tough love.

Ali, take care of you not the house. You will continue to feel so tired as long as you keep doing things you don't really want to do.

dorianne -whatever you want to do is fine -lurk, post, whatever works for you. Hi and an update is great. Yeah, some of us have been here a while. My idea of a thread like this one is to support one another and fill some of those needs that our dysfun fams did not fill. We are cyber sibs lol!
Not ready makes sense. There is so much processing to do when dealing with this stuff. I find it exhausting at times, and if you are an introvert, you need to draw into yourself and recover.

I am going to gently disagree that today was a write off for you. I think you accomplished a lot. You found the pic of your dad and step mum, you felt your pain and cried, and cried. That is dealing with your grief, it is healing and it is also exhausting. I am not surprised that you didn't do errands but just drove around. That was what you needed to recharge. Good for you.

Shellshocked is a good term. Numb may be another. It is the first stage of grief. You are going through a huge loss - the loss of the family you thought you had. Your emotions are all over the place. Tears are good. I used to call them years of tears, like the plug has been pulled.

Good for you for being bland to your mum. I am sure it is for the best for now. It is a fine way of coping

(((((((hugs))))))) to you Dorianne. I believe you are on a healing path.

You guys are lovely and supportive of one another, I guess some of you have been chatting here for a long time? I am just getting to know you all and about your lives, I am not sure what to comment on, lol! Plus I took a bit of a break from the forum yesterday. So I hope it's ok if I just say hi and give a bit of an update today. I'm still reading y'all's comments though! I'm a bit of a lurker.....

I didn't call Alzheimer's Society yet. I am going to. I have so many excuses for not doing it yet, but the truth is, I'm just so tired from processing s*** on my own....I'm not ready to talk to someone new about my family problems yet. If that makes sense.

Today was a write-off. After I got mom to dialysis, I went back to my apartment (my friend is out of town), and rummaged around till I found a pic of my dad and stepmom. I knew which one I wanted, but it took me an hour to find it. Then I sat at the kitchen table looking at it, and cried and cried. It's on my desk at mom's now. Then I decided I wasn't doing any errands today. I just drove around the countryside till it was time to pick mom up.

I feel kind of shellshocked. I dunno if that's the right word. IS there a word for the feeling(s) you have when everything you thought you knew about your family gets shot to s***? I feel SOOOO emotional, I keep crying, I barely want to be around mom. She is being fine, no more nastiness since Friday night (unless she left the poo on purpose!). But that's maybe because she's been sleeping a lot. And also, I am being extremely bland and helpful because I don't want to step the wrong way and set her off.

A co-worker once said she could tell when I was getting angry at customers on the phone, because I would start getting super polite and formal with them. I wonder where I got that from.

upset - Yes it does. I am allergic to dairy, but I have found some awesome coconut milk ice creams, chocolate included. Just plain chocolate is good too. I found a new dairy free, organic chocolate - one with orange, and two sugarless - one plain and, my favourite - one with a hint of mint. Mmmm, smooth, dark goodness!!!!! There is a good stevia sweetened choc bar too.

I can identify with your frustrations regarding a limited diet. I have to stay away from gluten (barley, rye oats and wheat), grains in general don't agree with me even those nice ancient ones, all dairy is out and I have to limit carbs, or I gain weight rather impressively. I used to feel bad about having to take pills every day - like thyroid and my CFS/FM supplements. Then I got to the point that I am glad they are there to help me, and I am good unless something puts the drug stores out of commission. ;)

Golden, Chocolate ice cream works too!