
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Thanks to Gershun, I take Curcumin.
Thanks to Golden, I take Resveratrol.
Started taking Lyrica for fibromyalgia pain but that is not going to work for me.
Take B-12, sublingual, magnesium, vit. D has helped, but stomach pains with calcium.
With the support of everyone on here, I will be okay! Thank you all so much!
If I feel like freaking out, I will stop, and think of your successes, giving me hope.
When attending therapy, I wear my blue button, awarded to me by a past therapist.
It reads: "SHRINK RESISTANT" .
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The diagnosis is a stepping stone, an assist on the road of life for someone with ASD, a necessary means to obtain the resources needed to learn how to navigate the world when one is a very special person!
Ali, Golden mentioned journaling. I started in 2003 on the advice of a psychologist friend. I find it very helpful. I get things off my mind, use for problem solving, decision making, etc. I do mine before I go to bed; some entries are lengthy, other times a few sentences. It also helps me sleep. Writing calms me down. I also walk and listen to music (especially if I'm walking on the indoor track - it blocks the noise.
All of the techniques Golden listed are good. I'm allergic to a lot of scents so I don't do many candles. I also am not a tea drinker. But people who like them find them helpful.
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from in the web "everythings-going-to-be-okay-how-good-are-you-at-self-soothing"
Here are some examples of how to self-soothe through each of the senses:
Sight: Go to a pretty spot in nature or a local park. ...
Sound: Listen to calming music. ...
Smell: Light a scented candle. ...
Touch: Take a warm bath or shower. ...
Taste: Sip herbal tea, such as chamomile. ...
Kinesthetic: Rock in a rocking chair.
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You can also use journaling, positive self talk, a pet, volunteering (scientifically proven to make you feel better) and more.
All of these help us to get through tough times. For me, my faith is my main "go to". I am inevitably more peaceful after prayer and scripture reading and trusting that God loves me and is working in my situations.
re supplements - you need Co Q10 with the carnitine. It helps with energy. I also take Vit D, calcium, Fish Oil (omega 3), and resveratrol and turmeric to decrease inflammation. I always first look at lifestyle - managing proper diet, some exercise/movement, sleep, and stress reduction. One does need some social interaction as well. People do better with it. Volunteering can provide that as well as contacts re work. Forums like AC also provide it.
glad - I agree. It takes time and we have to be patient with ourselves
sharyn - sorry about the insurance at your new work place. I hope you get on through open enrollment.
R is in his interview now. Praying for a good outcome. He also may have more opportunities through the contract he is working now. Seems like feast or famine. We had a good drive back yesterday and woke up to a heavy snowfall today. It looks beautiful but, I guess the grass won't get cut.
I am not eligible for insurance through my employer for 90 days and I have to be a “regular” part time or full time employee. Right now I am seasonal.
Then today, while doing some work at old house, and running errands... I thought to myself, "I'm looking for a new job, a new car, and moved two households into a 1 bedroom place, and I'm single handedly dealing with contents of the house my grandparents lived in since the 1950s. It's a bit much" I am trying to cut myself some slack but any positive benefits I can get from food, supplements, exercise, meditation is helpful. Maybe other people don't need all that to stay balanced and productive. I don't think they do, or maybe just every one else's life looks so much easier from the outside looking in, haha. I think I'm a "sensitive" and "high strung" type, and when I have so many stressors in my life, any little thing to keep me moving in a positive direction is helpful.
I'll start and say that I take vit D, magnesium, zinc, gingko, B-complex, sometimes a bit of B-12 liquid if I'm tired, and just recently started with turmeric curcumin a couple of months ago. There's one that Golden takes that I can't remember name of... carnitine? And I took that one for about the last 6 months but can't remember if that's it, so that's a lot to do with why I'm doing this poll lol. But figured you guys have some similar issues to what I have and if you've found supplements that you feel are helpful, I'd like a refresher course on what those are, please.
I don't take vitamins every day but do try to get a couple of doses in me per week and I have my reasons for taking each of those, and generally just seek to have better energy and focus because there are times when I feel drained and worn out, mentally and physically.
Thanks in advance.
glad - your situation certainly was similar and very hurtful too, and not in your mum's best interests. How is the kitty doing?
sharyn -yay - starting work soon! I an still tired, especially my legs which have been aching. The drive then starting into the move right way was a bit much for me. You have mentioned previously feeling a bit depressed since the move. I know I will -seems to come with the territory. It takes a while to adjust. Dd's hub going to a support group would be great. Nothing like little kids and puppies!
guest - this should be the last move and I think there is an emotional toll from that too. I an looking forward to getting home today and back into my regular routine.
upset - I am so thankful that I don't do hands on caregiving too. Those that do are heroines and heros. You are giving them a real break. I am feeling a sadness about this last move and my mum's helplessness. I think the fatigue is affected by my emotions as well as the physical efforts. I find I am a bit weepy.
ali - having your emotions all over the place is to be expected with a move and all you have been through. Just look after you the best you can! Eventually things should level out.
Now, if R gets this job from the interview (and it sounded pretty positive like them asking for stuff they would not normally do on a first interview ], as well his background which particularly suits this position) plans will change again and we will stay for a few more years in the frozen north. Oh well. You can't have it all! One step at a time!
Thank you guest! Yes, dd will get a diagnosis tomorrow afternoon. E is already in preschool continuing speech therapy and with a diagnosis, we can find out how to proceed from here. It may be a good idea if she and her hubs can go to a support group especially for her hubs to see that his son is perfectly abled just differently and he can and will learn. E is so tender hearted and just a sweetheart. His brother L is so curious about everything, wants to help with everything by being a typical smart 3 year old. Yesterday both boys were so cute, crawling on all 4’s pretending they were dogs. The 2 puppies were in the backyard playing so they were playing too.
Golden, take care of yourself in the process! Another move accomplished with success. A breath of fresh air.
Upset, you are a light in the dark tunnel of Maine caregivers. I think the fuss about using your facilities came from the other folks because you accomplished so much so quickly. Often the need someone feels is so overwhelming that seeing services available nearby is so tempting to co-opt for oneself. The folks in that disability community don't have an Upset, so they try to piggyback on your work. Not bad, self-involved and needy. But you have your own work to pursue and you can't fix them all....
Duck, ask if you qualify for Section 8 housing. You are desperate and walking in circles. I understand. We all do. But you are trying to change other people and it just ain't gonna happen. Hugs.
Glad, a cat is perfect at this point in your life. We now have 2 cats and I miss the dog but not arranging to board/have checked on when we travel now.
I'm sorry about folks I miss, but trying hard to maintain.
Golden, Glad you got your mother moved and you are done primarily with that part. I’m sure you are tired as moving and downsizing takes a lot out of our bodies. I hope you are resting up now.
Sharyn, So happy for you that it is all working out for you with the your new job.
Ali, Is your life settling down? Any new news from the trust.
I'm off to work - four groups today.
TS2 took mom to the hospital to have her tested for a UTI. At least she listened and learned a bit during my four years of care. Mom did not have a UTI, just very aggressive and a danger to herself and others. TS2's finding was that mom would adjust in a few weeks. A year and a half later, mom was kicked out of the facility because of her behaviors. She never adjusted.
Sibs with only minimal contact have no idea. They only see the best behaviors because of such limited interaction with them. I wished so often it could have been different, always knew in my heart it would not change. There was nothing I could do to change their understanding, thoughts or willingness to help. You cannot change others either. I could only change my perceptions and hopes. It is hard work and an ongoing process. Still is, always will be. But, I am in a much better place than I was.