The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Well, shut my mouth.
I apologize to the forum members.
I too hate dissension and fights.

DDDuck,
You said: "Send I hope the realatives treated you okay. I worked in the group homes, It used to break my heart the way these girls were treated at home and in foster care. Raped and sent to the group home,while the rapist (mother boyfriend ) is home. And the poor young girls with psych issues having men or boys lined up in parks or cars waiting for blow jobs, feeling this is love. Not to mention the abuse in foster care. One of the girsl mother was a prositute who died, The Girl was about 16 and had a child the Aunt put her in group home and wouldnt let her see her son or come "home" for xmas. Then the one girl who was raped and abused would go home for xmas bearing gifts for the whole family even the one who raped and beat her. How does one forget pain.
It is so sad the pain we hold in our hearts and memories. I cant even count the times my heart dropped to my stomach.
I have gained so much insight and understanding "


Please do not write this stuff associated with my name! In fact, you are so inappropriate ( when responding to anything I write), just stop, stop altogether.
I said that I was dumped at a relative's house, that's all! You are out of line. I will ignore you, and please, you ignore me, thanks.

So sick to hear this crap from you! I am furious with you, and cannot believe you were ever in the medical field! Just stop, please stop!

It is like stubbing a toe, and along comes DDDuck, confabulating that one should go to the E.R. because there could be flesh-eating bacteria growing inside and even though there is no open wound it could travel to your heart and KILL you!

What is wrong with you? Don't answer that! Just don't ever speak to me or address me, E V E R!

Ali, those banging pipes was probably the heat coming up. Radiator heat is so crazy. That banging is loud. After a while you get used to it. Either the heat is coming up or down or you can tell what time it is.

I am a person who is spiritually sensitive and when I sleep somewhere sometimes I get to see who was there way way before. Took me a while to get what was happening. then I started to get used to it.

Could be you are sensitive in that way. I cant remember what they used to say about something laying on you. I was told you say Jesus and it leaves. You were probably really exhauste, You have been doing a helluva lot lately. Glad you woke up fresh and feeling good.

Send I hope the realatives treated you okay. I worked in the group homes, It used to break my heart the way these girls were treated at home and in foster care. Raped and sent to the group home,while the rapist (mother boyfriend ) is home. And the poor young girls with psych issues having men or boys lined up in parks or cars waiting for blow jobs, feeling this is love. Not to mention the abuse in foster care. One of the girsl mother was a prositute who died, The Girl was about 16 and had a child the Aunt put her in group home and wouldnt let her see her son or come "home" for xmas. Then the one girl who was raped and abused would go home for xmas bearing gifts for the whole family even the one who raped and beat her. How does one forget pain.
It is so sad the pain we hold in our hearts and memories. I cant even count the times my heart dropped to my stomach.
I have gained so much insight and understanding and just plain old right in my pain from others here sharing their pain. I get a joy just reading about the joys others here have because I see my self in a rare moment of fun or happiness. I love the chit chat its so much better than bein ostrisized and sabatoged and mistreated, being made to feel like something is wrong with you. I get a good laugh here, even roll my eyes to the skys but its all good and I am grateful for that. And then after all of that something is shared from that dark part of our lives there is a arm of support always given somewhere, somehow. I truly love you all for that, it means so much to me, especially when things start hitting back to back or sometimes all at once. God bless you all.

Ali I am happy for you in your new place. That stomach thing is something else. A table spoon of anykind of vinegar would throw me into groaning like a cat. But I have heard of benifits of aple cider vinegar.

Upset I am out here cheering you on. I think what you are doing is awesome. I saw you post about sibblings briefly. I didnt get to entire post but I have always been shocked at my relationship with my sister that was my exposure to the ruthlessness untill I came on this site. In my line of work I used to be amazed at what we humans will do to one another untill I really opened my eyes and saw my sister when she showed me who she was.
Golden I am glad you move went well. I get your alarm on the wheel chair guy in room. My guess would be they were all checking out the new girl on the block. I worked at a senior Center many years ago and I found them to be very endearing and very protective. I have no experiecnce in what goes on inn that type of facility but I hope it was just a check out. even if it was an invasion. I wish you all the best and I hope you run into a good deal for housing. You are a true trooper.

I had two groups today. One on Medicaid nursing home placements which was fairly routine. The other on coping with problem siblings. It never ceases to amaze me what siblings will do to each other and their siblings. My group on siblings was very sober. PJ had a group of caregivers whose parent(s) are in nursing homes. I kept hearing laughter from his group. I asked what was so funny. Apparently, several of the women in the group have mother's in the same NH and they were telling about a new resident who is a streaker. They said staff was having a real job keeping him dressed. I had problems with my mom and other family, but at least my mom was spared dementia and NH.

Well, the move went well though there was lots of to-ing and fro-ing. I reduced mother's clothing to about half which is more than enough and fits nicely in her closets and drawers. Her furniture and paintings complement the room very well. All the staff have been very pleasant and helpful. I even had a call this afternoon from the dietitian about her needs and preferences. They always have mashed potatoes and gravy with meat for their main meal which suits her very well. So all of that is good; however, when we returned to her room from one meeting, a gentleman in a wheelchair had managed to open her door (she had been sleeping) and wheel himself in. There was no staff in sight though mother's room is very near the nurses desk. R wheeled him out, and I asked mother if she was alright. I was concerned about her being afraid, but she said she was OK. A nurse finally came and we told her, and asked her to watch that this did not happen again. It never happened in the ALF. Later the SW visited and we told her and she raised her eyebrows. This unit was a closed unit being made into a regular one, so the patients are probably a little more difficult to manage, and it being an NH they are further along in their diseases. Mother's room is right by the dining area and some of the patients congregate there during the day. Another fellow was very curious when they brought the lift in to get mother up for supper and wheeled over to get a good look. We shut the door. So there are some changes which are not good, but, I think inevitable. She was pleased with her room, and the aide helped her with her supper which was good. The nurse said we could bring in a player and someone there would put on a cd for her. I think she would like that.

The incident makes me feel even more than I was feeling that I need to be closer and visit her more often. We have looked at rentals, but there are are a few very nice apartment type adult condos for sale which I am considering. We would be fine with a small one for now, and with the insurance cheque I can put down a decent down payment and make weekly payments cheaper, than rent. There are some condos in this complex which are being rented out and seem to go fast for a decent price, so eventually this could be a good investment, and meanwhile we would have a home here. R has all the furniture we need stored at one of his bros. I am thinking that this is the way to go. There is a fitness room in the basement, underground parking and is in a very nice area looking out on fields in the edge of this small town west of E'ton.

I have been very tired and sore to a degree and slept like a log last night, but after resting and napping today I am feeling better. The funeral is tomorrow just around the corner from the hotel. After that, depending on materials arriving for R's contract we will head north again. It will be nice to get home.

send - you might have got the better of it by being dropped off, although it had to be a very traumatic experience. My ex was put in residential school which was horrible but he has survived. His mother kept one sister and his brother. His sister committed suicide and bro has had jail time and is a recovering drug addict. Another sis was put up for adoption and she is fine.

upset -a meal on the dock and a walk on the rocks sounds wonderful

sharyn -I still haven't put up some pics from the re.nmos 9 years ago and won't now. You and dd must be anxious to hear the results if E's testing.

ali - I am glad you have moved and am sure it will take a while for you to feel comfortable. Nightmares and banging pipes yuck!!!! As long as you can function the rest will happen in time. A better helper sounds good. Ex find that vinegar helped his stomach. He used to take zantac by the fistfull. Acid drinks settle my stomach too.

stacey - hope they drs find out what is going on -apart from the results of all the stress you have been through. suppose there will be a fuss from bad bro and sis when the will becomes known. It will be good when they are out of the way. Take care of you!!!!

duck - hope you have more decent times with your mum. There can be some advantages as they progress in their disease

glad - so true about moving It happens eventually or it doesn't and that's OK. Late meetings are awful. When I was in the college board which has kate meetings I sometimes went for a walk at 11 at night to try to settle my mind down.

book - honey and ACV sound good. Salt water gargles and nose spray are great as well. Hope you are starting to recover.

Take care all. Look after you!

Book, thanks for the tips and sorry about your flu and allergies. The ACV worked so well for me. I do get pretty regular nausea and having something natural to help seems like a good thing. I was pretty certain that my stomach issues aren't due to too much acid or acid reflux. I think I don't have enough acid. Lemon water, the occasional diet soda, and other acidic things seem to help "settle my stomach." I think in order for honey to be a great help to me, I am supposed to get the local honey to help with local allergy sources...? I recall reading this at some point. I hope you get over the flu quickly. I'm sorry you're sick. I know you still have things going on around your father's passing. (((((hugs))))), Book.

I had vivid nightmares last night, was the worst night of sleep in a while. The new place is full of noises, I knew that. The first day here I kept thinking that I heard someone walk in my apartment. Living on first floor walkup of a 100 yr old building will do that, I guess.

Last night, there was a sound for an hour or so that can only be described as someone banging on the metal pipes in my bathroom. lol Obviously no one is in my bathroom but it sounds like they are. It went on for some time, around 1-2 am. Then there was a hissing sound. I figured that... someone was turning on the radiator heat which hasn't been on yet this season. I checked this morning and yes, it's on now.

I had a dream where it was dark in my apartment. I got up and tried to use my cell phone light to see something, but cell phone wasn't working. Tried to use laptop light, same thing. I turned the knob on my nightstand light, it wouldn't come on. So I get back in bed, thinking that power is out and I'll just sleep until morning and there is daylight. As soon as I'm in bed and lying down, I feel a very heavy man jump on top of me and trap me in the blankets. Then I woke up. It seemed so real! I could feel the knob on my lamp, everything. That was interesting... and I feel like it tells me a little clue about my state of mind, maybe? I have been upset lately, yeah.

Beautiful fall day here. Up and at em. I need to make a decision about the job offer. And you guys are right!!!! These boxes can stay until the next time I move and no one will die!!! If I have my clothes put away, my bathroom functional, my kitchen functional, the rest can wait. I'm working on bath and kitchen this week. Love you guys so much, appreciate the voice of sanity so much.

Upset, I appreciate hearing the news about the caregiver center. Yes, I can picture that people will always want more, but you're providing such an important service in the community. I wish I would have had access to a support center like you've done when I was in the middle of crazy caregiving life. I had AC, though. ☺️

Everyone have a great day.

When I feel like I’m going to get sick, I make a honey and Bragg apple cider vinegar mix in the morning. Pour it into my bottled water and take to work. I will sip it throughout the day. Unfortunately, by day 2, my allergic reactions starts appearing. I don’t know if I’m allergic to the ACV or the honey since drinking apple juice causes hives. In the past, it does work.

I also read that it’s good for acid reflux. I haven’t tried it on that.

Honey is wonderful to take before bedtime. It coats the throat so you don’t wake up with a sore throat from the reflux. I currently have the flu. It WAS great because I was able to cough a lot with minimal throat pain. Unfortunately, I found out that I am also allergic to honey. So, now, I have a very sore throat which I’m now treating with regular salty water gargles. The next best thing after honey.

ACV has some great health benefits. Google it. But keep in mind that it is acidic. Give care to your teeth enamel.

Ahh, Ali, Upset, Sharyn. Moves are awful. Things to hang, boxes to unpack, etc. Just all of you stop being so hard on yourselves, Ali especially. Take a breath, realize the world will not come to an end if you do not get whatever done. It will still be there and it will get done. And eventually is ok. I have not hung anything on the walls and feel like I have been living among boxes for a few years. Oh wait, I actually have been. Just take it easy on yourselves ok or you will make me feel like I am underachieving😢.

Late meeting tonight to bed for me. Those meetings always have me thinking too hard that I have a very hard time winding down.

I'm almost asleep, but just had a seeming epiphany. I'd always heard that a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar could help upset stomach, but never tried it before. Well, I tried it just now. Is it really that simple? Because my stomach feels better, pretty much instantly. Anyone else take it for stomach issues or for any other health reason? I'm curious if I have been missing out on other benefits. It doesn't taste that bad to me. It's a little tangy, but not terrible.

I'm settling down for the eve, thankfully, and was thinking about calling someone a "recreational drug user" like that's a bad thing in and of itself...

And I personally don't think it is. If someone drinks a couple of alcoholic drinks on the weekend, or if they choose to smoke or eat cannabis (which is increasingly legal all over the U.S.), I don't judge someone for that decision. I have a girlfriend who makes edibles from cannabis to treat her neuropathy. I think it's great she has something to help her symptoms.

This dummy guy I was referring to, the reason his rec drug use is a problem is because he's a "party guy." When the weekend comes, he wants to go on a bender for 48 hours, and he'd be happy if I participated. No, thanks. If he wants to do that, whatever, I truly just don't have that much free time plus the stuff he likes to do doesn't even make me feel good. So it irritates me that he's so dense in the head, that when I repeatedly tell him that's not for me, he still calls me regularly when he's high on the weekends and thinks that I should hang out with him and "party." I've yelled at him a couple of times on the phone, yelled at him like I would never yell at any other friend. He has no sense of boundaries. He is incredibly assuming. I don't like him.

And yet... it would be nice to have someone to help me out with work around the house and he's the only one offering to help me regularly. lol I'm still meeting some people, slowly, through online dating service. I think I'll just stick to that and try to meet a better helper/manfriend. ;-)

Stacy you have purt a lot of work and energy in throughout this entire process. Hopefully the chest pain is anxiety or a pulled muscles. Cardiac enzymes and ekg can help determination also if they are done during episodes.

I sympathize with you and Ali and everyone else who has had the turmoil of "paperwork". I just finished completing installment payment forms for job and Irs for the second time. My heart is still beating fast. One . missing or a t not crossed and its invalid. My employer sent intial form in without signing so its a do over.

Stacey I am so glad you husband got his due. Its so true you reap what you sow. One of my biggest concerns is my sister getting my mother to sign everything over to her. It will kill her if I am included in any thing. It bothers me but when it all comes out in the wash I truly hope I see some kind of justice. Bb brother has guilt or greed??
a
Out side of the stree of the forms and have to send payment in I have money order but left payment stubb home. Got other stuff to work out also so my baseline anxiety is a little higher. I am thinking to postphone trip to visit my son in Korea. We usually spend thanksgiving. I have some unfinished and pending business to take care of so I think I will wait till my mind is more at ease.

I hope you are all in good spirit, rays of light and peace to all.

Hi All! I had a follow up appointment with my Dr, and she agreed with me on going off the Buspirone drug, it just was not a good fit for me, and did nothing for my Anxiety, Grrr!

Now I'm headed to the Cardiologist office, to have a stress test, and probably other testing done, but I do hope to get to the bottom of these chest pains, and will continue to find the answers, as this is Our Time Now, and I do want to focus on good health!

My husband's brother continues to call, as his grief and feelings of guilt are eating him up these days.

Bb now wished to come visit, so that he and my husband can go to the cemetery, and look down upon their parents grave, ummmm, a little late Mate!  No word from the evil stepsister! No surprise there!

Whatever, it doesn't bother me one way or another what he does anymore.
According to my FIL'S Will, both my husband's siblings get One Thousand dollars each, and the rest goes to my husband, as well as his entire life insurance policy payout, so you reap what you sow. That's just the way of it, but I'm sure he's expecting more. Copies of his Will will be attached to their inheritance cashiers check, which are going out this week, and then we will be done with the both of them. I'm so tired of dealing with all of this!

I hope you all have good night! Stace

I'm late to your post Ali. But everyone has given you good advice. Take heart Sharyn I moved from OH to ME last fall and I still have boxes to unpack and things to hang. I've accepted that until the additions are finished on my house not everything will be done.

Lots of people utilizing the caregivers center. Many requests for services we don't offer. Many requests for adult daycare. Not going down that road. Like all service agencies, no matter how much you offer, some people want more and not satisfied.

Thank you guys! I ended up paying a local friend (not the bad one, the other one) a little bit of money to help move more things today, and that worked out well. I'm not going to mess with the other guy... ever... again. We know each other through mutual friends, I've always said I don't want to date him but he doesn't seem to really hear that. He's always such drama to deal with, but he's willing to help, so it makes it tough when I do need help from someone. I know he would help me, but... no. He says he wants to put his childish ways behind him, in so many words, but I don't care if he changes or doesn't change. Just... want to him to lose my number, haha. But man, when you need someone to help you move stuff, and you have someone who's willing, it's hard to hold to principles!! lol!!

Alrighty, so I moved some stuff. Found a guy from online who has a 14' box truck, which was way more than I needed for my small amount of stuff today, but whatever, got a bunch more stuff to the new place and I don't feel like crying out of frustration anymore. I'm $140 lighter for the day.

Stacey, so sorry to hear you had chest pains on your lovely vacation. When I read that, I realized -- I don't get chest pains anymore from anxiety (or whatever) and I feel really fortunate for that. I'm so sorry. I hope as some time passes that you feel better.

Sharyn, you're right -- moving is just a huge hassle. It just is. There is no getting around it. How long have you been at new house now? And you mentioned the other day that you still hadn't put any art up on the walls, and I remember thinking... why not? BUT I GET IT NOW. lol It's just been awhile since I did a move like this. This is the biggest one in over a decade, it's moving my stuff from storage unit plus stuff from grandparents' house... and trying to sort out what to take from a house that's been in my family since the 1950's... that is enough of a stressor. For now, I left most of the collectibles at the old place. That will be the final thing I do -- select what heirloom collectibles to keep and what to donate.

I don't think this job offer is the right one for me. It's tempting just because it is actually an offer, the only offer right now, and the money is decent, but it's almost an hour commute each way to far south side. I moved to the city to work in the city! lol!

This move has been a lot tougher on me than I thought it would be. But... I'll keep stepping and thank you guys so very much for just being a much needed source of support on days like this.

I don't know exactly why I'm crying lately. It's crying out of frustration, I know that much. I just feel like there's so much to do all at once. And the actions of the Trust are also very frustrating. I don't know that I want to pursue any legal action against them, I don't know that I even have a case, but I think I'll call around this week to try to get some basic free legal advice. I hate it that they are so unhelpful at every turn. That doesn't make sense to me. Why do they collect their fees for me to do everything that's needed?? Thing is, I don't see how they couldn't just say that there is no caregiving agreement and they would be right. Hindsight is 20/20 on that one.

Ali, I get it! Moving was very overwhelming for me with trying to pack and get done by a deadline. Hubs left for Georgia 2 weeks before we left which in his defense, he bought the ticket back in April before we put the house up for sale. To be honest here, he only packed his own personal items and that was all until the last week when I became very verbal. It was the same thing when we arrived here, he unpacked only his personal items.

I was so overwhelmed I cried and our dd stepped in and had all the boxes that were not for the living room, kitchen and master bedroom placed in the the extra bedrooms.

Moving is very emotional especially when it involves a major life change which is what you are experiencing. No more caregiving, needing a job, moving to your own place after a certain amount of years of caregiving.

Maybe renting a U-Haul type van would be in your best interest at this point so you can get settled. I'm sure being in your dad's house just keeps the feelings of anxiety regarding the trust right at the surface too.

(((Ali))) it will get better and as long as you have no deadline, take a little time to think about how you want to proceed.

Oh Alli, I know what you mean by feeling overwhelmed! Things are finally settling down for us, and frankly, we don't know what to do with ourselves, now that our caregiving days are over. I Sometimes I look around and don't know how to put one foot in front of the other, it all seems so strange that my FIL is gone, and I just don't know what to do with myself.

We did have a terrific vacation, and you could just watch the stress drain away from my husband's face, as he turned back into the fun, funny guy he used to be. I'm still in the recovery mode myself, and the physical symptoms continue.
The day before we left, I saw my Dr, and she did a battery of tests, which all came back normal except for the elevated WBC count and Sed Rate, and there are more tests that I will go over with her today, at my recheck appointment. She Rx'd BUSPIRONE and a Beta-blocker, but after only 4 doses of the Buspirone (for anxiety), I had to d/c it, due to horrible side effects, dizziness and a feeling of being "out of body", and I cannot tolerate symptoms like that. The beta-blocker causes severe tiredness, but I know that those symptoms go away with time and I will stay on that one.

I had chest pains during our wonderful drive through the AVENUE OF THE GIANTS, and thought that if this was my time to "check out", it couldn't be in a more beautiful place, but thankfully I survived and still enjoyed the day very much! Lol!

I am so sad for those who had such difficult childhoods. I find it very hard to relate, as mine was so great, but my husband's was not, so I do understand. Having put so many of the pieces together of my husband's dysfunction family, I swear that I would not have survived it, as I am so sensitive to these types of stressors.

About 3 years ago, two of my sisters were beefing about something so stupid, that they didn't speak for nearly 6 months, which lead me to pull back from social situations it was so upsetting to me. Finally, in early December that year, the one sister (eldest), dropped of a very sentimental gift for Me to give to the one she was beefing with, as sort of an apology I guess, but I didn't feel it my place, and I broke down sobbing it was so heartwrenching to me. 

Finally, the light bulb went off with eldest sister when I told her  "You fix this and fast" as it was tearing Me up inside, as I just cannot handle such strife, and over such stupid reasons in the first place. Within a week it was over and we all went back to being the close sisters we are. We have all vowed not to ever allow such things to tear us apart, as we rely on each other so much, and thankfully nothing like that has happened since!

I've always been "Switzerland" in family squabbles. I don't argue with any of them, ever! It makes no sense to me, after everything we've been through together as a family, but no family is perfect, and there are still some deep seeded and hard feelings regarding the time my parents were both so ill, and moving from my one sisters MIL apartment where my folks lived, to my eldest sisters home in the 3 weeks before my Dad died. But it's all over grief and sadness, and neither able to concede to the others feelings. Long buried now, but I know that there are still some deep resentments between the two of how it all went down, as it was such a stressful time, now 15 years ago, silly really.

 All Families are complicated, and big ones like mine are no different, all those personalities to deal with!

Golden, glad that the move with your Mom will be over with soon, then you can get your eye surgery taken care of before winter sets in. Sorry to hear of your young friends passing!

Send, you should never feel bad about sharing your past and your deep buried pain. Sometimes just chatting about it helps to relieve some of that burden, and if you can't share it here, with so many who have painful pasts, where can you share it? 

We are an anonymous bunch of loving friends who all care so much about one another, Gee, I spill my guts here all the time, and always feel better for it, and receive the best advice and understanding. I hope you do too!

I hope everyone is doing well! Stace

I'm overwhelmed. Golden, you had mentioned something like "this is an emotional time for you (me)," and I thought -- "no... not so much... just need to get moved." HAH. I've been a basket case for a while, it seems to be increasing as I get frustrated with moving. I'm trying to keep moving forward but it seems like, it feels like, I have no help from anyone or anywhere and I'm concerned (rightly so) that Trust won't reimburse... or will drag me through heck for as long as possible before they do... and either way, I'm demoralized by all of this right now. I'm angry. I'm sad. I've cried more in past week than in a year. I have two male friends who "MIGHT" help me get some stuff moved, and I need the room in their vehicles more than I need the muscle, but the one is never-ending drama and I'd be better off to hire someone than to try to deal with him, the other can't commit to a time, so here I still sit - 3 days in a row - at old house... waiting for a helper that doesn't seem to be coming and I'm emotionally so drained that all I want to do is lie down on the bed here, anyway, and just say... "it will happen at some point."

I posted an ad online today to try to get some help. I could also rent a cargo van and do the moving myself, but the rental miles are very limited and...

It's coming down to "how much more money do I want to spend, can I spend?" I suppose if I spend a couple hundred more, it's worth it to get all the way moved out of old house. That's fine. So why do I feel like I've been run over by a truck? Not sure. I think moving around would help. But then I do that and I just want to lay back down for a bit. I'm TIRED. Soooo tired. And weepy! And that's new... I'm not usually weepy. Anxious or agitated, yeah, but not weepy.

Just needed to share. I'll get this moving bit sorted somehow. I just feel so stinking alone. Like if I needed someone to call on really badly, the only person I have is this one friend who is a recreational drug user, who is so much drama, who wants more than friendship... THAT'S the person who will take my call and try to help me. Yikes. I need better friends. I have better friends, just not close by.

I just want to lie here forever... I'm TIRED.  I feel defeated.  And there's no reason to feel that way.  Things are going reasonably well.  I have a job offer that I had to tell them I can't start right away.  Whew.  I feel overwhelmed.  

Ali, all that work gives me the shivers wish you the best.

Country, glad you settled the dilema. Sounds good!! nNothing like a good YaYYYYY!

Golden, I wish you the best with your mother's move. Sounds like a good place. Hope you feel better.

Glad I am happy for you looking for a new kitten. I swear they are so adorable. I am not a cat person but the first one was still on mother tit and even though I dont like cats I became so attached and loved him very much. I remember fighting with him as I put on stockings to go to work or kicking him of bed and his little dances. I thought he was a girl at first. I miss him a lot. you ever seen a cat eat bones.

I tend to babble on and on, but I have to share with you all that I had a nice time with my mother during my days off. When she is lucid and her usual self there is sabatoge and ugly. I become stupid and crazy and a liar and a theif. This is before dementia and all. But now she is at a level where she is more pleasant. I dont know if she is on meds or just a different level as I dont have access. But we had a good pleasant time cooking and watching tv in the kitchen these past few days. She is full of compliments, everything is right or looks good. She even chukkles and make me chukkle with her. We laught at how she uses all the cups up for the dog and the bread. I mean you see a slice a bread on each landing on the floor. She cuts up tomatoes for him. You eat he is right there, can hardly move.

Talked to my cousin, he has a homeattendant. I was glad to hear his voice. Oh and my nephew came by. I thought he was under orders not to have contact with me even though we hugged and he adamantly proclaimsed he is not following that. Well it turns out he says he was missing in action for two months. Didnt have a phone. I had some nice things my son left and said to give tr away. I told him he said he wanted but I kept calling and sending txt to no avial. I left them in front of my door for about 2months and gave them away about 3weeks ago. Now I feel a little bad because there were some real nice things in there. So I loaded him up with whatever he could use from pantry and I am so happy he has been working a week. It was good to see him.
Rays of light love and peace to all.

PJ and I left the gang at home and went over to the coast for lunch. Very nice out - took our meal out on the dock to eat. Went for a walk on the rocks. Nice afternoon.

No car races here either,but many seem to enjoy it.

Our weather keeps bouncing back and forth between 50’s-70’s. Dd said it is not normally like this. Yesterday it was 52, today it is 60, and tomorrow will be 66, then Tuesday is 71. By Friday it will be back in the 50’s. As long as there is no wind, it is very nice.

Send, I did not know this happened to you and your sister. We all have things, not the same but it sure brings us together here with painful pasts and how it has helped shape who we are now.

I wanted to run away so many times. I figured it would be worse when I was found. Back then nothing was set up to protect children from child abuse.

I remember thinking I must have been adopted because I am nothing like my family, lol!!!

BarbBrooklyn-That would be the case. If I didn't see her treat my 'educated' non-disabled younger brother with more respect. Also, If I were an only child, I would agree with you.

Golden-Exactly!!!!

Golden, Very wise to think things through before running away.
I just ran down the street when there was arguing.

Thank you MsMadge and Gershun for your sweet sentiments and acknowledgement.
As usual, I feel that I shared too much, and now am embarrassed. I have always made excuses that others had it much worse than I ever did. But there was huge damage done to my psyche, but mostly not remembering. I am better now.

Send
We're all thankful you were able to rise up and bring humor and guidance to a/C