
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I am not for the races either.
upset - sorry about yet another bill. It has to end sometime.
I guess it's the butterfly effect but bigger term in these situations. One slight difference and the future could be totally different. I guess our actions can affect more than we think at the time.
That was 50+ years ago. That was all I could ever remember about my mother
for all these years, until reading this forum, finding others who went through this too.
Dysfunctional families are the gift that keeps on giving (even in death). Had been so busy the last couple of weeks I hadn't looked at some mail. Friendly collection letter about a credit card in my brothers name that Mom signed for. I called and verified that there were no other cards, closed the account and paid over the phone. I checked the credit bureau again to make sure nothing else outstanding. I'm sick of this garbage. To make things complete, my mother's 94-yr old sister called to see if she could live with me. This is the same aunt whose daughter tried to leave her with me. I told her no. I then called both of her son's and told them they needed to check on what was going on with their mother. One of them said he would go right then and take her to his house if she would leave.
Earlier this evening I went to a concert in town. PJ and one of his grandson's were playing the piano together. I thought they did well, but I'm biased.
Golden, Hope your mother's move goes well. I liked Edward Scissorhands too.
Everyone have a great evening. We're supposed to have frost this evening.
So people carried on in their dysfunctional ways.
glad - I gather ts1 hasn't had a diagnosis or treatment either. Probably she is like sis in that she is fine - it is everyone else that isn't. Sis and mother used to talk about me - especially after they had been very unkind, and comment that I was in one of my funny moods again. They took no responsibility for or denied their behaviour. Gaslighting!
Golden, your sis is very sneaky
sharyn - it will be good to have tie results.
My latest fam dysfun - I found out that my sis had been added as POA onto the documents at mother's present ALF. I corrected that with the new place who reviewed their copies of the documents and saw that only I am POA. I will need to keep an eye on that. I suspect sis added herself. Can't trust her!
I am keeping my dd at arms length because I just can’t go out browsing with her and the boys daily then watch the boys too when she has to go somewhere. It ends up being too much for me being around the boys, their noise and everything being a 3 year old on a daily plus watching them.
Glad, nothing on Craigslist? Petsmart usually has cats, not kittens.
glad - this HAS to be the last move!!! Hope you find a lovely kitty!
It works out well this way as I really need to get the R lens in my glasses replaced before the L eye surgery, as I don't see well through it at all.
We toured the place yesterday and chose a lovely room - bigger than the one she has now and looking out onto a courtyard with bushes as she does now. The community manager, who showed us around, is a very nice gal and urged us to let her know if anything goes wrong as she wants to know. There are more RNs and less aides in this place. Sunday we will go through and reduce mother's clothing and oddments and pack what is coming with her, Sunday evening we will move her furniture etc to the new place and Monday a.m. after breakfast we will transport her there via wheelchair taxi . It actually will be cheaper there as they provide all meds and incontinence supplies etc. We only have to provide a laundry hamper, plastic drawers and ongoing shampoo, lotion etc. as well as clothing, of which I think she has enough. She will be their oldest resident. We will meet with the social worker and mother's RN Monday afternoon to get all the paperwork completed. After that, the next meeting is in 6-8 weeks.
Today I have FM pain and am resting hoping to be better for tomorrow. Too much going on I guess. Thankfully, I know I can rely on R to do most things. He is working a contract right now but able to take some time off.
The funeral for the young woman is Wednesday just a block or so from the hotel which works well as I can walk there if R has to work. I do want to go.
So lots is getting accomplished this visit.
We are still looking for a home from home, but, if that doesn't happen this time, it will next time I come down. There are lots of places. It is just a matter of finding the best one.
Just watched "Edward Scissorhands". Love that movie! On to the "The China Syndrome".
Have a good day all and treat yourself.
Bought kitty supplies today. Now, cannot find a kitty around here. 😟
sharyn thx I know you read about the cancellation. Hope E's testing went well and you enjoy some individual visits with the boys. Not nice to be without insurance. Hope you find what you need soon.
upset - don't postpone the honeymoon too long. Glad that the Centre is doing well. I have no doubt it is a great boon to caregivers.
cm - my memory is failing me. Can you fill us in on the wedding situation? It does sound like you have found a good solution. You would be proud of me. Sis announced her upcoming nuptials to me. I made the proper responses, said I would send flowers when convenient, and offered to host a celebratory meal for them when they come over next spring. I may choke on my food, but I will do for the what mother would have done had she been able, and feel good that I have discharged my obligations.
If you belong to AARP look at their site too
I am so sad for my home state, Calistoga and Santa Rosa have been hit very hard by the fire. More dead and 100s missing. Something like 22 fires total burning in California. We have sent firefighters to California to help.
We have some rain today, but Saturday-Monday we will have temps below 32 with some expected snow, oh boy! I’m sure it will melt off quickly. Starting today the cities will begin turning off sprinkler irrigation. We will have to hire someone to blow out our sprinklers for winters.
Dd will get results of E’ s evaluation in 2 weeks. It took 3 hours instead of 6. L was so much easier to have without dd and E here too. It is funny how a toddlers behavior is so different when they do not have to share attentions.
"Dearest only niece, I can afford a glam weekend in Provence, France; or I can afford to get you a nice wedding present; but I can't afford both. I'd rather get you a present. Lots of love Auntie."
There's no guarantee if I make a spreadsheet that it will contain the info they want. This isn't all that complicated so I'm not sure why they want a spreadsheet. But so they do. Then they can provide an admin person to do that.
We'll see if they'll agree to do it that way.
Almost nothing was paid for in cash, all cards, but most of those cards I don't have anymore. My wallet was stolen a few months back -- I don't have access to any of those old accounts.
Oh man, I sure hope Cubs win. It will go a long way to perking me up. I moved more stuff today from old house to new place. I'm weary but getting through.
Golden, I enjoy my job here and could settle in here. Though, (I use though instead of but these days) the regs have been completely caddiwompus for many, many years, now I have to straighten them out and many are not at all happy with it. I know I have one commissioner that backs me up. There are three of them, one would prefer no regs at all, the other seems to sit on the fence. There are so many things that need fixing. Do I have the energy?
Golden, I hope your surgery went well.
I think we're probably going to have frost tonight. It's about time.