The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Upset, congratulations!! I couldn't be happier for you and PJ. Just be sure you have a little night light in the bathroom you use. It removes that element of surprise on the toilet! Sweet blessings!!

Congratulations, Upset!

I feel sure that you have it in you to train them up to be really good husbands and partners by putting the toilet seat down!

Sharyn, Glad you're getting along good with your tooth.

Got married on Tuesday. Submitted all the paperwork. Everything got approved and I should have insurance cards tomorrow effective 10/1.

I brought a bunch of my stuff to PJ's. It's little more noise than I'm used to with three boys (twins age 8 and a 12-year old). They are nice boys. There are 3.5 bathrooms and not a single one had the toilet seat down. I guess I won't see a seat down for the rest of my life.

Golden, that is great news!!

Thx sharyn - hope the tooth pain is not worse. I had a dry socket once and the pain was excruciating. I would think that you are safe now, but sticking to bland soft food is probably wise. So very nice that E has made a friend! Hope the evaluation is useful. Six hours is a very long time for anyone, but especially for someone his age!!! I don't know how they can do it.

I have the email and phone number of a food testing lab in Ontario and am waiting for a text from R regarding how to proceed. The gal I spoke to seemed to think that this lab could do what I need. One step at a time!

Golden, maybe the media can help with the lab testing. Do you have something along the lines of consumer affairs organizations?

I know I'm being a baby but I am being super cautious with this tooth extraction. I'm so afraid getting dry socket, lol!! I'm still sore but nothing that needs rx pain meds. I promised hubs I would make chili this week which I'm physically up to, but it's not something I want to chance eating yet because of spices. Tomorrow will be chili day, lol!!

E will be evaluated on the 13th. It is 6 hours!! He has made a friend in pre school. Another boy with speech issues. So sweet to know he and this boy play together.

sharyn -that could have been dangerous. Yeah, still feeling the yuck factor,

We haven't found a lab yet. Still working on it.

Saw the eye guy here and all is well. He recommends against laser surgery for my astigmatism which is fine. I will get new glasses after the second cataract surgery.

The fall colours here this year are amazing. I walked in the woods after supper and tried some pics in the twilight. I need to get out tomorrow in the daytime and take shots of some of the trees I saw today. Love the fall colouring.

Hope everyone is OK. (((((((hugs))))))) to all.

DDDuck, I don't know how people who have a black stub can stand the pain. When it involves dead tissue in the tooth like mine did, the pain from infection becomes unbearable. These infections can become sepsis if not treated. I had an abscess as a child that was turning the under eye Area blue and was taken to the dentist late at night to remove it. I was on an antibiotic but the infection (I was told) , had become sepsis.

Thanks Golden and DDDuck. I wish I had been able to save the tooth. It's my own misdoings as I did not realize ( for whatever reason due to lack communication or lack of understanding), I had 60 days to get insurance.

Yes my son is fine. He is checking in on the app because he has to drive this area to and from work.

Golden, going to the media may be a good option. I hope you and R can find a lab who will test it. That is frustrating. I can understand your feelings about the situation and having a psychological effect. I know it would for most people.

Have a good night everyone.

Sharyn , glad you survived the surgery. These dental issues can really make you sick. I see people with black stubb in their gums and wonder about pain or the time it take to get a stump. Anyways happy healing. Glad that's over for you.

upset -the deed should be done by now. You are not marrying for insurance, you are marrying for love. The insurance is a minor factor in the timing. Sounds like a good idea to stay at pj's until the renos are completed. The center is officially opening soon. Yay!!!

sharyn - glad the extraction went well and hope you are more comfortable now. Have you heard from your son? It is worrying when we don't. That face book app is great. You are right about the seal and carbonation. The bottle appeared normal.

duck - glad your lunch turned up, but sorry it was inedible. The nerve - or is it dementia mum? Love gladiolas.

ali - happy you are home safely. Now you have a big job ahead of you sorting and planning.

stacey - the long goodbye is winding down. Your family is such a blessing. So glad sil and bil were not there. Your time for a break is coming up. The bottle was sealed so it happened probably before bottling, maybe during mixing - definitely before it got to the store.

momshelp - hopefully bro is more hot air than anything. I can stay basically no contact with my sis. But I have spent some time worrying what she might get up to. Then I decided to let it go and deal with anything if and when it happens.

Seeing the local eye guy tomorrow. Had a couple of light flashes in the area of the surgery as I closed my eyes last night - only when I opened or closed, but they didn't stay and that was it - nothing since. So hopefully whatever it was has fixed itself.

Saw my dr today to report about what I swallowed with the fizzy stuff. He thinks I should go to the press. The effect it is having on me is more psychological than physical. I don't gross out easily, but this has done it. We are still trying to find an independent lab that will analyse the stuff. Tomorrow R will go to a University lab that does testing. I will call another one further south again.

Have a good night everyone. I have been snoozing on the sofa and hope that will not interfere with my sleep. 😫

I don't think it would have happened st the grocery store because you would have notice if the seal was broken plus the carbination would have gone flat.  

Golden, OMG YUCK! I'm wondering if some grocery store worker injured himself at work night stocking or something, used the soda to rinse off his injured fingers, and forgot to pick it back up, and you ended up being the "lucky" purchaser? Or, it one of those horrible product tampering cases like they had with Acetaminophen a few years back. Either way, it's disgusting, and I'm just sure you will be OK, with all the absorbic acid that pop contains, if should not affect you adversely, still it's gross, and you should definitely get to the bottom of it if you can! I hope you kept your store receipt! So sorry this happened to you Sweetie!

Things are plugging along, the whole family is set for Sunday, so that's good! I've just got to find a decorative box to hold all the kids memories of their Grandpa, to keep on our mantle.

Next up is what to do with 25 "no kidding", picture albums!

I have most of my kids childhood photos still in a big box, and never got around to putting them into albums, lazy working mother syndrome, lol, so this it rediculous!

I am definitely not going to be responsible for shipping them off to hubby's siblings, not that the've shown any interest, but coincidently, the both want the old trunk full of skeletons, up in my shed! Hmmm, I know that they know that there is a lot of incriminating information in it, and As If we would just turn all that over for them to destroy it! Well, I would actually, but hubby won't, and I'm not sure why he wants to keep it all, but I'm thinking he feels it's family history, no matter how bad and horrible it all is, and it IS!!!

His family of 3 siblings is all he has left, that and one girl cousin, whom I cannot locate a telephone number as they are all disconnected, to notify her of her one Uncle's passing, so now we need to drive about 50 mile to try to locate her, up on one of our nearby islands in Puget Sound. The drive will be nice, but sort of weird to pop up on someone's doorstep to say surprise, your Uncle has passed away. Ugg, when does this all end? I'm not even sure she still lives in the same house, and my husband does still have her Dad, an Uncle by marriage still living (I think), but he has advanced Dementia, and hubby hasn't seen any of them in 3 years. I can't believe how fractured this family is! Whereas I see or speak to my siblings on the daily or weekly at worst! Some might say too close, but I say connected and supportive! And we Never fight, we tell it like it is, and sometimes our feelings get hurt, but we get Over It Quickly!

I'm way to sensitive to deal with family strife, and I've never had to, as I am the youngest girl of 4 girls, and a brother on each end, and I am Switzerland, and make my sisters work it out and leave me out of it! I never beef with any one of them, so this whole dysfunctional family business is a mystery to me!

Oh if you all could just see how My family loves and supports one another, you would die! I'm not sure if it was the whole, parents and extended family immigrating to this country in the 1950's and sticking together sort of thing, or if it was that my parents truly loved us and treated us all so equally, but whatever it was, We have tried our best to instill it in our kids, and so far, they are super close and get along well, even though they are 2 sets of step kids! Our eldest kids were 5 when we met, my daughter was 3, and hubby's youngest boy was only 5 months old. Both of us were in the midst of our divorces, and we met, total rebounders, and now 33 years later, we're still hammering it out,
Lol! We've been through a lot over the years, and we're very strongly bonded, so I've no worries, once we get this grieving process worked through.

It's gonna be interesting to see how we get rid of this old stuff, I mean how do you do it? With my folks, they had downsized 3 times, and my Mom ended up on Hospice in my sisters home, and then there were 6 of us to go through their simple belongings in the tiny MIL apartment (all together at One time!), where they lived with my other sister prior to my Dad's passing, Easy Peasy!

I just wish my lazy BIL Would come with a truck and take all this junk away once and for all, it not that much really, but my husband is too sentimental for his own good, the consummate collector! Grrrr! Can you tell I'm getting frustrated yet? Lol!

Love YA'LL!

It would be very unusual for a judge to award guardianship to another when mom made her choice and has a DPOA in place. Bro would need to show and prove to the court very good cause to change anything that mom had documented and put in place.

Momshelp, good you have DPOA. Hopefully your brother will leave things alone.

Thank you Send! I'm a bit sore so just hanging out watching tv using an ice pack to prevent swelling.

Sharyn, Happy that tooth is gone! You did good, following through for your own health like that.

SharynMMarie, ouch your tooth! I get my teeth cleaned in 4 sections, that's how much of a sissy I am. Yes I have medical & financial POA & im successor trustee. No he didn't threaten, I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop & I know I have to stop that. I've looked into guardianship & since I have everything else I don't want to spend the money & involve the courts. I'm just thinking that would be a vindictive route he can take.

I logged on to Facebook to see my son had marked safe regarding the canyon fire in SoCal. I tried to text him but the message failed. It is probably because his employment has no cell service due to the fire.

Stacey, my tooth was removed in sections to avoid perforating the sinus. I'm still numb and waiting for the norco to kick in just so I can relax and sleep. Buster is quiet the cutie, full of energy, bouncing and do funny to watch. I am happy that hubs has been following through so well plus I get joy seeing how he enjoys Buster. There are times when Buster is a bit too much, but he is a puppy. He will begin puppy training at petsmart in a couple weeks. He already understands sit and stay.

Blessings to you Stacey and your dear hubby, take care and enjoy that much earned vacation.

Momshelp, do you have DPOA ( durable power of attorney)? Has your brother said or threaten to get guardianship? Can you get guardianship? It is an expensive process taking up to 8 months.

SharynMMarie & golden25, & all of you that listened to my whine regarding my brothers text. I've still been in a tailspin over the ramifications & what he'll do. He's disfunctional so I'm sure he's stewing & although I wish that saying he's done is the truth, my experience is its not. I've kept a civil long distance relationship with him for years. We are not long distance, always been within 25 miles of each other. 2-3 visits a year for 2 hour meal. Anyway if I wasn't taking care of mom we wouldn't have been at a gathering together. Being moms caregiver puts me in sight of all of this disfunction. I was thinking if he goes for guardianship, I would feel bad because mom would go to his garage bedroom--which she always said she didn't even want to spend a night in. Or to a nursing home but I would get relief & be able to be done with all of them. I didn't think through everything involved in caring for mom. Uuuggghhhhh I'm still whining & there are so many bigger problems on here.

SharynM, how's that toothache of yours? And your new puppy, and the twins?

Golden, how's Mama and your new eyesight post surgery. I hope all is well!

Veronica, how are your eyes now too? Doing well I hope!

UpsetSister, your new caregivers community center sounds Fabulous!

Golden thanks for the hugs, and hugs to you. I think watching what you planted and God's work is soothing and therapeutic. A friend down the block is involved with different street gardens. There are times that the Botanical Gardens here give out left over bulbs to the gardens and she bought me a few. I had planned to plant them around this new everygreen bush in a pot. I am moving the baby hydrangea to either a tirepot or in a spot next to tree. Probably this week sometime. Then sit back and get surprised next year lol. I love gardening. I don't have much to work with. I'm thinking about trying the gladiolas again. I never got to see the first ones bloom. Saw some in store on Sunday. Used to be that there were gladiolas in every bouquet of flowers when I was growing up, now I hardly see them.

Stacey, my condolescenses to you and your family. You went through a lot and fought the good fight.
You and Hubby sound almost like the Brady Bunch :). If you too can stick together through all of that it sounds like you got a lot of love and will get to discover a whole lot. I wish you the best especially after you sort things out and hit the road. The Fall scenery is really something to behold.

PJ and I have been trying to figure out where everyone is going to fit. Finally decided I'll move in his place until additions at my house are complete. My brother can stay put. Got all my health insurance application completed. All we have to do now is get married and fax a copy of marriage certificate and application to the benefit office. They said they would issue cards and send overnight before Oct 1st. Health insurance is not the most romantic reason for getting married, but in my case critical.

Ali, Glad that you're back home safely. Lots of work to do for you.

Stacey, Hope you get out of town quickly. 

I'm taking a few days off. Then next week the push will be on for getting everything done and ready for the caregiver center to open.

Sharyn I guess by now you are tired but relieved.
Cmag, forgive my ignorance but living out long term care insurance? How? Stepsister sounds wonderful and loving. Gee it would be nice if all sisters had same spirit. She sounds serious and has it all worked out. Lovely.
Golden, keep us posted on lab results. That is so crazy.

I came home today 1 container from my lunch was in fridge. The cabbage with neck bone and pig tail, it had gone bad. I surely hope my mother ate or gave that food away. Yikes. Got the man coming again for the fridge. Its not even five years old and the leaking water I turned the temp colder I think its better. Suction molding around door pulls gets sucked off door when you open it. I think we got a bad brand. I have seen fridges older that work better with no problems.

Ali, I can't complain as I have not had an abscess since I was a child. My baby teeth came in bad for some reason. I was given floride tablets but every time I took them I ended up with kidney infections, not fun when your only 4 years old. I had braces too, 4 teeth were pulled for braces when I was 13. Last time I had a tooth pulled. I would like to save the tooth but with no insurance and mostly because of finances with a major move, just not doable. I don't want to charge it then have the payment to contend with right now. Flossing, I think we all are prone to not following through like we should haah!!

Stacey, I know *exactly* what you mean by saying it was surreal when your FIL passed. It's an odd thing to be caring for someone and while you know death is coming, it still seems strange when it happens. You did a great job and I'm really proud of you. Fwiw, the "empty nest" period of a marriage is supposed to be a nice time in a marriage, according to a book I read. I hope it is for you.

Golden, what a strange happening with that soda pop!! That is horrifying!! No, you didn't need that. You're smart to get it documented independently of the place. Geesh, I'm sorry.

Sharyn, sorry for your toothache. So far in my life, I'm pretty fortunate with only needing braces but no cavities. My mom was big on fluoride treatments when I was a kid. Maybe that helped me? I'm lazier about flossing and brushing than I care to admit... o_0

Upset, how long will the work on the house be going on for? Good to be getting things accomplished.

Hey all, everyone, hope you're good. I'm back in south Chicago area and have unpacked the truck into the garage here. Everything needs cleaning and sorting. If I could go back in time I would figure out a different way to keep my things other than storing for forever and now some things, like my sectional sofa, look questionable as to whether or not I can clean them up sufficiently.

Glad, yeah, I did leave a lot of my dining room furniture there in Las Vegas, knowing I didn't need it for new place.

So, so, so, so much to do in the next week. I just keep saying "one day at a time." I've mapped out tomorrow's To-Do list. It's daunting lol but... somehow, it will all get done ok, things will work out.

Stacey, I have been thinking about those two and for your sake am glad they didn't show up ....good riddance to bad rubbish and hopefully your hubs is done with them too. On the other hand I'm kind of sad for the old man, even if he did reap what he sowed.