
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
You gave FIL a wonderful caring end to his journey
Hugs
((((((stacey))))) hugs and deepest condolences. You and hub did your fil proud. I hope that you have some closure now for all the years you spent looking after him. I am glad he was grateful at the end. Hopefully that holiday is coming up soon. You have more than earned it. I know now you are overwhelmed with feelings and all that has to be done. Take some time just for the two of you to debrief and catch your breath and rest. More hugs and prayers. Blessings to you both.
Sadly, my FIL passed away this morning. He had been unconscious for about 48 hours, and then spiked a fever this morning. We made him as comfortable as possible, cool cloths, cool room, and while I was on the phone to my Hospice Nurse, hubby came out of his room and said that there was a change in status, and as it turned out, he was gone. I had only just slipped out to call my Nurse, as I didn't want to talk in front of him. I was so glad I had her with me at that moment, to verify his dying, and she will be here shortly to verify his death, and call the funeral home.
I want to thank you all for being such incredible friends to me here on the AC, and Thank you all So much for your wonderful support the last difficult days, weeks and months, and for teaching me all about Narcissistic behavior!
He is at peace now, off to Heaven to be with his wife, and his family gone before him.
He has been a Gem, except for only one day here at couple of days ago, but we knew he wasn't feeling well.
We will be busy with funeral planning and family in the next few days, but I'm not going anywhere, I'll be back, once things settle down again.
Then you all can give me advice on a good vacation, as we truly need one! Lol!
I'm so rummy now, my mind is reeling of what to do next.
I have yet to tell my kids, as we don't want them rushing here, all upset and getting into an accident, so we are waiting until after quiting time, to make our calls to them.
I must go now, but Thank you all! You're all so Lovely!
Your Friends, Stace ❤❤❤
PJ was here this morning. He answered the phone and it was my SIL. He. He politely told her she was violating restraining order and then called the police and gave them the number from which she was calling.
Today at caregivers group the topic is anger and resentment. I have a psychiatrist, a counselor and a couple of other facilitators. I'm too angry myself to be involved. Our center is on schedule. Finishing up inspections, polishing things up and getting supplies. It looks nice and we have two people hired for full time employment and two for part-time. We'll be open M-F 8-8. Sat and Sun Noon - 5. These may change with demands. We also have 4 supervised graduate level social workers during the week - some morning, some afternoon.
sharyn -hope you are feeling better
madge - coming from you that is a great compliment.
upset - I am sorry about more bills. They have a lot of gall.
guest - still working on things but, over all, better than worse. So sad about sil's father. They really did not look after him well. I sure understand that it will be hard making sympathetic noises. I would do well to keep my mouth shut.
- a little flakey still, I have some CFS flare up, but it has turned the corner and is on the way out. I am on 3 sets of eye drops - a steroid for the remaining time till the next surgery, and an antibiotic and a NSAID for another 10 days. He has covered all the bases! I will see my optometrist in about a week for a report on how healing is progressing.
Raining again - the lawn loves it. We brought the tomatoes in last night as it was snowing in southern AB and getting colder at nights here. Hopefully the little fruits will grow with the plants in the south window.
Golden, so glad surgery went well. And it's great that you've been able to work out difficulties and make your relationship good again. You are such a strong and positive influence.
Upset, I understand about the bills. When my aunt died, my cousin kept trying to get money out of my mother for bills that aunt had run up spending alone the money that grandmother left for both mom and aunt. Cousin could not believe the money train had left the station without him on it....
Going to a funeral on Monday. My SIL's father who lived with her and my brother. I've written about it before - the gentleman that was left alone for 3 weeks while my brother and his wife went on extended trip to IRELAND with a 20 year old girl and daily neighbor only check in - Vietnam vet with Agent orange, chest mass suspicious for cancer after lifelong smoker, heart patient, Parkinson's with advancing dementia. M was ready to join his wife, I'm accepting that. But I still struggle with the fact that he died alone at the house when my brother and his wife left him alone again a week after return from Ireland to drive to West Virginia for a togetherness trip. My brother took contract job here where I live for a year 150 miles away from his home finished 1 week before Ireland trip and was starting another contract job in WV Sep 9 and kept talking about how he and SIL were sharing the hands-on caregiving role. I love my brother, but it's gonna be hard to make sympathetic noises when they bemoan the fact that M died and was found in front of Fox TV with both dogs standing vigil by a neighbor. Keep smiling!
Try to have a little fun in Vegas, Ali
Spa massage, nice meal, a little pai gow
Clove oil works great for a toothache.
I would be able to let go of some of my anger a little easier, if I didn't keep getting bills that my Mom signed for on behalf of my brother and SIL. Got another one today. This one has my SIL name on it. I called the company and explained that my mother was a dead co-signer. I gave them my SIL's phone and mailing address. I also gave them phone numbers for her Dad and her sister in case what I gave them had changed. I gave them everything I knew about her finances.
Essential oils have "Clove", smells great.
Send your humor is off the chain. Edelweiss on utube!! Girl I