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Sad memories of Sept 11th. The world became a less secure place on that day.

sharyn I remember thinking the first plane could have been an accident , but then the second one came, and all knew it was no accident. I don't think you make bad impressions generally. I find I am having to be very careful when write to the insurance co. I really want to be sarcastic!!! What is it about insurance companies?

upset the ferry ride would be nice but cool. Glad you have had some nice experiences on your trip. In the midst of sadness or turmoil it helps. It would be a little scary that your mum was in the towers a couple of weeks earlier. The events of Sept 11 th were devastating.
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I can see how my humor and sarcasim gets the better of me when I mean no harm. I guess i just make bad impressions.
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An example of how dysfunction from childhood continues into aldulthood and we need to watch our words even though our words are meant as a sarcastic joke.

Sample letter from insurance agent: I, SharynMMarie, lost my group health coverage on May 31, 2017. I had the opportunity to apply for cobra which was very expensive so I decided to apply for $$$'klk in California. I completed the application in California but the process was not completed.

Due to moving, I was not able to get to said insurance company to complete the process.

I could have completed the process in California knowing the insurance was not available but decided it would be a waste of time.


Now, this was not word for word of what I actually said to the agent, but this is how he intreptrd it.
I was furious when I read this sample letter!!! After going off the deep end, I realized what I actually said to this man jokingly, as a sarcastic person, his take on me. Knowing I have a responsibility to present myself as the status quo goes, I still have a lot of growing to do and am grateful he gave me the opportunity to put it in my own words, lol!!!
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On 9/11 I was working as a mental health evaluator in a rural WV hospital. Sitting in the ER I watched the whole thing. Two of the doctors were from NYC and worried about family and friends.

My Mom was still able to travel at that time. Two weeks before, she and some friends had been to NYC to see Broadway shows. They had gone to the restaurant at the top of one of the towers for dinner. I had been there once in 1995. It's a horrible memory for everyone.
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September 11, 2001 I just pulled into the parking lot at work. A co- worker told me what happen with the first plane at the twin towers. I blew it off Thinking something went wrong on the plane. I was working on washing tomato seeds when I heard on my radio about the second plane and the Pentagon. Everything else unfolded as we at work were in disbelief, fearful and very saddened.

These hurricanes are a tremendous force and I will take living with earthquakes any day. My niece in Gainesville did not get hit as hard as expected though there has been much rain and without power since 1 am. My nephew, who is in the military working in Africa, has a home 50 mikes south of Savannha Ga. and 5 miles off the coast; we are hoping for the best in terms of flooding from the storm surge afterwards. At least he is safe and homes can be replaced even though it is very stressful and time consuming. Prayers for comfort and safety to all who are experiencing this storm and the damages.
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Birdie, favoritism is a common thing with many. My sis was very favored and given to by my parents. You are in good company here. I stood by my mom to the end knowing she saw me as irresponsible because I knew I was not and I believe she knows the truth now. My sis did a good job handling finances but she also treated me like her slave while I did most of everything for my mom except for the last year and a half. I hope to hear from you on this thread!!
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Golden, The addition is coming along fine. The proportion looks good which I was a little concerned about. I'm on the ferry coming back from Halifax. A little too cool to sit outside today. We've had a nice time. Beautiful waterfront hotel and many nice restaurants.
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Remembering Sept. 11, 16 years ago.That morning I was watching a live TV program which was showing the twin towers, and heard the horrified announcer as we saw the plane fly into them. Initially it was hard to believe. At work, a large TV was set up in the lobby of the college so all could follow what was happening. Now the hurricane is causing so much loss of property but not the loss of lives we saw that day. How life can change in a few hours.
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upset - How is the building addition coming along?

Trust that everyone is safe and well. Irma is downgraded now to a tropical storm and hopefully will stay there. Tremendous amount of damage has been done so far in Florida and places south.

Getting organized for the cataract surgery. Need to put in drops 3 days in advance. Not sure what those are for but I will do it, of course. R will come up and drive me down and back. Slowly getting things accomplished that have been postponed for a few years. It feels good. 😊👍
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Birdie, Welcome to this thread. I have a little knowledge of a brother who took advantage of my mother. It was horrible. He and his wife and adult children did everything in their power to take everything they could from our mother. They didn't succeed in the end, but not for lack of trying. It sounds as if you've done your best for your mother and that you're continuing to do so. Just make sure that your brother doesn't do anything to your personal finances. My brother's family went so far as to do things to me personally. It was a mess to clean up. My mother died in May and brother later. I have a restraining order against his wife and adult children. I'm fortunate that I have another brother who is close to me.
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birdie - I am sorry about your situation. It is very hard when a parent picks a favourite child to be POA financial and health, then requires the help of another child. It is even harder when the POA abuses their power. It sounds like you have tried very hard to set things right without success. I don't have any answers for you, just sympathy for the stress you are under. At least you have a clear conscience knowing you are helping you mum.

barb - I think it was very wise that your parents brought you up with the expectation that there would be no inheritance. Mother tended to dangle money in order to manipulate. The only way to deal with that was to back right out of it. I am appointed as executor and don't know what the latest version of her will is as it is in her lawyer's office. Franky, I am happy not to know. I do what I have to as POA regardless.
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I just want to say, my brother was POA and is now executor. I never had any knowledge of mom's finances. She and my dad trusted bro and my sil ( who has an MBA). No one was asking me for money.

We were brought up with the assumption that there would be nothing left at the end.
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My brother, as mom's poa, is liquidating all of her stocks, as I knew he would, telling her he needs it in her "checking account" . All accounts and brokerage accounts etc. have been blocked from view to mom, me, Maybe siblings, etc. He did this to my father, then declared him incompetent and denied me access. Mom thinks I'm crabby, no lawyers will do anything, I've been calling every available agency since this started with my father 8 years ago. THERE IS NO HELP. I have gone as high as states attorney many times. This is a bad way for things to go for families, as elders become a large portion of the population now. Mom, of course, at 94, doesn't get it. She is still considered compétant, so that's how poa gets away with this, he just babbles anything, she believes it. He's done it before and is brazenly going forward with it AGAIN, meanwhile, I take on to doctors hairdressers, market, essentials, clothes, and am on call with doctors hospitals, nurses, etc. Yet he still tricked her into having him as POH, too. She said she doesn't understand how that happened, but won't change it because he told her she can't afford any lawyer! Not true! He even took everything she owns, saying nobody else has room for it. I got her into assisted living a bit over a year ago, one day later I was in court because they came after ten years of no contact saying she should be home saving her money for her children. The judge threw them out, but she was so happy to see them they just seemed to then twist her thinking, saying I only help her because they ARE TOO BUSY ! My job actually lets me me work around Moms appointments, but I'm unable to be promoted as a result. I see this happen in front of me and society as it is now does not one thing to prevent financial and emotional elder abuse.
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OMG, it's 11:30am, and he's Still sleeping! I am thinking that this infection is taking hold, and that's not a bad thing. I just pray that we know what to do, in the event things get scary! Keeping him comfortable does not seem to be a problem thus far. He has never been a complainer about health issues. Never one to give in and say there is a problem as he is always perfect!

Thanks for everyone's well wishes and prayers! I keep thinking that this is getting closer and then he rally's, so we will see what the day brings.

I can't take my eyes off of the Weather Channel! Wow, the destruction is immense! So sorry for what is to come to all of those displaced people, it it tragic! Prayers for the Hurricane victims!
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Thank you Glad and Golden. My mom took Ativan the last few days of life with no bad effects. Many can, others cannot

We are much cooler too, air is a lot better. My bro in Montana said they are better too. I've been following Irma. The news junkie and fascination in hurricanes that is part of me. Not the destruction but the force of nature and unpredictability of nature. Praying for all in the wake.

Just being lazy today, the boys wore me out yesterday, had lots of fun blowing bubbles with them.

Enjoy some time for yourselves.
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Stacey, we are all praying and thinking about you, your hubby and family...((((hugs))))
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sharyn - good point about drugs acting atypically in some seniors

glad - that was scary about your mum's agitation being increased.

upset - 37 hours!!!! Whoa!

jessie - what a boon that it keeps your mum calm. That is all that matters now.

stacey - he is still asleep - great. Hope you and hub had a good sleep too. Looks like the latest combo is working. I think Veronica is right that the end is not far off. A looker of a male nurse is always a bonus. That woke you up, I bet!

Thankfully I can take ativan and do occasionally for sleep. It worked like a charm when I went for the ultrasound and needed a full bladder. I didn't feel any urgency to go after drinking the required  4 cups of water an hour before the appointment -and then the tech was late.

Very cool here today. Feels like the first day of fall. Hope the tiny tomatoes keep growing. I will start up a fire in the fireplace later. Feels like comfort food time - grilled cheese sandwiches and home made tomato soup.
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My mom started taking Xanax at night to help her sleep at about age 80. Worked well. Eventually she needed some during the day as well. she worried constantly about becoming dependent.

Once she moved into IL (mostly due to anxiety) new geriatric psychiatrist switched her to klonopin, which is in the same class of drugs, but seemed to suit mom better.

She was on a low dose of klonopin until the end.
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Thanks Stacey.
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Jessie, If they work for your Mom that is great and I don't think addiction should be a concern for an elderly person. I'm 67 and for whatever reason I don't have typical reactions to drugs. Drug manufacturers do state for many drugs that there can be adverse reactions for those over 75. But by all means if they work for your Mom - use them.
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SharynM, he takes Lorazepam, Gabapentin Oxycodone, Tylenol at night, and Hospice has now added in Haldol (for agitation) and morphine too. Those first 4 med he's been on since the beginning, the last 2 just these past couple of days.

FIL did final sleep after 9pm, after husband went in and gave him more Lorazepam and Haldol. It's 8:30an, snd he's Still sleeping! Thank God! It's nice to get some coffee in me before the workday begins. Love to All!

Crazy Hurricane News Day! Zowza! Stay Safe!
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My mother takes Ativan each night to help her sleep. It works well to calm her nerves down some. Honestly, I don't know what she would do without it. She started taking Valium when she was in her 30s. She has been taking some type of benzo since that time. She has been taking the Ativan for 20 years or so. She's 91 so there's not much point in trying to change things now.

I think anyone who is toward the end of their lives shouldn't worry about addiction on the minor sedatives. My only concern would be if they had too much and lost balance. Falling is a big concern. My mother takes 0.5 mg twice a day and it doesn't seem to affect her balance.
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All benzodiazepines can have an opposite than intended effect on someone over 65. My doctor gave me Ativan last year in the middle of my dys problem. I took one 0.50 mg tab and stayed up for 37 hrs. Didn't try that again. Much would depend on his body weight and other meds. I would run by his hospice nurse.
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Stacey, yes, Sharyn is right. Did not even occur to me until I read Sharyn's comment. Ativan has the opposite effect as intended, as do many meds, on some of the elderly. My mom could not take Ativan it made her completely nuts, agitated! My suggestion? Hospice hospital, they will figure it out.

You need sleep too!
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Stacey, I may be confused, if he is taking Ativan in the evenings, can't Ativan in some elderly individuals, cause the opposite effect?
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It's pure Madness I tell ya!

The day went on, with FIL much more subdued during the daytime, but 6pm hits, getting him ready for sleepy time and then his agitation starts all over again! Hubby gave him his bedtime meds as we always do, and then the Moaning begins again calling out, saying weird things again. More meds as instructed, and still he calls out and when either of us gets up to check on him, but he doesn't recall why he called out for us in the first place, so tiresome! Ugg! 9:13pm, hubby headed off to bed, and we're just praying that this last dose knocks him out enough that we can both get some rest.
Sundowners? We don't know, but maybe some of you who may have gone through something simular have some suggestions? We are stumped!

I'm headed to sleep myself and hope sleep comes. The crazy part in all of this is my little Charlie-girl hears Everything, and if he (FIL) alerts to something, she goes nuts until one of us checks on him. I think we all need some sort of sedative at night, so we can all get some sleep. It was very weird day, that went by so fast, and nothing got done other than waiting on and worrying about FIL.

It'so tiring! One way or another, he going to sleep, even if we need to double up on the sleepy time meds! One for you and 2 for me, Lol! No, just kidding! I do have a Rx sleeping aid, but I'm afraid to take it for fear I won't hear him!

I hope that everyone who has been affected by the Hurricane and storms, as well as their families are safe and sound tonight and throughout the weekend! Prayers for all!!!
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Staceyb: I've been following this thread for a while. Parents are in AL near me, but I still have duties & obligations. Re: your FIL& his restlessness - I've heard some caregivers will take the bed frame away & have the patient sleep on the mattress on the floor. Seems improper, but it may prevent a fall.  All depends on the patient & circumstances, of course, but sometimes you have to get creative.  Again this may not resonate with many, but it could work for some.
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Stacey, I have no experience with what you're going thru. But what does come thruclearly is that you and your husband are clearly taking the necessary steps to provide your FIL comfort, compassion and dignity for what may be the last stages of his illness. Blessings.
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Thanks for sharing what you're going through. It helps you to release those fears. And to us so we can appreciate what you and your husband are going through, the tiredness, the fears, etc... and how different FIL is now in the daytime. Now that he's a bit stabilized, you and hubby can take turns on some shut eyes before tonight. You both are doing great! {{{HUGS}}}
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Staceyb
You probably know but you should be able to contact Hospice 24-7 for assistance. Hospice came in the wee hours of the morning to check what was going on with my StepDad, hold my hand on deck and calm me down. RN stayed with me for about an hour...in the wee hours of the morning...2 or 3 am.
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