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Golden,
Yeah rats are icky, I was just floored how much to get rid of, clean up and replace the damage, about 5k! There goes my A/C! 😩
Upset, thanks! I have to catch up on everyone, Mom is doing alright for now.
Glad, so sorry about Macy! I was destroyed when I lost my little black cat, absolutely inconsolable so I understand! (Big Hug) 😥
I promise to catch up on everyone's posts later tonight when I have some quiet time.
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Rainey, my tolerance level decreases for many threads too. I wonder why some have survived for so long. Some I wish I had never read. At least I realize fairly early. This thread is the best, though, truth be told, sometimes.....

Losing Macy, is harder than losing mom and L. With folks, knew it was coming for a long time. First hint that Macy's time was up was just two weeks ago. Now I will find out how much I really enjoy my own company. 
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Rainey, Glad you're back. Rats are the worst. Hope you get them cleaned up and out quickly. Take care of yourself. Hope your Mom is doing well.
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sharyn - actually it went alright even though the tech was late. What you have to do to get insurance!!! Seems unreasonable. Our air quality here today is bad due to a fire 70 miles north of us. Your poor bro surrounded by fire and with bad air quality. I hear you about sorting and unpacking. I still have a lot of sorting to do.

veronica - you need to keep the bladder full!!! Depends won't help that. I did wear a little protection just in case. I have what I am sure is an ovarian cyst. The tech questioned me about my self diagnosis, initially, before she did the procedure, but honestly I have been aware of where my ovaries are for about 70 years and what they feel like. She was very friendly and chatty while she was doing it and asked how I kept myself in such good shape.

Hi rainey - you have a lot to deal with and have had so much heat. Hope you get rid of the rats quickly. Stepping back is a good idea at times. I know you are upset about the situation with your bro - with good reason. So glad you got the shade garden planted. Sorry about the aches and pains. They do come as we get older and try to keep up the same pace.

Just talked with the pharmacist about the script for my thyroid meds, and it was the dr who halved the amount. I had asked dr how my thyroid levels were and he said they were fine so it made no sense to change the drug dose. It was the first time he had prescribed synthroid for me so hopefully it is just an error. The pharmacist said to carry on as normal and he will get back to me.

Kind of looking forward to getting my cataracts dealt with. I will be the bionic woman by the time I am finished!

Have a good evening everyone!
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Hi Everyone! Sorry I have been busy with lots going on around the house, husband took a mini vacation, it hit triple digit heat so was running around making sure Mom was staying hydrated and all my plants were OK. We have rats in our quasi basement area, never had that before! So, I have a lot to catch up on. Got the estimate today for dealing with the rats and damage to the insulation, cleaning, etc. Husband not happy with the cost, gotta get more estimates. Jeeeeeez, it's always something. 😣
We were hoping to replace the A/C next year but this will knock that out the realm of possibility. Having 90's to 110 degree heat really make you want A/C!!!
I also took a break because I got really upset at someones board question and realized I needed to step back. I should have just stuck with this one where all the best people are! I learned my lesson. No more diving into major emotionally charged issues. I get way too upset emotionally and it gets the better of me.
I am desperately trying to go down my list of "gotta do's" before winter gets here. October is my favorite month and I am hoping to enjoy it, not work my tail off and miss it. Got the shade garden planted FINALLY! Now, just need to add mulch on top and done. Lots of outside clean up still to do. This property is a lot of work trying to fix what the prior people let go for a very long time.
I am getting older, everytime I do a project that requires a lot of physical, I am in pain for days afterward.
So, sorry I had to take a break, busy and having to set myself back into the right head space again.
I will catch up on the posts so I am on track again with what has been going on with everyone.
*Hugs to all of you*
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Golden I missed what you were having the ultra sound for but glad everything went well.
I think I would just have worn a pair of Depends!
Upset you are to be greatly commended for what you have done for that family. Most people would have tut tutted and gone about their business. Good for you.

Glad so sorry to hear about Macy, she has been with you through the roughest of times. Maybe she felt her job was done
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Good everything went well for you Golden. Not fun holding all that liquid!! We are still in process of getting insurance as they want proof of residency, a utility bill from out of state address, letterhead from former insurance stating start date and ending date AND... at one time they wanted our California drivers license which had been taken by DMV here in Idaho!! Haah!! Everything but DNA ancestry!!

Air quality looks better but reports say still in the red. I see blue sky and clouds?? Bro in Montana is surrounded by fire and some with very unhealthy air quality near Glacier Nat'l Park. Irma is a horrendous storm! Hoping everyone on here who lives in the areas is safe. My great niece is staying and will probably experience catagory 2 in Gainesville.

Where is Rainey??

Back to sorting and unpacking. Good day all.
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glad - thinking of you today without macy (((((((((hugs)))))))

and (((((((hugs)))))) also to upset. it has been a difficult week for you too.

Hope everyone in the projected path of Irma has plans for their safety, and also that anyone affected by fires stays safe.

The hacking of personal info is pretty unsettling too.

The tests went fine - let's hope the results are. The only blIp was that they had me booked for a mammogram which I had done 2 months ago, instead of the bone density. We sorted it out. Can't believe the number of errors in the medical system. My last regular thyroid meds script instructions marked on the bottle are to take it every second day. I have never done that and would be on a half dose if that were the case. I am taking it as usual. Someone goofed - I am betting on the pharmacy and have to get in there and talk to them about it. If it is my new doctor I am going to be very disappointed to say the least.

Fall leaves showing here - the yellows and golds. Don't like what lies ahead.

Have a good day everyone and do something good for you.
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upset - yes, you have done all you can and much more than most. I hope you feel some closure now. Under those circumstances, I don't think I could leave an unclaimed body either. It is sad that no sibs are in sight. The whole thing is very sad.

Floating is about right. I did a test run last week and held 3 1/2 cups for 1 1/4 hours. I hope there are no delays at the appointment desk. I don't want to have to repeat this.
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Hugs Guest!! So hard and maybe it's just me, this last year has been rough.
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Glad, I'm so sorry about Macy, but at least she is no longer in pain. I know that is small consolation to you on the loss of your loving companion.

I called the funeral home this morning. The body still had not been claimed. I called her husband to ask if anyone was going to. He said he didn't have the money because they had been barely scraping by since she quit her job to take care of her mother. I went to the funeral home and arranged a very simple burial with graveside service. I know the man who owns the cemetery and he donated the plot. Called and got the minister at my church to perform the service. I placed a memorial on the town FB page and said that donations were being accepted at the funeral home. I couldn't think of anything else to do and I hated the thought of her body being unclaimed. I've done all I can for her. I called her husband and said the service would be at 10:00. I've done all I can.

Golden, Good luck with testing. I'd probably be floating in my car if I drank that much water at one time.
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upset - I meant to respond to your alcohol and chocolate comment. There have been a few times in my life when I wished that alcohol "did it" for me, but it doesn't. And in the long run, and probably short run, that is good. Now chocolate is another thing. It helps. I like the statement that "Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is."

guest - I am sorry for all the stresses you have had and still have. Granddogs are family too.

Today I have to drink 4 cups of water one hour before my ultrasound appointment. I am more concerned about my body's ability to hold the water, than I am about the results of the ultrasound. I think 3 1/2 cups will do. I just don't want to flood the table. Oh, the indignity!!! Maybe I better bring some extra clothing - just in case.😉 Then I go for a bone density test. That should be easy.The only requirement is no metal above the waist. I can do that.
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Upset, I'm so sorry to hear about the desperation that the caregiver felt. It really underlines that we as caregivers need to find the balance of care for others and ourselves. Folks who are serious about suicide often don't disclose their plans to someone who can prevent it. It also reminds me that the person that we are fighting so hard to keep out of nursing home will be there if we go down without help. Hugs to you and be careful not to be swept away with this tide given your last year....
Glad, just hugs. This year has been brutal. My son's dog has liver disease and we've staved it off for 8 months, but she quit eating again two days ago. My heart just hurts this week.
Please everybody take care of yourselves. This community has been such a support to me for over 6 years and even those who no longer post as their journey moved on may someday come back. And if they don't that's ok. Peace out.
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I'm so sorry Glad!! I know it is for the best to end her suffering but it is heartbreaking to say good bye to our loving pet family.
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(((((((glad))))))) so, so sorry. Macy has been with you through it all. Losing a pet is very hard. They are family members. You have had so many losses the past few years. She is out of pain now and with LOs. Look after you. I know you will miss her dreadfully.
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I had to put my dear friend Macy down this morning. She was not able to stand, she hasn't eaten much in two weeks, she had just lost all strength because of the bad hip. She looked like she was getting better, I was wrong. But, mom and especially L are waiting for her. How he loved that dog!
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(((((upset)))))) Sometimes the load is particularly heavy. Glad you had a good visit and a laugh with your friend but sorry that she needs to be on hospice. It is good you met with the other therapists. You need to be support to one another. I think all caregivers struggle with some things - some more, some less. Take care of you!
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Glad, I don't feel responsible, but I do feel a tremendous sadness for the loss of a life and for her children. I didn't know her well, she seemed nice, but struggling in her situation. But I see that in so many of the group. I met with the therapists who work with the other three groups. They see much the same. One group is a little different. Most of their group focuses on how caregiving impacts their teenage children. As far as siblings I'm guessing that about 55% have siblings who help.

We agreed we may be able to be more effective or make a better impact with more services in the new center.

I went to visit a friend this evening. A former co-worker who is in at home hospice care with ovarian cancer. Her daughter had called me and said her mom felt up to a visitor this evening. So many people who have so many illnesses. We did have a good laugh. Her twin daughters and my son graduated together. We used to talk about what careers our children would pursue. She wanted her daughters to go into medicine so they could take care of her when she was old. I told her my son would never be a caregiver (and I still believe that). Her daughters are both vets. She was laughing about having having two vets in attendance.

If I drank, tonight would be the night. I don't even have any chocolate in the house. I'll settle for two Tylenol for my headache.
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Upset, how sad. You should not feel any responsibility as you barely started this group, barely know the participants, no way to know what all was going on with any of them.

Being the lone caregiver is depressing, overwhelming and just plain unfair when there are siblings. It is a hopeless feeling, like a prison, as Book said.

You have done so much with this group in such a short time, it is amazing. Determination, I guess, sympathy and driven. Good for you.
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upset - you could not have known all the threads that wove together to culminate in this action by the caregiver. I am glad that the mum is on an NH. It is made even sadder that no one has come forth to claim the body.
You mentioned many problems in this community. Maybe this loss will spur more action to bring awareness/ resources to the caregivers, apart from the tremendous work you are doing. I feel so badly for her children and also for her husband.
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Barb, I agree that placement is good in some situations. It's my understanding that the mom was doing well at home. The siblings just didn't want to be bothered and they did not want to spend any of mom's money on help. But like all situations there are two sides. I'm sure no one will ever know exactly what all the details are. No one has claimed the body from the county.
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Upset, there ARE times when siblings step back because they see that the parent needs more care than any single individual can give. They see placement as a good thing and not "dumping" or "putting away". This is such a sad occurrence for all concerned.
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I am sorry that this marriage has dissolved, but I understand the feeling. It is tragic that his leaving led her to do what she did. 
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Thank you all for your kind words and understanding. I question myself as a therapist at these times that I didn't recognize how close to the edge this person was. I have found out this afternoon that her husband left her along  with their two small children over the weekend.  He was tired of her putting her mother ahead of her own family. I looked back at my notes and this hadn't been mentioned. It's sad for her mother, her children who will grow up without their mother and her husband. I knew her husband slightly. My son played baseball with him in high school. He was a nice teenager.

I think this incident makes caregiver support even more important. There are so many stressors in this community even if you're not a caregiver. Becoming a caregiver just piles stress on top of stress. More reason to get the center open and get more support in place. I wish it were possible to give siblings who don't want to help, a dose of what their sibling goes thru every day. 

I checked with Dept of Human Services. Her mother was placed in a nursing.
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Upset, this must be traumatic for you. My heart goes out to everyone who was affected by the suicide.
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Upset, I know what that caregiver felt. When you've spent years asking and asking your siblings for help. And not getting it. To the point it feels so much like begging. To hit rock bottom and realize, suddenly, that you're living in a prison. And no one, No One cares about it. As long as you're there taking care of them, Everything is Fine. And because you're drowning and you don't want to drown, you reach out to Non family members - hence the caregiving meetings. And it's not enough because you're still drowning with caregiving. That's All your life - work and caregiving. What about ME?.. And so, she reached out to you for help....

And Upset, remember this always. I went to 2 different therapists. Before each session ended, they required me to verbally tell them that if I felt like ending my life, I will reach out to family, or a friend, or them or 911. I refused to give my word because when I make a promise, I keep it. But, this, I purposely lied because they wouldn't end the session without that agreement.

I'm glad that she only took her life. When I was suicidal, I knew that bedridden mom and dad would be neglected, bedsores, etc... I knew in my heart and mind that this is true. I'm glad that this website and so many people pulled me from the edge. Otherwise, my family would have had to do a funeral for 3 people.

Those of us who are seriously suicidal, we present to the world a normal face. Inside we're drowning and death beckons us to finally, finally sleep in peace forever. Death is not scary... I'm Not Suicidal. But I've been there and it's a secret that no one knows but you. I feel sooooo sorry for her. She was reaching out for help but the drowning overwhelmed her. .. I have tears for her.
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Guestshop, my condolences on your brother's FIL. He was a good man to others, wanting to help others. I'm sure he really appreciated you listening to his stories, despite you hearing it before. I watched fave sis when dad talked to her. I can tell she tuned him out despite the 'uh huh' 'hmmm', etc... I know I've tried to be attentive but admit to failing once in a while. I believe, towards the end, he slowed down talking because he was forgetting the English words. But, I do know that he enjoyed our talks... I'm sure he enjoyed talking to you. Poor man. Brother and family will definitely see what it's like without his large income. {{Hugs}}
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Upset, truly a tragedy!! Why can't sibs step up with assistance? I am so sorry as you are doing such an incredible work for your community. I hope the elder is well taken care of and remaining sibs have much to think about!!
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Upset what a tragidy for both your client and her elderly mother. The poor old lady will be forever confused and wonder what happened. Even if she is beyond not knowing what is going on around her she will feel the loss on some level.
There was nothing else you could have done. She said nothing to indicate her plans so you could not have helped. Many times those committing suicide will keep silent about their plans. they often appear more cheerful and settled right before they actually do it. That is probably because they have made their plans and know they will soon be free.
I have been very close to several people who have taken that route. No one that I was emotionally attached to but all the same I knew them and saw the pain they caused.
Be at peace with yourself you are doing so much to help others in distress.
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(((((((upset))))) I am so, so sorry. That poor lady was pushed beyond her limits. I know this will affect you. We always wonder if there was something more we could have done. Too late for a wake-up call for the sibs. They will live with their choices. This is truly tragic and very sobering for all involved. It shows how important support for caregivers is.
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