
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
In terms of the "fads" it has to be up to you whether or not you indulge them. Some fads I indulged - my mother had few enough pleasures - others I let go by the board; but either way you don't have to argue about it, just don't do it if you feel it's ridiculous and take the complaints on the chin.
My Mom had no real dietary restrictions and food budget wasn't an issue. But she made constant demands regarding food. She had to have everything at an exact time. She had to have so many things on her plate. If she had a salad, it had to have a certain number of things in the salad. One woman reported her dad made demands for expensive foods that are totally outside of the family budget. I know that many of my Mom's issues were simply her totally self-centered personality and her desire to manipulate me.
Food issues are going to be our topic next week. Anybody have any good techniques on how to deal with food issues?
Another food centered problem some were having is their parent with food restrictions sneaking and eating foods off their diets or tantrums about a caregiver not giving them the foods they want. Any suggestions appreciated. I have a geriatric nutritionist from the hospital coming to speak on geriatric nutritional needs, but I'm finding little literature dealing with the psychological spectacle of food and the elderly. I think this is a case where frontline experience is more helpful.
Check out pintrest for ideas, I love that website! You can look up anything you can think of and create different folders with different subjects and I save all kinds of pictures of ideas for the house! Lots of fun!!!!
I also enjoy reading but have trouble concentrating through the first few chapters. I have several unread books on my kindle. Maybe this winter.
Idaho is looking for a lost weather balloon. Any nearby states, keep your eyes open, lol!!
Stacey, we had 99.2% coverage ( our area) during the eclipse. Yes, it was exciting to watch it!!
Upset: fantastic job of pulling together all those resources for free! Also, kudos to those resources for recognizing the value to the community by their donations.
That's terrific! Can I borrow you out here for a while???? LOL!!!!
There ya go! Persue those passions!
Rainey, actually we have an upper shelve in the master bedroom that is part of the wall, ( does that make sense)! I have the cameras there, along with a picture of a stagecoach with horses, a bronze statue of a cowboy on a horse(this was given to my mom when she retired from Wells Fargo), and an Indian doll. I still have room, I may check out some antique shops for more cameras!!!
When I was taking care of my Mom, if I tried to read, she would throw a tantrum like a two-year old. Now for whatever reason I can't read for enjoyment. Wish I could. I used to enjoy books so much.
She lost her Mum on August 10th, very suddenly, so I hope that was a blessing. She didn't have time to chat, but did say the services were being held tomorrow, so she is quite busy, and very emotional, as one would expect.
Prayers for Jude, during this trying time! Thanks all! Stace
That is the plan, as both hubs and I have decided that we do wish to start over, once all of this is done.
Hubby has given me free reign on purchasing new furnishings, and I'm definitely changing it up! Out with my Burgundy furniture, and old English Huge wall covering oil paintings of cottages and English country scenes, that I bought at one of those "starving Artist Sales", they are beautiful and I'll probably keep my 2 favorites for the spare bedroom, but they are super big! I'm thinking a nice blue gray couch set or sectional, or something light. My old style was Nana's English cottage, and I'm over it!
New coffee tables, bookcase, tea cart, pictures for the walls, I'm going all out, and I'll probably buy most of it on Ebay or Amazon. I've got it all figured in my head, and have been taking screen shots of items to accessorize our new place, it is exciting to think ahead on these things, like newlyweds! Lol!
Men, my hubby is a going Concern, always juggling several projects at one time, and always trying to wrangle me into something!
Today he wants me to sort and downsize all of my Christmas decorations, that I've been collecting for so long, as there is no way we could ever put out or utilize the many decorations that I have. I've offered many to my kids, and was surprised that they aren't interested, as the wish to collect "their style", and I understand this, still I will hold on to the sentimental ones they made as children, and just deliver them during the season, that way they won't be able to turn me down, Lol!
Opps, I'm being summoned, so gotta go! Laters!
That is so sad! The daughter. 😥 Also sad, a stalker had to ruin the experience of Halloween, just takes one! What is wrong with people? We have a lot of celebs around here, I would never dream of encroaching on them in anyway, I am not a "fan" type personality anyway. One day, a former employer and I were having lunch and after we were done, we were outside saying goodbye and Carlos Santana pulls up in one of my favorite BMW models. I knew who he was and simply complimented him on his car because it was absolutely gorgeous! He was very gracious and replied, "Yes, I am a very fortunate man!" That was it. My former employer has his mouth agape and say's to me after he left, "Do you know who that was!?!?!" I said, "Yeah, I've seen him before, not a big deal." Maybe I just see them as talented people instead of "celebrities." They are people just like the rest of us and have capitalized on their talents and shared them with the rest of us to enjoy. Good for them! 😊 But for goodness sake, I wish folks would just leave them alone if they are out just trying to live their lives, especially on their own properties!
I will look into Tabitha's books, thanks for the info!
Up until about 1988, the family dressed up and handed out candy. But then he acquired a stalker and someone actually went into the house. Now they have security. My son played Little League All Stars with one of their sons. Her mother lived down the street from us. I love her writing. Their home is a huge Victorian that they keep adding onto. I think there are photos of it online. Both of their sons are writers. Their daughter Naomi is Unitarian-Universalist minister. She used to write and had a big on line minister. She has had a degenerative illness for years and is rarely heard from. She's been wheelchair bound for years. It's rumored now that she is much, much worse and that is one of the reasons her mother doesn't write much.
Trim the ends once a year. DONE! 😉
Upset,
Would LOVE to see the King's house on Halloween, bet he really does a great creepy job! I bet there are millions of us horror novel aficionados who wonder the same thing. 😉 I am not surprised they are super generous folks either.
I do have quite a few Stephen King books but never read his wife's, I confess I did not know she wrote as well. Tell me some of her books and I will look for them. Another reason I love Amazon, I can afford my reading habit!! LOL!
Build some shelves around the upper portion of the wall/s and display away!
I got all my fine china on E-bay years ago, got the completer set, brand new, platter, large bowls, cream and sugar that retailed for over 200 for 30! Mom was shocked. I bought a stained glass lamp for a couple hundred and now I see lesser sized (by same maker) going for thousands now! I am an art junkie too, as well as a plant junkie! I guess I just love beauty in all forms! Mom used to call my room "The museum" because I always collected art in all forms and mediums. I went to art school for Interior Design. It just runs through my blood, that is why I love hearing about old furniture, remodeling, all that fun stuff! To me, it is just exciting. I went to a Tiffany, Lalique, Faberge exhibit in SF. WOW! I just about lost my mind in all the beauty and intricate detail. I went twice!
Oh he knew what he was doing. He was 12, I was 7. He made me drink alcohol to try to dull my mind and then he tried telling me he had me under hypnosis so "it wasn't really happening." Does that sound like innocent childhood curiousity? Sounds premeditated to me! Also, this was not just a couple times that it happened. He was also physically abusive and I spent much of my childhood very afraid of him. That is how I was kept silent. I did tell Mom and she did not want to believe it. So after that disaster, I stayed quiet until I was about 21. Then I brought it up in the heat of anger and it blew up in my face again. Mom turned her back on me again. Another total disaster!
I cannot do anything about it now because there is a statute of limitations on reporting this, I am way, way past that. He is now married, has a little girl and thankfully lives with his wife's parents in the home as well. I have made his wife aware of what he did to me but all she had to say was, "Can't you just forgive him?" When I said "No" because he isn't truly sorry, she has never spoken another word to me. Not that I care about that, but in the very beginning of their marriage, she called me in tears several times and asked me to meet her so she could cry to me about how verbally abusive he was to her, my answer was always the same, "Annul the marriage and get away." She chose to stay so not my problem if she has to put up with him now.
The reason I ask is that, if he was old enough to know what he was doing, and you have reliable evidence of it, you should take it to the police anyway. Otherwise you're knowingly leaving at large a person who could pose a risk to others and choosing instead to use this information as leverage over him.