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CM, It's a fact that some medical people get over the top with their rules. My Mom ate chocolate ALL the time. She wasn't a diabetic and she didn't have a huge weight problem so I let it slide.  Her issues were more control based. Maybe it's less an elder problem and more a caregiver problem. I do know that about 75% of the caregivers have issues with food and the people for whom they're caring. I know from my own perspective I didn't want to be the food police. My biggest thing was I got sick of all of the food rules large and small. I have one lady who hasn't slept past 6:00 am because her Dad has to have his coffee at 6:00am and will not wait for any reason and cannot fix himself.
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Upset, as a rule of thumb I have to say that when it comes to choosing what they eat I am almost totally on the side of the elders. For all sorts of reasons; but taking one at random, the imposition of strict reduced salt and sugar intake on someone who's got to her mid-eighties on, say, a balanced diet of Coke floats on the one hand and French fries on the other. If you've developed Type 2 diabetes then if you don't lay off the sugar ultimately you'll go blind and your feet will rot away and you had better take that message seriously; that's a different matter. But if you haven't, then what are your medical, nursing and care professionals trying to achieve for you? I have observed a tendency in care settings to treat elders' bodies as temples whether they like it or not.

In terms of the "fads" it has to be up to you whether or not you indulge them. Some fads I indulged - my mother had few enough pleasures - others I let go by the board; but either way you don't have to argue about it, just don't do it if you feel it's ridiculous and take the complaints on the chin.
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This is a question that has come up in caregivers group - all 4 sessions. It was also a huge problem with my Mom. Complaints and demands about food. 

My Mom had no real dietary restrictions and food budget wasn't an issue. But she made constant demands regarding food. She had to have everything at an exact time. She had to have so many things on her plate. If she had a salad, it had to have a certain number of things in the salad. One woman reported her dad made demands for expensive foods that are totally outside of the family budget. I know that many of my Mom's issues were simply her totally self-centered personality and her desire to manipulate me. 

Food issues are going to be our topic next week. Anybody have any good techniques on how to deal with food issues? 

Another food centered problem some were having is their parent with food restrictions sneaking and eating foods off their diets or tantrums about a caregiver not giving them the foods they want. Any suggestions appreciated. I have a geriatric nutritionist from the hospital coming to speak on geriatric nutritional needs, but I'm finding little literature dealing with the psychological spectacle of food and the elderly. I think this is a case where frontline experience is more helpful.
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Stacey,
Check out pintrest for ideas, I love that website! You can look up anything you can think of and create different folders with different subjects and I save all kinds of pictures of ideas for the house! Lots of fun!!!!
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We had. Little thunder,lightening, hail storm come through tonight. Other people in town had trees blown over, tables broken!
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Support for seniors and caregivers is generally very good in Maine and Mainers  are generous people. The biggest asset I have is the University of Maine. Every campus organization has to make a commitment to community/public service. Every student has to participate in Maine Day in the spring. It is a day without classes but everyone has to participate in a campus or community service project. That same community spirit is encouraged in the public schools and organizations. And seniors are a favorite group for organizations to help. I'm simply trying educate people about how important caregiver support is to the health and well being of seniors. State government is supportive even though the state is very poor.
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Upset, when you get this all together, you need to educate an Upset in a neighboring town to start this for their town. Rock Steady is a nationwide exercise program for people living with Parkinson's - all it took to start it was one man with PD who spread the word on an exercise program designed just for people with PD. I look forward to your reports of continued progress.
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Upset, I find it amazing how you are pulling all this together as well as getting the community to volunteer And donate so generously of their time, talent and treasure. Your skills at putting this in motion is so awesome!!
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Nature, yes, if it continues to be a problem, we will get security cameras.

I also enjoy reading but have trouble concentrating through the first few chapters. I have several unread books on my kindle. Maybe this winter.

Idaho is looking for a lost weather balloon. Any nearby states, keep your eyes open, lol!!

Stacey, we had 99.2% coverage ( our area) during the eclipse. Yes, it was exciting to watch it!!
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Sharon, what about security cameras to catch them in the act? You may already have thought of this.

Upset: fantastic job of pulling together all those resources for free! Also, kudos to those resources for recognizing the value to the community by their donations.
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Upset,
That's terrific! Can I borrow you out here for a while???? LOL!!!!
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Sharyn,
There ya go! Persue those passions!
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Great job Upset! Isn't it great that people can be so generous!!

Rainey, actually we have an upper shelve in the master bedroom that is part of the wall, ( does that make sense)! I have the cameras there, along with a picture of a stagecoach with horses, a bronze statue of a cowboy on a horse(this was given to my mom when she retired from Wells Fargo), and an Indian doll. I still have room, I may check out some antique shops for more cameras!!!
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Big news! A local businessman gave me $25,000 for the center. He said his wife could have used a center for support when she took care of her elderly parents. Local pizza place has donated pizza for all of the college students helping us clean on Saturday. Local scouts are having a can and bottle drive on Saturday in front of the local grocery. So things are moving along.

When I was taking care of my Mom, if I tried to read, she would throw a tantrum like a two-year old. Now for whatever reason I can't read for enjoyment. Wish I could. I used to enjoy books so much.
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when I was in my 30s I managed a video store (remember those?) in a rural area. One day an older lady came in to return a movie,, and I am an avid reader of mysteries. As I was checking her out I caught the name,, and I knew she lived in the area. Of course I was totally lucid and cool.. and said "Your her!! Your her!! OMG!! Then as I was stuttering and gaping... she started laughing and said " yes I am" I saved that dang receipt for years!!
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Hi all, I've just had a quick message from our friend Jude.

 She lost her Mum on August 10th, very suddenly, so I hope that was a blessing. She didn't have time to chat, but did say the services were being held tomorrow,  so she is quite busy, and very emotional,  as one would expect.  

Prayers for Jude, during this trying time! Thanks all! Stace
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OMG YA'LL, I love books too, but for some reason, I haven't been able to get into reading for quite some time, I just don't have the concentration for it. Still, I intend to hold onto my 3 great big plastic tubs of books, to fill the bookshelf I intend to buy on EBay, Lol, (I've got my eye on one), when all of this is over, and we set up a new home/Condo somewhere else. I would Love to have a reading nook! 

That is the plan, as both hubs and I have decided that we do wish to start over, once all of this is done.

Hubby has given me free reign on purchasing new furnishings, and I'm definitely changing it up! Out with my Burgundy furniture, and old English Huge wall covering oil paintings of cottages and English country scenes, that I bought at one of those "starving Artist Sales", they are beautiful and I'll probably keep my 2 favorites for the spare bedroom, but they are super big! I'm thinking a nice blue gray couch set or sectional, or something light. My old style was Nana's English cottage,  and I'm over it! 

New coffee tables, bookcase, tea cart, pictures for the walls, I'm going all out, and I'll probably buy most of it on Ebay or Amazon. I've got it all figured in my head, and have been taking screen shots of items to accessorize our new place, it is exciting to think ahead on these things, like newlyweds! Lol!

Men, my hubby is a going Concern, always juggling several projects at one time, and always trying to wrangle me into something!

Today he wants me to sort and downsize all of my Christmas decorations, that I've been collecting for so long, as there is no way we could ever put out or utilize the many decorations that I have. I've offered many to my kids, and was surprised that they aren't interested, as the wish to collect "their style", and I understand this, still I will hold on to the sentimental ones they made as children, and just deliver them during the season, that way they won't be able to turn me down, Lol!

Opps, I'm being summoned, so gotta go! Laters!
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Upset,
That is so sad! The daughter. 😥 Also sad, a stalker had to ruin the experience of Halloween, just takes one! What is wrong with people? We have a lot of celebs around here, I would never dream of encroaching on them in anyway, I am not a "fan" type personality anyway. One day, a former employer and I were having lunch and after we were done, we were outside saying goodbye and Carlos Santana pulls up in one of my favorite BMW models. I knew who he was and simply complimented him on his car because it was absolutely gorgeous! He was very gracious and replied, "Yes, I am a very fortunate man!" That was it. My former employer has his mouth agape and say's to me after he left, "Do you know who that was!?!?!" I said, "Yeah, I've seen him before, not a big deal." Maybe I just see them as talented people instead of "celebrities." They are people just like the rest of us and have capitalized on their talents and shared them with the rest of us to enjoy. Good for them! 😊 But for goodness sake, I wish folks would just leave them alone if they are out just trying to live their lives, especially on their own properties!
I will look into Tabitha's books, thanks for the info!
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Rainey, She has a series based in a fictional town Nodd's Ridge. The Trap, Pearl, Book of Reuben, One on One. Can't remember all the names.

Up until about 1988, the family dressed up and handed out candy. But then he acquired a stalker and someone actually went into the house. Now they have security. My son played Little League All Stars with one of their sons. Her mother lived down the street from us. I love her writing. Their home is a huge Victorian that they keep adding onto. I think there are photos of it online. Both of their sons are writers. Their daughter Naomi is Unitarian-Universalist minister. She used to write and had a big on line minister. She has had a degenerative illness for years and is rarely heard from. She's been wheelchair bound for years. It's rumored now that she is much, much worse and that is one of the reasons her mother doesn't write much.
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Just finished giving Mom a pedicure, (trimming her nails and filing) then compression wrapped her up. Then it's beauty day for her so taking her to hair salon soon. That woman spends over 200 a month on her hair! I don't spend that in a year! But, it means a lot to her to look like she did in her 40's so whatever, it's her money. That is because she still colors it and does the whole roller set and sits under the dryer for hours until that thick mane is dry, then they style it all for her. Roughly a 3 hour process every week. Me, I have long hair, all the same length, turning greyish white, mixed with blonde and it is naturally wavy so I wash, comb, part, put on some anti frizz mousse, and let it naturally dry.
Trim the ends once a year. DONE! 😉
Upset,
Would LOVE to see the King's house on Halloween, bet he really does a great creepy job! I bet there are millions of us horror novel aficionados who wonder the same thing. 😉 I am not surprised they are super generous folks either.
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Upset,
I do have quite a few Stephen King books but never read his wife's, I confess I did not know she wrote as well. Tell me some of her books and I will look for them. Another reason I love Amazon, I can afford my reading habit!! LOL!
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Sharyn,
Build some shelves around the upper portion of the wall/s and display away!
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All of you with collections. Such a treasure when you can surround yourself with things you love. My interests are vintage cameras. I have a few but limited space to have as many as I would like, lol!!
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Rainey, I collect old 40's novels. Just like them. Also collect old Steve King and his wife Tabitha King's novels. She no longer writes. But I love her books. They live in town and are really nice people - generous beyond belief.
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I am a huge book lover too, I have a very full large bookcase, not so much filled with collector books but I am an avid reader. I read every night before turning in. I love books and always dreamed someday of having my own library room with a nice comfy chaise and a fireplace. Dream, dream dream!!!!
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Alright Upset!
I got all my fine china on E-bay years ago, got the completer set, brand new, platter, large bowls, cream and sugar that retailed for over 200 for 30! Mom was shocked. I bought a stained glass lamp for a couple hundred and now I see lesser sized (by same maker) going for thousands now! I am an art junkie too, as well as a plant junkie! I guess I just love beauty in all forms! Mom used to call my room "The museum" because I always collected art in all forms and mediums. I went to art school for Interior Design. It just runs through my blood, that is why I love hearing about old furniture, remodeling, all that fun stuff! To me, it is just exciting. I went to a Tiffany, Lalique, Faberge exhibit in SF. WOW! I just about lost my mind in all the beauty and intricate detail. I went twice!
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Rainey, I love EBay. I collect Johnson Brothers Blue Willow and The Friendly Village. I check once or twice a week to see if there are any new auctions. I have 18 place settings of my wedding china and 18 of crystal and sterling as well. I used to keep them in the China cabinet only use for special occasions. One day I started using them for no reason and now use most of the year or I use the Blue Willow. Next I'll put up China and crystal and start using the Friendly Village - it's very New England in the fall. After Thanksgiving, I'll put out my Christmas china and crystal. I love dishes, crystal and silver. I also buy a lot of old out of date books on eBay. I started in 1999.
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CM,
Oh he knew what he was doing. He was 12, I was 7. He made me drink alcohol to try to dull my mind and then he tried telling me he had me under hypnosis so "it wasn't really happening." Does that sound like innocent childhood curiousity? Sounds premeditated to me! Also, this was not just a couple times that it happened. He was also physically abusive and I spent much of my childhood very afraid of him. That is how I was kept silent. I did tell Mom and she did not want to believe it. So after that disaster, I stayed quiet until I was about 21. Then I brought it up in the heat of anger and it blew up in my face again. Mom turned her back on me again. Another total disaster!
I cannot do anything about it now because there is a statute of limitations on reporting this, I am way, way past that. He is now married, has a little girl and thankfully lives with his wife's parents in the home as well. I have made his wife aware of what he did to me but all she had to say was, "Can't you just forgive him?" When I said "No" because he isn't truly sorry, she has never spoken another word to me. Not that I care about that, but in the very beginning of their marriage, she called me in tears several times and asked me to meet her so she could cry to me about how verbally abusive he was to her, my answer was always the same, "Annul the marriage and get away." She chose to stay so not my problem if she has to put up with him now.
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Golden, lucky bamboo is easy. Just put it in a pot, fill with decorative rocks, then add water. Bright window with no direct sun and bamboo will be happy.
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Rainey, when these childhood incidents took place was your brother also a young child, or was he older?

The reason I ask is that, if he was old enough to know what he was doing, and you have reliable evidence of it, you should take it to the police anyway. Otherwise you're knowingly leaving at large a person who could pose a risk to others and choosing instead to use this information as leverage over him.
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