Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
🥰 wise words…

“If you didn’t come from a healthy family, make sure a healthy family comes from you.”
(11)
Report

Greetings everyone!
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers on-board.
Amazing after 41 years I still have tears in my heart for my father.
I am coping well these past few days.
Even though there are some issues.
I hope you all are well in good spirits.

Golden I pray all is well. I pray all is well with your family.

I always hold on to something one of my heroes here advised me to remember. "Still I rise." Mya Angelo. Deep powerful meaning.

No matter how bad and painful and constant the pain or trial is. The Father is always near and here with us working on it in ways we ne er know.
I always see down the line somewhere that He was there and working all along through this forum, through the angels on board, through the posts we share. Through the laughs and smiles I get from posts. Through the beauty of nature and everything.

When I'm out I try to put out positive energy when it's returned I feel so much stronger. Most times it is.
Rays of love healing and peace to us all.
(10)
Report

Duck,

Sending rays of love and light back to you. Glad you sorted out your boil issue.
(2)
Report

I meant to say "Rays of love peace and eating to us all"
I am just now signing in to the forum and saw rats in my last post!
I pray you are all well in spirit and health.
I had urinary tract infection at the end of the week my surgery was postponed. Hadn't had this issue since I was a teenager.
I aways remember the first time working in ER that I learned how devastating a UTI can be for elderly after ruling out possibilities for why this person was presenting a possible stroke it turned out to be a UTI.
Then I got the boil issue and after trying to curr myself via herbs and supplements I ended up at doctor and had it drained and a script for antibiotics.
I am fine now Praise God.
So much love and gratefulness to you All in this forum.
Rays of love light healing and peace to us all.
(8)
Report

faithfulbeauty,

Wishing you peace as you struggle through this difficult time.

Do you have NAMI in your area? It’s a program that will adjust pricing of therapy visits according to your income.
(3)
Report

duck :),

“Rats of love healing and peace to us all.”

i’m sure you meant “lots”.
but your sentence really made me laugh, and i needed that :).
(7)
Report

Hello.. I'm struggling today. Long story short, I suffer from childhood emotional trauma. It has taken a long time to even admit this because somehow I felt like it was wrong to admit that I suffered from emotional abuse my entire childhood and even continued into adulthood. Now, I'm the primary care giver of the person who mistreated me. I can not afford therapy right now so that makes it super hard to cope. It is severe. For example, I often fear leaving home because in the past he has taken things from my home without asking and given them away so I have often found myself hiding things. But now, I have a new door and I have the only key. My negative childhood has caused me so much pain and I hate it. I want to enjoy life but can't because I feel guilty when I do. I was raised to think it was wrong to have fun and want nicer things. I allowed him to make decisions for me that I should not have because I was afraid of him. Now, I'm having to live with the consequences of those decisions and there is not much I can do. I often find it hard to concentrate because I have flashbacks. I'm 54 and I'm afraid I'm running out of time to have the life I want and deserve.
(11)
Report

Duck,

That is certainly fabulous news! I’m very happy for you. Therapy is an investment that is definitely worthwhile.

You’ve made a wise choice. I was able to discover important things about myself and others when I went to therapy.

Wishing you the very best as you embrace taking care of your physical and emotional needs. Everyone deserves healing from past experiences and wounds.
(4)
Report

Greetings everyone..
Good news I qualify for insurance July 1.

Now I can get mental health care and care I need so badly.

Golden, Barb (((Huggs)))
I loved the post about the lizard living in the garage

Loved the cloud nice humor.
Also the post on narcissism and caring for self, dealing with this #@$% and getting older.
Onice upon a time I was not so easily moved to tears.

So I didn't really want to go back to the orthopedic doctor after post phoning my surgery. I believe it was because of my lack of insurance or rather the type and there were a lot of people there for surgery and he chose best paying client.
So now a new road in my journey.
Rats of love healing and peace to us all.
(6)
Report

boj - treasure yourself - absolutely. The abuse cycle doesn't end until they die or you change. They won't change and they will keep on abusing you.

I totally agree, it does affect you and you can't ignore it. This is why I have gone n/c with my sister and also why I did caregiving for my mother from a distance and saw her infrequently.

As you get older, the stress takes a bigger toll on your body and your mind.

The solution, IMO, is not to allow the cycle to continue b/c, as you say, you get depressed, you work on building yourself up and then you get slammed again before you have healed - and so it goes. There s no chance of healing when there is continued close contact.

I had to look at what was most important.

Was my health and peace of mind less important than whatever crisis mother was having at the time?

Unequivocally no!

Was me doing whatever she wanted going to make her happy, content, less critical, less abusive?

Unequivocally no!

Was I the only one who could change this situation?

Unequivocally yes!
(6)
Report

❤️🙂 i posted this last year. but i want to re-post it. regarding narcs/toxic people:

...you can try grey rock, you can try every technique in the book...
...you can try to show no pain, they'll do it anyway. they know, it hurts.
...and even if you show no pain, your body also knows it hurts. you'll see the stress on your body.
...it's impossible it doesn't affect you.
...IMPOSSIBLE to ignore, because your body is "listening" to the abuse too, it's not just your mind/ears listening.

so, 1st step:

realize the reality:
abuse DOES affect you.
your body WILL BE affected.

next step:

solutions.
like many people, what happens is this:

you help = you saved the situation again, great = the toxic family member continues to abuse you = you need to recover from the abuse = you're depressed = you start to recover = another crisis = you help = you save the situation again, great = the toxic family member...

you see?

ah, there is 1 more IMPORTANT THING, in this cycle.
we get older.

and for us women (many of us are women), it's even more vital:
don't lose time. treasure yourself. you're precious. ❤️🙂
(6)
Report

😉

a narc's attitude:
"I got 99 problems and you are all of them."
(2)
Report

My cloud says:
Tekvah, I hope your day’s OK. Today I feel AAAaaarGGH!
(1)
Report

Cat,

How sweet that your father donated to Make-A-Wish foundation. Yeah, points were easy to rack up then.
(3)
Report

NH, my parents, mostly dad would visit his family in Hungary in the 80's He had enough Delta sky miles to donate them to the Make-A-Wish foundation.
(3)
Report

ITRR, thats sounds scary! Bet the neighbors heard you scream a mile away. Funny story, my sister took her then 3 yr old daughter to the beach&she was eating a sandwich. A balsy seagull swooped down & snatched the sandwich from her. My neice is 40 now and petrified of seagulls. Hahaha
(4)
Report

My cloud feels exactly like you, Tekvah. Whereas me, I’m surprisingly in high spirits today. Must be the nice lunch I had. Or my denial of the situation.
(1)
Report

One word...AAAaaarGGH!
(4)
Report

I know I have this cloud hanging above my head, but it never occurred to me until right now, to take a look at what shape it looks like. Turns out it looks like a hamburger with French fries.
(4)
Report

I don't really have anything interesting or intelligent to say. I just want to talk about my cloud :).

Today, my cloud and I had breakfast together. Then we watched the news together. And later today, we'll go hiking together. It's a good Sunday. I wish you all a good Sunday!
(4)
Report

Cat,

Years ago my husband occasionally traveled to Venezuela. Oh gosh, back then (80’s) airline perks were fabulous! His job required him to travel about 80 percent of the time. We were young, both working full time, no kids yet, so it was fine.

He would stay in Venezuela for a month or more before returning home. He enjoyed lounging by the pool in his hotel on the weekends. He was quite startled to see that large iguanas also liked hanging out by the pool!

He said that the constant travel grew old but it was part of his job at the time.

The silver lining was that the airline perks were so good that we had many almost free vacations due to his numerous international flights throughout the years.

Cars, hotels, etc. were often included in the perks! With those savings we were able to dine anywhere we wanted since that was our only expense.

He had so many points that we often flew first class! Those super competitive days between airlines have long been over. They were fun while they lasted though.
(5)
Report

Cat, the scariest experience I have ever had with reptiles is when I found out snakes like to swim. Yep, a 6' red racer in my pool. I thought it fell in and got the net to save it. Ha! That slimy sucker was across and outta that pool before the net hit the ground, because I dropped it and ran screaming like a scared baby when it took off.

I was grateful it wasn't rattle snake, my neighbor had one that enjoyed hanging out in her skimmer basket. I still stomp on the lid and listen before I open it, I do not like those kind of surprises. :-)
(8)
Report

ITRR, I'm in a gated community near 2 busy roads. No woods nearby but on a small man made lake. It's looking more like a zoo. Big colorful Iguanas, tons of bunnies(that's a given), squirrels, snakes, turtles, ducks, those big white birds with long necks and plenty of lizards. A few months ago I opened the garage door & in came a black racer. Fun trying to get the booger out! The next time I opened garage a big Iguana ran in. Sheesh had to chase that out too. BTW I'm also terrified of chickens and other large birds. Lol!
(6)
Report

I’m not a fan of alligators, ugly bugs, bad weather (especially when it’s a metaphor), hardship, extreme suffering, adrenaline junkies, daredevils, irresponsibility, slithery things and I really dislike vanilla ice cream.

OK, I’m glad I got that all off my chest.

As for anyone facing dysfunctional people, keep your head up, and try to stay away from them. They have a mean streak, and will try to take you down.

Now it’s time for my cloud (I have a cloud that follows me around) and I to take a look what’s in the fridge. Time for breakfast! :)
(2)
Report

Cat, I live where lizards are numerous and I have to say they are the best bug control ever!

They avoid humans if at all possible and keep the detrimental bugs in check, I had one that lived in my garage for years and never even had one cobweb or evidence of any bugs, which is amazing, considering I live in the middle of the desert.
(2)
Report

I don't care for lizards let alone alligators lol
(2)
Report

Yeah, a cute, little alligator is not my idea of fun either.
(1)
Report

Climbing a mountain, swimming with sharks or wrestling an alligator isn't something I would try but it's a personal choice.
(2)
Report

Recently, I read several articles about dangerous mountain climbers and their deaths. (I'm not a mountain climber, and I find dangerous climbing irresponsible and a total disregard for the preciousness of life). I tried to see why someone would do it.

Apparently, they're called adrenaline junkies. They crave the adrenaline rush. It's similar to being addicted to drugs.

The point I want to make, is that I think dysfunctional people are similar. (I personally, luckily, don't have such people in my life). How ever you want to call them (dysfunctional...nasty...mean...toxic...abusive...narcisisstic...), these toxic people get a rush (an adrenaline rush) from creating drama, from arguing, from creating conflict, from putting you down, from terrorizing you, from abusing you, from making you worry, from stressing you out.

It's similar. It's an adrenaline rush, which makes them feel alive. They crave that adrenaline rush, and therefore keep doing it again and again.
(1)
Report

Thank you NoTryDoYoda for starting this thread.
From the NAMI.org website:
["Each illness has its own symptoms, but common signs of mental illness in adults and adolescents can include the following:
Excessive worrying or fear
Feeling excessively sad or low
Confused thinking or problems concentrating and learning
Extreme mood changes, including uncontrollable “highs” or feelings of euphoria
Prolonged or strong feelings of irritability or anger
Avoiding friends and social activities
Difficulties understanding or relating to other people
Changes in sleeping habits or feeling tired and low energy
Changes in eating habits such as increased hunger or lack of appetite
Changes in sex drive
Difficulty perceiving reality (delusions or hallucinations, in which a person experiences and senses things that don't exist in objective reality)
Inability to perceive changes in one’s own feelings, behavior or personality (”lack of insight” or anosognosia)
Overuse of substances like alcohol or drugs
Multiple physical ailments without obvious causes (such as headaches, stomach aches, vague and ongoing “aches and pains”)
Thinking about suicide
Inability to carry out daily activities or handle daily problems and stress
An intense fear of weight gain or concern with appearance"]

The support over the years on this thread has been helpful to so many.
(2)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter