The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Smol welcome! I just read your tale. Firstly, (((Hugs))). Secondly, *this too shall pass*. Repeat that to yourself as many times as you need during the day. Thirdly, always remember the plan can change.

Was your plan to fly there & be there for the duration? Or stay for a reasonable length of time? Or until your help is replaced by another family member or paid aide?

I'm 54 years old and recently travelled across the country to help with the caregiving of my 85 year-old father who is terminally ill and in home hospice care. I've read in all the end of life literature about anger outbursts and other abusive behaviors that are part of the progression of the disease but it's so hard for me to accept that completely because the behavior I'm seeing and experiencing is what I've always known from him. He could be the sweetest man one minute and turn on a dime. It's the same now and magnified 100%. The names he's called me and the derogatory comments take me back to my childhood and I find myself fighting against those old feelings of worthlessness, fear, anger, etc. I feel myself being dragged back into that dysfunctional family dynamic. My mother and brother are in the picture but they are often more difficult for me to be around because of their codependent behaviors. I don't want to go into all the details. I'm struggling with my own emotions right now. I find myself feeling angry and dismayed at my father, mother and brother and then the next minute, I feel bad about feeling that way. I speak on the phone with my husband and kids every day and I come away feeling like a healthy adult again but I still struggle the longer I am here. Thank you so much for creating this forum and thank you so much for allowing me to vent. It means the world to me.

DDuck, there has been no siting of the badger since July 3rd, I’m thinking it left the subdivision.

I left for California on Thursday arriving at my sisters around 2:30 pm. We had a great time, stayed up until 2:30 am the first night and 3:30 am the second night, just laughing and talking. On Friday we went to the Sierras where we camped every summer growing up. There was a bad fire up there 2 years ago that burned down one of the lodges and several cabins plus a store. They have rebuilt yet but have a portable building fore the store and one for a bar. We went up to Kennedy Meadows where I bought 2 shirts for the boys. We got back to my sisters house around 6 pm. Saturday my sis in love had a family bbq with about 20 people all family. My brother is a bit on the frail side from his most recent hospitalization. He is very alert, following the conversations around him, answering questions. It was great to see everyone again and catch up with each other. I left Sunday morning to come home, heavy smoke on Donner Summit from the complex fire.

Im still not fully recovered from all the driving and late nights. Each day I feel better so hoping tomorrow I will be back to normal. I came home with 3 plants, an orchid my sister bought for me, a Chinese evergreen and serenity lily sis had taken clippings from plants in her work office and rooted at home. These 2 plants from clippings are poisonous to cats so I have them in a bedroom that gets morning light. My two kitties do try to nibble on plants. My other plants are non toxic for them if they should eat any of the leaves.

Golden, I’m sorry to hear about your sweet pumpkin. I think it is harder losing a fur baby this way as opposed to having them put down as we don’t truly know what happened to them.

take of yourself everyone and God BlessXx.

DDDuck,

All those things happening like with your toothbrush and the showerhead could be your mother's doing. Dementia behaviors are strange and bizarre. Or from what you've said about your sister, she does not sound like a person who would be above taking such petty actions either.
As for your sister, well someone needs to make her understand that if there's too much trouble caused with the aides, the company they will work for will make your mother pay the price because they will drop her from their service. If your mom is being physically abusive to the aide because she thinks she spoke shortly, well that would be something you'd have to take up with your mother. As for aides and "ruffled feathers" as you put it, let me tell you something. Us caregivers don't have our feathers ruffled very easily because we know what we're dealing with when it comes to elderly clients.
When the agency tells you an aide did not have any complaints, always assume that they're lying. I was an in-home caregiver for almost 25 years. Many of those years were with agency employment and I can say for a fact that the "office" staff of a homecare agency will blatantly lie about such things as aides making complaints. They don't concern themselves with the environments they send their caregivers into. Their only concern is making sure they put a worker in a house and collect the money. Talk to your mother's caregivers yourself, in person and find out what's really going on.
As for your sister and her exerting her authority over your mother's caregivers about it being "her house". She needs to understand that it's never a good idea to piss off the aides too much because mom depends on them for her care. If they go and the agency stops sending more, everyone will be up sh*t's creek without a paddle because then the caregiving falls to you and your sister.
I have walked off more than one job myself over the years because of bad behavior from client families.
I had an elderly client with a daughter who was very much like your sister. She did absolutely nothing for her elderly mother even though she lived in her house and didn't work. She'd start up with her demands and disrespectful behavior which I normally just ignored. I did everything for her mother and even ran personal errands for her to help out because she didn't drive.
One morning I was late coming in because of bad weather. She flipped out about her mom being left in a soiled diaper and all. She went too far. I told her she can clean her mother up and I walked away leaving the mother exactly as I found her.
The daughter caught up with me at my car, apologized and begged me to come back. So I told her my pay just went up ten percent a week permanently or I don't come back. There was another arrangement as well. That if she had an issue with something that she was to inform me in writing and that I would take it into consideration.
No one would work for these people and I knew it. Your sister needs to tread lightly with the aides or everyone could find themselves out of luck.

Mycaksenthings, your brother seems to have same spirit as my sister. My sister doesnt care about my mother she just wants what she has. It's hard to believe and accept. It's so sad.
This evil spirit of my sister causes so much distress and duress. It interferes with the peaceful cohesive energy that is now in the house. It will never end. And she has poisoned my nephews and who ever she can mesmerize.
It's so sad we have to live with hatred and ugliness. This is why I keep God in my life and my heart. I a lot of skeletons but I have never intentionally done anything to hurt because of my faith.
Be strong out there and stay in prayer it works.

HI all. Just checking in. I am not caught up. I was using computer on job. So hard to post on phone. Eventually I will dust of my lap too and start posting regularly. I hope you all are well. I miss you all. I work two 16hour shifts Sunday and Monday and when I'm off I run errands and by the time I get back up stairs I'm not in mindset for finger typing. The drama co continues. Things happened this week which caused turmoil. My mothers meds were 3weeks ahead of refill I was checking her pressure regularly and it was actually a little high for her norm at times. I told the new aide and old one. The older aide was upset and day when I came down saying that the agency informed her that one of the daughters complained that the aides were over dosing my mother. She was so stressed and when I learned this it bought me to tears. This woman was afraid for her job. My sister was not Involved with the meds since she exposed her self for not giving meds for over a month because she could not refill and did not inform the guardianship or t as keep her herself. So now this over medication is her redemption and a subtle cue of an insufficiency on my part for monitoring. I was going to ask for higher dosage and I was also thinking possibilities of shortage of pills sometimes I am short. Anyways this had a negative affect on the Aides and the spirit of her care. The older aide believed it was me. Then seeing my reaction knew better. When I called this morning I learned the call came in from the guardianship by way of complaint from my sister. She let aide believe it was me. Then after I'm explaining how this caused untowards and I communicated this the aide says my sister was telling other aide who left that this was her house overand over. The aide supposedly left because my mother beat her up for short wording but when I spoke to supervisors they both said non of the aide had complaints. Eva the older aide told me she leftcausenmy mother ruffled her up. Any BBC way we could have lostbonebofbthe best things my mother has had since she has gotten dementia. I was upset because I have waited this long for intervention and my sister is undermining it while smiling. Not bbn to mention th as t first dsybaide says she needs to help out with meds I come down and shower head is turned to wet me. Then the next day my tooth brush which has been under sink was filled with brown stuff. Last week I threw up badly I now wonder if it was her action. Well I keep tooth paste and brush with me now. So that is it. I didnt think I would finger tap this far. I just took the second part of vaccine today. Had negative energy that day also where agency called and said I quit. It was a welcome outcome except for the long straight hours. Travel is well. My psyche is so dysfunctional that I am still adjusting this third week and I am using this as excuse for not reaching goals in my room. A viscous cycle. Seems my goal is to make it through this 4p to 8am. Then my next focus is to cook a few things I can save for lunch laundry and grocery.
I really miss you all. Sharyn I hope they caught that badger.
Im not caught up. My heart and love to you all.

I am in a very dysfunctional family. I am currently caring for my 75 year old father. He is an alcoholic and smokes so finding help has been very difficult. 2 years ago, my father lost his wife and he has lost his will to do anything. He sits in his chair, refuses to leave the house. My brother spent the last 17 years avoiding my father and step mother. Pure hate and anger have been displayed that entire time.

The second my step mother died, my brother showed up and said that he wanted to help me with my father and other things. My father inherited a lot of money from my grandparents estate on my step mother's side. I was happy to have the support from my brother because we have always tried to keep a close relationship. The week of the funeral, he constantly asked me what needs to be done. Because both my parents were alcoholics, the house was a complete disaster. I was so frustrated because you could clearly see what needed to be done. By the end of the week, the horrible words and vile comments from my brother to my Dad, my husband and I had to make him leave.

My brother's only concern was about my father's money. Little did he know that it had already been set up in a trust and all decisions were made about the will. He became very angry at me about that and I told him that if he wanted to know, he had to talk to my father.

My father's best friend, a younger man who loves to help, moved in with my father a few months after my mother had died. He has helped me in caring for my father because my home is 2 states away. He shops for my father, drives him to appointments when I am unable to take him. He has been a great support. Unfortunately, my brother has visited several time and has been trying to get him to plant cameras around the house. Telling him that he thinks my father is loosing his mind and needs to be spied on. When he refused my brother, my brother became angry. Upon hearing angry words, my father got out of bed and asked what happened, his roommate told him and my brother called him a liar. Long story short, there is now terrible stress upon my father and myself.

I now spend most of my time here. My father is so depressed and has been drinking more. He is sad about my brother but feels that all my brother cares about is his money. He gets up and sits in his chair, only eats when I force him to eat then goes to bed. He only watches news on tv, and we have tried and tried to interest him in other things. His will to live his life is gone. He has not directly said he wants to die but he does not want to do anything to live.

What a mess I am in. For the last 2 years my brother only speaks to me with, what he feels are, emergency complaints - most of which are about my dad's friend taking advantage of him and that my father is loosing his mind. Because I spend so much time with my father I know that over the last 2 years these things are not true. 49 years of love and support with my brother are now gone. He has not spoken a word, outside of messages about my father, to me since the funeral. I have tried many times to reach out to him but he refuses. My daughter was very close to him and he has told her how horrible I am and that I am a complete liar. She has had to stop talking to him now. My heart is so very sad. I had hoped that my father and brother would heal their relationship and now it has ripped our entire family apart. My brother has even rejected our birth mom, who lives with me and my husband. So very, very sad.

I am caring for my sister who lives in Florida who has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's Diseases. I am POA for two and a half years for my sister, and I live in New York. My sister has four sons, two of whom live in New York, and one live in Texas, and they have not contacted me to find out how their mother was doing. I've hired the best support care her lack of sufficient money provides even though she is fully covered for home care by her insurance. I hired a very nice lady who lives two houses away from her and took care of her part time for three and a half years, and did me the favor of taking care of her full time with whatever money was left after bill payments.

My problem is with her four sons, especially the almost 60 year old who migrated to the US five years ago with his wife and two daughters, one handicapped and the other people describe as "weird". They are 23 and 25 years old and stay in the house for weeks at a time and have no friends. They all live in my sister's house free, only pay the $80 water bill. He cooks for himself and his two daughters and has never offered his mother a plate of food nor a cup of tea. He states his mother is responsible for keeping a roof over his head even though he is employed full time in security.

About a week ago, he downloaded a Power-of-Attorney form, filled it out, called in a mobile notary public, and had his handicapped daughter witness his signature and the notary was the second witness. He named his 23 year old daughter as Co-Agent to care for my sister in case he is incapacitated and fired the caregiver. This 23-year-old has never held a job before. His Power-of-Attorney states he has to be compensated for his services. My sister offered to pay me but I never took a dime from her. There was no money left after paying her bills and for support care.

I filed a complaint with DCF and they are investigating. In the meantime, he was told by DCF and several sheriffs that his POA was invalid because my sister did not have the capacity to make decisions. The Notary Public was also informed that my sister did not have the capacity to understand what he was asking of her but went ahead and had her sign the Power-of-Attorney. My nephew has continued to distribute the invalid POA to everyone involved in the medical care of my sister and financial institutions. He has sent a "Cease and Desist Demand" for harassment and threatened to bring criminal charges against me if I tried to contact "his residents".

My sister has been in hospice care and I was told she needed 24/7 support care. A few months ago she told me in front of witnesses that I should sell her house and use the equity to pay for her support care, to which I agreed. We signed contract with a buyer, but my nephew has used his Power-of-Attorney to block the sale after I gave him an eviction notice. The closing was this past Monday. Now he has my sister as a prisoner in her own home and no one else is allowed to communicate with her except his family. He refused to pay the caregiver for the first two weeks of July 2021, and told her she should look to me to pay her. He blocked me from my sister's bank accounts using his Power-of-Attorney.

I know this is long, but I tried to fit everything in so you can have a sort of full picture of my plight.

Tg, I have heard of many that do ok with elders in NHs far from them, even other states. A lot can be organised via phone but of course visiting becomes hard, more costly in time & money. Of course you may wish to visit your Father a lot more than a distant, hardly met Aunt, Uncle or Cousin.. Go for the best acceptable local choice imho.

When I move to my beach shack I can tell you now I will not be providing indoor accommodation for any guests. They can camp in my yard & cook on the bbq go 5 star in a hotel - their choice.

Tg, glad to hear from you!

I think you are making some assumptions about what facilities Medicaid will pay for. I wonder if visiting an eldercare attorney familiar with your state might be a good thing to do while you are in planning mode.

I believe I knowmthe Masonic facility you speak
of:

https://www.masonicare.org/resources/financial-options.

It appear they accept Medicaid.

Also, here is a list of New Hampshire Nursing Homes that accept Medicaid:

https://aptible.familyassets.com/nursing-homes/new-hampshire


Your local Area Agency on Aging might b ht also have good information.

tg - Happy you and your wife had 4 weeks alone!

mother was in facilities 5 hrs drive away. It wasn't a problem. I kept in very close contact with staff and drove or flew down there as needed for meetings and visits. My sister was in Scotland so she didn't visit often.

As far as financials go, we have a different system here in Canada so mother was able to be in good facilities as low cost to her. If the Masonic lodge is affordable I would opt for that. He will be among buddies which he likes. Does it take Medicaid? As I understand it, that is the resource for people in the US needing facility care and not having enough financial resources for self pay.

Are there other facilities nearer which take Medicaid? You might want to look into that.

I am so glad you are planning for this transition for your dad. You and your wife have had a very heavy load with him in your home.

Just planning for the inevitable and the future, noting of urgency. Dad is in semi OK health but changes all the time up and down. My concern is if he has to go into a facility. It's just me and my wife here, Sibling in another state family in yet another state.
If dad has an event that will require long-term or permanent care what do I do? I have had one family member with cancer we brought to live with us but was sort lived until hospice. At the same time, another was in a state across the country with a stroke that required permanent assignment to a NH. The latter had no financial resources but we lucked out with a great state and great facility that took time but not many resources from us. With dad's different story, our state is expensive and he has no resources except for SSI. No house or retirement. He has good medical insurance. My concern is he won't be able to afford the facilities here and will go to a county facility which I have been in and wouldn't even think of putting him there. The only option is a Masonic facility in the state we came from and he is still a member. It will be far from family A few an hour away but for children many hours away. They may be able to help with finance. Has anyone had to deal with placement far away. Just trying to prepare mentally and financially. He's OK now but we don't have a house that is conducive to a nonambulatory person. What do I do then?
He is slowing down, more work for us now that he cant drive. Had 4 weeks alone and it was great. Back to our house being shared.... cooking food that he doesn't like (not his favorite), If you don't pay for the food, cook it, or prep it, you don't have a voice. He does not contribute to the household. I pay for everything except his going out and his immediate bills.
I pay for all the living expenses except his cell phone that my sibling pays for..... $45. a month whoo hoo.....

sharyn - lots of interesting wildlife. Love pronghorns. Hope your time with your sis works out and you have fun at the BBQ with other family. Sorry to hear about your bro's experience. I trust he came out of it OK.

Beatty - Scottish Lochs and mountains are beautiful . I miss them. Re excessive talking Dd has a bit of that recently having had her Wellbutrin upped.. I will feed that back to her - saw it yesterday very clearly and she normally is anything but a chatterbox. Has your relative had any meds changes? I have seen it related to anxiety.

Lots of smoke here from BC fires.

Beatty, the other term for is is "press of speech"or "pressured speech". It can be symptomatic of a manic episode, Wernicke's, schizophrenia and other schizoid illnesses

Logorrhoea - wow thanks 😃

Possible pain control after a fairly recent injury? Hmmm.. interesting.. I can sus that out.

I have a dear older friend who is in her early 80s. She talks A LOT, and often leaves no gaps for me to reply. This is the way she's been since I met her 20 odd years ago. When I visit her, she does most of the talking. When it's time to leave, it takes at least 30 minutes to an hour from the time I say "I've gotta go" to when I get in the car and drive away because she keeps finding new things to talk about. I tell my husband it takes a long time to actually leave after I say bye. He suggests that when I go to visit her, I say hi and bye right away. Haha.

Logorrhoea (no, really).

I've noticed this in people who are taking morphine, e.g. a normally reticent gentleman but just after he's had his Oromorph you can't shut him up; and an elderly lady with one of those diabolical once-weekly patches, and on Tuesdays and Wednesdays she was a nightmare to get away from - only in her case I think she might have had pre-existing tendencies,

Would your relative have any need for opiates?

Thanks Need. Or Chatty-Cathy ☺️. More pics flowing my way, just so one-sided you know? No how are you & yours 😞. Reckon ghosting will have to be the answer for now 👻

Beatty, the unofficial answer would be a ‘chatterbox’. 😊

Some people during the manic phase of Bipolar disorder, speak very fast.

Hey does anyone know the name for 'excessive talking'?

I had always suspected General Anxiety Disorder & at times, Adjustment Disorder, in a close relative but this is fairly new. Fast speech, talks from own topic to own topic, may ask questions but leaves no gap for reply, any attempt to shift topics gets reverted back to own topic.

I thought maybe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity but this is new, not lifelong. 🤔

The Sierras sound truly idealic - nature is always the best cure for the soul isn't it.

I am just watching travel shows on beautiful Scottish lochs & mountains - from this latest snap lockdown 😶

Golden, my friend I was going to stay with for 2 nights has backed out because she is very concerned about the delta variant of Covid. I will be with my sis for 3 nights. Our sis-in-love is having a bbq with all the kids and grands so we will be able to see our nephews too I’m leaving on Thursday and on Friday my sis and I are going to drive up in the sierras to visit the Place we spent all our summers camping. She hasnt been there in 35 years or more.

no sign of the badger since July 3. We had 2 deer in the neighborhood early one morning. We are surrounded by farm land and the open desert is about 4 miles down the road. My daughter said there have been times when mountain lions came into town and they lockdown the schools. Hasnt happened since we have lived here. We do have one pronghorn antelope that shows up in the winter on the farmland behind our subdivision.

take care everyone, sending love and healing.

edit: My brother was hospitalized for a short time. He woke up one day with middle back pain and his brain immediately goes into the icu delirium state. The dr to,d my sis-in-love that this is a protection mechanism his brain to resort to when he is in pain or ill.

Welcome earthymama and kiki, welcome back sissisu, nice to see you here again, sharyn, hi duck and everyone else

earthy - terrible situation for your mom, Have you called anyone? APS (Adult Protective Services) as well as the hospital might help

sissisu - sounds like same old, same old with your mum. Do what you need to do for your own sanity.

kiki - we understand and we all here are survivors to some degree or another. I find that writing things out helps a lot.

duck - great news that your new assignment and the new aide are good.

sharyn - heat, a badger, ducks 🦆 and grandkids. That's a lot to cope with. Hope your visit to a friend and your parent's grave site go well and your time with your sis. I know it hasn't always been smooth.

Alternating heat and thunderstorms here but at least we get a bit of rain. The kitties are spending most nights out doing their kitty thing. They seem to stay pretty close to the house which is safest for them. I have adjusted my thyroid dose and the leg cramps I was having are going or gone, my vision is better and my mind is better focused. I call that a win! 👏.

Mother's estate is in the penultimate stage of completion and I have much of my personal tax stuff sorted. One more visit to my tax people should do it. It feels good to make progress. 😊 I have a visual of being in a tunnel with things flying at me (representing things I have to do). The number of things is decreasing, and the light is increasing. At one point of caregiving there wasn't much light.

Dd has been very helpful with this and that - things I could do but she can do more easily. I am thankful.

Take care, all. You are important!

So mom called me tonight, didn’t say one word, after I said hello a couple of times. I put the phone on mute because I have had similar weird encounters before with her. She wants a big fight, as that feeds her narcissistic supply. I try not to engage. So she finally hung up. I blocked her number as she’s called me before when angry about whatever around 2 to 4 a.m. I made the mistake of answering before and was very angry within 30 seconds. She then says what if it were an emergency. My sibling lives 3 miles away. I am 170 miles away. Plus, you call 911 if a serious emergency.
I anticipated her calling back and leaving a nasty voicemail. Bingo. She was upset that I talked with the neighbor and looked at her dog. Jealous of a dog. It was maybe 2 to 3 minutes max. Ridiculous. Then heard how she’s not felt well all week (I am sure it’s something I cooked for her because I can’t do anything right - LOL). She’s not going to the doctor for the EKG he wants; why bother (big sigh). And one woman at the church she used to go to a few years back, well her mother lives with her. She’s a good daughter! That mother isn’t left all alone. Well that mother is a very go with the flow type of person. When mom would talk with her or the daughter to complain about how the church did whatever small thing she didn’t like, both would be like oh it wasn’t an issue for them.
I keep a journal to vent, even writing in it during mom’s rant-a-thon phone calls. It’s a pattern of very happy, to ok, to pitying, to very dark moods. I can almost predict it from the first few words she says, or in this case, her actions.
I am still shaking my head though on why she’s mad now. She really demands or expects attention to be on her 24/7. It is just not possible and it is exhausting. If I had a SO, she’d be jealous of him. I keep any personal life from her, because if I go to a restaurant with friends, I hear, “I don’t get to go anywhere, I don’t get to do anything. I am the forgotten one”. My brother shares very little with her (I have heard their conversations when I have been there. It’s the weather, sports, maybe some local news. It’s really sad, but if you share something personal, she saves that item and then uses it against you somehow.
It is thankfully cooler here. No badgers around! I would probably scream if I saw one nearby. LOL
Take care everyone.

I posted because I could not see the last two lines I wrote. 

my sister and I will visit with our brother and our parents grave site.  My brothers wife takes flowers regularly to our parents as her family is right across the street.  I will get additional flowers to place on her family’s site.  I plan to visit by myself on Friday but will go again on Saturday so  my sister can 
be there.  

we have had a badger in our neighborhood starting around June 30.  I have not heard anything regarding sightings since July 3.  Apparently he/she is not very big, we are not letting our grandsons out front without our supervision.  They enjoy riding their scooters out front. I’m hoping the July 4th celebration noises scare it away.  

the duck that nested in our front flowerbed, laid 11 eggs, only 4 hatched and it happened during the night.  I was not able to get pictures. 

stay cool in all this heat and enjoy the summer.

Hello everyone!   

duck, I’m with you all the way.  So much to deal with and dealing with support issues is big.  I send you love and blessing and you filter through everything to benefit your mom and you as well.  

it has been incredibly hot hot here in Idaho since the end of June.  11 consecutive day over 100 and 3 days at 99 and Saturday starts back up to 102 -104 the next week.  

I am planning to voting California on July 21.  Iwill stay with a friend on the 21st-22nd. The 23rd and 24th I will stay with my sister.  We will visit our brother onthe24th   I will leave for home shortly after.  
 
we have the boys 4 days a week.  Swim lessons 4 days a week.    Plus we take the boys to the pool we have for our subdivision.   

a badger has been roaming our subdivision.  We have not see. It, apparently it is small.

My mother has new home attendant because she abuse the younger attendant. The new one seems great.

My new assignment was good. I have to get used to hours. 16hours 2 days straight. Not fulltime. I am considering options as far as being fulltime for health insurance which I have not learned about actual benefits. A certain amount of monthly income determines the amount of monthly payments. It may not be worth the monthly payment.
Health insurance is a business I have to weigh the pros and cons of trying to keep fulltime statu

I lost the no l was writing.
Kiki you are not alone in your struggle. This forum has saved my sanity. There are angels on board who will guide
You in learning about your issues give support and understanding.
Hang in and keep posting. There are no coincidences. This entire forum is a blessing.
Msuch love and Ray's of healing and protection to us all.

Sisuzu I can feel your pain when you mentioned an insult responding with after all I have done for you. Hang in there you are not alone in your struggle.

Mom is still not answering the phone, and she would pester me with a ton of calls as I would drive back to my house on prior trips. “Aren’t you home yet, where are you, what are you doing?” Then she would keep me on the phone for an hour or so once I got home, even though I would say gotta go, have to unpack, etc.
Now she has pouted before, but typically after an argument. There was no real arguing this time. She’s been crying without any real reason or provocation recently, which has me wondering if there have been mini strokes or something neurological going on with her. I would also have expected angry and lecturing voicemails by now, but nothing. Trying to figure out what I did this time, which honestly it’s my scapegoat self emerging again. Sometimes, yes, I do argue with her, so I am not without fault. She knows how to guilt trip and push all of my buttons. I have her number blocked for now, because if she calls, want to hear her mood before I jump right back in and call her (prepare/brace myself).
Reading everyone’s posts makes me feel less crazy and sort of lucky I don’t have more relatives calling and yelling at me. My one sibling just doesn’t talk to me, which is fine, because he can be very abusive. Silence is golden when it comes to him. Hope everyone has a better day today. I am ok, just puzzled by the recent developments.