
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Em
Margeuax~sounds like you had a good thanksgiving, good for you..
Iwentanon~Yes may we all have abundant health, including you!!
We had a good relaxing dinner yesterday with my mom and sis. I separated turkey carcass into 2 different crock pots have it cooking on low but there is not enough room to add veggies, LOL!!
Tonight I logged on to facebook with a friend request from MY HUSBAND!! WTH???I yelled to him from my office asking him if he created another fb account. He said yes because he could not log in on his original account. I said You got hacked!!! Then my son texted me saying he received a friend request from his dad and it said he was no longer working for ......! I told him not to accept it, dad was hacked probably on the new account he created with no security controls added. Hubs said that Kate was back on his friend list, he does not know how??? I told him....Look, if this is what you want to do, and you feel good about yourself doing it that is perfectly ok ...THEN DO IT...I do not have the time or patience for it. He said he was not talking with her, does not know how she got on his friend list. I have come to the conclusion, my husband has no idea how to work the internet. This blows me away for someone who is very intelligent, uses a computer at work. Of course at work, he is using a program specifically for their needs, but he has only recently started to explore the internet at home.
He hires a guy who frys up lots of turkeys. I've decided that I don't care for the fried version of turkey. They are so bland. i much rather prefer a roasted one, because I really think that turkey does well amping up the flavor with herbs and spices. Maybe I'll make one during the Christmas season.
I made a sweet potato casserole. I wanted to do a ying and yang recipe which is bringing down the sweet flavor of the sweet potato. So I had plans to layer the bottom of casserole with green beans, and forgot to buy them. So I substituted with cabbage, onions and celery. I layered it on the bottom of casserole then added the sweet potato on top, with a good pinch of cayenne. So it was spicy and sweet.
My husband, who always gives me his funny advice about my recipes. He said, that the plate/casserole is all about presentation. HAAH! Apparently, he thought it didn't look so appealing. I know he judged this by the fact that the casserole didn't get completely eaten. There wasn't much left really. Actually we went a bit late to this event, which next year I'm pushing to show up earlier. By the time we arrived the first seating of people had attacked the side dishes table, and it's very big. There are tons of side dishes, it was probably just my husbands nit picky way about things. He suggested, that I just make the sweet potatoes in their whole form, or cut them up. I almost did that, but thought casserole would be a more exciting way. Oh well! We just can't seem to please the non-cooking masses.
So, I just replied to him, "Well honey....that's really a whole different menu, and this time I opted for a casserole." He like it none the less. Good thing was, I had some saved in the fridge and last night I turned it into a Sheppard's pie of sorts.
Oh boy did he love that, so did I!
I had some good conversation with someone I hadn't seen in 4 yrs.
We talked about how we really enjoy attending this Thanksgiving with friends,
and how he felt the very same way, that spending it with family for him is like spending it with polite strangers. Thank you to the author of that phrase, so fitting.
I hope everyone survived their Thanksgiving.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
It was fun all in all our orphan Thansksgiving.
Much
sharyn - how lovely. I did video calls with Em when dd and sil lived down east for a while. Modern technology can be great. Those babies will grow so fast...
glad - wonderful that you are having a good break. Well deserved! The TSs need to know what you go through week after week.
brandy - not sure what to say about the orderly - everyone gave good advice. Can your mum let you know if anything happens? Keep us posted.
Austin - so nice to have family around. Hope all travelling are safe. The roads here are dreadful and I am so thankful that G has a large truck, though he needs to keep weight in the box.
Me -good you are thankful for even the pets. Hope they settle down. As Austin said - a spray bottle of water works for many.
Welcome Leah. Absentee siblings is one of the common themes here. Better absentee than making trouble, but neither is good. There are those who do the work, and there are those don't, and some who criticise and want money. I am not sure they will regret it. I think they make their choices very aware of what they are doing. Good for you for hanging in there. Sounds like your mum was a good mum and that is not always the case.
book - do Tums help? Yes, that technology is more and more in the work place. G's meeting this week was the people in the west videoconferencing with the east. Cheaper than flying them all down east. I wouldn't be surprised if they have more meetings this way to save money.
fligirl - I am so glad that you are getting some help. Hope your pain subsides. The Black Friday thing from CM was funny! Commercial greed is amazing.
More snow here again, though the temps are up, but with wind chill still pretty bad. RCMP are advising against travel, not that I am thinking of going farther than the local stores. Online shopping is great for so many things. It looks so peaceful outside - all white and clean. Got an invoice and a note from mother's shopper about the outings which continue to go well. Mother bought herself some winter boots at an atrocious price, and other things. I am glad I don't have to shop for her any more for a while. So thankful for this lady. I gather the SW has a list of other ladies should we need it. D is pretty booked up. Also got mother's tax refund and the tax service paid for, arranged for for another 6 months of furniture storage & sent in post dated cheques, as well as paying D. Should be good for a while.
Guts doing pretty well in the alternate meds and no side effects so far - YAY! I have been losing some hair on the other one (a known side effect). Happened before. My hairdresser and I have noticed, but no one else has, and I am off it now, so it will grow back.
Hope every one has a good weekend. Thinking of those who haven't posted for a while. Do let us know how you are.
Do something good for you today!
I'm trying to fight against being so modernized. I'm torn about getting a FaceBook account so that I can keep updated with my siblings in the states. And then I need to change my cell phone from prepaid to a monthly account so that I can have online access. Having a prepaid cell phone is very limiting. Then I need to get Skype (kindle and laptop) but.....
The reason I'm mentioning this is because when I hear stories like Sharyn just shared, it makes me realize how limiting I'm making myself. I could Skype to my siblings. =( Not really.. don't care for that. But... I need to get with 'it' because nowadays in the work place, receptionists and assistant aides are into these stuff as part of their job. sigh...
Thanks, Sharyn. I was gluttonous yesterday. I stuffed myself at lunch, then dinner and the midnight 'snack' which was really a meal and not a snack. Today is the first time I've had a really bad acid reflux in months. Because I rarely get it now, I don't carry with me the Gas-X. 9pm and still miserable - in the guts. Do I regret eating all that food yesterday. Nope!
I worked today, managed to get off work by 4:20. When I got home, my daughter had texted me saying to call her. I called her, I ended up face timing with my grandsons' while she bathed one, I entertained the other. It was so awesome...they cooed, smiled and did the fussy cry while I talked and sang to them. My daughter and I sang together "One Tin Soldier"...it brought tears to my eyes.The emotional connections are the strongest for me.
I find things to be thankful for everyday and especially on special days.
Today I am thankful for the staff at the hospital for dealing with mother and being a go between,. She had a fit when she got back the things she gave me to be altered - not because they weren't done right, though that will probably come too, but because now she thinks she has too much clothing and doesn't want me to send her any more. She didn't remember perhaps, anyway didn't acknowledge, that she had given me them to be altered. The SW called and said there was a temp nurse who I guess didn't know how to handle this very well. Oh dear. The SW was amazed as mother had asked for the alterations and pretty well anything else I have sent or brought her. I said that was par for the course for mother. I don't jump to fill her requests for that reason. Sometimes she changes her mind once you have done it, and gets mad that you have, or whatever - one way or another she gets mad and tells you off for not doing things right. I might as well save my energy. Many of you know that scene. I can laugh at it from here - not so nice when it is in your face, or ear. I am wondering if she really needs a phone where she is going. hmmmm
The SW knows no more the coming move than I do. G was at a meeting out of town till today, so he is free now if they call - another thing to be thankful for. Hopefully he won't have another out of town meeting till after Christmas.
Snow and more snow the next couple of days, Guts acting up a bit probably because I reduced meds - trying to manage with less. I think I will try the other one again and take it at bedtime so I have brain fog while I am sleeping rather than during the daytime. :p
Hope everyone has a good day/turkey when ever you have it. I did ours a couple of weeks after Canadian Thanksgiving due to G's schedule.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
exchanging our stories and ideas. I am thankful for my family, even if I gripe about them, and my husband. I am thankful for the world, nature, and the cosmos.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
If you buy a frozen one, they take a long time to defrost, don''t they.
A few years ago, there was a news report about several postal employees who had turkeys defrosting in the trunks of their cars. I couldn't believe that. Of course the news report was about safely defrosting your turkey. I had a good laugh about it.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
So, I'm happy you found the Savory. Thanks for the spices/herb post.
I also will make a butternut squash, (if I find a few at the store) they were kind of low a few days ago. I'm going to make some kind of casserole to take to a big potluck we attend. That should be fun.
O.K., it's been getting colder down here at night and in the morning.
It may be time to get those extra socks, leg warmers or whatever we resort to for colder weather.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Listen.......I realize that it's very difficult for your to make the trips to see your mother.
But if you are sensing something out of sorts regarding this male nurse, and it worries you, what do you have to lose by calling that nursing home and talking to the director, or head nurse. This could be followed up by either an email or a letter.
At the very least......they would be on alert, there would also be some kind of documentation about him. Sometimes we do have to take our courage into our hands, and just do it. I do understand about the relationship about you and your sister, but please......if it's for your mother's well being try to stop being so intimidated by your sister. As we can see from current news, sometimes silence isn't golden.
Courage!!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I am so sorry for the passing of your father. He sounds like he was a wonderful man.
May his spirit soar very high.
What you brother wants to do, is terrible. How is your relationship with your other siblings? Maybe between several of you, it could be pointed out to him that
this is inappropriate at this time.
I definitely know what this feels like. When my father passed away, just after a month......mother (who was always insensitive), had our golden boy brother, also the insensitive type, haul away several loads of things that belonged to my dad to the dump. I couldn't believe this I thought a months time, was just too soon.
Even though in my mother's eyes, she always thought dad's things were junk, I thought it would have been a nicer gesture to the kind of man my dad was, who was generous and never forgot where he came from.....would have been to donate these items to the less fortunate. But oh no! Mother who grew up in the Depression era, then made pretty well in terms of her money, thought of herself as some kind of rich person. I was in the throes of grief, and I did protest to mother at some point. Really do not think it made a difference, but at least I spoke up, and that felt good! Anyway, I completely feel for you. You have every right to point this out to him, even if you do it by yourself.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux