
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
My sister wasn't able to calm down the baby. Her daughter left her for the very first time; she's nursing her. She went out the door w/her sister and the other two little ones because they got flu shots. You are so right, I know these little ones pick up on tension fast. My sister looked rather ridiculous too, w/ an air of she was going to get the job done, meanwhile baby wasn't cooperating.
Get this one.......my sister then mentioned to me, "Oh, this is why I wish my daughter would give her the bottle, it would make things easier." Yes easier for her, or whomever is caring for the baby while her mother leaves for a bit. This baby is barely 2 mos. old, and I applaud the fact my niece has taken to nursing her.
I did point out to my sister, that for a bit of inconvenience.......there are some great benefits from mother's milk. My sister is so much like our mother. I never officially asked our mother whether we were breast fed, but I seriously doubt it. Probably part of the reason I suffer with tremendous allergies, hence sinuses too!
Interesting your sister wants from family what she can't give to them.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
My sister wants personal attention from family/friends. She wants to hear a voice.... She has told me that herself... Her daughters don't call her much because she won't answer the phone even when she is home and has caller ID. I am willing to set te aside for her within reason. Her life outside of family has always taken first place... Goes back to how she viewed our mother excepting family members providing all her needs. Sis puts all her efforts into friends and she gets let down over and over looking for fulfillment outside of herself. Family will let you down too but there is a middle ground of being able to provide needs for yourself as well.
Hugs and love,
Sharynmarie
It was funny too, last time I was there, they have a very nice woman caregiver,
now and it looks to me as if she's there helping my niece w/the kids. She's from a foreign country. So last visit, niece left her newest baby that's being breast fed.
My sister was in the kitchen, roasting bell peppers. This CG, was having a hard time with the baby, since it was her first time her mother left her there w/the CG.
The baby woke up, and started the crying an infant does. The CG, tried her best to calm the little one down, w/no success. Suddenly, my sister bolts over to the living room, and took over the baby. So now the CG, kind of looked at me, and apologized in some way, I guess feeling that since the baby wouldn't stop crying....
I was being deprived of my sister's company. She said, "Oh, I'm sorry........I don't want' to take time away from you spending time w/your sister." HAAH!
In my head, I thought, "Well, but I'm not here to see my sister, it's mother I come to see." I also detected that my sister's nerves were being rattled.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Enjoy. Add noodles if you like.
My sister behaves the very same way as your sister does.
Whenever I've gone to visit mom more recently, since they're currently hosting her daughter, SIL, their little ones, there's too much going on in mother's household.
Oh yes, and let's not forget.........there's mother too! HAAH!
I've taken to just showing up w/o a notice, which I once used to do, since I live far from their place. More recently, I just take my chances, usually they've been there.
I can tell by my sister's reception.........she acts cool as a cucumber with me, and SHE, the usually very busy person, finds every distraction possible, whenever I try to have a conversation with her. I used to get offended by this, and until I finally figured this control game out.......it did used to baffle me. Now, given the situation,
I just take it as par for the course, and could give a rat's a**!
It is interesting too, because already two different visits she went into busy, busy mode with me. It wasn't until on both occassions, oddly enough when I announced I had to get going, was going to be stuck in traffic, NOW she decides to show we are going to have a little sisterly time. Last time, she said, "Come with me to the store." A grocery run. HAAH! I declined the last time, and said, I'd rather spend an extra 15 mins. w/mom. Point: "It's always about them." They make sure to let us know that WE are just in the category of being "casual," company to them.
I too for quite some time have stopped, cell phone communication and even email
Besides it was just to hear this endless venting, and HER problems w/everyone.
It just isn't interesting to me whatsoever. I'm quite fine with it.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
No, I don't do this, as I'm barely starting to make the chicken bone broth.
Are the trimmings just small pieces attached to fat of the beef. I would like to
know this since I plan to try beef broth also.
Thanks,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
When he feels good I feel good.
I had a strike las June and lost 36 pounds, am eating better and walk 12 miles a week. Finally taking care of me!
Our hospice medical director was the only man in the house and never put the seat back down in the toilet. Some fuss buckets could not leave that alone but would not mention it to him. I found a cartoon of a kitty it's fur on end falling into the toilet and added the message "Kindly return the seat to the down position" That did the trick. Personally I felt we should be grateful he actually lifted the seat!
just as well to not text work
re sis - I guess whatever works. I thought you were the one who was busy!
better get to my turkey bones,
My sister misses talking with me....well she is never available when I call her so I stopped calling. Now we have an appointment to talk tomorrow evening, LOL!!
It is funny she needs to schedule me in her life. She is just so busy busy!!
Linda it is true that many women work 2 jobs Even a woman with young children who works only at home works very long hours
Have fun cooking, Margeaux. Soon after I finish one batch, I need to start on another, as it gets eaten quickly and takes several days to prepare.
Me -sorry to hear that gpa fell. If he is of sound mind and will not wear an alert, I believe that you are not responsible. Check with his doctor or a social worker. If you are sick you need to be able to rest. He has other options, but refuses to take them. You are entitled to make decisions for yourself and your kids. Again check with a social worker, but he is still competent so can make decisions in his own interest which would mean hiring someone. He cannot demand that you be the only one to help him. You might want to ask that question to the whole forum. So I say it is not still on you. He is competent and responsible for making arrangements for his own care. Basically nothing ties you to him. If he was not competent you might have to notify social services that he needs help and give them some time to arrange it, but he is competent and you are telling him that you are looking for a job and that he needs to find some other help. As far as the house is concerned, what I have read here is that should he run out of money looking after himself and need Medicaid, the house would be sold when he dies and the money used for pay back. It might be worth asking about that to on the whole forum. I don't think you can count on getting it. Better to have all the right information when making decisions. Eating less is good as long as what you are eating is nutritious. Your body will suffer if it doesn't get the nutrients it needs.
To all be reading to catch up tomorrow I hope.
***Grandpa fell today and I wasnt there. Im trying to be there as much as I can but today Im blah with a cold( again), after I fixed him lunch I told him keep trying me on the phone if he needed me Im going home to sleep and take Nyquil. Yes, because during the day he can have my dad and others check on him so I can be more available at night. Well I woke up about 4 hours later and he didnt answer, I went over and he was on the floor yelling help. Well he wont wear his FREE Alert He has so he can get them to call us or ambulance. He is ok but sore. He needs 24 hr care.. just to keep an eye out in case of the times like these. Drs says hes of sound mind but stubborn.
Is it neglect if I tell him again Im looking for a job and will be gone 40hrs plus a week and when they hire me go to work even if he hasnt hired anyone else? I talked to my dad and my Aunt and they say work, you and we warned him its on him. But yet, Its still on me right because Im the only physical one to do so for him? I know you all told me have the people come out and eval him, hes had a Dr and therapists come out and all cleared him! As long as he has the Alert thing tho I believe. I love him but....
What do I do? I want and need a job, Im sock again from all this stress from everyone. Good thing is Im eating less! Need to exercise but sooo tired but eating less is a start right?
Thanks to you too, for the explanation about the gelatin.
This is great how we seem to having a whole section about cooking here.
I'm thawing a whole chicken, and can't wait to start the bone broth from it,
see what I come up with this time. Yum!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Thanks so much for the explanations about the fat vs. the gelatin.
Now I get it.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Joan~That is the problem with retail work....if you are not a manager...the perks are few...last week I worked 6 days; including Sunday...that means they have to pay me OT for the 6th day plus we are under the old contract right now which means I also get 1-1/3 time for working Sunday. However, the appreciation is not given...not that I want constant pats on the back...but when they take the attitude that I have nothing else to do...well...not true...I do have a life even though my life is very simple with no night life and extra socializing. The deli manager is currently working at my old local store for 2 months so everything is falling on the bakery manager now. The bakery manager texted me saying she meant to have me scheduled today but made a mistake...that is fine she made a mistake..but when I see the next weeks schedule, I make my plans for spending time with my mom, what I am going to do at home, errands to run....just not willing to give it up weekly for them. I will text the bakery manager later, letting her know if she needs me on Wednesday I will come in....I requested tomorrow off and not giving it up. She said I was suppose to work 40 hours this week but she messed up...well I will give them Wednesday back...but I suspect she wont take it since today was the day they really need someone.
My daughter is struggling with working and be a new mother. Her hubs is very supportive...but...he just can't function on less than 8-9 of uninterrupted sleep...he gets grumpy and cranky which makes it hard for my daughter as she tries to please him, take care of the boys, and work. I do believe that with men and taking care of babies is something they had to grow up witnessing their dad being part of the caregiving for themselves and sibs. As a result, my daughter has applied for a position within her company to be a trainer....M~F with very little OT and it will be a step down for her.
The fluid or gel part also contains minerals which are beneficial. As I mentioned the broth may or may not gel depending on how much water you have added. A caution - if it has gelled and you keep it for a long time and it "ungels" - goes liquid again, then it is time to throw it out. Keeping the fat on top of the broth allows you to keep it much longer.
Bone broth is said to be healing for the gut (VERONICA) good for the joints, for inflammation in general, and other things. It is very cheap nutritious food.
Sharyn -they really are leaning on you, but not wiling to work with you to meet your needs. If you wanted to be more available, would they be willing to pay you more or compensate you in other ways? It has to work for you as well as them, and they seem to only consider themselves. Looks like they are managing by crises - not a good thing.
You're welcome! Good, don't answer that cell, nor texts, you need your time off too.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Now is there a difference between the chicken fat, and this gelatin?
I'm asking since I read that for the gelatin to be released from the bones, one must simmer it longer. I do know that chicken fat appears, well in oil form very soon when simmering a chicken, or pieces, and thereafter of course when I put it in the fridge, the fat coagulates, etc. I just want to make sure I'm getting the true goodness of this gelatin. It's very interesting, I just love to learn the added benefits about these foods.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux