
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Dad is still in the hospital and grouchy. Daughter's hopefully future school is testing her soon, hopefully they accept her into their program. Son is the same. Still lots to call, go and get done.
Hugs all
better for everyone involved!
welcome Kimberley -you are not alone with sibs who paint you black. It can be very distressing. Hope it gets sorted out.
sharyn - hope the vacay works out
Alison - sounds like they are doing the right things for your dad. So glad your bro's visit went well and that you are catching up on sleep. Maybe bro gets it a little better now re your care giving - maybe
me - Austin said it - you need to detach - the guilt etc. will go then. I know it isn't easy. Your will never please grandpa - he prefers to be unhappy about things and likes the attention.
glad - thinking of you - I know this is a very difficult and painful time and lonely. ((((((((hugs))))))
Had a very nice time here with G. Good to come here and not do any mother business and not look at all the things I need to do at home. On the down side one of the waitresses took a shine to me and I found a long note with address and phone numbers under my door this morning (should have paid cash not charged to the room I had a feeling...) However she was a good waitress - most of the others were terrible. I mean really bad. They charged me for things I didn't eat, didn't bring coffee, tried to tell me what I could and couldn't eat when I mentioned allergies. Aaargh, but still a good weekend anyway, and I know I am fortunate that I can take these breaks.
Take care all and hope you are having a good week. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
Me1000~The AL (assisted living)/memory care facility my mother is living in has their own fashionista on the AL side. Her name is "V", she is very slender and wears very trendy outfits with jewelry, hair, makeup and nails are done to perfection.She actually models for local advertisements like Kohls and JC Penney. She does have money as she lives in one of the "Villas" on the AL side, but she is very sweet and down to earth. She will share her life history with you, invite in to her Villa to show you around and she is social with everyone. She told me she had a severe weight problem once and had surgery for it. Now she walks twice a day all over the nearby neighborhood, she is also a brain tumor survivor.
Alison~It is good you are getting to catch up on your sleep, relax and just let down. I am glad that your brother chose to be "civil" ...I use that word for lack of a better...it is basically what my dil's mother and I decided we would do when around each other due to our differences.
Since the rain on Friday, it has been chilly here, but by Wednesday/Thursday we will be back into the mid/high 70's.
I am planning a possible vacation in January during the week of the 5th as my daughter's employer will be sending her to Arizona for a few days. I am hoping to fly to Idaho to help my sil with the babies, get that bonding time I didn't get after they were born and spend some time with my daughter when she comes back from Arizona. Still working out the particulars on this and hoping it all works out.
Dad is at nursing rehab facility for a few more days. The goal is to get him stronger, walking again, and used to his new feeding tube. He has been approved to have thin liquids by mouth and I wonder if he will be able to return to eating/drinking orally or not. I have no idea what the rate is for those who have to go on a feeding tube to then return to being able to eat/drink.
I'm sleeping a lot past day and a half and oh boy does it feel good. Older bro was here for a few days with his FOUR young kids and I loved seeing them but it was tiring. Older bro has a lifetime history of being overly critical and controlling towards me but we got along ok this visit, and I'm thankful for that. I'm hoping he and I can take baby steps in a new direction, but even if it's not a permanent change, I was glad to have a mostly agreeable visit with him.
Have a great start to the new week, all. Big (((((hugs))))).
Margeaux- Awww that man sounds sweet :) I think you made his day by chatting with him! Im also sorry about your friend. Hugs to you
sharynmarie- Your right they do love to share and just to see them light up when you say hi and listen to them, makes them feel good and cared for to :)
jujubean-I hope it gets sorted for your mom. They do feel the chill easier but its a hard in between. Its a good question which one is worse. Does your mom have flannel sheets and pillow covers? Then shed be warmer with only a need for one blanket maybe? Good luck
Countrymouse and Veronica91- I agree!
I knew my food today wasn't the best, we are out of some ingredients, the onions were good but not fresh etc.. I couldn't get to the store and its generic brands. So I get blasted once again how awful I am on cooking I have to learn etc! Breakfast he rarely complains so thats good. But he likes the food particular ways and spices etc. I try.Well I told him today I refuse to cook anymore for him he will have soups and TV dinners for lunch and dinner! Or he can do one meal a day at meals on wheels in place of soup lets say.. ( lunches of course).Which he will complain about because its gonna be "bland" to him. He got so mad and yelled" your wasting money on those cant afford them, their not real food" Dont wanna pay meals on wheels.
I can deal with people not caring for my food, thats fine, Im not a cook,but to knock me down all the time.. oh dont forget all the things I do wrong. Then.. to tell all the neighbors? Really? This is so embarrassing! I do get the verbal put downs and I think besides feeling like I should put up with it because I do love him and he needs care, thats why I tried getting everything done beyond perfect before he asks! ( well still never good enough anyway) I used to jump at every little dish, every crumb, every smudge, etc but I haven't lately.. he wants to put me down and basically say Im a loser- why not act like one? Ok, thats beyond childish I know. But might as well be what he says about me right? On the other hand when my kids are acting up he feels so bad for me and I dont deserve this and he loves me so much!! I realize that no matter what I do it wont please him really.. like you all said before.
I just hope that one day all the truth comes out from my grandpa to the neighbors or that they over hear what really goes on because I really look like a loser here. Then I can sit back with relief and seeing their faces in shock that he was the one who told me not to do something then had a neighbor do it or let them do it , going back to I should of done everything and anything for him he never asks much etc...making me look bad. They already said I don't do enough. I been daydreaming about my future... making up how its going to be.. I like that version :)
Could you hide the surplus blankets in a cupboard somewhere??!!
so the question that has been posed to all of her Med proffesionals and not answered is what is better for her....to feel a little chilly when adequately covered up or to be drenched in sweat....I feel the latter Is not good cause then when I do unblanket her and she is wet/moist she does then get a real chill..could lead to pneumonia, sp?..therefore more dangerous than maintaining my way!
So am I wrong in being upset that my support staff are making their own call on this???? I think not!!!
and.....Same with the coffee.....that Is the only thing I can get her to drink without a fight and she always ask for it....no matter who I tell no coffee they do what they like....especially "in rehab facility" we already are struggling with liquid intake I need good electrolytes and plain water in her not just coffee.....and caffeine is a dehydrator so must be decaf if anything!! when challenged, nursing home says....oh she's old let her have what she wants, she deserves it...WTF....who put you in charge of my mom's health!