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I imagine, but still kind of strange. Keep her feet in moisturizing socks, i would like some of those for me!
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I guess since it is on the bottom of her foot... Less activity does not wear it down...???
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Strange, Sharyn, I would think it would be the opposite, too much activity would cause a callus.
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Took mom to the podiatrist this morning. She has a callus on her left foot just under the toe pad... It builds up quick causing her pain. The dr said it is because she is not that active.
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Thank you everybody! I appreciate my friends here more than you could understand. But, then again many of you are in very similar positions.
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Happy Birthday Glad!
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Juju~Thank you for sharing about the protein powder. With my last blood work, my dr said to increase protein and I have been wondering...how the heck can I do that when I am eating protein 3 times a day already...this may benefit my sister too as she fancies herself a vegetarian but does not include enough protein due to finances..so maybe this would help her too, (not holding my breath as she is very particular).
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Glad~Happy Birthday, I know you are not feeling up to celebrating a birthday for yourself, but we want you to know, we are thinking about you today. Take care and many blessings!
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Birthday wishes to you, glad!
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Thank you all :) Well my Aunt ( the one who was mad about all the rules she gave when I told gpa) says" she is worried about me and how much Im taking on, and she understands I cant do everything her dad needs to hire others, I need to put my foot down. Then concerns of money exact amounts if grandpa put in the will and if he needs it for his care it would be there. She kept saying she doesn't know whats in the will .." Well I see her point and agree. But, as long as I pay the bills at my home..his entire check ( hes far from well off- hes ok off- but it can be done)can cover either the VA or the care at home. I mean, Ill be there nights and on days not working ( once I find a job) That will help keep the costs down. And one of his neighbors has been coming a little more checking on him- she may hate me but I am beyond grateful for her.

Dad is still in the hospital and grouchy. Daughter's hopefully future school is testing her soon, hopefully they accept her into their program. Son is the same. Still lots to call, go and get done.

Hugs all
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OOPS sorry so tired today smashed my toenail off n headache...NESTLE BENE-PROTIEN not FIBER
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it will go in anything pudding applesauce yogurt mashed taters n gravy biscuits n gravy soups spaghetti...anything for that extra boost....love love love it!
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Yes Allison and Everyone...simple as walmart on shelf by Ensure n thick-it etc which looks like I gotta start getting, she is choking on her water more n more! once a day maybe! anyway bout $12 bucks a can and also "Walmart online" 8can case. I do it that way cause they are often out on shelf! "NESTLE BENEFIBER"
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Juju, can you give me more specifics on how you use this protein powder, which one it is? My dad currently weighs 110#. I was thinking of buying the weight-gain type of Ensure, thinking he can drink that... I still have to check with his current nurses about that, whether or not he can drink orally. But I could use some other ideas, too, about how to put some weight back on him. Thanks!!! Big (((hugs))).
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That is what is the irritating part.... I knw my mom and know what Is best and I don't like that others think the do! I don't want to have to battle everything all the time....24/7 alone with ZERO help Is hard enough and this behavior does not allow me to have respite as I cannot trust her care will be as I specify!!! it is my mom my money my call sorry to be blunt but I have had it 10 ys Is too long, things will change for the better from now on I will speak up rather than fester!
better for everyone involved!
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Thanks everyone been overwhelmed with other stuff to catch up on responses but with respect to the coffee which I forgot to mention it is because she has had gastric bypass and can only tolerate small amounts and nutrition/vitamins is so hard to absorb she need food first and coffee regulated as a treat to get her to eat! it works don't mess with it!!! and found a lovely flavorless protein powder that I can put in almost anything (finally others gave her diareah so bad wasn't worth it) she has gained bout 20lbs since!!!
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You know, alcoholism is such a dreadful disease, ranks right up there with Alzheimer's. I have thought about what to do, but J had alienated so many friends the last five or six years, leaving some of them very angry at him. Two of his long time friends have come through for me, and are somewhat supportive. But this da** dysfunctional family, no offers of sympathy, condolences, nothing... And TS#1 was actually upset that she had no idea how bad J's health was! Oh the joys of narcissism.
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Ahhh, glad - I will wish you a Happy Birthday anyway. Special days are specially hard. Do something good for you - if not today - as soon as you can. You are worth it. Have you thought about a way to commemorate your friendship with J and his life and passing? It may be too soon. Take good care of you these days.
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Thank you, Emjo. J passed a week ago today, becoming less distressing, yesterday was difficult as his memorial was held. Today is my birthday, and don't feel a bit like it. Maybe next year.
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just a quick drive by - intermittent internet connection in the hotel

welcome Kimberley -you are not alone with sibs who paint you black. It can be very distressing. Hope it gets sorted out.

sharyn - hope the vacay works out

Alison - sounds like they are doing the right things for your dad. So glad your bro's visit went well and that you are catching up on sleep. Maybe bro gets it a little better now re your care giving - maybe

me - Austin said it - you need to detach - the guilt etc. will go then. I know it isn't easy. Your will never please grandpa - he prefers to be unhappy about things and likes the attention.

glad - thinking of you - I know this is a very difficult and painful time and lonely. ((((((((hugs))))))

Had a very nice time here with G. Good to come here and not do any mother business and not look at all the things I need to do at home. On the down side one of the waitresses took a shine to me and I found a long note with address and phone numbers under my door this morning (should have paid cash not charged to the room I had a feeling...) However she was a good waitress - most of the others were terrible. I mean really bad. They charged me for things I didn't eat, didn't bring coffee, tried to tell me what I could and couldn't eat when I mentioned allergies. Aaargh, but still a good weekend anyway, and I know I am fortunate that I can take these breaks.

Take care all and hope you are having a good week. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
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I feel for you all. After a lifetime of loving care of my parents absent brothers have suddenly stepped in and taken over making me out a bad person. Just talking to my mom every day on phone and praying a lot
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Juju~When I go visit my mom, the community building for AL and memory care is too hot for me which requires me to plan ahead and dress accordingly. My mother wears a sweater year round except when I take her out for a walk during the summer months, then she has to take it off. Since you live with your mother, a happy medium somewhere in there as keeping to home to warm could cause you to become sick more often especially during the winter months when the flu is most active. Maybe decaf tea would be good since it does have water and comes in different flavors like mint, raspberry, etc. When my mom was still living at home, she refused to use her heater during the last 2 winters she was home, and would not use the a/c in the summer....didn't want to spend the extra money on PG&E bill. She would wear a beanie cap, gloves and a jacket in the house in the winter. I bought her a pant/jacket outfit from QVC by Stan Herman....lounge wear. They are very warm for the colder months...a little expensive but very worth it. Maybe if you look online, you can others that are less costly elsewhere. I have 2 for myself for the winter, I wear them on my days off work and they are nice enough to wear to the grocery store. I hope this helps.

Me1000~The AL (assisted living)/memory care facility my mother is living in has their own fashionista on the AL side. Her name is "V", she is very slender and wears very trendy outfits with jewelry, hair, makeup and nails are done to perfection.She actually models for local advertisements like Kohls and JC Penney. She does have money as she lives in one of the "Villas" on the AL side, but she is very sweet and down to earth. She will share her life history with you, invite in to her Villa to show you around and she is social with everyone. She told me she had a severe weight problem once and had surgery for it. Now she walks twice a day all over the nearby neighborhood, she is also a brain tumor survivor.

Alison~It is good you are getting to catch up on your sleep, relax and just let down. I am glad that your brother chose to be "civil" ...I use that word for lack of a better...it is basically what my dil's mother and I decided we would do when around each other due to our differences.

Since the rain on Friday, it has been chilly here, but by Wednesday/Thursday we will be back into the mid/high 70's.

I am planning a possible vacation in January during the week of the 5th as my daughter's employer will be sending her to Arizona for a few days. I am hoping to fly to Idaho to help my sil with the babies, get that bonding time I didn't get after they were born and spend some time with my daughter when she comes back from Arizona. Still working out the particulars on this and hoping it all works out.
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Hi everybody. :-) Hope everyone had a good weekend?

Dad is at nursing rehab facility for a few more days. The goal is to get him stronger, walking again, and used to his new feeding tube. He has been approved to have thin liquids by mouth and I wonder if he will be able to return to eating/drinking orally or not. I have no idea what the rate is for those who have to go on a feeding tube to then return to being able to eat/drink.

I'm sleeping a lot past day and a half and oh boy does it feel good. Older bro was here for a few days with his FOUR young kids and I loved seeing them but it was tiring. Older bro has a lifetime history of being overly critical and controlling towards me but we got along ok this visit, and I'm thankful for that. I'm hoping he and I can take baby steps in a new direction, but even if it's not a permanent change, I was glad to have a mostly agreeable visit with him.

Have a great start to the new week, all. Big (((((hugs))))).
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Me is sounds like you will never please him so do what you can and not worry-you are doing the best you can and that is enough-some people you can ever please. On my mother's last vac. we were sharing a hotel room and could not please her then light bulb went on in my head-you can not please her do not let her words hurt you any more and from then on they never did-her words just bounced off me-I was free of getting hurt by her verbal abuse-she picked up some illness on the trip or was sick before we went according to my aunt but did not tell my sister or me because she wanted to go to the wedding and she died within two weeks of getting home and guess who stayed 24/7 in her hospital room-me the ineffective daughter-but her words just did not hurt me-she lost that power -I took my power away from her to hurt me-wished I had that insight with the years of caregiving the husband-but I won I have a good kind man who loves me now.
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195Austin- Thank you! Yes Im glad you saw your friends and Im sure you brought some cheer :) My kids and I are going to hopefully start helping at a local food bank soon as well.

Margeaux- Awww that man sounds sweet :) I think you made his day by chatting with him! Im also sorry about your friend. Hugs to you

sharynmarie- Your right they do love to share and just to see them light up when you say hi and listen to them, makes them feel good and cared for to :)

jujubean-I hope it gets sorted for your mom. They do feel the chill easier but its a hard in between. Its a good question which one is worse. Does your mom have flannel sheets and pillow covers? Then shed be warmer with only a need for one blanket maybe? Good luck

Countrymouse and Veronica91- I agree!
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Juju would she drink hot chocolate instead if they would let her have that or maybe a protein drink but if coffee is all she can have maybe a protein bar along with the coffee.
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I have had it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew my food today wasn't the best, we are out of some ingredients, the onions were good but not fresh etc.. I couldn't get to the store and its generic brands. So I get blasted once again how awful I am on cooking I have to learn etc! Breakfast he rarely complains so thats good. But he likes the food particular ways and spices etc. I try.Well I told him today I refuse to cook anymore for him he will have soups and TV dinners for lunch and dinner! Or he can do one meal a day at meals on wheels in place of soup lets say.. ( lunches of course).Which he will complain about because its gonna be "bland" to him. He got so mad and yelled" your wasting money on those cant afford them, their not real food" Dont wanna pay meals on wheels.

I can deal with people not caring for my food, thats fine, Im not a cook,but to knock me down all the time.. oh dont forget all the things I do wrong. Then.. to tell all the neighbors? Really? This is so embarrassing! I do get the verbal put downs and I think besides feeling like I should put up with it because I do love him and he needs care, thats why I tried getting everything done beyond perfect before he asks! ( well still never good enough anyway) I used to jump at every little dish, every crumb, every smudge, etc but I haven't lately.. he wants to put me down and basically say Im a loser- why not act like one? Ok, thats beyond childish I know. But might as well be what he says about me right? On the other hand when my kids are acting up he feels so bad for me and I dont deserve this and he loves me so much!! I realize that no matter what I do it wont please him really.. like you all said before.

I just hope that one day all the truth comes out from my grandpa to the neighbors or that they over hear what really goes on because I really look like a loser here. Then I can sit back with relief and seeing their faces in shock that he was the one who told me not to do something then had a neighbor do it or let them do it , going back to I should of done everything and anything for him he never asks much etc...making me look bad. They already said I don't do enough. I been daydreaming about my future... making up how its going to be.. I like that version :)
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CM first thing I noticed comming to the US in 1977all the kids were indoors in T shirts when it was 10 below outside.
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Jujubean, they've all been listening to the Awful Warnings about hypothermia and don't want to take any chances. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but when you hear about the apparently benign circumstances it can suddenly and bizarrely arise from, you can see how they'd get twitchy about an elder who isn't toasty warm the whole time. Also, yes, it's easier. Also, I have observed, Young People Today seem to think it is a fundamental human right to wear a t-shirt in January and treat central heating controls accordingly.

Could you hide the surplus blankets in a cupboard somewhere??!!
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Well as we all know the elderly are always cold...and me running around keeping quality of life stable here...cannot have the heat on...so I make sure she is reasonably covered up and warm enough as one would with an infant but she insists she is still cold and wants more blankets. against my wishes my caregivers heed to her requests, constantly to not overblanket her as when I have to get her up n changed after you leave she is soaking wet in sweat....
so the question that has been posed to all of her Med proffesionals and not answered is what is better for her....to feel a little chilly when adequately covered up or to be drenched in sweat....I feel the latter Is not good cause then when I do unblanket her and she is wet/moist she does then get a real chill..could lead to pneumonia, sp?..therefore more dangerous than maintaining my way!

So am I wrong in being upset that my support staff are making their own call on this???? I think not!!!

and.....Same with the coffee.....that Is the only thing I can get her to drink without a fight and she always ask for it....no matter who I tell no coffee they do what they like....especially "in rehab facility" we already are struggling with liquid intake I need good electrolytes and plain water in her not just coffee.....and caffeine is a dehydrator so must be decaf if anything!! when challenged, nursing home says....oh she's old let her have what she wants, she deserves it...WTF....who put you in charge of my mom's health!
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