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Oh Joan Rule #1 never go off in the wilderness especially hunting alone. Rule #2 well not a rule really but more of an observation. it take far far longer to recover from something the older we get. I am still recovering from the acute diarrhea (never diagnosed) that put me in hosp for 2 weeks a year ago and led to kidney and heart failure. I have stubbonly refused a colonoscopy but finally agreed and they can't do it till Jan I made a fuss because if it is that important it needs to be done NOW.. Medicare is as bad as the VA.

Alison who has POA for Dad if parents are divorced are you next of kin.
What does he want to happen? He can certainly come home to die with hospice if not able to eat or go to N/H either with or without a feeding tube although N/H don't usually like them. Hospice is unlikely to bring him home with an IV.
I don't remember what his general health is like. Ask lots of questions.

Sharyn hope everything gets fixed OK
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Aw, thanks Jessie. I appreciate the hugs. Just got a text from G and all is well. I am getting better, but it is slow and I am over my meltdown. I have a new green salsa pork recipe in the slow cooker, so you know I am OK. But, I KNOW I have to do some things differently.

Those that survive best are flexible and make the needed changes. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Never too old to learn and change.

I worry a bit about you, Jessie. It is very easy to get lost in caregiving. At least I have G and the kids and grandkids to bring me back into the world. What changes are you looking at? Do share - we may earn something.

G does have bear stories, but that was before I met him, thankfully. :) Hugs back to you
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emjo, you're always such a rock that I know it is bad. I hope you feel better quick.

You've been doing the same pondering I am doing about how much longer and how much more can I do. It is a huge concern about where I'll be when I come out the other side of this if I don't start making some changes. It would be easy to get lost. emjo, you've done such a good job at caring for yourself while tending to things for your mother. Even when we are tough, it can wear us down. Most of the time it seems we're okay, then something hits. I guess it is telling us we need to make changes when we can't shake something off.

Big hugs coming your way. I hope G doesn't have any bear stories. Shiver. Let us know he made it back okay.
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Had a minor meltdown a couple of days ago, realizing that this can go on for some time - easily another 5 years, which would put me over the age of 80 - as mother is so physically healthy, and that I probably need to make some changes to my life, to ensure a decent quality of life for myself. I need to do whatever is necessary to see that I don't get knocked down by this infection again. That means getting more help and I don't take well to that. I am very independent, but have to learn to modify that. It is not a failure, though I tend to see to that way, but a smart thing to do for myself. It means more help with mother from her old shopper and maybe others, and more help for me in the house and other ways. I am taking in some pants to be hemmed - used to do it myself, but don't feel like it.

Some good news. My son needed a drive to the airport the other day so I had a chance to talk to him alone. I told him how I feel about the restrictions dil puts on me, and he nodded and said she is having some problems these days. A few years ago, all he said was that he had to support his wife. I mentioned that I would go to their pastor with them re resolving family problems and he thought that was a very good idea. I also told him that I was finding someone else to do my nails because of the comfort level, and he said he would tell dil at the right moment. Good enough. They actually wanted to come over and talk about something else - but he said it was dil's stuff and she could tell me if she wanted. I said I would not have a repeat of what happened before, and, if it was not inflammatory, they could come over sometime. I am very cautious as I feel she wants something from me, and right now I do not have much to give her except a wide berth. I am hopeful that son is finding his spine and standing up on his hind legs. I know he has it in him if he wants to use it and she needs to know that the world does not revolve around her.

G is off hunting - alone - his uncle couldn't go. I called him and he was in the middle of nowhere in the pitch dark, had essentially lost his way, needed water and sounded tired. He will get a good talking to from me when he gets home about looking after himself better. He found a fence line when he was on the phone, so he will find his way back and will text me when he reaches the truck. Meanwhile, I am praying for his safety. Thankfully, he does have a gun and the cell phone is working. He is getting a bit old for this.

Oldest grandson has a new job - did I mention that before - and is doing well at it. I found a few more bits of clothing for mother, so getting that done - and cm - I am keeping receipts now. She wants to go out for lunch or tea once a week so we are setting that up. SW says she even smiles at her now. The wonders of meds!!!

All in all it could be worse. Now, if I could just completely get over this infection once and for all, and make sure I don't get knocked that far down again.

Have a good night all and look after you.
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Alison, remind me, does your Dad have advance directives? If I remember he doesn't have POA's. Feeding tubes is just too hard for me to get by.
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glad - I am truly sorry about your friend, and also the person you called who was nasty. You don't need that right now. Alcoholism is a dreadful disease and it sounds like your friend is very ill indeed. Please update us when you can. (((((((hugs)))))

toxic - I am so glad that you have taken these steps and are recapturing your life. You are a good example!!! Enjoy.

Sharyn - that was courageous and the right thing to do with your parents. Good for you, and for not drinking since May. My daughter has been sober for about 20 years now. I know your recent stresses must have brought some temptations. Hope you get the electrical and dishwasher all sorted out. It is great to have a reliable company.

cm - What is he thinking? It makes me shake my head - like my sister thinking she can waltz over here and move mother to an inferior facility, and improve her life. I gather you are taking another chance at it. Ignorant - meant in the most literal way - sibs are not helpful. And thinking that he can return your mum to you, on your week off, if it does not work out. Aaaargh!!! What is his objection to the care home? When my sis used to visit mother, mother would tell me that they fight, and if it got too bad sis could just come and visit me, to get her out if mother's hair. I said "No!"

Alison - oh dear - bad enough with just your dad, but your mum now too!!!! You don't need that. You can't take care of him in his condition!!! You could refuse to bring him home on that basis. Surely the hospital will not release him until/unless the feeding issue is resolved. How much clout does your mother have other that harassing you and them. I would not think she has any if they are divorced. I would be inclined to tell her to back off - not her circus - not her monkeys. Don't let her brow beat you into anything you are not comfortable with. It sounds like your father is quite ill. Do you think you will be able to continue to look after him at home? Please do some things for yourself in the middle if this - hard I know but necessary for your health. ((((((((((hugs)))))))))

Some family developments here. Will start a new post.
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Hi, everyone. I hope the start to your week has been good?

My dad is still hospitalized. My mother has taken over in calling the hospital all the time and telling the nurses and doctors what to do. She started this last week, but there was enough for me to think about, so I just have let her go and do what she is going to do, and tried to keep myself together and my dad's spirits up. My father can't eat and my mother is accusing hospital staff of letting him starve to death, which isn't true of course, they are working on helping him, but she thinks she will get results by being harassing.

I've been too weary of all of it to even write about it. My mother takes an already stressful situation and works everyone (me) up into a frenzy. Now, because she is insisting they send him home (so that I can take care of him), I may not have a chance to get him put into a rehab. He still isn't swallowing or eating. What in the world can I do to help that if he comes home? My mother said I could get home nurses for him while he recovers. That's fine, but arranging that will take a few days I would think, and doctors are not saying what his prognosis is yet. I'm not pleased that she is, again, butting into a situation and making things so much more dramatic than need be. Nothing she says or threatens is actually going to get my father fed any sooner. It seems they simply haven't been able to get to the bottom of why he can't swallow. :-(

Anyway, it doesn't look like doctors are keen to just release him when they haven't sorted out if he will be able to eat by mouth or will require feeding tube.

Between my poor, sick, stubborn father and my intrusive, short-sighted, but well-meaning mother -- I'm quite grouchy lately. Hope everybody is well. (((((hugs)))))
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Oo.

Phone call from my brother this evening. One of those spooky ones - you're talking about somebody earlier in the day, his ears start burning (presumably), and next thing you know he's on the phone. Anyway.

It seems that they have given up the idea of finding respite care near their house and instead have decided that mother will be fine spending a week in their home.

They decided this, by the way, following a conversation SIL had with the care home where mother has stayed on three previous occasions. I have no idea what the conversation entailed. I didn't know it was happening.

So, what do you say? Brother was being very belligerent in his tone, I'd say, anticipating objections I expect. But the objections are so numerous and so obvious…

I turfed this to mother. Kept brother on the phone and passed on the invitation to her. Her face was a picture of rapidly switching emotions - wow! A week with brother. Oh. A week with SIL. But a week with brother! But who's going to be looking after her? - yup, SIL…

Decided I was being cruel and gave him her first response of "thank you very much, how nice."

Well now. What's the worst that can happen?

Brother said it would be okay, because if it turned out to be disastrous they'd bring her straight back again. Well, actually, no that is not okay because when I get a week off, I want a week off, not a week on call. But never mind that, if it turns out to be disastrous in the way I fear, namely that they drop her on her head or she gets disoriented and leaves the house, they won't be bringing her anywhere. She'll be coming back either in an ambulance or in a box.

In the end I stuck my tongue in my cheek and said to brother: "rather you than me."

Mother wants to go, is the thing. Which kind of settles the argument. And if/when she comes back absolutely shattered, with her arms bruised from SIL's vice-like grip and her legs ulcerated and her bowels all over the place… well, happy Christmas. It'll take me a month to sort her out again. This is just the *worst* idea.
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How is everyone today? Very quiet. I had an electrician out today for a possible circuit breaker issue. Our A/C and washing machine have gone out twice now in the last 6 weeks. After flipping the circuits yesterday...it did not improve...this morning both were working fine. The electrician replaced 2 breakers but said we also need to replace 2 bus bars (have no idea what those are), the work is only guaranteed for 1 year without replacing the bus bars. I do trust this company...they have been in business here since I was little...they know who my family is (kids going through school together), I know who they are. In a couple weeks we will get the bus bars replaced. Tomorrow the repairman comes back to replace the water inlet valve on our dishwasher.

Have a good day and night everyone!!
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Glad~I am so sorry about your friend. It is so hard to accept what people do to their bodies...that includes me with the drinking I was doing. I saw what it did to my dad, and look what happened to my sister. My dad never developed any permanent damage...but 2-3 different times he did get where he had to go in to the dr weekly for vitamin B shots because he was so run down. My sis ended up with diabetes diagnosed at stage 4 because she would not get blood work done...afraid the dr would figure out she was an alcoholic. She really only quit drinking because she was losing so much weight, then 6 months later she continued losing weight, was so light headed she could not function. She called me on Sept.3, 2007...I remember it so well because I was absolutely shocked at how much weight she had lost. I drove her into Stockton to Kaiser...it took all day to get all the testing done that her dr wanted. He said because of her weight loss, he suspected cancer. Sis and I discussed on the way back to her house...do you want mom to know....do you want me to tell her...we decided that I would tell my mother the truth...this was before Alz had set in. I am tearing up retelling this but it has to be said....so I drove to our mothers house and told her. We both cried together not knowing what the outcome was going to be. Lucky for my sis, (I guess lucky but her health is not good even today)...all tests were negative except for diabetes. She has not had a drink since March of 2007...it took its toll on her body and health. You would think I would have never started to drink back in 2009...but I did anyway. I have not had a drink since May 13, 2014. I don't want to get like my sis...her quality of life is not good. Blessings to you and your friend and his family.
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ToxicFM~ Congrats to you!!! Excellent advice to Me1000. I had to do a very similar thing back when my eldest child (my son) was in 1st or 2nd grade. My parents would get in horrible fights about every 3 months...my mother would drag the fights out for over a week (this went on when we sibs were growing up). The screamed and yelled, called each other every filthy name you can imagine right in front of us, hit each other..etc. Well their fights continued after we had all left home getting married. My mother would call me because my dad locked her out of the house. After the second time of this, I drove over to their house, gave m y mother my copy of their house key..told her...do not call me again. I have children to raise...one is at home waiting for me to help him with his homework...but I had to leave to come over here to rescue you...not again mom. Of course she was furious and all the same words of after all I have done for you, you turn your back on me and blah blah blah....I only said as I got in my car to leave...you married him..you deal with it..not my problem!!! My dad had his short comings...but my mother was the real problem due a personality disorder.

The point is...like you and like I did...you have to walk away or it consumes your life, your family time, your marriage and everything else in your life. It was many years before I accepted another house key from my mother.
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Hi Everyone, Thought I would stop by and say Hi. You would not believe how peaceful it has been. My phones don't ring off the hook a thousand times a day. I have not heard from dad. (I do at times, wish I knew what was going on with mom.) But I don't hear from them, but happy for it. I now have time to do things I need to do. As in going to eye dr. got new glasses. I had completely cleaned my kitchen (but then I got ants, so not at it again). Going to try and clean two major rooms (our bedroom and another bedroom) and the bathroom. I also took a 8 hr drive with a friend the other night, to get her husband that was broke down 4 hrs away. It was great, we had not had the time to visit for a long time. So we enjoy our trip, even though it was for a bad reason. (oh yea, her husband fall asleep driving, we had to get him awake and pulled over the last 45 miles home) We got home at 3am. It was great. We use to spend at least one day a week together. Had not been able to do that for a long time. Now I have extra to do that. I just started on some new meds for problems I have. When I have been taken it for awhile, I am going take up crochet once again, maybe quilting if I can. I have been sleeping a little better, not wondering if my phone is going to ring in the middle of the night. It has been so good in my house in the last so many weeks. Today my husband and I took a drive in the country. We were gone all day and did some shopping while we were out. It was wonderful, we had not did that in years. Well, it is later here. So I am going to go and get ready for bed. Night everyone
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Me1000 ~ Close to things I was doing with my dad. Every time I turned around, he wanted me or one of my family to do things for him and then complained. Then other times, he just complained to get his way with money or what he wants to do. He forgot mom was still alive and lives there. He would start fights, complained, wanted and demand everything. Well this last time, I went to the house to have mom to sign some papers, that the dr. said she could do and to set her meds up for 4 weeks. As soon as I got there, in front of a friend I had with us and my husband, he started a fight. Why he started it, He did not want mom to sign anything, because he wanted to go over her head and sign papers to sell moms natural rights to certain land. (Natural materials, as in natural gas, oil and so forth) It is not in his name, only moms. It was given to mom. If something happen to him, this was money in the pocket to take care of mom. But he wants mom to have nothing when he dies. He don't believe she should, even though for 51 years she has stand by the guy and even lived with him dating and having sex with other woman, during his heart surgeries and all. But he has nothing to do with her like that. He complains she is still alive and everything. But see, you are getting almost to the point I was at. I had to walk away from it all. I could not take the abuse any longer. (truth be told he has physically and mentally abuse me for 50 years. (have family members that will tell you so) So it was time to take my life to my own. So a few weeks ago I walked away from my whole family. This is even counting the two no for good sisters I have. It is their turn to take care of them. I have one cousin, one aunt , that I will talk to. Other then that, no one else. It is just me, my husband, our son and daughter. (kids grown) I even sent them a letter stating I was stepping down from MPOA. I will say one thing: It has been peaceful, quiet and even my phones don't ring off the hook. Today a lone, one call came in, it was our daughter. Even my cell phone is quiet. If your grandpa has other family members, tell them you are walking away and taking care of your family. Let them know it is their turn to step up to the plate and take care of grandpa. Then go off and do what you want or need to do. (spend time with your family) It is hard to do, I won't tell you it is easy. (I cried for days) But when you get a grip and take your time back in your hands, you will see you can do it. I don't even think of them much now, only when someone brings them up. Good Luck and try to enjoy the holidays that are coming up. Take care
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Social worker called me because she was given permission. When I told her to call his Dad it took another two days for him to give her permission to call hus Dad. My friend J is a very good man, very proud man, and just did not want to concern his father or admit to his illness that would not have happened had he been able to quit drinking.
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Glad I am afraid his dad and/or siblings will have to make the decisions. The SW should not even have discussed it with you I am sad to say. can you influence his Dad. Don't be upset with what his friend said it was pain talking. He can't do anything so he had to lash out
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He does not have capacity to make his own decisions now, though four weeks ago he did. Social worker told me he seemed very confused but since nobody knows him there thought it might be his normal. I had been trying for years to get him to put a POA in place, and even harder the past three years because i have come to understand how very important they are. But, he would not do it. The social worker wanted me to help figure out what to do with him. I told her to call his Dad. Now I wonder if his Dad is able to take care of it. It may fall to one of his siblings. I am not even sure that his Dad has told the rest of the family what is going on. They live 2,000 miles away.

Emjo, thank you, just so much right now. Then made the mistake of calling a life time friend of his. That did not go well, because as alcolholics do they alienate friends and family. This friend must have been quite hurt by whatever was said to him. But, he sent me an email in the night and maybe he will help. He was quite nasty to me on the phone, haven't talked with him in probably 6 years. He actually asked me "why don't you take care of him since you are already taking care of two others?". Doesn't have a clue.
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Glad I am so sorry about your friend but can only say the compassionate thing will be to let him go. Osteomyelitis is an infection of the bone and can occur in any bone.that is what happens when something like a hip replacement becomes infected. Today there are antibiotics available to treat it.50 +years ago not so much so it was more common. The other cause again 50+ years ago was TB of the spine which is again becomming a possibility with the drug resistant strains that are developing. If he is also an alcoholic by his age his liver could also be in poor shape. Add to that the kidney failure and though while dialysis can be tolerated it is also a big strain on the body. If I was the one making decisions for this patient I would tell them to take him off the ventilator not do the trach, and keep him comfortable while he passed. You don't say whether he lacks capacity to make his own decisions but as his dad questioned you it sounds as though it is the case and he was really asking for reassurance that he would be making the right decision. As he has an IV I would leave that up simply as a convenience for any medications. Bless you for being concerned Glad. I know it broke into your quiet W/E but your input is valuable for his Dad
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You have a lot on your plate right now. Hope you get a bit of a break since you are away. It must be starting to feel jinxed.
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Yea court hearing on the 27th. Geez! Spent two days printing email for exhibits. Three, 3-ring notebooks of documents i sent to conservator, emails from TS's, living trust, amendment to trust, POA's, etc.
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My goodness, glad. He is in pretty bad shape - a wreck really. You must be having some mixed feelings about what is happening. He and the house - both wrecks.

And you have the court hearing coming up. (((((((((hugs)))))))
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He is an alcoholic. Another thing his Dad told me is that he has an abcess on his spine. Looked that up, less than 100 of them in medical records. But tend to happen with osteomyelitis.
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glad - that is terrible. How did he get in such bad shape by that young an age? Sorry your quiet weekend has been wrecked. It never ends does it? You just get a break and something else comes up.

Sharyn - good luck with finding the right pooch. Matt was thoroughbred - he had his papers. I saw an ad in the paper for a give away. They had young children and something had happened, so he was afraid of them and it just wasn't working. He was 2 yrs old and tolerated the cats well. I miss him. Eating an anti-inflammatory diet is not hard - just requires knowing what to eat and not to eat and a little planning. After a while it becomes a habit. Legumes - peas, beans, lentils are good - and make a very healthy meal - chili, soup etc. I make big batches and freeze them.

me - sorry things are continuing as they were. I see that g'pa holds him supporting you and the kids over your head. He sounds like a bully. Bad mouthing you to neighbours isn't doing your self esteem any good. Glad your dad got through surgery OK. I hope you will get to the dr soon to look into that problem you have. Being dependent on someone else for your care is hard, especially when they use it against you.

austn - blue cheese - yum, though I can't have it now.

juju -hoping your new plans work out as you want them too, You could use a break.

linda - it really does make a difference. I had a girlfriend with bad arthritis and who was very overweight. She ate all the wrong things and got worse and worse. She was 6 months younger than me and pretty disabled - needed a walker. She needed more and more meds and lived in pain. I am convinced if she has eaten properly she would not have been so bad. Unfortunately she was killed in an auto accident last Christmas.

Margeaux - walking really does help doesn't it? I don't always eat what G eats though he has pretty healthy tastes. I concentrate on what I feel is good for me.

Alison - how is your dad and his kidneys and bladder? Have they looked into what caused him not to be able to speak properly? My father has small strokes from which he would recover, but over time they took a toll. It is important stay hydrated as you get older, It helps to prevent strokes. The docs should know that he was like that. I think looking into more care for him is a good idea. Look after yourself in all of this too.

cmag, countrymouse, veronica, everyone - hi

I have not heard any more from my son about meeting with them and will let it go for now. Having said that I would contact them, I will, but am in no hurry as I am still not up to par. If he contacts me, I have my answer ready.

Have a good weekend everyone and do something good for you.
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He is only 54.
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Solitary weekend?! Nothing to think about?! Last time I was here, MIL passed away. Today I get a call from friend's Dad, he had a call from the hospital. Remember, friend was found collapsed by his truck on the highway? He has been in the hospital for four weeks, plus now. He has been in ICU for 10 days, on a ventilator. Docs want to remove him from ventilator, and trach him, move him to a nursing home and will then need to have dialysis. They think he is in renal failure. Dad wanted to know if I knew what friend would want. I think he would want to be let go. Doc's also said he is in altered mental state. I think it is the end for him, depending on how long his family lets him go on.

May never come for a quiet weekend in the mountains again.
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Veronica~Thank you..I had not thought of that. The dog breeding scene is a racket. I called a # today...the area code was 916...here in Cali..that is Sacramento...an area I am willing to travel to...1 hour away...but the # ended up being in Missouri. They wanted over 2K for a female puppy saying the flight was only $85. I would not be able to introduce her to my Midget...they may be the show me state...but what are you showing me??? I am paying for a 10 year health GARANTEE on the dog for not inbreeding,,,I can make that up online myself..really???

Yes, I check out craigslist, Thank You!!
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Sharyn have you thought of putting a want ad in the paper or on Craigs list offering a good home to a Boxer. Craigs list is free if you haven't used it and there are always lots of dogs needing homes.
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Hubs and I went to Look at Roxie...a boxer in a local shelter. OMG...the poor dog was used only for breeding, left in the backyard (Boxers cannot take high heat or extreme cold), when they were done with her, they just tossed her out!!!

She is so timid, she wouldn't even come out of her igloo house to greet us. We decided she would be better off with a family with no other pets so she can get all the love and attention to nurture her personality. I couldn't help but tear up when they told us her story. It brings on a rant but I won't go there but it is about people...how they treat innocent children and animals.

I am making pumpkin soup with coconut milk, cayenne, onions, celery...etc plus we are having Salmon with a mango/avocado salsa. Cooking always makes me happy and love to do it...it does take up a big part of the day..but will have pumpkin soup for either lunch or when I get home from work.
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Me1000~First you need to not take what your grandfather say as so personal...he is going to complain even if he had Mother Theresa attending to him. Secondly, you must stop the cycle of trying to please him, wanting his approval and being available. It is really easy once you accept the situation. You make yourself available and you are treated badly, talked badly about...so STOP doing these things for your grandfather. FOCUS on your children and your life with them. You have more power than you realize...just use it...common sense...Stop allowing yourself to be abused verbally, STOP allowing yourself to be a slave for family members who DO NOT RESPECT YOU. It is that easy!!!
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Veronica91- I know Im so tired of this! My dad is usually ok to deal with, but because their fighting he cant go fix anything for grandpa( both their choices) My grandpa pays the bills, not married( thank god- couldn't deal with issues of a relationship ) I do say no and its world war 3 and yes, because he owns my the home I live in and pays the bills, its like do this or your out cuz look at all I do( I agree, he has gone over and beyond for us and words even actions cant repay him-but.. still theres got to be a line)

Countrymouse- Ya, I reread it, I make no sense! Im so upset! I agree let the people he hired to paint do it! Well my plans are now canceled and I told him that and he sarcastically said" oh go- even though I canceled them!


***Plus, I even hate climbing on ladders yes 3 steps is to high and I have the dropsies, is why I prefer to use and wash plastics! Or metal... Add I had plans!
Plus he brought up money, money, money again. I been walking in holy clothes( ok a teen it was cool) but adult obese mom trying to get a job, with holes around the "chest area" and all over not good. So I asked for clothes and he did buy also for my kids but oh Im not hearing the end of it!!! ( Medical bills were high for everyone incl him but me(- I dont go) this month and non stop how we went through money etc. Yes add a few splurge monies for Halloween costume which was actually reg clothes for daughter and a field trip for son,books for son he reminds us constantly. I feel bad and guilty and told him and he blew saying when I say that it makes him to be an as$.

Oh add I went to try to feed him again because he refused lunch and the neighbor warmed up a tv dinner and a drink because apparently I dont do it!!! Just as he told her I didnt make him breakfast on Friday but I did, hash browns and eggs with cheese and she to my face said" since he didnt eat Im getting him breakfast tacos" I told her he ate!! Of course if hes hungry again, yes, more food any he wants!! But telling people he didn't eat when he did what the? He really paints it bad about me and thats why all the neighbors hate me ( all but two houses) .
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Me1000, the point where I lost the thread was where your grandpa told you what you're doing in the morning.

Sorry, since when does he decide what you're doing on a given morning? If he needs the room cleared for decorating on Monday, fair enough; but where is it written in the home decorator's manual that the room has to be cleared by you? He needs to find a volunteer. You're busy.
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