
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
Hugs
There is a way to report this and Facebook wants it's users to. I did a google search for "Facebook report send money scam" and the fifth item that came up is the request for reports of this sort of activity. It is important to make these reports because who knows how many others she has duped and other people she will try to do this to.
It is wonderful that you think you have this worked out. Do you think that he will not do this again? I still think counseling is in order. Or maybe a chat with an attorney would be wise as hubs could hear from someone else how expensive and dangerous this sort of activity can become. Maybe Facebook even has some counseling on its site why this activity is not appropriate.
Tomorrow, I work 9-3...when my hubs gets home from work, we are going to verizon to get our upgraded phones and change our numbers. This should stop her from any further contact. You all have no idea how tempted I am to text her to say you are nothing but a scamming sl&T. I want to tell you all who have fb who she is but I wont. She is 33 years old....I told my hubs...not to degrade you, but anyone that much younger than you...is usually looking for money.
I am not able to locate how to inform face book about her scam, not the they will do anything since her account is not against their standards, but she is definitely a scammer.
I am feeling better than I was this morning,,,my mind was reeling, not being clear headed and was seriously considering moving to Idaho. I haven't been able to eat much for almost a week now. I think from what my hubs told hold me tonight, I am getting a clear picture and can move forward now.
As for writing your life story i think it would be an excellent idea even if it is just a journal for yourself. Writing has a great way of relieving tension and taking your mind off what is going on around you. So what if it is nonsence when you go back after the battle is won you will understand just what you were trying to say.
gladimhere- Ive heard of that but idk about for kids? I want them with me but they need help, we all do for everyone.
jujubean- I know its hard to even think Id have to do this. His PED said dont as well as his neurologist.. uggh. But yes I have about 30 seconds of clips of him screaming and breaking things but not the ILL kill you part. When he sees the phone he jumps at me to get it to break it. But, I need to have a hidden cam for a 48 hr period on pills and not to see difference etc!!! Good idea!
Margeaux- I know its so hard, your right, with everything going on I do feel defeated!
kaazzaa- I been reading too and feel bad for everyone but Im at such a low right now -I dont want to say the wrong things to anyone. Im so lost its crazy.. keep saine? Ha!!! I feel like a robot but whos circuits are about to blow up in flames...
Omg!!! Yes I feel as if I have to video record every single last second of my life and broadcast to the world to have proof how my life is!!! But then I feel they will find fault in the truth or say it was edited!!!!!! My mind has been so screwed up which has gotten worse over the years. Does it makes sense that a part of me stayed obese( I am a stress eater tho) also because it helped guys stay awy from me ( except a few chubby chasers) because mentally and physically I no longer wanted to be with anyone and no one believed me so I used the fat excuse and they bought it!!!
Its hard to believe my life is the way it is, the things I been through, friends or so called believed the hotty girls or my exes or other friends over me for certain things just because? Then I get this family stuff going on and its so hard. Im sick and tired of having to prove my intentions, my GOOD intentions! Sure I made mistakes, but I never thought I was that bad...maybe we are related!!! I used to write and would like to write about my life and other things but once again I was told my writing made no sense( ok, well I dont makes sense even on here true)
I love you all and wish you all so much peace and health. Thank you all and when I can Ill strart responding to your alls posts too. Your not forgotten and im not trying to be greedy just need to be in a calm place before I can attempt to advice!! But Im here and struggling with you all , besides you all
Are either or both of you children adopted? Possibly from an Eastern European country. Your son definitely sounds as though he needs to be institutionalized so this can all be sorted out and any necessary medications started. He really could hurt you.
Grounding is not the answer here. How is his school work? does he cause trouble in school, get into fights, hang with a bad crowd? Is he into drugs? In a gang? does he use drugs? steal from you? does he cause damage in the home? Put his fist through walls. You certainly can call the police on him and they will transport him for a psychiatric evaluation. With your daughter she can't "refuse' to go to school. call the school and speak to one of the guidence councillors. Take away her toys and if she becomes uncontrolable call the police on her too. You are the adult and parent here..don't be bullied by these kids. Don't physically fight with them walk away and call for help. They both need treatment not grounding. Where is their father?
As for grandpa. Don't tolerate his crap either. no one has to be a gourmet cook. Put the food on the table and if he starts to complain pick up your plate and go eat somewhere else. You are worth more than this, you are not an indentured servant. you do have powers so go find your big girl panties. We are all here for you. I am trying to be helpful not cruel.
" good" explanation. "It was a loan for the downpayment on her car so she can get to work or to pay for her son's orthodontist. Look she has already made a payment" Sure she will make the first one that is just her way of priming the pump to ask for more. I may be a nasty suspicious old lady but 'fool me once, shame on you fool me twice shame on me"
I do actually agree with Margerau that it is easy to give advice when your own pain is in the past. Believe me I am not trusting and complacent. I keep a very good eye on everything. It seems as though there has never been financial trust between the two of you and this definitely needs to change. Some one I know filed for divorce and hubby immediately ran up all kinds of credit card debt. After the divorce he filed bankruptcy and she ended up having to pay his debts. I know this sounds sneaky on your part but in your shoes I would have a secret bank account just in case you need to get out. Either use a post office box ot have the statement sent to a trusted friend or family member. You may also want to consult a lawyer at this point. he may look sorry but what is he sorry for decieving you or getting caught?
Thanks for asking. I'm doing ok. My psychiatrist removed abilify from my banquet of meds. She thinks that my previous psychiatrist overmedicated me with abilify. I have a little more energy, but not as much as I need to get more things done.
My dad's dementia continues to worsen as his long term memory is starting to go. My family and I will be visiting with him in October.
The first year anniversary of my mother's death on October 4 is only a few days away. He death still seems to be a long time ago.
Well, you did what you had to do, even if you are sorry that it got to this level.
Your poor kitty! Yes, they're like children they do suffer when the sh*t hits the fan.
Give him some extra strokes, and try a little if at best to detach from some of this.
You need to pay attention to yourself in all of this. Now that you've contracted the proper offices, let them handle it.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Welcome to the thread.
I'm really sorry you are in the situation you are in.
I'm no expert in this area, however do you think maybe if you sought out an elder law attorney, maybe they could point you in the right direction. You may even try Department of Social Services.
I feel like you are at the end of your rope. At least the way you've expressed everything it really sounds as if you are more than ready to take some action.
Do come back and share with us, it does help. I'm very glad that you found this thread.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Hope you get this sorted. I dont know how you keep saine?
Hugs and hope as suggested ER may be the answer? what an awful situation to be in i really feel for you!
Family honestly? who needs them! Its hard to explain your dysfunctional family to friends and strangers some just cant believe it?
Oh i may write a book since coming here family are just capable of anything hard to believe we have same blood?
How are you?
Very good advice!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Margeaux
Stop listening to your grandfather.
It can be understood why you feel so defeated.
But you do have to do something about your son's threats of violence.
I would hate to think who he may hurt in your household, then what??
Take car of business as a mother, and your grandfather's needs aren't a good reason not!
Find the courage,
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Mum went to her doc as i rang after! doc is now refusing to speak to me as she told him not to? doc says shes fine was told this by receptionist? told her ok but im getting SS involved then and she said yes i think youre right?
Finally after a wk got hold of SS and she will call to see mum ive told her i can do no more so they need to get involved now.
I took my cat which wasnt easy he cried for two hours which hurt like hell but he seems ok now and sleeping. I will keep him in for a few days!
went to house and its a mess hasnt been cleaned since i left SO mums back to living like a baglady and brother cant seem to see this is NOT NORMAL?
Im ok am angry as h*ll but now SS are invloved i can do no more! its hard to beleive its come to this but something had to give.
I am coming down but its not easy and will take time. Mums birthday and christmas coming so i just have to stay away.
Hugs to all
Also "maybe" just for the sake of helping if you can without causing problem or safety issue, record an outburst,cell phone/etc..not sure bout that just an idea ???!
Grandpa says get rid of them, grandpas demands andp ut downs are still the same.. I will never be a great cook even though I follow recipes, Im ok but thats it, sometimes I mess up the food but oh well.. well all is the same otherwise.. the usual my wonderful amazing life. Amazing how hated I am from my family and apparently my kids...
I completely understand the fact that you would want to know the whole truth. It's easy for people to suggest that you not push it any further, however you are now feeling the first emotion after the shock and hurt. Besides, even if people say they are sorry about the way they handled their own situations.....it's easy to hand out advice, because for them it's now in their pasts. I feel that when it's fresh as in your case, there is still what I would call the reasonable time frame, now, for you to find out these initial facts about the damage he's done, and it is for you to move forward. Your own reasons for doing this, as far as I can see are solid. Do what you have to do.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux