
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I deserve it, more then anyone else in this family. So I am trying to figure out how to relinquish MPOA of mom (dementia). I can not take it any longer. My family is not dysfunctional. My family is straight Toxic.
The reason I want to know if he used his debit/credit card to wire Kate money, is because it changes the stakes in this marriage....meaning he is more involved that I realized and I have to know that for my future. It means that he most likely will continue to be doing things behind my back.
In order for me to move forward, I must have the entire truth behind this whole affair. It is not that I am digging for more evidence that he has other women besides Kate or that he is continuing to communicate with Kate. My hubs is too frugal to buy me a gift, besides...he has his own credit card with Sears that is not associated with our joint account that I have no way knowing what he uses it for...that in itself is fine...he applied for this card some years back when we bought a new washer and dryer.
I use my paycheck to pay my car payment, my LTC policy payment and for personal maintenance like hair cuts, clothes, makeup, gifts and other things that involve home, marriage and family. This is what my accountants are used for..sometimes I buy lunch or dinner not only for myself but for him as well. I have taken him out for dinner on his birthday and paid for dinner at Red Lobster. I paid for 90% of the cost of our daughter's baby shower back in May.
Sorry, I am ranting but I feel I have been treated badly by him in different ways and this is the icing on the cake for me. I am owed the whole truth. I guess my anger is starting to take over the pain I have been feeling.
HAAH! I tell you if that were possible, I'd get one tomorrow!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Sharyn, out of everyone here I probably would have the least idea about how you felt about this incident but I can imagine it hurts quite a bit. I wish you much love and understanding to move past it all. 💜
Emjo, the "think about what you want your life to be like in 5 years" advice was really good stuff, thank you. Putting it in that mind frame has helped lessen some of my immediate panic about how WRONG everything is at the moment and realize that there's no reason that I can't find ways to improve my quality of life and I know the small steps will lead to the bigger changes. It's hard for me to explain, but that bit of advice was very on point for me and where I'm at. Thank you.
Me1000, you have so much on your plate and it makes sense that you aren't functioning very well, that you aren't feeling good, or sleeping good. I wish I had advice. I do think that doing some slow yoga or meditation or deep breathing every day would be helpful. I don't know if you can get out of the house for a walk around the block every day, but that would be helpful, too. Just remember to let everything go and gently keep your focus on your meditation or breathing so that you get a soothing mental break each day from the constant chaos.
My dad missed 2 days of medications this past week. I check his pill box about once a week, but generally trust him to be taking his meds daily if they're in the pill minder box. I spoke to him about the missed days and he wasn't aware that he had missed any even though I showed him that Saturday's entire morning/evening dose was still in the box and it's now Monday. I also covertly took a picture of the pill box and date and am going to add this to my file of things to present to doctor/psych so that I can try to get him evaluated for mental disability or early dementia... something.
I made a new friend recently - a male friend. He's really sweet and creative and interesting, and we have a lot of similar interests. I've decided that "dating" is off the menu for me right now, but getting any amount of positivity and means of emotional support in my life would be most welcome. He also grew up and has spent his entire 43 years of life living in the city of Chicago and I would like his help trying to see if Chicago would be a good fit for me long term. There are people that really love this city, and he is one of them, but I have yet to figure out why this gray, crowded, crime-ridden city is that great. 😉 I would like to make a decision within the next couple of months one way or another about putting roots down in Chicago.
(((Hugs))) to all. Hope everyone is well. 🌺
P.s. I figured out that the emoticon/emoji symbols for Facebook will work on here, too. You don't have to have a Facebook account to access them, just Google "Facebook emoticons" and there are multiple independent sites that have them, if you ever want to use them. I personally think they're rather cute.
Definitely if one needs, or their circumstances are such that you spend a lot of time at home, and you want to be connected that's different. I had a friend some years ago who was blind, and she is of the third age, so didn't grow up w/computers.
She relied heavily as you can imagine on social network, and just about anything that could assist her. So there are benefits. She became quite saavy at it, too.
Something I should do, and honestly I think this is also why people many times
get their privacy hacked, because they don't understand enough about protection.
I'm glad I made you laugh. Yes, we should get Rosie down here.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Margeaux - You are tooo funny, I nearly spit my coffee! We need Rosie, from the Jetsons!
I had to have a smartphone, just to have options away from home, like googling directions or info for errands / unexpected needs etc...or sitting in dr office, play games, watch movie etc....but that is all I can do with it, besides alarm and calendar! It is amazing what could be done with them these days!!!
I will be checking out that" startpage", Thx!
Have a good day all!
Peace, Juju!
Oh, I re-read your post, you're buying online.
Well, yes if you buy online, they definitely get ahold of your information
in that manner.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I don't have an account, nor will I ever!
It's bad enough some of the very same invasions of privacy happen on
some email accounts. Plus, we live in a world where people have lost their own sensibility about "sharing." I receive things from a professional site, for corporate people who want to connect. But when I've received these notices via my email,
they also ask whether you know the person. I dare not click on any of these,
just delete them. My husband who is way more connected via FB, although he too in the last three years, decided to make settings as private as possible get's on my case since he thinks I'm still living in another century, (e.g., he has an IPhone, I just have a basic phone, one still has to open up). Hey, but it works for me, and I'm just not ooed and awed about the latest thing a new phone app, can do. Surely, if I really, really felt like I needed to have something like this, say for a business I ran, etc., which I don't, that be a different story! If they create a phone that can make dinner, then maybe I'll consider investing in one. HAAH!
Veronica,
You know those barcodes are probably entering information about what you've bought, and then if you pay with a credit card, well there it is. That's how they track you that way.
There's a search engine that does not record your searches on the computer,
which is called, "Startpage." Check it out.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Given the range of topics we're discussing on the forum alone, though, my goodness they must be so confused about who on earth we all are..!
*****No my last post here really was meant just as a thank you to all of you and well wishes. But in all honesty, im not ok and Im just in a lot of pain and burnt out ( along with my burnt grilled cheeses this afternoon so everyone just got the side dishes) Everything is the same old but worse in some senses- so no sense in reposting it all, you all read it all. I dont know whats forcing me to be able to semi function- I do think depression besides exhaustion has hit. I mean I get sleep not quality sleep and sometimes when I do get good sleep its after 3 days of not sleeping well in the first place and then I just am out.
I try to come "out of it" but go right back "in " to it. I know I dont do as much as I should and others do more then I do even if they had the exact same situation, but for me, two kids with mental issues,one ill ederly who I get put down most the time, one ill senior, two houses, pets, most family and neighbors give me hell every few minutes Im needed day or night, Im just at a loss.
Pam-you made me laugh...I needed that. I still feel like the wind has been knocked out of me...not really angry as much as just the sadness.
Hugs!