notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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Happy!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Wow, my question is......how much clothes does your mother need?
I remember you writing that you'd sent other clothes in the not too distant past.
Of course, if your sister sent something so transparent, what is she thinking.
That story about she showing up at your house, and your sons seeing her in something like that.....what was she thinking!!
My sister's daughter (tremendously overweight), puts on these outfits that leave nothing to the imagination, at times. I mean do these people also realize, that maybe some of us would rather not see certain body parts? This says a lot about their egos.
Glad to hear you're feeling better. I guess those carbs make us feel sluggish.
O.K., Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
King Soopers will not do the injection without a doctor's prescription unless you are 60. Confusing, you bet.
I asked at the pharmacy when I was just there that they need a doctor's prescription to give shingles shot if a person is under 50. Over 50, a prescription is not needed. I was very concerned about this last year, but thought you COULD NOT get it until 60. I just do not understand the different information out there. How in the world is anyone supposed to know what is or is not allowed. I will be getting shingles shot this weekend.
Book and Joan~It must be frustrating when you can't order from certain countries. Book, you have some sibs here in the mainland that hopefully will help you with that issue.
Alison~Happy to hear your depression is gone. You will know what direction to take when the time comes.
Got everything squared away with my mom re her scripts so all is good there. My sweet son sent an email to us with a slide show he put together of all the pics we sent him via cell phone....from the baby shower to the baby pics from the last 1 1/2 weeks. He is so good about doing things like that for us and without asking.
Gonna keep this short as possible and then taking a break as my arm is very sore/achy from shingles. Taking Valtrex and Prednisone. Got flu shot but can't get pneumonia shot again until I'm 65. Can;t get Shingles until 60.
Have a good weekend..enjoy some fresh air!!
Today I had a great time in a seaside town in Massachusetts: I presented one of my movies to a retirement home, had a great time entertaining people, they enjoyed the show and I had plenty of time to walk around town and eat out. Lovely day. I am slowly feeling more and more happy. The last 3 years of stress will eventually recede.
You know I don't mean it!
Wouldn't Jenners send nighties? Last I heard they'd really got techie with their mail order (not that we ever bother them because you can't expect them to deliver a quarter pound of Edinburgh rock 450 miles away). Otherwise I'm pretty sure the White Company does ship overseas; also Bonsoir (if your mother has money to burn, but their stuff is gorgeous). If you get stuck and I can help, let me know.
Oh crumbs have to go. Hugs to all
Last night at work I was filtering the fryer and having some complications due my own fault of putting it together wrong so I had to bail the hot oil out from the bottom and then put it together right so it would filter the oil up to the top. All morning I have been busy with things here in the house. When I got in my car driving with my right arm folded...I noticed a burning sensation. I looked at my arm and right on the outside of the bend/elbow I see a red area...I touch it and it is rough and bumpy.I have another very small area on my forearm...I am feeling the burning sensation now even in the house...am wondering how I didn't feel a burn last night after working with the fryer and it only shows up today? I am going to watch this...the rough/bumpy appearance is making me think shingles??
In March this year he was in a horrific car accident that nearly took his life. He is now a paraplegic. During his lengthy recovery, his heart softened and he reached out to family and several siblings visited him. Then he went back to his old ways. Just last week he offered our very ill and elderly mom financial help because she needs part-time care, then he revoked the offer. I was so furious I called him and asked why. He avoided the question and then said he wanted more contribution from other siblings. I told him I was ashamed and embarrassed of him. On Tuesday I sent him a text message and told him not to use money to wield power and control over people, especially family. I think he was tired of the pestering and gave in as he called my mom that evening and said he would pay the care-giver directly.
I believe my brother is sociopathic and if that's the case, he will never change and this situation is beyond comprehension, who would ever believe a person could be so evil?
I hope everyone stays as healthy and as well as possible. Life is so much better when you're not ill or feeling run down. Please take good care of yourselves. Happy Thursday!
Emjo, no plan. This is thee problem. I need to come up with one but I'm stalled out at the moment. I'm trying not to get too frustrated with myself or my dad, not seeking to "blame" anyone or anything, just want to get moving in a (as yet unknown) direction. :-)
I'm reading on here and if anything actually happens, I'd love to share on here, but right now there's very little besides everyday mundane stuff happening. I even cancelled all my father's upcoming non-critical medical appointments, did I mention that? I'm just not at all convinced that the new PCP/clinic doesn't see him as a cash cow. The amount of appointments ordered for him were at the rate of about 1 per week for the past few months, but not many of those appointments were justified, I felt. So I have them cancelled/postponed for now (keeping important ones, of course) and talked to my dad about why I cancelled them.
No one gave me a rule book for this crazy life. But I'm fine, if more than a little lazy and non-productive past month. Oh, well. Hugs to all!
Emjo, how you struggle to order things from the US to send to Canada is the same as me trying to order things from the US or China or Hong Kong. They always exclude us. When I was looking for hospital gowns for mom, the ones found here on island are for Big people. Most of the islanders tend to be big. Mom was small. So, I ended up having to order it online. The small was still big but at least it wasn't a tent like the ones I bought here. Sorry that your health is still not up to par.
Joan~My daughter is doing much better the last 4 days...no heart palpitations or shortness of breath, her bp is still high but dr's aren't worried. Her hubs is so attentive, he stayed with her in the hospital the entire time. The dr said if she is up to driving the car, she can...her hubs says to wait at least 2 weeks post op, LOL!! She does worry about the boys being most fussy during the night shift for her hubs. He was hesitant on having children but did agree...so dd feels he made a big sacrifice with twins...he is handling it well so unfounded guilt for her to work through. Of course I can't get info updates from her on the boys...I just wish I could hold and cuddle them daily!!! Aww...a handsome redhead...that is great for your friend. I get to post 1 pic of boys on fb on my profile page...both have dark hair and a good amount...of course my hubs family is claiming both boys have this and that from the "W" side, LOL!!
I received a call from the facility tonight while at work. The med tech told me to please not get anymore refills from Rite Aid for Spiriva???? The Lexapro is the only med we got from Rite Aid. I think she confused patients but will go to Rite Aid tomorrow to ask if they have been refilling scripts for Spirvia..If they are...who the heck is picking them up? The med tech sounded frustrated about this but I do think she called me in error.
Hubs came home from work early yesterday (before I had to leave for work)...his bs dropped into the 60's. First time that has happened. He got it back up after eating, but had a bad headache. He doesn't know what brought it on...he is watching what he eats since his dr referred him to an endocrinologist. Maybe just an adjustment period. Or maybe too much insulin and will need to readjust it.
A long winded post but not unusual for me, LOL!!! I can't wait to get my eye examine and new glasses...this old pair has limitations. Just waiting for an autumn cool down here...still in the 90's...UGH!!! Take care everyone!!
Sharyn I was wondering how your daughter was doing. She had quite a blood loss and then looking after twins is a lot of work. I imagine she and her hubs will be very tired for quite a while - which is pretty normal. My friend who recently moved to another city just became a grandma - took possession of their new to them house and became a grandma on the same day. She has a handsome red headed - just like his dad - grandson. Love babies!
Went to go through textiles from my house. Cleaning bill was going to be over $9,000.00. So, I decided to really weed out, simplify, downsize, etc. Ended up getting rid of about 80% of what was there. The insurance company will pay me the difference based on remaining inventory. Best things I found today were Halloween costumes I had made for my kids when they were small. Then favorite of all time are two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes I made for my two youngest. Those two were practically joined at the hip. Pleasant memories.
Took about two hours to go through the stuff. Ten minute later on the way home I receive a call from Mom's day program. She was in excruciating pain. OK, mom had the intestinal blockage several months ago, that must be it, I thought. Took her to ER, CT scan of belly, wait 1.5 hours for result. This woman/mom of mine that has had chronic diarrhea all my life, is CONSTIPATED?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! Who the heck knows any more! So they got her flushed out and brought her home. And naturally the entire four hours we were there, she just does not understand why she is there and she feels fine...
Oh and L was here at home, cannot leave him for more than an hour or two. Had a neighbor, that I would not want to be without come over while I was working with textiles. Didn't know I would have to fit a hospital trip in there too. So called agency caregiver to come help L with dinner. She is another person I could not do without. Got home about 5:30, caregiver had supper with L while I got Mom in the tub. After all hair day is tomorrow. All quiet. Until..
My daughter called, someone had tried to pick her seven year old daughter up this afternoon. She is in a track club after school and didn't think anybody was picking her up. She told the person she didn't need a ride, then ran and hid. Daughter found her somehow, and was on the way to the police station when she called me. What in the heck?! Coaches of grade school age kids don't check that the children have rides home?!! My daughter coaches high school track and cross country and she stays to make sure her athletes are picked up by parents or other designee. And the elementary coaches don't do the same?! And it is about a 3 mile walk from the school to home, in this somewhat rural area!
The last pushed me over the edge. Just too much for one day. Hospital with mom and TS's only send a text saying thanks for updates?! Just spiffy! At least guardian got the messages too. It is a fairly normal reaction from dear, sweet sissies!
I have had enough for one day thank you very much.
I am glad I am 60 miles away from my house. Asked my son to go by there today to check progress. All carpet is out, walls and ceilings down to studs, so looking much better than it did two weeks ago. I am now starting to think about shopping for new bathroom fixtures, sheets, towels, etc. Would really like to find a couple of recently priced class foot tubs for two bathrooms. Would really like to try to do it nicely and somewhat authentic to the early 1900's. That will be the fun part.
Nighty night.
My, what lives we have had and are still having in our dysfunctional families. They have a talent for making difficult things more difficult.
cm - hope your mother is OK from the fall. That is another thing that will never take my mother. She probably has better balance than I do.
kaz - glad to see you post and that you are OK and starting to unwind. I know it takes a while. Hope that you get some info from the docs.
me - I see you getting closer and closer to the end of your tether. Prayers for good decisions.
hi to the newbies - needy people - Oh, dear. That is very much part of the scene and so draining.
The SW called yesterday and my sister sent nighties for mother They are such thin cotton (cotton lawn) they are see-through. The SW asked if I could find some others or a dressing gown. I do wish they had asked for these things before I put mother's stuff in storage. Sis never sent mother anything like that before. She has sent mother many nighties and all good quality cotton. Sis wore something like that when she last visited me, (many years ago) and it was see-through, so I know what the SW means. I had two teenage sons in the house at the time and was shocked. I took one of my dressing gowns and handed it to her and told her to wear it as she couldn't wear see-through in front of my boys. Aaargh!. So, after a long chat with the SW, I spent hours on the internet looking for the nighties that I know mother would wear. There are some in the US, but they do not ship to Canada. There are lots that I think are fine but I know mother won't wear them. Finally found some but couldn't order online from Canada so have to call them. I ordered some tops for mother that the SW recommended, but, on reflection, I doubt she will wear them either, but it is done now. I think a store here has some that are better, now as the winter clothing has come in. When she leaves the hospital I will gather the clothing that she isn't wearing that I have bought her and donate it to a thrift shop. I am sure there will be quite a lot.
Flurries of activity with G home all week and bigwig meetings going on. He multitasks at a pace and works from home at times. I help him with some presentation stuff, as I did years of that teaching and enjoy it, and also some invoicing for his side line. He bounces work situations off me and sometimes I have useful input. But, nowadays it makes my head spin a bit and I have to be sure to eat and sleep when I need to. That is one thing that still remains from this infection - when I need to eat I need to eat. I have gone on a restricted carb diet which should get my metabolism sorted out.
We didn't have snow here though many places south did. Today it is lovely. In a couple of weeks, I am going with G to his meeting in the east and have asked that we stay another few days and see the fall colouring. I haven't seen it in years and it is on my bucket list.
Nearly got the insurance stuff sorted out, I am asking how much it will affect my premiums and have also put in a claim to the city as it was their problem.
Glad - how is your home disaster? I hope your insurance company is better than mine.
Talking about clearing things out as a few of us have been doing, I have started and have a pile of stuff for my son and dil's church garage sale. I know there is more, but may not get at it in time. I will get my oldest grandson over to help cart stuff from the garage back into the basement and to clean out my frig. he does a decent job of that and can use the extra money.
Re recovering from the stress caused by things are getting worse and worse before someone will act to help our parent, it takes a while. I find that it doesn't take much to get me back into the stress mode, but that is improving. I suppose it is the learned response of a lifetime. I feel a greater and greater emotional distance from mother which is good for me and I doubt makes much difference for her. The narcissist will always find another "victim". I read somewhere and wish I had kept it, something about us not living our parents lives for them. I see a lot of that on here, where the offspring is, in my view, too attached to their parent in an unhealthy way, worry too much about them and so one. Been there, done that, and learning not too. Mother was handed her lot in life, as all of us are, and she made her choices. It is not my role to suffer the consequences of her choices - not my circus, not my monkeys. Detached compassion is good, enmeshed dependence isn't. My two cents for today.
Hi to everyone I have missed - alison - let us know the plan you are devising, fligirl, hope sis really is helpful. book - are you looking after you, 50s child - no one booted you off. Do come back regularly if it helps. I keep wondering how sad one is. Loo - distance seems to be working for you. Whoever I have missed - not intentional, ((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to all and look after you.