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Michele, I also was investigated due to false allegations reported to Adult Protective Services by the two darling b$#%=es i refer to above. That was nearly two years ago now. The case was opened and closed very quickly. I have now been my Mom's 24/7/365 caregiver for more than three years.

When siblings do this it is often to justify their behavior so their level of guilt is decreased. If you think about it I think when sibs do this they hope that a problem is found, then they can say they did everything they could possibly do to keep parents safe. Now they can relieve their guilt since calling APS was an effort to help, or correct a situation that they think is inappropriate, unsafe or any number of other possible things.
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Michele, your sister is a twerp. Sounds like the reports got opened and shut pretty promptly? So that's something; but how she has the nerve to start second-guessing like that… you just shake your head in wonder.
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I am one of 5 and am the sole caregiver....except when there is a complaint about something not being done right. I have taken care of my mom for over 10 years along with my husband and no one else's help and would do it again in a heartbeat! In May I had to make one of the hardest decisions of putting her in a secured dementia unit, after asking for help from other family and being told too busy can't. I am Poa and my sister is very upset that she has no say in anything we do not speak to each other anymore, so she called Dept of Welfare on the assit living faclities and gave false reports and they as well as myself were looked into . She claims it was not her however the women from DPW gave me her name go figure! There is never a dull moment in caregiving, you just have to try and stay strong for the person who are taking care of!
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Glad, freestyle cursing exceptionally good for the blood pressure, I often find! Good to hear you let off some steam :) xxx
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Sharyn, wonderful! Hope all do well through the delivery!

Now on to my rant. Went down to my house today to tag things to be thrown out. I am looking at it as downsizing and a good thing in general. That is probably what has kept me sane, at least this far.

So on to narc sisters, yes I have now decided there are two of them. Though POA sis not quite as bad but much more self absorbed! Tuesday night when she was here she was explaining to a friend of mine how terribly busy she is. PLEASE! I REALLY DONT GIVE A RAT'S PATOOT! Today I emailed both sissies to ask if I could get help getting mom picked up from daycare, about 9:30 am. Well, by 2 I had not received any sort of response so emailed them again to let them know I had it managed and would get there to pick up mom. Oh and by the way #1 narc sis has not responded to anything this week. Self-centered Bi%$#!

Well POA sis called the house about 4:45 to tell L that she had just received my e-mail (LIAR!) then asked who picked mom up. CHICKEN SH%%! I used to think that I would do anything for my sissies that they needed. Not any longer, that is for sure. So this nonsense of theirs got me riled up tonight, then L decided to stay up an hour later! Old fart! (typing this is at least making me feel better). Then mom's guardian emails me to tell me about the email nonsense that I just need to lower my expectations! I don't have any whatsoever! And DA%%, if my mom understood any of this she would have disinherited both brats a long time ago!

Well, all for tonight, maybe. Thank you all for being so understanding I appreciate you all!

Oh and fire investigators changed the classification of fire to explosion. The place is such a mess, unbelievable!
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Sharyn - we cross posted! Yes, pictures!!! Prayers for a fast and safe delivery for all. Finally it is happening.
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kazzaa and cm - eating probiotics all the time - capsules, yogurt and kimchi. This infection developed a few years ago after a lifetime of antibiotics every few months and then the stress of moving mother for the first time. It is a gut yeast infection (dysbiosis - imbalance of bugs in the gut) and at its worst I have sweats, bad gut pain and fatigue and more). It didn't get that bad this time. I have gone off the meds today and feel much better. The worst this time has been the "die off" giving me brain fog etc. I will go on another meds if I need to, as it is easier to take though can be hard on the liver. I survived a couple of years on it before with no problems. It is a balancing act. Tea tree oil etc. hasn't done it for me. I have tried them all.

cm - that was my busy day and was a bit too much. Usually I am much quieter. G was delayed again yesterday, so we are looking at beef tonight, but I am not putting it in the oven till I know when he is coming home. It is a small roast.We may end up cutting it into steaks - they cook faster. ;p

Sharyn - it was a lovely day, As we sat sharing fries over lunch, Joel told me he wanted to be a biochemical engineer. He could do it, and he wouldn't be the first one in the extended family. Praying for your daughter and the twins.

glad - hope you are getting your head around the fire etc. Very scary!

sandwich - my water broke before each of my labors, but the babies all came fast.

Me - you mention having been taken advantage of for years. I have tended to be a little like that and still am to a smaller extent. No one can change that but you. Life has piled more and more on you - now your sis as well, and you are the one who has to say no and set your own priorities and boundaries. As I get older, I have to adjust what I will and will not do. It is ongoing. How about setting yourself as a priority sometimes - not doing something because it pleases others, so they are happy, which makes you happy. It never works well relying on others feelings to make you happy. You have to be able to be happy/content, regardless if how others feel. Gpa is guilting you with the "see what I do for you". Remember that FOG - fear obligation and guilt is used by people to manipulate others. It seems to me that you are being jerked around by all three if these. Mother used to pull that too. I took my daughter and family in when they needed a place and didn't ask much of them at all, nor did I throw it in their face all the time, or ever for that matter. I lived in the basement and gave them the rest of the house. It was a gift to them with no strings attached.

Margeaux - wow - that sis of yours and your ex friend. The nerve of both of them!!! Talk about manipulation!

No word from G yet, so I think I will head off to the store. I dare not drive when I have brain fog, but am OK now :). He spends more and more time in the office in the south, I would move there if it were not for the kids and grandkids here. But the winters get harder to take as I get older. Another trade off. One of these years we will move...

Have a good evening and do something good for you.
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My daughters dr of choice is on call until 7am tomorrow. She will induce her at midnight!! This dr had triplets...she is a great comfort to my daughter and she may be able to see her to the end of her pregnancy!! ;I am so excited...told my daughter I am bringing my camera at midnight, she said you are not taking pics ofme writhering in pain....I said Hey...labor day is coming up!! Anyway... i plan to take pics of the babies.
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Emjo taking your grandson out for lunch and a hike is "quiet," is it? Lordy! Hope you're beginning to perk up, though, it's no fun feeling under the weather. Especially if it means no Yorkshire puds :(

I second Kazzaa's probiotics suggestion - it's those lactobacilli making everything a bit more acidic, isn't it? Something like that. And at the very least, palatable. Wish you better x
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Sharynmarie - my first was an induction due to my lateness and extremely high BP. And the fact my water broke before labor started. I had an epidural too. That baby ended up being my 15 year old, laid back, nothing phases him child. Sometimes I wish his school deadlines would phase him..... He was in no hurry to be born. I guess he felt he was fine in there! Took modern drugs and a very large LD nurse named Helga to scare him out of there.

GOOD LUCK and we'll be waiting for baby stories when you have time.
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Yes!!!; they are still planning to induce tomorrow. I was concerned about her bp during labor but either the drug to induce labor or the epideral has a bp lowering component in it. They can feel baby A's head...at least last week they did...LOL!! Today they find her cervix!!! Where the heck did it go???

Kazza-Ibet twins are fun, once they can sit up in the bath..LOL!! Boys are so fun in general anyway...rocks in their pockets and who know what else may be found.

Joan- hope you are feeling better soon. I like the day you had with your grandson...so cute.

Thank you Glad, Margeaux and Me1000.

Glad-hope you are getting things worked out with insurance and are able to breathe some as the shock wears off.
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Sharyn - babies soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So exciting your daughter is doing so well :-)
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Sharynmarie,

Sorry to hear about her BP being so high.
This must be very stressful for you and her, and of course her husband.
I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Emjo,

It's good to hear from you!
I really understand......when one just doesn't want to post, too.
It's difficult also, when you're just not feeling your best.
But I'm happy you had that day with your grandson, it must have been lots of fun.
All right, feel better.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Emjo hope you get better soon! Apple cider vinegar BATHS yes! as hot as you can bear it great for detoxing the body! If you can alternate cider bath,then epsom salts then teatree oil it got rid of my yeast infection i now take probiotics and swear by them!
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sharynmarie........... best of luck with the babies hope they come soon! my last nanny job was looking after twin boys very different looks and personality they were an absolute joy to look after i thought two would be difficult but its easier i think than one as they do amuse each other!! Bathing is FUN??? they were 8mths when i started and 3yrs when i left i am looking forward to returning to Paris one day to see how theyve grown up! I still keep in touch with the mum and strange but true thier mum and i "are twins" both born the same year and day isnt that strange?? Yes twins are alot of fun!!
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Margeaux- So sweet of you to help your friend clean it up :) Im sorry you and your sibs went through a rough time and thank you for sharing. Its good to be able to hear what you went through , how you felt as a child and how you hold the memories today. It definitely gives me a lot to think about.


sandwich42plus- No ots not that I need that feeling to be a rescuer, I have always wanted to help and chat with people and make people laugh and be happy. I felt sad when I see people who are sad or those in need of help-family or non. Idk if I feel like " hey pat on the back Me because I need a good thing etc" honestly I dont think that or feel that, I just want to help. Of course a little of it with grandpa goes to me wanting to give back to him for all he has done for us as well. My sis used to call me a kiss a&* because I was this way, always wanted to be with people, new people, old friends and family, always wanted to be interacting with them and yes helping. It was automatic for me to help others. This is the old me who could handle it all. Of course handling it all as a child or young adult doesnt have the responsibilities as an adult and what all of us caregivers do. So balancing everything is hard. I dont mind helping, I want to be there, just less time so I can work and have some time with my dad and kids too. I have always been walked on too because of by attitude I think.. not sure. I have changes through bad relationships and family issues, loss of my first son ( miscarriage) and I am stressed because now I force myself to smile in public and talk back when they talk to me, no I force myself to go in public.. of couses its been this way even before I was full time caretaker for granpa, but its gotten worse since after full time. I see what you all are saying... Im working on my house today full force and will send my dad down until a certain time unless an emergency. I am not feeling well either ( darn colds!!)


emjo23- Im glad you had a nice lunch at quality time with your grandson and daughter for tea! Make sure you rest though and get well soon :)

gladimhere- Hang in there, many more hugs your way!

sharynmarie- I hope you can see them before you go!! Good luck to you all :)
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Sharyn, wonderful! You will get to meet those boys before you need to get back! Wish you had a few more days though.
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My daughters bp has been high since last night. She and sil went to the hospital this afternoon. It is consistenly high 158/100. They admitted her for monitoring hoping to get her o friday. If her bp gets to160/110 they will induce her before friday.
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Thank you, everybody! I am just kind of numb at this point.
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gladimhere, That is so awful but glad your friend is safe. HUGS
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Me1000 - you have GOT TO STOP feeding yourself these messages about guilt and owning people something.

Nothing will change for you until you give YOURSELF permission to be a whole person, with needs, thoughts, opinions, and responsibilities to your CHILDREN.

Your CHILDREN need you more than dad & grandpa do. It is unreasonable for anybody to think they can pull you away from your children. Dad & Grandpa continue to pull you in because you let them. Dad & grandpa are never going to change until you make it happen.

I also challenge you to figure out why it is so hard for you to allow yourself to make changes. What's in it for you to keep things the same?
Do you get some kind of feeling when you are the rescuer for all these people?
Why do you need that feeling?

You are paying a huge price by continuing to do things the same way every day.
So what if they yell at you? So what if they say mean things. Let it GO.

Set yourself free. You are the only person who can.
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Me1000,

I'm going to tell you a story. My parents worked since I was very, very young.
I being the eldest was left in charge of my siblings. Of course while I was still super young.....up to about 7 years of age, grandmother was still in the picture, baby sitting. But as soon as all of four siblings were in school, grandmother's presence became much less. Now I had to really become very responsible for many things concerning my sibs. It was very hard on me, but I guess I just got used to it. Both of my parents worked during the day.

Then I remember when I must have been about 9 yrs. old, mother started to work nights. This really meant that we hardly saw our mom, since she was there during the day, while we were at school, then she'd leave for work about 3:30 p.m. Let me tell you, how sad it was at first, just mom's absence. I know that my sister and me didn't like this at all. Being a young kid, wanting some mother attention just wasn't happening for us. I remember having feelings of abandonment, although I didn't know what the heck to call it at the time.
Please, please.......start paying attention to these messages your daughter is giving you.

Also, I completely am onboard with Sandwich's post. It is time for you and your family to look for help, so that you can prioritize the things that really matter to you and your children. Be aware, as in my case......there could be some resentment on their part if you don't give this some serious thought.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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((((((glad))))) so sorry abut your house. 4000 sq. feet is huge!!! Hope your friend recovers and does not smoke near oxygen any more. So good that you have young people to help with what has to be done.

sandwich - what a change in your mum. Maybe there is hope for mine yet. I think she needs an antidepressant as well as the antipsychotic. I guess they are cautious - one step at a time.

Taking a bit of a break trying to get over this infection and adjust meds and activity properly. Had a great day Monday - took my youngest grandson for lunch. Then back here and he chose some if my father's things from WW1, then we went on the trail across from the house and he played on some of the exercise stations they placed along the trail. Went back for tea with my daughter and then home. It was too much and I have been paying for it since. Promised G a roast beef supper tonight. I don't think I am up to making Yorkshire pudding :( I get so disgusted with having to stay so quiet.

Have a good day everyone.
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I was just thinking......these tanks that have any kind of air pressure in them.
One time while I lived in Europe, I lived in a small tourist port. I became friends with a woman, who was a bartender in one of the small businesses in the port.
It was also a cafe, during the day as they served breakfast and lunch.

One day I went in there for lunch. One of the tanks that holds beer fell on the floor, and I guess the impact the tank sustained caused it to literally fly out of the cafe onto a walkway, and just about land in the water of the port. I was walking up the walkway and saw it happen. So just goes to show us, how powerful these pressurized tanks can be. No one was hurt since the cafe wasn't busy.
Oh boy, was my friend the bartender, and me rather rattled after that. I even helped her clean up things like broken glass, strewn napkin holders it took in it's path. Scary!

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Glad,

I also am very sorry to hear about this.
Yes, people don't heed to these warnings. I had a friend on oxygen, who years ago had one of those portable oxygen tanks. She used to light up cigarette's, and of course many times she was around other people. Many of us were alarmed,
at the thought of the tank blowing up, too. It was interesting since this person thought of herself as highly aware, especially when it came to health issues.
It was rather crazy, and I found that eventually more and more people stopped inviting her to social gatherings, since she just didn't have the common sense to refrain from smoking w/an oxygen tank.

You are also in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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gladimhere- Im so sorry about your house and glad your friend is ok. Your in my thoughts hugs
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Oh no Glad! We hear about this all the time, I am so sorry. Take deep breaths and make the necessary arrangements for shelter. It is a shame and the last thing you need on your plate right now. I am thinking about you ((((Hugs))))!
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Well, I have had quite a stressful day. Got a call about 9:30 this morning that there was a fire at my house last night. Spent the day with insurance adjusters, restoration company, fire department and at hospital with my friend that is taking care of my house so I can care for mom. He was smoking and using oxygen. We have all heard the warnings but those that do this think it will never happen to them. Well... He was released from the hospital tonight is in a hotel courtesy of the Red Cross.
Now the mitigation and rebuild. One room was completely gutted but the smoke and water damage is unbelievable. Large 4,000 sq ft house, built 1896, my beast house came to be.
I am fortunate my son and sons in law can help with all of this and hopefully minimize the hour drive there to take care of things.
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just to add another funny poster wrote "i want to go back to kindergarten" LOL what if we could go back then with what we now know!!!! that would be a buzz! that would my heaven im 4yrs old and im back in kindergarten and im going to fix it all right this time!!! when youve had broken childhood you grow up too fast so now i want to be a child again and wonder at life yep look at all this through an excited four year old eyes!! Its going to be strange when both parents are gone and time for us to be kids again but smart kids!!!
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