notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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Tonight's hits included:
1. Come get me out of this H-LL hole
2. They are starving me to death. I haven't eaten all day.
3. I have pulled out my intestines when I go to the bathroom.
4. They are giving me someone else's meds.
5. You wouldn't treat a dog this way. (True. I would have put a rabid dog down by now. No, I didn't say that out loud.)
6. This is a H_ll hole part 2
7. If you bury me here I will walk all over you every night of your life. (as a ghost)
8. They are going to serve me for dinner here.
9. I heard these N-----s talking about getting ready to kill me.
10. Come and get me right this minute (extended remix).
Ultimately, I just decided she wasn't going to run out of steam and was agitating herself more, so I told her to calm down, good night, and I hung up.
I have to turn it into something humorous because it is so outlandish, and I know she is not the only one behaving this way. I hope nobody is offended.
I will probably be that senile woman at Shady Pines, making list after list after list of gibberish.
1. Make a
2. L
3. I
4. S
5. T
:-D
Now one to other things, I drove out in the country today and noticed the almonds and walnuts look like a good crop this year. It was very relaxing and soothing to see the rural area.
I appreciate you all HUGS!!!
Well, when I read Sharyn's first post, I just figured it was mix ups. Then when I read her other posts, I got very concerned. Concerned enough to bring up several things. I can be like most people and pretend it's ALL her coworkers fault and commiserate with her. Or I tell her what I see. She IS distracted. And if she continues to be distracted, things Will continue to go wrong. In the work place, there's only so much 'it's not me' before the higher ups will see that it doesn't matter. What matters to them is that she should have caught it but didn't. What I'm worried about is if this continues, they will find a reason to let her go. I like Sharyn and I'm very very worried about her from ALL fronts.
Sharyn, I'm sorry if I was too blunt. But I'm not going to pussyfoot around something that I'm worried about. If I didn't care for you, I'd just kept silent. I think if I was in your shoes, I would be feeling scared and no one to turn to. Too many things happening at one time. Sigh... {{{HUGS}}}
It takes guts for someone to bare their soul, about an issue they are having.
But I don't feel that by bringing that issue up in an insensitive manner, and also attach it to each future post by Sharynmarie serves any purpose. I hope we are all here to support one an another in a kind spirit.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Oh my! Well, I could tell by your first descriptions of the situation with both your FIL, and MIL....this wasn't going to be easy. I agree with other posters that you are going to have to take a very firm stance as to the outcome of what you and your husband need in the situation with your FIL. If you're saying it's becoming extremely unsafe for his wife, and him also.....sounds like it's time to look for a NH for him if this is a possibility.
This is exactly what happened when mother's very difficult sister, (you FIL sound just like her) landed in the hospital because of issues she was having with her feet (diabetic). On the back of this mother was taking some falls.
She was taken to ER, and they discovered she needed a heart pacer, which was placed. At the time.....they lived independently in mom's home. Mom being the more mobile of the two, was trying her best w/ALZ to be in charge. POA brother....the one having job issues right now lives 70 miles away and isn't the responsible type. But as the POA, the doctors wouldn't release them before my brother agreed to either set up caregiving in the home, or be in charge. To their detriment he took them w/him, and that turned into a fiasco, they being neglected. Anyway, in this circumstance it was terrible, because mother's sister
always maintained medical power over herself. My brother, nor my sister (who eventually took over their care, and POA), never saw to it my aunt was placed in a home since they feared breaking up the two co-dependent sisters. Our aunt unfortunately held too much psychological power over my siblings. I saw this play out for the next five years (aunt died in 2012), and my sister the main live-in CG of both mom and the sister become unbearable. I am so happy for you that it sounds as if you have your husband in and your MIL in your camp, where it concerns your FIL.
Stay strong!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I sure hope for your sake at the job.....that there's something on the video camera.
It's terrible, that a store would run out of precisely, an item that people come into to either order, or buy because of the convenience of it all. This is really a management problem. In the first place, why is it they need to get their employees to cover on account of no merchandise. Then, if an employee in a bakery is delivered the chickens, no communication with you, since you are the person who is going to probably cook them up, etc. I find this interesting when there are serious management problems, it usually will trickle down to the employees, (I don't mean you). I really know that by what you have already gone through at your job, you are quite the responsible one there. Well, good for you, you are union, and I hope your rep can do something for you. I wouldn't sign anything. I hope this is resolved in your favor.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
http://www.pascenter.org/documents/paid_family_caregiver_programs.pdf
I did a job as a receptionist once on a non-stop 12 line 128 extension switchboard that literally gave me nightmares - the only way I could manage the non-call tasks was to write everything down and not cross it off until it was done. And I did get very good at it, though I say it myself. From which I learned that even if the job itself is a pain, being good at the job is very satisfying.
Whatever works for you - reporter's notebook, post it notes, memos to self on your cell phone.
Also, if you really focus on concentrating on work at work, then at least you get a break from worrying about home and family! Win win..?
If you're stressing on something else that is totally not from work, you need to pro-actively deal with it. Whether by therapy or AAA. Now that you're making mistakes, everyone is now going to notice every single mistake you do. You really need to stop and think before doing anything. No more working with an automation mindset. I go through this in cycles - usually when I'm going thru a bad depression.
Sharyn, I'm not putting blame you. I'm just saying that you need to be pro-active in protecting yourself/job. I Know what it's like to be blamed. Boss' wife always gets me in trouble. Boss getting mad at me, and she just sits there doing her work. I look at her waiting for her to say, "I told K to do that." But nooooo, she ignores us. And I get blamed a lot because of her. One time, I couldn't take it anymore, and I defended myself. I told the boss that it was his wife who told me to do it. She denied it, and we started arguing back and forth. He told us to be Quiet! I've learned not to trust her. Backstabber. (I was once warned by a coworker to be careful around wife. That she was backstabbing me.)
The wife is handling china visas for 21 people. I was logging each applicant online, passport info, name, etc... As i was logging it in, I was also reviewing the application. She caught me doing it on #4. She got angry and told used that tone of voice 'What are you doing?'... I replied, "Reviewing it." .... She said angrily, "I already reviewed it. You're just doing double work!" Soooooo. I stopped reviewing the forms. We courier it out to LAX. The company received it. Now, your not suppose to turn in a photocopy form. It must be originals. The company emailed us and said that there were a lot of signatures that was photocopied and not originals..... Boss then said, "K, you know all those forms you and W did? A lot of it were photocopies,not originals. Did you notice it?" I replied honestly, "I was reviewing it but W told me that she already reviewed it and I was doing double work. No, I didn't notice it." Wife spoke up saying that she didn't notice it. Ha! I do more China visa applications than them. Of course, she knows better than me. Whatever! I'm not taking blame for this one!
I know that this is not going to get any better and that we are going to have to make other arrangements sooner than I thought. Like maybe tomorrow. I imagine he will rest up before trying this again. Charles and I are going to have to figure out how to close the gap so one of us is here all the time.
I tried to call the VA today but they were no help. Also made a dr. appointment for FIL, because I think they need to look at his meds and make sure he is okay. I don't think there is anything available that helps with dementia. I also called a nursing home for that portion of this process, they have available rooms and take medicare and medicaid so I am hopeful that this will work out okay, somehow.
Thanks for listening...
Christine
Sister sets strict budget for mother's birthday party. Best option is a whisker over, but she agrees it. Buffet lunch, set menu, hot course, cold course, dessert, coffee and mints thrown in, bring your own birthday cake. Wine not included. Mother snaps straight to it, choosing from the various options. All set. Email sister, cc hotel manager, to confirm. Right?
Snort, yeah, right. Uh uh. Sister not happy with hot options, wants whole dressed salmon as part of cold buffet instead and let's hope it's good weather and we're not all blowing on our fingers and dying for a nice hot bowl of soup. "After all," she says "some people may be coming a long way and one wants to offer something decent." Oh one does, does one? Then why is one being such a total tightwad over the budget?
And having said we don't want to provide a bar at lunchtime, suddenly she's in there asking how much for apéritifs, how much for the house white and red with the meal and by the way she thinks we need to consult brother about the menu.
At which point I blow a fuse (this is only over email, which is why I haven't sworn at anyone. Yet.). What, the same brother who has yet to acknowledge a single one of the four emails I've sent him over the last four days? That brother? Sure. He's obviously keen to be involved. I can hardly hear myself think for the deafening silence from him.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Phew. Feel better now, thank you for listening :)
Book, I understand what you are saying, I basically am going to have to be the bakery/deli manager and supervise.
The cake decorator would not have just dropped the chickens off in the department especially not in the back. If I was not in the dept, I am sure she would have put them where I would see them. I did step away a couple times but only for very short periods...a bathroom run, a quick break out front but the deli was in my view so I could see if someone approached the deli. This is why I think she had a service specialist bring them in, the SP's are young kids, late teens early twenties..usually it is their first job out of high school.
I will just have to wait until I go in this afternoon to see what they are going to do.