The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?

Margeaux, it's another form of denial. If your mother has Alzh, then, you should be helping. Since she doesn't have Alzh, then there's no need for you to be there helping your sister. Or some other reason he might have for his denial to acknowledge your mom has Alzh. Or .. It could be that if your mother has Alzh, then that means YOU might get it, too. Therefore, Your mother doesn't have Alzh. How does one try to educate someone on the current events when they insist on keeping their head under the sand?

Tonight I spoke with a friend of mine who's mom has dementia. The mother lives in one of the Latin American countries, and my friend lives in the U.S. She was telling me that her sister lives w/the mom, and she has two brothers that switch hours to help the live in sister. It really sounds like at least her brothers are involved. That's great, and how rare.

So I started to tell my husband about what she'd shared about her mother's dementia. I said something about my mom and her ALZ. He said to me, "Your mother doesn't have ALZ." Honestly, sometimes I just don't understand where the heck he's coming from, w/regards to my mother's ALZ. His comment made my hairs stand on end. I responded, "What are you talking about?" She has ALZ.
He tried using the info. I'd told him about my friend and mother's dementia, such as a comparison of some kind. No. 1. He doesn't know this woman's mother.
The next thing I said to him wss, "What do you know about dementia or AlZ?"
He then said, he knew some things, because he'd read it on the internet.
My husband is not the supportive type. If he is.....it's in a very general way.
Anytime, I've tried telling him of certain things mom does, in essence really a display of the decline associated w/ALZ, it really p**ses me off, the attitude he has. He tries to explain it away, and behaves as if he knows my mom better than he really does. He met her about 11 yrs., ago. At that time I'd recently moved out of her household, because that battle ax was living w/her, just after dad died.
I left because I really could no longer live there under the same roof w/mom & her sister. So really, my husband didn't have that much contact w/my mother.
So I do not understand his comments current day, and they really annoy me.

Margeaux

Spring here is so unpredictable. Today rain, tonight back in the 40's...Monday is expected to be 75 and Tuesday..85. When it heats up here, allergies get worse as the pollen count gets higher. Allegra works best for me but it comes in 12 hour dosages which I don't like. I am weird as I like 4 hour dosages best.

Book~Sorry you are dealing with the allergy season. Because I love tomatoes, when I was around 8 years old, I would eat whole tomatoes like an apple. I broke out all around my lips with a rash. Take care of yourself and come back when you are feeling better. Hugs to you!!

Hi Everyone. Too tired to read. Well, I did read but it's not registering in my brain. Father is in the stage of waking up in the middle of the early mornings like 3am or 4am or 5am. He always thinks that it's daytime.

Bugga, I can no longer take Benadryl allergy. It now causes me to break out of rashes on my lips. So, I can no longer take Comtrex, Sudafed and now Benadryl. And if it's not breaking out with rashes and swelling eyes, then it's stomach pains from the pills. Hence my now turning to Apple cider vinegar and honey. I think I will cut down the dosage on the vinegar.

I'm going to have come here when I'm well rested and re-read everyone's post. I was reading but it sure wasn't registering. Later...

Austin~Thank you. When we place mom last year, I took over the pruning of the roses as I discovered mom's yard service was using electric clipping/shears. That is fine in itself because the roses will still bloom, however, I noticed that the roses were producing 5-6 buds at the end of the canes. This was a bushy effect and most of the buds did not mature. The new owners will only have to prune the front which not as time consuming as the back.

Buggasmom~I can't work in the field of my degree as I have developed lower back and knee issues and working as a garden landscaper 8-10 hours a day 6 days a week...would really do me in, LOL!! Being stooped over or down on my knees for 8 hours is much to painful. When I was in my 20's and 30's it was fine. If I had money to have my own company with other's doing my design plans, that would work, but we can only dream.The photography is a basically a novice talent and I unfortunately have had to put on the back burner 2 years ago due to my mom progressing with the Alz and needing more help. If any of you are interested, you can google sharon'sgems. It will bring up Flickrsharon'sgems photostream and you can view my photo's on flickr without becoming a member.

Hang in there everyone, and most important, find time for yourself.

Hi Everyone! Wow! I can’t keep up. I was up at 5:30 a.m. thought I’d say “Hi with coffee.” Nope, had to come back later, & there was lots! Started again & “oops!,” tried again, “Nope!” So now @ 5 p.m. wanted to touch base & try to make some connections. *smile* Okay, here is what I’ve gotten since this a.m.
Hugs to All! ~ Bugga’s Mom

195Austin ~ I enjoyed reading your post. When I got to the part “the sky will not fall” I instantly got this mental image of Chicken Little, which made me smile. It does feel like the sky will fall sometimes, I must remember not to sweat the small stuff.
I hope you are able to contact with your brother, as he knows you love him and he loves you too. It is nice to have siblings who love each other. I hope your sil (sis-in-law?) realizes she will reap what she sows.

AlisonBoBaliston ~ Hi Alison it is nice to meet you! 
Aw, I hope Bug & I make you laugh more than cry. I just wanna hug you right now! Music, visual arts, literature, and nature are a BIG part of our daily lives. She is singing now. A little song called, “Can You Feel the Sunshine.” She found it on YouTube. It is good to hear a kind words about my Bug. But, I can go on too much about her because I never get to. Today we will share a Huge “HUG” & “Thank You!” from us both.

Sharynmarie ~ I think having the ability you do and a degree in plants/agriculture is outstanding. I couldn’t grow anything if my life depended on it. Photography, landscaping, plants, are grand talents to have! I absolutely love gladiolas but could never grow them. We have some sort of roses in our front yard that do better when I leave them alone! (Ha-ha-ha) It’s amazing how much talent it takes to plan & grow a garden. *Hugs & Sunshine to You!*

Emjo ~ Congratulations! Wishing you much happiness on your up and coming special day!

Exhaustedmama ~ Hi, What a hard time for both you and your mom. Sending Prayers, Hope, and Hugs to you both. I feel for you having a drug/alcohol addicted sibling. We had 1 of those. Yep…He is passed on now, I’m not even sure how long. Like everyone has said, let your mom decide what she wants and go with it, making sure the (possible) visit is supervised. It is the way things should have gone when my dad passed, but didn’t. Addiction took our family to a new level of Dante’s Inferno. It sounds like you and your mom have held strong together so far. Bless you both & Hugs.

Whippedat56 ~ Hi! I’m new at forums too! I found a really warm welcome with sound words of advice, and encouragement here. I am sure you will too. Many have wise, helpful words to share here. I am glad you made it! *Hugs*

ConstantNurse ~ Hi ConstantNurse, How mean your Pastor said such a hurtful thing! People are supposed to support one another? What a shame. My Grandma said, “A true Christian isn’t just a Christian at church, but everywhere.” She said, “You can pray, and get in the spirit anywhere, and you can sin in church same as at home.” My Grandma lived down an old coalmine holler, in a coalmine company shack in the 30’s & 40’s. They say she didn’t always get to go to church like she wanted, but she knew her Bible, and was always helping people. Today, I think people have to live it to understand it.
I sure hope your mom is okay. Did the car accident do something to her to cause her to go into a fog? How is your dad with the nursing staff? My Aunt Billie worked in a Retirement Home for years; she passed away many years ago now. She used to have patients that were quite mean to their family, but okay to the staff, or visa versa. Hugs & Hope your mom can get to feeling better herself soon!

Bookluvr ~ Hi! We are avid books readers here too! Mostly classical literature, but we do mix-it up. I don't know if it's the vinegar that broke you out or not. (Maybe too acidic?) Bugga takes Clairton, w/ Zantac. The Allergist said the Zantac was also good for allergies. She carries an allergy pen. We get the Zantac at the Walmart right off the self now. It seems to work.
My oldest was bad allergic to “everything,” except mold. He stayed sick with sinus/migraine headaches, sore throat, threw up, ear aches from spring to winter. It always looked like he was crying. He took Zyrtec, but it didn’t help all the way. He use to flush his sinus with a saline solution. He said it hurt at first, burned, but helped. “Finally,” he gave in & got the allergy shots. It took like a year, maybe closer to 2 years, and they helped. No more allergies! His med. Insurance covered the shots (HMO), I don’t know if all do or not.
I sure feel for you having allergies. My son suffered from the time he was little until he was 16, when he got the immunizations; he is 27 now.
*Hugs* & Good Luck!

Hope everyone has a restful, happy weekend!
"Can You Feel the Sunshine, as it brightens up your day?"
Bugga's Mom

Shary you are good to do the yard work for a house you are selling-yard work is not easy-I have done lots this spring.

Constant~I agree with everyone else regarding your pastor. I left my church because of feeling beaten down by the pastor and parishionors who said tough up, suck it up.

Austin~I am sorry about your brother. His wife sounds like she has some issues with herself as her only priority. I hope you are able to talk with your brother.

Joan~Your wedding plans sound very lovely. I am so happy for you and G.

Regarding Ethen, I didn't know he was a relative when I first got involved with his facebook page. His mother is a cousin on my husbands side of the family. None of the Cali family has ever her or Ethen. Again, it is happening at a distance.

The good news is, Tuesday, we will find out the genders of the babies!! I have the pink and blue M&M's ready (wow, ordering M&M's in specific colors, even in 7 oz. bags, are very expensive). I had to order regular size M&M's as they don't sell the mini's. I got 2 7oz bags of each color ahead of time to reduce stress of waiting for the shipment. We are going with a yellow and green theme since it is a co-ed gathering.

I pruned all the roses in mom's backyard yesterday, watered front and back. There was not enough room in the waste can to prune the front and pick up will not be until May 6th for yard waste. It looks like we will sign final papers next week. The new owners will have to deal with the front yard and I should not have to go over there again to do yard work. It took about 4 hours to do what I did yesterday.

My backyard....well, it is better but still needs a lot of work,LOL!! Tiger is on lock down because he was refusing to come in the house at night or to come in to eat. I brought him in and his right front paw was hurting, nothing serious that needs vet attention, but Tiger has a low tolerance to pain. He is a big baby, but my big baby.

Have a good day everyone, take some time for yourselves.

Constant, perhaps it would be better to get your therapy from your brothers and sisters who are also going through trials - i.e. us! - and avoid lectures from people who haven't the foggiest idea what they are talking about.

It is, having said that, very true that there are always (almost) blessings to be counted. That there are always those less fortunate than ourselves. That "The Scale Of Things" can be a consoling perspective when we are feeling overwhelmed. All these and other comforts we find out for ourselves by doing what we do, and by sharing our experiences with others.

I don't think "pull yourself together and don't be so self-centred" was a very Christian piece of advice. Find a better pastor, one who doesn't tell members of his flock to quit worrying about their sore hoof and keep up with the others.

Our Office for the aging is changing it's name I think Office for Senior Recourses instead of solving real problems like having a ditzy Director they put their time into doing something meaningless it figures.

Constant that pastor had no right to say those things to you-he was no help what so ever and if you do decide to respond I would tell him just how I felt about what he said and that it was of no help to you.

Constantnurse that was, in my opinion, a vicious remark from your pastor. Tell that gentleman before he tries anymore therapy to get some training. I feel so mad about his treatment of you. The point of therapy is to help you find the tools to deal with you situation not. Not " too bad others have it bad to so quit complaining and get on with it" it would have been better if he was able to say somethinmg like " Your brothers and sisters in Christ are suffering as you are but what specifically can I help you understand and make your tribulations easier to bear" it's like telling someone in a prison cell with no window to stop and take deep breaths when all they will smell is the stench of the other prisoners. Yes you can pray and that is good because trusting in the Lord will give you strength but He's too busy to come round with a mop and bucket and clean up the mess. i won't go one but this kind of treatment from those who are supposed to give comfort makes me turn away from organized religion.
It is like a friend of mine who was an abused wife and had the bruises to show for it that she should stay in the marriage and not get divorced. So she went home and endured many more years till his death freed her. How right is that?
Therapy can be very painful because so many old pains have to be relived and adjustments made to our thinking and behaviour. But it is necessary to find a way forward.
You know as well as I do Mom did not deliberately flood the kitchen because she now feels so awful about it. it could have happened to anyone but you over reated having just come from that hurtful session and the anger which should have been directed toward the pastor was vented on the mess and by implication Mom because she felt she had caused it being the one who was there at the time. Give her a big hug and tell her it was an accident unless she is narsissistic and you hate her guts. you can even tell her the pastor said something to you that made you very upset before you got home and the flood was the last straw. A break would be an excellent idea could you buy mom a week in AL or somewhere if she needs supervision. many hugs.

Haha, emjo, just read your response to Constant… yes, there is a big difference between being helpful and caring person and just "sucking it up" across the board. Funny that we chose the same exact terminology to describe what "that type" of advice is really saying.

Everyone, please take care of you, and have a wonderful Friday. Sun is shining and its getting up to around 70 degrees today here, I'm very grateful.

Constantnurse, I've been in your position before, where you are looking for support (and sympathy, too), but instead you get a speech about how you're complaining too much and/or not doing the "right" thing, according to speech giver. It can be very hurtful. For myself, I know I've gone through, and continue to go through, so much change and adjusting. My life is centered around being a giving person, why would anyone feel the need to tell me that I need to just "suck it up"? That's not what I need to hear, because CLEARLY I am ALREADY sucking it up, in a big way, so that's not the issue here… All I can say is your pastor likely has never walked in your shoes, and is only human. People make mistakes all the time, even the nice, well-meaning ones. Unfortunately he doesn't understand the demands of your situation, but please stick around here for the understanding and support that you need.

And as far as responding… I am not the best to give advice here. When I have gotten that type of speech from others, I tend to just not communicate with them for some time period after that. I don't want to be mad or hurt at them, or try to defend my position, but I just feel if they are not understanding my current situation than I just put some temporary distance in that relationship. I wish you much luck with all of it. Others here will likely have good ideas for how to respond. (((hugs)))

Marqeaux thank you for asking-my sil is once again keeping me from seeing my brother it had been set up that I would go over every other week and take a meal since my brother did all the cooking and now is too sick to cook-but she is playing her games again and would not let me go over and I need to see him and assess how he is doing myself because she is unable to pass along how he is doing-but I have made a plan and will call his cell and talk to him myself-she still goes away often to see the grandchild and leaves him alone plus he has to drive himself to treatments because she wants to go to visit her mother on that day-she has her priorities and it is not him-so I am sad about everything at this point-my honey is there for me thank God and I do.

thanks constant - Have you looked into community resources to see if someone can come in and do some things for you so you can have some time for yourself. Your local agency on aging, social services office are places that may help. Gosh. I read on your profile that your mum is 74 with mobility issues. I count myself as very fortunate. I am 2 years older than her and walked over 25 blocks yesterday. Does your mum have any cognitive issues as well? If she can be left alone, then you can take some breaks -even a few hours in an evening with a friends, take in a movie or something like that. You need to schedule "me" time regularly.
Re your pastor's counselling, I am Christian too, and I would not continue counselling with someone who counselled me that way. You have a heavy burden with work and your mother's care. We are to "bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" Galatians 6:2. I don't see anything in scripture about "sucking it up". I would try to find someone who is supportive.

((((((((hugs))))))) to you - do something good for you today!!!

emjo , excited as i read about your happy event! Also appreciate the encouragement to take a break. just can't quite figure out how. :)
Got home from work and therapy session yesterday only to find my kitchen torn up because sink was plugged but leaking and Mom had flooded the whole kitchen. ARRRGH. Now we are just trying to figure out where the clog is and she is feeling awful. Therapy session was very painful, because my pastor responded to me by saying "other brothers and sisters in Christ are going through trials" quit focusing on yourself." Put on your big girl pants and boots and keep moving on" I was very hurt and have not decided how to respond. Any thoughts?

Re the upcoming event - G and I are choosing rings. I mentioned that he took me to a few jewellers in the Bahamas, which were way too expensive, but it got the ball rolling so to speak.

We said from the start that we wanted us" to be permanent, but I, especially, knew I had to feel that we could resolve conflict successfully before moving ahead. That has taken a few years, and both of us have made some adjustments. I have to say that G made me feel secure in the relationship as we did this, and he is feeling secure now since I am. I bought a wedding dress some months ago on faith, and need to get it altered to fit just right - upper torso issues!

We have not set a date. That will be the next thing. I believe it will be this year. I have talked with dil who has issues with daughter. and she said they will put them aside for the day. That is a big relief. Emily will be flower girl and Joel ring bearer, oldest son John will give me away, as long a G is OK with those things.

I want something small and simple - intimate and elegant. The dress is white satin, long, simple, with an interesting back. I may have a fingertip cape/poncho in a see through fabric. Upper arms are not the best at my age. Found some nice ones online. I am not sure where it will be, but possibly in his home town. Mother will not attend - she already has said that much earlier - but his parents and other family will be. On my side, it will be my kids, probably godson and sig other, a few friends, though mine are going down like flies recently, not sure about anyone else, but could hold something later in FMcM for others.

It is a bit scary having that and mother's move to arrange coincidentally, and fit some dental surgery in, which has time issues, but we will get through it.

That is about it for now, and I will update as things happen. G is a good man. We feel fortunate to have found one another. Thanks for the support and interest. ((((((((hugs))))))

glad - hahahahaha - that's hilarious! "sell mother" Must have been a Freudian slip. I didn't see that. Any takers? I can give you a bargain!

I am feeling a little more relieved as I found a "elder mover" in E'ton on the internet who will help sort, pack, arrange charity pickups, help make decisions about what to do with what, arrange for movers, unpack, arrange furniture etc. There is only one company like this in the city but one is enough. I hope they are still in business.They can also be a go between with mother. I know it will cost extra, but she can afford it, it will appeal to her elitism, we will be saving the ALF rent for now, and this is a complicated move as we do not know where she is going. I must contact them.

whipped -think about what glad said about the effects of moving. I doubt your cousin will last very long. It does sound like your mum needs a facility.

constantnurse -you need to arrange breaks for yourself or your health emotional/physical will be affected.

ppodmama -yes the dysfunction heightens and we all need hugs ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

norest - thrift store!!! Very sensible suggestion BUT mother would not been seen dead in anything from the thrift store. Someone suggested getting some cheap stuff and putting it in a bag from an expensive store - hmmmm!

margeaux - siblings!!!! aaaargh!!! I am cutting off more and more. Can't handle the verbal/emotional abuse - don't need it in my life - too toxic. I think got sucked in once too often.

book - all that childhood fighting gave you some valuable tools. I never pictured you as white with red hair. Wow. Love red hair! I will try your sinus remedy - mine have been sore. What could you be allergic to in that mixture?

Sharyn -so many conflicting emotions. I didn't know that ethan was a relative, It is heart breaking, and also your niece. Hope you can focus on the grandbabies and fully enjoy them

cm - glad to see you back. I have missed you. Hope all your stuff is proceeding reasonably. Can your mum give sensible input to your future move? Again -siblings!!!!! aaaargh!!!! I like your "never apologise, never explain." . Yes they could do the things they ask me too, but maybe what I do will please mother. That seems to me to be the wrong end of the stick. I like this psychiatrist the least of all I have met. She wouldn't shut up, kept going on in her pseudocheerful way, so I interrupted her a few times, not that she heard me anyway.

Alison - would your dad actually go hungry rather than go to the store for food? Hope you are getting things sorted re his care, and the house mold. Sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Bloody mucus - do you need a return trip to your doc??? I think you may need a change of scenery -i.e. to get out of there. This is seriously affecting your health.

judda - good to see you back. Hope you are letting go of mum as you want her, as she used to be and accepting her as she is. It lessens the pain. Put you first -remember be humane to your mum, but cause yourself no further harm.

a and a - I will do a separate post on the upcoming event.

sad - I have seen you on the narcissist thread quite a bit. You are NOT having fun.. Stick to your guns - detach, and look after you. If I never see mother or sis again, I am fine with that.

whoever I have missed I apologise -not intentional. Just getting back to speed here.

Have a good day everyone and do something good for you. (((((((hugs))))))

Wa wa what??? Emjo wedding? Do spill? So exciting?

It's mango season. Even if I park my car as close as possible to the house, just by walking from the car to the house, sinus allergy flare up. I used to keep my bedroom window open. My doc told me that when it's mango season, that I need to keep the windows closed and use the air con. For the past few weeks, I've had sinus/allergy stuffed up face, pounding headaches. Tylenol/Motrin dulls the headaches but I'm still so miserable. Took the sinus/allergy pill, made the headache go away but still a stuffed head on, and stomach pains (my stomach cannot handle the sinus/allergy pills.)

So, I'm back to taking the "natural" route for my sinus/allergy. Starting yesterday, I mixed 1/4 cup organic apple cider vinegar with 1 TBS honey then put it into my 16oz water. Sipped it throughout the day, and it cleared my sinus, and No headache!!! Today, I cut it down to 1/8 C vinegar with 1TBS honey in the 16 oz water. Oh, oh!!! I have an acne pop out, and my lips started tingling, and I have tiny rashes breaking out on my upper lip. Please don't say that my body is rejecting this natural remedy too!?!!??! It was working sooooo well!!!!

Exhausted, when my mom was dying last year, I did not even hesitate to text all my siblings that mom is close to the end. Years ago, Baby sister said that she was never going to come back here. Older sis said that she will only come home for the funeral. Even though they said this, I still felt obligated to alert them. In the end, they all came. Except baby sis had flight delays. She arrived a day later, which was the day mom died just before her plane landed. :::: As for your sister, do you have a spare room that only you have the key? Why don’t you start locking the valuables (silverware, vases, prized mementos, etc….) in there. When sis tries to get into it, tell her that your mom is not dead yet. Be mean/firm if you have to. Need help to be mean/firm? Think of what she did to your mom when your dad died. If you do this, you can look at her like that and she will know that you mean business.

Hi Ppodmama. I was never the scapegoat in my dysfunctional family. Mom just hated me and let it slip one time. I knew that the parents didn’t love us, but to actively hate me? She just treated me like a delicate flower about to break because her favorite child (my older sister) died from pneumonia while a super typhoon was hitting the island. Plus, she named after the typhoon which her favorite child died from. Plus, I was born white with red hair. While a toddler, relatives and strangers all assumed a white military man fathered me (mom must have fooled around.) Actually, I was a throwback from one of my great great Spanish grandparent. I’m still ‘white’ compared to my native people. But, I’ve seen the scapegoats in my family. No matter what they do, they never do it right, always chosen to do all the work, or be blamed, ignored, etc…. That is fave sis and older brother. We’re all messed up….

Margeaux – I get so upset when I read how siblings take things that doesn’t belong to them. When we were growing up, we siblings fought like cats and dogs. I have absolutely no hesitation in taking back what’s mine. I am known for my mouth. I can go on and on until the cow is dead, and it’s legs sticking up, and my mouth will still be going on and on. I’ve trained my family so well. Now, even before they touch it, all I have to say is, “That’s Mine.” and they all back off. If something is missing, I trace it to the culprit, and my mouth goes off for a long time so that everyone hears about it. sigh… it’s all from childhood when you’re competing for or trying to keep what’s yours from your other 7 siblings and 4 cousins. If you don’t fight for what is yours, you lose it. Sorry that it’s hard for you to be just as aggressive Back at your sister as she is to you. I’m a timid person but not when it comes to My Stuff.

Yeah, Emjo, nothing the SW wants done that can't be done on site. Take any items you do feel up to managing, and as for the rest of the list "never apologise, never explain." I can't imagine your POA documents mention anything about Personal Shopper.

Woah! Wooo-ooh!!! Did you say wedding (yours) to plan??? Wow fantastic! - that's more like it :|)

Norest-
Again, I am laughing at you pictures in frames story. One of my mom's favorite things to do is rearrange pictures which are on all pieces of furniture around here (hate dusting all of them!). Well, whenever sibling comes over she too rearranges pictures so those in her family are in the front everywhere. It has become quite humorous, gotta laugh, right? And I am sure she must be angry when she does this, otherwise she would dust them off at the same time you would think? Just so freaking childish.

LOL!

Joan, you and that laptop, my tablet is just as bad. But I really thought you had had more than enough when I read "sell mother" then noticed your next post. I will be honest here I had to LOL!

Are there ever bargain basement prices on mothers? Or I should word that another way, there are never premium prices on them and they come with a lot of extra work and stress.

Joan, take care of YOU! Now I will go back a few pages to see what is happening with your mom, good luck with that it doesn't sound good.

Whipped, I am with everyone else, it sounds like a facility would be best for mom. And now is the time to make that decision, not after spending some time at cousin's and then learning that cousin just cannot take care of her. Sharyn's estimate of being there a couple of months then realizing that this shouldn't have been done is not fair to mom. Moves are very difficult on those with dementia, it in and of itself could cause a sudden decline that mom may snap out of, but may not. It may only be a few days before cousin wants to bring mom back.

Think this decision through very carefully and make sure you have a Plan B and Plan C and probably a D as well.

Joan-prayers sent! Maybe another Sw will be more understanding.

settled now.

Typing on my lap is not working well - over and out :)

sell mother's stuff from that distance a few articles at a time? Not very practical

Prayers are much appreciated. Hope your folks are se.