
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
So I asked her if she was returning to work today, so that I'd go to the hospital and just be there w/mom. She then informs me that she got the impression they were hinting mom may be released today. So she'll be there today.The hospital also gave her some form, apparently to contest the release. On the back of this, she says that mom apparently expressed she felt more comfortable being in the hospital. Mom must have felt pretty bad at home to be saying this.
So my sister was hoping they'd keep her there at least til tomorrow.
Today they're delivering a hospital bed, and other supplies that they'll be needing, once mom is released. I could hear it in my sister's voice. Her exact words were,
"I think we're going into another level of care w/mom." She's even wondering whether mother may be able to get out of bed.
Well, so I was thinking about several things last night if you can all imagine.
I started to feel stressed, so I gave a big chant for mom. This Saturday mom will be 93 yrs. old.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Yes, oatmeal is great! I eat it just as you described, sometimes I add raisins.
Mom eats oatmeal, too. In her case....as I posted before, she doesn't get exercise.
Yes, exercise is a component in all of this also.
Didn't you write some time ago, that you had some work out videos?
Maybe you could start out little by little. But I do understand that if it tires you out, especially with all you do with your current schedule.
Reminds me, I need to go buy some oatmeal.
My husband has high cholesterol, but refuses to eat it.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
but I have to vent...so I am writing each of these people a poison pen letter detailing every time she asks for them, every time she cries and exactly what I think of them...don't know that I would ever send them out LOL but it is cathargic to pound the keys of my laptop!
In addition to the statins there is something called Questran which binds to the bile and gets rid of the cholesterol. This stuff may be effective but it is like drinking liquid sand and is absolutely disgusting. Metamucil is a good alternative. I use the orange flavor and mix it with warm orange juice.
I don't believe in making life totally miserable but I think avoiding very fatty food ie bacon or deep fried as in french fries. Plenty of fresh fruit and veggies and keep meat portions small and add in more fish but be careful because so many fish have high levels of chemicals these days.
You are at very high risk Book as both your parents have had strokes and we would really miss you on AC and who is going to change your diapers!!!!!!!!!!!!?
What I'm trying to say is that I googled on food and found that oatmeal is great in lowering cholesterol - specifically LDL. Of course, I'm cheating and Not eating the real oatmeal that is plain. Instead I buy the flavored Maple & Brown Sugar packets. Because I'm cheating, I decided to up the nutritional value by throwing in chopped walnuts and slivered almonds. Yum!!! I'm already wondering what my oatmeal will taste if I chopped up the apple into small pieces and throw it in?? The one very good side effect of this daily oatmeal eating (11pm snacking) is that I'm now very very regular in using #2 in the bathroom. I no longer have constipation where I know it wants to come out but it cannot. It's a very smooth process and Quick process. =)
I have bought several times probiotics but never took it. Hmmm.... I wonder if the last one I bought has not expired....
Thanks for the suggestion. I'm not sure what they've given mother.
But apparently the stool softeners or something must be assisting, because my sister said that she started being productive, if you know what I mean. Poor thing,
because she hadn't had a movement for a couple days, she became irritated.
Much Love & LIght! Margeaux
I do exactly the same thing telling mom she has recently visited with siblings. One say her five times last year, a couple of hours each time. And she lives five miles from here. She just cannot handle it emotionally. The other sib is better, sees mom somewhat regularly on Sundays.
I spend a lot of time just biting my tongue. It would be so easy to spout off about them to mom when she is asking for the. But, what good would it serve? It would upset mom, and I would feel guilty about upsetting mom later.
Have you tried Metamucil. I find it easiet to take in the orange flavor mixed with warm orange juice.
Blessings
Thank you for your input. Yes, I lately been taking a pro-biotic, and I believe it's helping me. I'm going to look up some things as you've suggested. As I said before, my sister seems to be super careful nowadays, w/diet for her. But that day we did visit, sis had made some cornbread. Now corn is extremely hard for me to digest. I had only a little piece. She sent us home w/some. WOW, just w/a small piece, it was like glue for me. Now, and I'm not sure whether possibly mother was given some of this, since this was only a week ago. Anyway, I'm not going to stress about wondering either, nor tell my sister anything. This is where I need to be mindful as to what I say in the regards. Truth be told.....I'm really suspecting it's in large the result of dehydration.
I'm very happy to hear that things are improving for your mom, Glad.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Much Love & Light! Thank you, to everyone, asking about her, too1
Margeaux
I am very happy to hear that the sale went well.
How exciting the baby guessing gender shower. That's a mouth ful. That sounds like fun. BTW, my sister's daughter is also pregnant, which surprised us.
Her second little one is only turning one in May. The pregnancy has due date i September.
I completely understand. You've had a lot of things go let's say awry, especially with the job situation. I'd be so annoyed and given the situation about being close to mom, nothing else needs be said. O.K., get out there and as my cousin would say, "Sometimes, we have to be brave little soldiers." She's a cool cousin of mine, who over the years knew what to say in these kinds of times, and put a bit of humor into it.
O.K., hope things are going good w/mother these days.
Get a good funny movie, and laugh! I think this is in order for your too!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I hope your poor mom is not hurting too much and the stool softeners get things moving soon. It must be very uncomfortable for her. Keep us updated.
My niece will have surgery on April 14th with follow up chemo. We are hoping and praying the tumor has shrunk enough they can remove it.
Gotta get moving to see mom before work at 2pm, order invitations for the shower, put mom's trash cans in the backyard. You are right...when this is done I won't be running back and forth. The estate sale went well.
Love and hugs
Sharyn
it is so sad to hear my mother ask for her kids and know that they aren't coming to visit, they aren't going to call, they just don't care. I try to cover for them for her sake, she's sinking into dementia...called me at work today and asked me where the kids were. How can she know to call me and know HOW to call me and NOT know that all her kids are grown up and moved away?
Hope your mom is feeling much better soon.
I didn't mean to ignore your hello.
How are you doing? I'll have to look up this Puddles the Clown.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I meant to say "childhood home."
Also, what I posted.....just trying to help you maybe see another perspective to some of this, and help you get through it.
Huge Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I feel for you and your losses.
You sound very, very stressed out right now. Do try to relax and take some deep, deep breadths. I think when people start falling like you have, your body may be trying to tell you something. I don't want to sound insensitive about all you're going through at the moment.....but the truth is you and your family have decided to liquidate, and there's going to be some relief, no matter the hardship of letting go of your child home. Think about it, you will no longer be beholden to the upkeep of still owning your parent's home. Besides, imagine your family decided to instead rent it. My question would be to you, "who would be assisting you in this venture?" Your sister doesn't seem available for that. Neither do your brothers. Anyway, I hope I didn't get ahead of myself saying some of this. Just something for you to possibly ponder, the other side of the logistics.
I hope that on the offer end, you get a reasonable offer.
You've been in my thoughts!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
They did send her home w/some stool softeners, but they yet haven't worked.
I'm wondering if I should suggest to my sister for her to give mom some pro-biotic,
say in the form of plain yogurt, or something. This is getting worrisome for me.
Also, I feel for my sister because the way she described the night before the first time they went to urgent care, mother kept getting up to try to use the bathroom all night long. She said it started showing as a UTI problem, then the constipation appeared.
O.K., just checking in with my pals here.
Much Love & LIght! Margeaux
I'm glad to hear that you went to the doctor to have your condition checked.
Try to rest, so that you can clear up the bronchitis.
You're in my thoughts!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Apparently, my sister says that she thought mom was suffering from a UTI.
She also, was very, very constipated. Does this sound familiar, anyone?
So they sent her home with stool softeners. My sister has toned down considerably, mother's diet. But she was telling me mom is refusing to drink water, so we're sure this aggravated things for her. Anyway, poor thing....she's suffering a bit right now.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
This should be a lesson to all caregivers out there that in order to care for others the caregiver must first make their own self and needs the primary priority.
This is not a critism of caregivers in general. Many back into their roles without the benefit of foresight Not their fault but once in the roll just do not feel able to get out and loyalties bind them to the family and the needs of their loved one. Nothing is fair in this world and each does the best they can.
Best wishes for you continued treatment and your positive attitude.
Like everyone else I am sure your days are not all wine and roses or cofee and chocolate if you are ladee M You have taken actions that have ensured a secure and happy end of life for MIL. Not what she had hoped for I am sure but none of us get all our wishes fulfilled in this world. Blessings for a job well done