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I spoke w/my sister late yesterday.
So I asked her if she was returning to work today, so that I'd go to the hospital and just be there w/mom. She then informs me that she got the impression they were hinting mom may be released today. So she'll be there today.The hospital also gave her some form, apparently to contest the release. On the back of this, she says that mom apparently expressed she felt more comfortable being in the hospital. Mom must have felt pretty bad at home to be saying this.
So my sister was hoping they'd keep her there at least til tomorrow.

Today they're delivering a hospital bed, and other supplies that they'll be needing, once mom is released. I could hear it in my sister's voice. Her exact words were,
"I think we're going into another level of care w/mom." She's even wondering whether mother may be able to get out of bed.
Well, so I was thinking about several things last night if you can all imagine.
I started to feel stressed, so I gave a big chant for mom. This Saturday mom will be 93 yrs. old.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Hi Book,

Yes, oatmeal is great! I eat it just as you described, sometimes I add raisins.
Mom eats oatmeal, too. In her case....as I posted before, she doesn't get exercise.
Yes, exercise is a component in all of this also.

Didn't you write some time ago, that you had some work out videos?
Maybe you could start out little by little. But I do understand that if it tires you out, especially with all you do with your current schedule.

Reminds me, I need to go buy some oatmeal.
My husband has high cholesterol, but refuses to eat it.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Wanting, just look out for that smallest unit of time in the universe, the ohno-second - that terrifying blip when you realise you've just hit 'send' instead of 'delete'..!
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gladimhere: I do bite my tongue a lot! surprised I haven't bit it straight off..

but I have to vent...so I am writing each of these people a poison pen letter detailing every time she asks for them, every time she cries and exactly what I think of them...don't know that I would ever send them out LOL but it is cathargic to pound the keys of my laptop!
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Book you have found the great cholestrol secret FIBER FIBER FIBER. Plain instant oatmeal can be made with milk which makes it palatable. Any thing can be added as long as you like the addition.
In addition to the statins there is something called Questran which binds to the bile and gets rid of the cholesterol. This stuff may be effective but it is like drinking liquid sand and is absolutely disgusting. Metamucil is a good alternative. I use the orange flavor and mix it with warm orange juice.
I don't believe in making life totally miserable but I think avoiding very fatty food ie bacon or deep fried as in french fries. Plenty of fresh fruit and veggies and keep meat portions small and add in more fish but be careful because so many fish have high levels of chemicals these days.
You are at very high risk Book as both your parents have had strokes and we would really miss you on AC and who is going to change your diapers!!!!!!!!!!!!?
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Sharyn, your sis knows. She just assumes that you will do her bidding. She really should have checked with you first before accepting the appointment. Since she agreed to it, she can definitely go. She works in the mornings, and you work the afternoons/evening shift. Tough for both of you to meet together. She has more flexibility than you. So it would be better to try to fit it with your schedule. Too bad it's at 530pm.
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Margeaux, since I had my last blood test result showing my LDL level had risen sharply each year, I'm finally being pro-active as in... now taking the Lipitor pills (every other day) and not pretending that it doesn't exist. I cannot do exercise because my body is continuously tired and walking just tires me more. So, instead, I googled on food that would help lower my LDL even though my doc said that food will not lower it but only exercise and Lipitor.

What I'm trying to say is that I googled on food and found that oatmeal is great in lowering cholesterol - specifically LDL. Of course, I'm cheating and Not eating the real oatmeal that is plain. Instead I buy the flavored Maple & Brown Sugar packets. Because I'm cheating, I decided to up the nutritional value by throwing in chopped walnuts and slivered almonds. Yum!!! I'm already wondering what my oatmeal will taste if I chopped up the apple into small pieces and throw it in?? The one very good side effect of this daily oatmeal eating (11pm snacking) is that I'm now very very regular in using #2 in the bathroom. I no longer have constipation where I know it wants to come out but it cannot. It's a very smooth process and Quick process. =)

I have bought several times probiotics but never took it. Hmmm.... I wonder if the last one I bought has not expired....
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Yes, I was very pleased with the results of the estate sale Eben minus the commission. Sis was expecting much more. She called me at work tonight. Said the restore had 2 appointments tomorrow to show the house. He wants to meet with us tomorrow at 5:30pm. I told her I work 2-10. She said can't you take a couple hours off? I said no, there is no one to cover my shift. She said, you ate just down the street, I don't understand why you can't be there. 1) I am not down the street, I am in Tracy. 2) I work in retail, 1 person per shift and after 5pm I am by myself. Stress Margeaux, YES. Sis has worked retail but I guess she thinks everyone is a data entry clerk in an office like her.
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Veronica,

Thanks for the suggestion. I'm not sure what they've given mother.
But apparently the stool softeners or something must be assisting, because my sister said that she started being productive, if you know what I mean. Poor thing,
because she hadn't had a movement for a couple days, she became irritated.

Much Love & LIght! Margeaux
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Wanting-
I do exactly the same thing telling mom she has recently visited with siblings. One say her five times last year, a couple of hours each time. And she lives five miles from here. She just cannot handle it emotionally. The other sib is better, sees mom somewhat regularly on Sundays.

I spend a lot of time just biting my tongue. It would be so easy to spout off about them to mom when she is asking for the. But, what good would it serve? It would upset mom, and I would feel guilty about upsetting mom later.
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Margeaux,
Have you tried Metamucil. I find it easiet to take in the orange flavor mixed with warm orange juice.
Blessings
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Glad,

Thank you for your input. Yes, I lately been taking a pro-biotic, and I believe it's helping me. I'm going to look up some things as you've suggested. As I said before, my sister seems to be super careful nowadays, w/diet for her. But that day we did visit, sis had made some cornbread. Now corn is extremely hard for me to digest. I had only a little piece. She sent us home w/some. WOW, just w/a small piece, it was like glue for me. Now, and I'm not sure whether possibly mother was given some of this, since this was only a week ago. Anyway, I'm not going to stress about wondering either, nor tell my sister anything. This is where I need to be mindful as to what I say in the regards. Truth be told.....I'm really suspecting it's in large the result of dehydration.

I'm very happy to hear that things are improving for your mom, Glad.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Well, mom was admitted last night to the hospital. She's having inflammation as a result of constipation. My sister tells me she just didn't know how to deal with her anymore at home, and seems to be more comfortable today in the hospital. She took a day off work, and I thought I'd go down there. But instead looks like she'll be spending the night there. So I'm going to cover tomorrow at the hospital, so my sister can return to work. Anyway, if I can request a spiritual holler for her, I'd really appreciate it. But good news is.....she did eat today, so still has her appetite.

Much Love & Light! Thank you, to everyone, asking about her, too1
Margeaux
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Sharynmarie,

I am very happy to hear that the sale went well.
How exciting the baby guessing gender shower. That's a mouth ful. That sounds like fun. BTW, my sister's daughter is also pregnant, which surprised us.
Her second little one is only turning one in May. The pregnancy has due date i September.
I completely understand. You've had a lot of things go let's say awry, especially with the job situation. I'd be so annoyed and given the situation about being close to mom, nothing else needs be said. O.K., get out there and as my cousin would say, "Sometimes, we have to be brave little soldiers." She's a cool cousin of mine, who over the years knew what to say in these kinds of times, and put a bit of humor into it.

O.K., hope things are going good w/mother these days.
Get a good funny movie, and laugh! I think this is in order for your too!

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Austin~It will be fine, I am adjusting to it, not getting home til 10:30-10:45 now. I am not happy about but have accepted it.
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Shary maybe your job will be easier at the new place and maybe the people you work with will be nicer-hoping it goes well for you.
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Margeaux-it has been more depression grieving. Getting transferred just set it off more. I am getting mind around all of it now and am back to focusing on my daughter's up coming genders reveal baby shower.She had appointment yesterday and the ultra sound tech guessed what she thinks their genders are we will know definitely in late April.

I hope your poor mom is not hurting too much and the stool softeners get things moving soon. It must be very uncomfortable for her. Keep us updated.

My niece will have surgery on April 14th with follow up chemo. We are hoping and praying the tumor has shrunk enough they can remove it.

Gotta get moving to see mom before work at 2pm, order invitations for the shower, put mom's trash cans in the backyard. You are right...when this is done I won't be running back and forth. The estate sale went well.

Love and hugs
Sharyn
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ugh. disfunctional doesn't even cover it.

it is so sad to hear my mother ask for her kids and know that they aren't coming to visit, they aren't going to call, they just don't care. I try to cover for them for her sake, she's sinking into dementia...called me at work today and asked me where the kids were. How can she know to call me and know HOW to call me and NOT know that all her kids are grown up and moved away?
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Margeaux, The UTI's and constipation? Probiotics have been very good for my mom. We started them about three weeks ago, but for her chronic diarrhea instead. Used to hear mom's explosions in the bathroom four times a day at least, not any more. Whether she is having normal GM's or not, I don't know, but she is not constipated and things are moving, but must be at day care. What effect yogurt would have on constipation, I have no clue. Have never had that issue here. What I would suggest is to google foods that are laxatives. No bananas though, that I do know.

Hope your mom is feeling much better soon.
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Hi Book,

I didn't mean to ignore your hello.
How are you doing? I'll have to look up this Puddles the Clown.

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharynmarie,

I meant to say "childhood home."
Also, what I posted.....just trying to help you maybe see another perspective to some of this, and help you get through it.

Huge Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharymarie,

I feel for you and your losses.
You sound very, very stressed out right now. Do try to relax and take some deep, deep breadths. I think when people start falling like you have, your body may be trying to tell you something. I don't want to sound insensitive about all you're going through at the moment.....but the truth is you and your family have decided to liquidate, and there's going to be some relief, no matter the hardship of letting go of your child home. Think about it, you will no longer be beholden to the upkeep of still owning your parent's home. Besides, imagine your family decided to instead rent it. My question would be to you, "who would be assisting you in this venture?" Your sister doesn't seem available for that. Neither do your brothers. Anyway, I hope I didn't get ahead of myself saying some of this. Just something for you to possibly ponder, the other side of the logistics.

I hope that on the offer end, you get a reasonable offer.

You've been in my thoughts!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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My sister ended up at the urgent care with mom again, today. Mother is still suffering from some constipation. So my sister says they're going to run a Cat Scan on her.
They did send her home w/some stool softeners, but they yet haven't worked.
I'm wondering if I should suggest to my sister for her to give mom some pro-biotic,
say in the form of plain yogurt, or something. This is getting worrisome for me.
Also, I feel for my sister because the way she described the night before the first time they went to urgent care, mother kept getting up to try to use the bathroom all night long. She said it started showing as a UTI problem, then the constipation appeared.

O.K., just checking in with my pals here.
Much Love & LIght! Margeaux
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Alison,

I'm glad to hear that you went to the doctor to have your condition checked.
Try to rest, so that you can clear up the bronchitis.

You're in my thoughts!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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I spoke with my sister yesterday. She'd spent 3 hours at urgent care with mom.
Apparently, my sister says that she thought mom was suffering from a UTI.
She also, was very, very constipated. Does this sound familiar, anyone?
So they sent her home with stool softeners. My sister has toned down considerably, mother's diet. But she was telling me mom is refusing to drink water, so we're sure this aggravated things for her. Anyway, poor thing....she's suffering a bit right now.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Glad~their offer is a little too low, $9,500 below our asking price. They will be living in the house, cannot rent it out to someone else. We shall see if we get more offers after the open house today. We are having a big rain storm through tomorrow, it may put a damper on how many people are willing to go out today.
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Danuta you are a shining example of how things should be done. Not everyone can see the big picture as clearly as you have. Your own issues made it impossible for you not to deal with your priorites.
This should be a lesson to all caregivers out there that in order to care for others the caregiver must first make their own self and needs the primary priority.
This is not a critism of caregivers in general. Many back into their roles without the benefit of foresight Not their fault but once in the roll just do not feel able to get out and loyalties bind them to the family and the needs of their loved one. Nothing is fair in this world and each does the best they can.
Best wishes for you continued treatment and your positive attitude.
Like everyone else I am sure your days are not all wine and roses or cofee and chocolate if you are ladee M You have taken actions that have ensured a secure and happy end of life for MIL. Not what she had hoped for I am sure but none of us get all our wishes fulfilled in this world. Blessings for a job well done
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to rent it out?
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Sharyn, is the family going to live in your mother's house? Or are they going to they it out. Do I misunderstand, is it the offered price that doesn't work?
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Sharing this experience may put some of you at ease if you are in the same situation. My MIL is 94 yrs. old and was living in a small apartment upstairs from her son in law, daughter passed away last year. My BIL is 78 and had his own medical issues, so he helped as much as he could. My MIL stubborn to no end and was still driving occasionally, to get her meds. She would not accept any help from the agencies. The house she lived in was sold and she had to be out in a few weeks. She had no place to go and needed care, her health had deteriorated and her apartment needed to be cleaned and her sheets changed. None of which she could do, but still accepted no help from the agencies. I am the DIL and live two states away and knew the only place for her was a nursing facility. All her children are in their seventies and none of which are capable of caring for her. So I proceeded with all the paperwork, I did this on my job for 34 years, so I knew the system. The only way she could go in was through a hospital stay. So one day she decided to go to church for Ash Wednesday and passed out in the parking lot and the paramedics were called. The rest is history and she is safe and sound in a beautiful nursing facility five minutes from where she lived. She has bounced back physically and mentally due to the care, with the three meals a day, meds on time and some rehab and she is happier now than before. She needed care I would say for the past four years and was to stubborn to accept it but is doing much better now. So my point is that we do not feel guilty in putting her there as we see her response to the care and the family knew none of us would be able to care for her. I have gone through two years of treatment for bilateral breast cancer and have become a survivor and need my life to do whatever time I have left. I hope this information helps even one person to not be ridden with the guilt of putting a family member in care.
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