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195Austin ugh snow here in MA on Tuesday night.. But it's 60* right now and very windy..
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Book what's the book/author?
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Sharyn if you are over 40 you can fight it on the basis of age discrimination.
There must be a personel office for your employer? can you talk to them? Did you have a contract when you were originally hired? Do the math and find out just how much the extra comute will cost you compared with taking a lower paying job locally.
Don't forget to add in not just the extra gas but more frequent servicing of your car. Do you pay someone to be with your mother while you are at work? That will be another hour every day at $? a day.
You may have to take the move but try and get a raise and if available a promotion.
Time for "good old Sharyn" to stand up for herself. Hugs
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spring here in NY is delayed-more snow on Tue 3-6 inches.
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I have no choice, they have already transferred me before I was even told about it. I will fight, but no longer will I be the good worker, reliable worker they praise me to be. I see too many other co-workers who go on extended leaves 2-3 times a year, co-workers who spend all day talking, don't get their work done and guess who has to do their work come evening time....me the closer. I am done being "good ole Sharyn, she will do it"!!
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This will be my last post for the night.
Hi Margeaux.

When I was changing dad's pampers, I was watching HLN. In it, a tall sad white clown sang his version of the song "Royals." When done with the pampers, I came online and googled Puddles the clown. Because I don't really listen to music much, I had to first google the original singer of "Royals" which is Lorde. I watched their YouTube song and just love those female voices as the sang the chorus lines. Then I watched several times Puddles version of the song - using his persona as a sad clown to sing it in a sad way. I like his version best!

FYI, a very very short YouTube clip on his other rendition of the song: "That'll be the Day." I hope you all watch this one too. I laughed when I saw it.

I finished my ebook. Just love that author!! I laugh on her books. She has a wicked sense of humor. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with my taste. An email acquaintance told me that she was disappointed on this latest book. I can't wait for her book 2.
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I agee with norest. If you agree to two weeks, it may even hurt your chances with the union or under FMLA. You go girl!
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Sharyn I don't think telling them you would go for 2 weeks is good... Once you are out may be hard to get back... Keep very good records of conversations... dates/ times.
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Sharynmarie,you are in my prayers, this caregiving is hard enough without outside major issues as well.
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Thank you for everyone for the support on this issue. I am so angry about as I thought this was resolved 2 years ago when I knew my mother would not be driving much longer. Glad, I am going to take you up on yours suggestion of calling FMLA. My co-worker told me he had to go through FMLA because they kept trying to transfer him when he told them he is the primary caregiver for his severely disabled daughter. Apparently his wife doesn't help much with her, he does everything for his daughter...she was born with severe mental and physical disabilities and was not expected to live...she is now in her early 20's.

I gave the dr.'s statement to my store manager, he of course was just talking me up with, we don't want to lose you, but this Tracy store needs a closer who is experienced, does not need to be baby sat, someone who stays busy and works. It may only be for a few weeks since they have someone out on leave. Blah, blah, blah............I am not a 20 something that can't see between those words of manipulation. I told my manager that I am willing to go to Tracy for 2 weeks while they get another person to work there permanently, but I must work locally, either at this store or the other store in town. This is not personal...it is politics and for the first time in my life, I am going to fight back for what I want. I will call FMLA and the union Monday as well as the district manager whom I cleared all this with 2 years ago.

Tonight was very emotionally charged because I worked with "M", she is the one with the vision issue called Fuch's Dystrophy (sp?), we get along really well because we are similar...being introverts, family oriented (her mother has lived with her for 20 yrs). Her parents came her from Portugal, had 2 children, got divorced. He father went back to Portugal, her mother stayed here working as a private caregiver getting paid under the table so she has little SS. She lives with "M" and her husband, has diabetes and CHF. I went off with too much info but I am hyper tonight, LOL!! Anyway "M" and I sobbed together as we both understand taking care of a parent and having the employer wanting to transfer you every couple years. Tomorrow will be worse since it is our last night together until this is resolved (hopefully in my favor).

Margeaux~ I am happy you had the chance to rest too. You have had a lot going on over the last 6 months, recharging is good.
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Sharynmarie,

I went out of town with my husband both for work, which was hectic.
But I did have a few days of rest, too. Thanks you for asking.

Oh! I sure hope you can resolve this issue with your union.
I have you in my chants, my friend!

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Sharyn, I'm wishing you good wishes to help you. {{Hugs}}
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Thank you Glad~I picked up a statement, it just says the above mentioned patient has advanced dementia. The patient needs constant supervision. I hope they accept it, they don't need to know every detail anyway.
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Thinking of you Sharyn. Hope it will work out for you.
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Glad~If I quit, I would have to accept a job for minimum wage, that was one reason why I choice this job because of it paying more than minimum, getting benefits through the union. I work for a major grocery chain here in NorCal, so hopefully this will work out. A co-worker fought her transfer a year ago due to a vision problem and she cannot drive long distance at night. She was able to stay, I hope I can too or at least go to the other store here in town.
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Definitely talk to the union! For a transfer like that, if nothing else, you could collect unemployment for six months. But, then you need to find a new employer that would be very difficult to do, especially with your situation. Remember the family medical leave act.
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Veronica~There is no specific reason they are transferring me...it is something this company does periodically. It could be someone from another store wants to be local and they have connections. This manager is not aware that I was transferred because of my mother's health (which has never interfered with work). My deli manager does not want to lose me because I am one of her most dependable people but she has no control over who they transfer. She said she would talk with the store manager today and I told her I would talk with my mom's dr. I am waiting for a call back on getting a statement from the dr before I call the union.

Thank you for the good vibes and support!
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Sharyn, did they give you any reason? Definitely take it up with your Union. hopefully they will be able to fight this. Good vibes
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Sharyn.... thats a bummer. Can you talk to the store manager?
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Well, to add on more to my plate, I found out today that the store manager is transferring me to Tracy...a 25 minute drive one way. I told my deli manager that I cannot do that, I was transferred here specifically because of my mother's health and I need to stay local. I also told her I would try to fight it by getting a statement from my mother's dr and calling the union. Getting only 24 hours a week is not going to work with gas expenses for a 50 commute. I am devastated by this...too much to take in, please pray, send positive vibes out, Thank you!!
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Margeaux, I'm doing well. It was a very challenging weekend. Mom's days of being a cooperative patient are long gone! It was pretty much what I expected, though. But, back to normal, as normal as normal can be around here. Am still keeping a close eye on mom, same problem may be starting again. They did not start any new medications so I do not have a clue what the issue could be. I sure don't want to go through that again this soon! It is astounding what changes have occurred in mom since the last hospital visit, just six months ago.
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Margeaux-good to hear from you. I hope your trip was for pleasure or at least you got to relax and enjoy some time away. I told sis that if our brother wanted this item bad enough he would come get it himself. I am already storing a few things here for my brother...over a month now along with 5 big boxes of clothing for my mom. I have to store it in the garage ...no room in the house. Sis has her share of stuff she is storing too. I am not the energizer rabbit. I talked to hubby telling him I need to get away from here for a day in the mountains. Thank you for your words and support..I do appreciate it.
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Gladimhere,

How are you doing? I'm really sorry to hear about what you've had to endure lately concerning your mother! I'm sure you've heard also, that the more meds given to an elderly, it is possible they could have these kinds of issues with bowels. I'm very happy to hear that she has returned home, now. It does dis-orient them more than we often realize. I think my mom gets dis-oriented when my sister takes her on those long drives to my brothers homes. She seems to think....that it's necessary to do this, since mom is very homebound these days.
Your in my thoughts, Glad!

Hugs,
Much Love & Light1 Margeaux
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Sharynmarie,

Thanks for asking about me. I don't think you went about it the wrong way in pointing it out to your sister the distaste in the fact she volunteered you to do something for someone else. It's very annoying when others don't seem to value your time. Anyway, since I'm well acquainted in your sister's method of operation......I'm sure it must have taken some courage on your part to tell her this. Be proud, for standing up for yourself, and try not to buckle into her guilt trips. Even the post about the pie, this spells guilt to me, especially when she made the comment she was bringing it for you,
and given the fact she can't eat something/should not eat something like this.
This isn't your fault. You have a new attitude, and that's good!

Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Loretta,

I am so glad that you joined our thread. Much of the already given advice is great!
I had a friend, who wasn't really elderly but blind. She went blind as a result of an industrial accident and some chemical exposure. It affected her organs, one being the liver and needed an oxygen tank. She too was a smoker. Many of us who were around her would be very concerned when she'd drag her tank around and light up a cigarette. It was rather odd too, because this woman thought of herself as some kind of heath guru at the time since she used aromatherapy in her health protocol. But never did she give it much thought about smoking in near proximity to those oxygen tanks.

I do hope for your sake that you find a way to find a nursing home for her. Someone, even a relative who you are obviously concerned about, no matter the history endured......deserves to be in your home. I think that for many of us who realize the truth about the matter that we do have to come to the point of others taking over the care of someone such as your mother, and that's o.k., too. In this regard, I wish you the very best, and will keep you in my thoughts.

Much Love & Light! Margeaux
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Hello everyone, I feel this is a perfect site to find. Other people to talk to, and know that we are not the only ones going through this.
I took care of my parents ( while they were still at home ) for 12 years now. In 2006 my father died. A year later my mother fell, I had left her in the care of my sisters daughter, I took a two day vacation with my grandson who was 10. During those two days my sister( who never worked) tried to get mom to give her power if attorney , and wanted mom to sign her house over to her. My mom refused. Long story made short my mother fell while in my sisters care and had to have surgery , she was injured when they tried to get her up, two disk had to be removed and replaced by cadaver bones. She has been in my home now bedridden for over six years. She is paranoid schizophrenic she has a colostomy bag ,a catheter , she can't turn over or move her-legs and I have her in my family room which is the heart of the home she can look out on the deck she has a big screen TV with over 300 DVDs . A caregiver during the day while I go to work. nobody helps, my mom does not want to see my sister or brother. They are a lot alike , my brother had nine children, that was raised on public aid , my sister had three, and she didn't work either.
I have three grown children who have their own family's to care for and they are wonderful parents. My mom would have died if I left her in the nursing home, she was there for therapy after the surgery for rehabilitation but she couldn't keep up so Medicare shut her off. I feel so alone at times, I don't remember what it's like to just go somewhere and not have any worries . I don't regret one minute the decision I made to take care of my parents , I love them very much, my father is gone but he is still in my heart. Even though my mother is bedridden, since Sept. 2007, she has not had pneumonia are any bedsores in my care. I changed her psychiatrist and we worked together on getting my mom down to 20% of the psychiatric medications that she was taking. She is alert, has a great memory, and happy. She will be 84 in July. I am almost 61 , and divorced 20 years now. If anyone has questions on caring for patients that are in mobile and/or bedridden. Feel free to contact me. God bless all of you out there that feel alone, there are times when it helps just to talk about it. :). Julia
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Found this our when I last visited my PCG. the nurse had to go on line and found that I had a prescription last Oct for some narcotics odered for post op pain. The surgery was cancelled so I told the nurse I had filled the prescription ahead of time but the sugery was cancelled so I never used them. My husband had an absolute fit when I told him. He said I should never have told the nurse I did not take them because now "THEY" know I have them and can come knocking on our door and demand to see them. Isn't paranoia wonderful? At least it makes a change from the rants about the Crimea. Just a minute we have gone on to robocalls!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sharyn.... as hard as it is.... grieving is good..........hugs to you!
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The Florida Prescription Drug Monitoring Program, known as E-FORCSE® (Electronic-Florida Online Reporting of Controlled Substance Evaluation Program), ...
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Go to NASCA.org and enter your state, they will tell you who is in charge with contact information.
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