
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
There must be a personel office for your employer? can you talk to them? Did you have a contract when you were originally hired? Do the math and find out just how much the extra comute will cost you compared with taking a lower paying job locally.
Don't forget to add in not just the extra gas but more frequent servicing of your car. Do you pay someone to be with your mother while you are at work? That will be another hour every day at $? a day.
You may have to take the move but try and get a raise and if available a promotion.
Time for "good old Sharyn" to stand up for herself. Hugs
Hi Margeaux.
When I was changing dad's pampers, I was watching HLN. In it, a tall sad white clown sang his version of the song "Royals." When done with the pampers, I came online and googled Puddles the clown. Because I don't really listen to music much, I had to first google the original singer of "Royals" which is Lorde. I watched their YouTube song and just love those female voices as the sang the chorus lines. Then I watched several times Puddles version of the song - using his persona as a sad clown to sing it in a sad way. I like his version best!
FYI, a very very short YouTube clip on his other rendition of the song: "That'll be the Day." I hope you all watch this one too. I laughed when I saw it.
I finished my ebook. Just love that author!! I laugh on her books. She has a wicked sense of humor. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with my taste. An email acquaintance told me that she was disappointed on this latest book. I can't wait for her book 2.
I gave the dr.'s statement to my store manager, he of course was just talking me up with, we don't want to lose you, but this Tracy store needs a closer who is experienced, does not need to be baby sat, someone who stays busy and works. It may only be for a few weeks since they have someone out on leave. Blah, blah, blah............I am not a 20 something that can't see between those words of manipulation. I told my manager that I am willing to go to Tracy for 2 weeks while they get another person to work there permanently, but I must work locally, either at this store or the other store in town. This is not personal...it is politics and for the first time in my life, I am going to fight back for what I want. I will call FMLA and the union Monday as well as the district manager whom I cleared all this with 2 years ago.
Tonight was very emotionally charged because I worked with "M", she is the one with the vision issue called Fuch's Dystrophy (sp?), we get along really well because we are similar...being introverts, family oriented (her mother has lived with her for 20 yrs). Her parents came her from Portugal, had 2 children, got divorced. He father went back to Portugal, her mother stayed here working as a private caregiver getting paid under the table so she has little SS. She lives with "M" and her husband, has diabetes and CHF. I went off with too much info but I am hyper tonight, LOL!! Anyway "M" and I sobbed together as we both understand taking care of a parent and having the employer wanting to transfer you every couple years. Tomorrow will be worse since it is our last night together until this is resolved (hopefully in my favor).
Margeaux~ I am happy you had the chance to rest too. You have had a lot going on over the last 6 months, recharging is good.
I went out of town with my husband both for work, which was hectic.
But I did have a few days of rest, too. Thanks you for asking.
Oh! I sure hope you can resolve this issue with your union.
I have you in my chants, my friend!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Thank you for the good vibes and support!
How are you doing? I'm really sorry to hear about what you've had to endure lately concerning your mother! I'm sure you've heard also, that the more meds given to an elderly, it is possible they could have these kinds of issues with bowels. I'm very happy to hear that she has returned home, now. It does dis-orient them more than we often realize. I think my mom gets dis-oriented when my sister takes her on those long drives to my brothers homes. She seems to think....that it's necessary to do this, since mom is very homebound these days.
Your in my thoughts, Glad!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light1 Margeaux
Thanks for asking about me. I don't think you went about it the wrong way in pointing it out to your sister the distaste in the fact she volunteered you to do something for someone else. It's very annoying when others don't seem to value your time. Anyway, since I'm well acquainted in your sister's method of operation......I'm sure it must have taken some courage on your part to tell her this. Be proud, for standing up for yourself, and try not to buckle into her guilt trips. Even the post about the pie, this spells guilt to me, especially when she made the comment she was bringing it for you,
and given the fact she can't eat something/should not eat something like this.
This isn't your fault. You have a new attitude, and that's good!
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I am so glad that you joined our thread. Much of the already given advice is great!
I had a friend, who wasn't really elderly but blind. She went blind as a result of an industrial accident and some chemical exposure. It affected her organs, one being the liver and needed an oxygen tank. She too was a smoker. Many of us who were around her would be very concerned when she'd drag her tank around and light up a cigarette. It was rather odd too, because this woman thought of herself as some kind of heath guru at the time since she used aromatherapy in her health protocol. But never did she give it much thought about smoking in near proximity to those oxygen tanks.
I do hope for your sake that you find a way to find a nursing home for her. Someone, even a relative who you are obviously concerned about, no matter the history endured......deserves to be in your home. I think that for many of us who realize the truth about the matter that we do have to come to the point of others taking over the care of someone such as your mother, and that's o.k., too. In this regard, I wish you the very best, and will keep you in my thoughts.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I took care of my parents ( while they were still at home ) for 12 years now. In 2006 my father died. A year later my mother fell, I had left her in the care of my sisters daughter, I took a two day vacation with my grandson who was 10. During those two days my sister( who never worked) tried to get mom to give her power if attorney , and wanted mom to sign her house over to her. My mom refused. Long story made short my mother fell while in my sisters care and had to have surgery , she was injured when they tried to get her up, two disk had to be removed and replaced by cadaver bones. She has been in my home now bedridden for over six years. She is paranoid schizophrenic she has a colostomy bag ,a catheter , she can't turn over or move her-legs and I have her in my family room which is the heart of the home she can look out on the deck she has a big screen TV with over 300 DVDs . A caregiver during the day while I go to work. nobody helps, my mom does not want to see my sister or brother. They are a lot alike , my brother had nine children, that was raised on public aid , my sister had three, and she didn't work either.
I have three grown children who have their own family's to care for and they are wonderful parents. My mom would have died if I left her in the nursing home, she was there for therapy after the surgery for rehabilitation but she couldn't keep up so Medicare shut her off. I feel so alone at times, I don't remember what it's like to just go somewhere and not have any worries . I don't regret one minute the decision I made to take care of my parents , I love them very much, my father is gone but he is still in my heart. Even though my mother is bedridden, since Sept. 2007, she has not had pneumonia are any bedsores in my care. I changed her psychiatrist and we worked together on getting my mom down to 20% of the psychiatric medications that she was taking. She is alert, has a great memory, and happy. She will be 84 in July. I am almost 61 , and divorced 20 years now. If anyone has questions on caring for patients that are in mobile and/or bedridden. Feel free to contact me. God bless all of you out there that feel alone, there are times when it helps just to talk about it. :). Julia