
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
I am very tired of running around doing all the errands on my days off while my sister relaxes and rests on her days off. Not going to do it anymore!
They released her from the hospital today, we just got home about a half an hour ago. She is doing much, much better, but obviously very tired and drained. Hopefully she will go to bed early tonight and easier in her own environment. The stay was very disorienting for her! No help from sibs, naturally, and found help from a couple of home care agencies so I was able to leave the hospital early last night. And help from them to get mom's hubby to a doctor appointment today, that thankfully was right next door to the hospital. All ok with him as well, though I have seen a definite cognitive decline in the last couple of months. I suspect a series of TIA's, and the CT will be sometime this week.
Again, thank you for your support, kind words and encouragement.
Yes, I've been on hiatus.....Feb.-now got very hectic and busy for me.
I was out of the country, and had hard time logging in. We had a rough Mercury Retrograde this time around, which affected communication on different levels for people. Thank you Emjo, and Alison for asking about me.
I'm slowly catching up reading, and still not quite awake, but w/respond and really have missed all of you.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
Norest mentioned the full moon. I do believe that often has an effect
Glad, I hope your mom's new behavior is not going to be her New Norm. Hopefully we can hope that it's only because she's in a New environment, and seeing new people constantly, and the noises surrounding her. {{Hugs!!}}
Full moon tonight?
I talked with sis, she said she had the same reaction...I was happy to hear she felt the same way and it just wasn't me.
You know what a toll this has taken on you so imagine what poor Mom had to endure with all the pain and the proceedures she did not understand.
Gla- my mom was in the hospital overnight once because she pulled all the packing and gauze out of her nose after a sinus procedure. Causing it to hemmorrage. To keep her pulling the packing out again, they put what looked like white boxing gloves on her hands. It worked. Glad to hear your mom doing better as far as the obstruction goes.
Interesting that you ask about restraints, probably has something to do with the right to refuse medical care. In fact hospital staff did not raise all four rails, two on each side of bed, while making the statement that raising all four is considered restraint. What are we supposed to do without restraining people with dementia? My mother may end up needing a psychiatric hospital rather than a nursing home after what I saw tonight. Memory care is completely out of the question because of the level of drugs that would need to be administered to keep her calm. Then she just becomes a vegetable in a wheel chair or bed.
Glad, thanks for the update. I guess the hospital here is different from there. When mom tried to pull her stomach tube and IV out, the nurses gently restrained her hands with strips of blanket. Mom can still move her hands but she couldn't reach the tube and the IV. I guess that would be wrong?
it was a rough one for her last night as well. They had to pump her stomach to relieve the pressure on the intestine. Sometime during the night she pulled it out. So, she got to go through the reinsertion of the tube. She screamed bloody murder with the first one in the ER. She then pulled out the second one as well. At that point they decided to leave it out. And things seem to be moving down there, will try her on solid food tomorrow. I left the room for 15-20 minutes early this afternoon for some air, told nurses I was going out for a bit. During that time mom pulled out her IV and started roaming the halls trying to figure out where she was. Got her back to bed easily enough. Left again to come home for some dinner, to check on her hubby and walk the dog. Again she pulled out the IV and was extremely despondent when I got back with two nurses trying to coax her back to bed. Phew I am freaking exhausted!
Hospital just called to ask me if mom is still DNR, brilliant POA sis was life saving measures administered on one form she filled out today, but on the MOST form, let things happen with comfort measures only. Can anybody believe it?! It is absolutely par for the course around here. I wonder about competency of sis, quite frankly.
Cm~I agree with assandache, stay out of it and let your sister hash it out with your brother.
Norest~I know it is hard to let go, but it sounds like you are taking this in stride by letting sil handle it, good for you!
Glad~I am sorry your mom is in hospital. Hopefully they will not have to do surgery at her age and condition. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way. I have not heard of anyone with dementia not knowing how to go to have a bm...just incontinence..but who knows.
Margeaux~Where are you, we miss you and hope everything is ok. Let us know when you can.
It has been a long week for me as I do not get a day off until Sunday which means I am working 6 days this week with a total of 9 days straights. We have a co-worker out because her 1 year was very sick and taken to Oakland's Children's Hospital. He is home now but is under observation.
Sis and I met with the real estate agent to sign papers to put mom's house on the market March 26th. The estate sale is this week end.
I have been grieving all these losses with family members having cancer, selling my childhood home which is the biggest loss for me. There are a lot of bad memories in this house...but I also have some good memories and just of loss of family of origin is what makes this so hard for me. The memories I treasure the most as a family are the camping trips we took every summer. This was one of the few times that we were a normal family without my mom's control issues preventing us from being "kids".
My mom is doing well...she has acquired toys such as a white long haired cat, the black stuffed poodle we gave her for Christmas, and a stuffed bear. We don't know where the bear or cat came from, but she keeps them in a closet in her apartment during the day. She brings them out at night so they can sleep with her. She told my sister they sleep all the time and do not eat...the perfect pets, LOL!!
We are planning a genders reveal family co-ed baby shower in May. A cake with the appropriate color of M & M's will be in the bottom layer and I plan to have my mom make the cuts in the cake and then have my fil lift out the first slice to reveal the genders. We will pins for people wear for the team they choose...boys, girls, or a boy and a girl. Who ever thought there would be 3 choices with a pregancy, LOL!! Even though my daugther's babe's have their own sacs and it appears they have their own placentas...they can still be identical twins under these conditions. I am learning new info about twins. All we care about is that the our daughter and the babies are healthy throughout.
I am almost done with the first baby blanket, working on the border now and have ordered the yarn for the next. I prefer a stitch that is not open or lacy for babies so their toes and fingers do not get stuck in open spaces.
Stay strong everyone, relax when you can, and do something good for yourself.
Hugs to everyone,
Sharyn