
Many of us, myself included, come from a dysfunctional family which adds a lot of weight to the challenges of caregiving. I have read stores on various threads on other topics and decided it would be good to have a thread just for this topic for people to share, vent and discuss.
The idea for this thread originated on the thread named "The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?"
It sounds to me like she needs a psychiatric evaluation and medication. She also needs t
Now for some specifics. Does she still have a licence to drive? Has her doctor cleared her for driving? Can you alert the DMV and the police that she is not safe to drive. This is not an unusual problem. Some people move the car i.e, take it away, some take the keys, or disable the car in some way so it is not drivable. She is a risk to herself and others. Please do something to stop the driving before she hurts herself or worse - hurts someone else. I see this as a priority as well as doing something about the gas in her house. Can it us turned off at
Now for some specifics. Does she still have a licence to drive? can you alerts the DMV and the police that she is not safe to drive. Has her doctor cleared her for driving? This is not an unusual problem. Some people move the car i.e, take it away, some take the keys, or disable the car in some way so it is not drivable. She is a risk to herself and others. Please do something to stop the driving before she hurts herself or worse - hurts someone else. I see t
My mother-in-law is a danger to herself and to others, how do we get her committed if she is unwilling to go?
Asked by fedupcaregiver | 6 mins ago
My mother-in-law is mean and hard to deal with and she is a fall risk. She screams and argues with us about everything.
She is on dialysis treatment 3 days a week for 4 hour treatments and when she is home she tries to walk and falls.
She has bumped into the knobs on the gas stove 2 separate times now since last July and turned the gas on accidentally. Once we smelled the gas, we immediately turned off the stove and opened all the doors and windows. She has lost her sense of smell and can not smell anything anymore. She refuses to acknowledge that she has bumped it by accident and both times we called the fire department to come out and check the house for safety.
I have moved out of the house for fear for my own safety because she still tried to turn on the gas stove after we turned off everything, wanting to cook something, with her oxygen on, arguing with us that it was not dangerous because she couldn't smell anything and we were exaggerating. I am afraid that she is going to accidentally turn on the gas on the stove again while everyone is asleep and end up killing everyone in the house. My husband has had to stay to take care of her and I am worried about his safety.
She also can only see out of one eye and in her unsteady state, she has sneaked out of the house and gotten into her car three times and drove somewhere risking the safety of others.
She also fights taking her medication. She has a lot of medication to take and she is tired of the dialysis and medication so it is a constant battle to get her to do what she is supposed to do.
She has gone to a nursing home 2 times from the hospital after a fall and both times she would not stay in the nursing home and left without the doctor's consent. So there are now 2 nursing homes that she cannot return to.
I am racking my brain trying to figure out what to do here. Can someone please help us?
Thx Alison, Veronica and cm for the suggestion about a rescue cat. For now we will not get another one as we travel a bit and having a pet is limiting and as they get older they miss you more if you have bonded well. Maybe in time... Most of my pets have been rescues in one sense or another. For now, I can enjoy not having to clean out the litter box and carry boxes of canned cat food home from the grocery store. I will give the remaining cat food etc. to my kids who all have cats.
I feel like my life is getting ready for a change - losing a couple of girl friends and now the cat. Mother in hospital, without long distance phone access and with someone else doing the running around for her. Gary will lose some horses, just a matter of how many. Not that the reasons are valid, but there is no justice, we know that. Lots of changes, and good will come out of it. That I know.
Have a good day everyone and do something good for you. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))
XOXO
Juju
If you Google this, please watch video 1 first. "Pepsi Maxx & Jeff Gordon presents: "test drive" ..... (salesman lets the customer test drive the car)
Video 2: "Pepsi Maxx & Jeff Gordon presents Test Drive 2 .... (now the reporter's turn.)
Oh poor you but we do give them a great life and thats something to help ease the pain. I ask my moggy everyday if hes happy? i know? but they understand he just looks at me and "purrs" when im down he wants to be on my knee when im ok he just ignores me. They are wonderful little creatures i wish i had the "tact" of a cat! So independent and self-centred we could learn alot from them!!
Hugs xx
thx everyone. The house feels strange without him...
Gee, whiz, Glad, now you have me curious on what you wrote that you regretted posting!
ABB, I wish you could speak to someone who deals with elderlies and see what rights you have in helping your father. I believe that fixing the car can be paid by your father because he’s riding it. It’s your only transportation and you need to keep it running. If you can persuade your father to spend the money (and forget about your siblings), have father sign a note saying that he authorizes you to spend this $$$ much for the car repair.
Emjo, so sorry about your pet tabby. It’s good that you got him in time to avoid unnecessary pain. I like ABB’s suggestion, if you ever feel the need for feline companionship.
Hi Sharyn! =)
Sad day - had to put down my old tabby. Guess we caught him at the right time - the vet said he would have been in distress within hours. Miss him, but glad he did not suffer. He is my last et -no sense t
The highlight of every day M-F is my 55 minute gym class just up the street. I take my stress there and leave feeling so much better. Today, I only was able to do about 2 songs and I had to leave… just not feeling well at all. That's never happened before, so leads me to think I'm just a bit sick. Bad news is that tomorrow is all day affair of taking my father to downtown VA med facility for a variety of appointments… NOT looking forward to it, but hopefully will get through it ok.
I need to get heater core flushed in my truck. I don't have any heat in the vehicle to speak of, and since I mostly run errands in the neighborhood, I've managed to get by. But tomorrow is long trip, with my elderly father. It IS warming up here, will likely be mid 30's temp tomorrow, thankfully. I haven't done the repair to vehicle because I just really didn't have the money. It frustrates me to no end that my family is so against me taking any money at all from my father… yet he wastes his money on frivolous stuff… he bought yet another $200 watch from one of those seriously overpriced catalogs just in the past month... and in the couple of years I've been here, since I pay for everything, he has saved about $7k… and he only gets about $450 per month… If I bring up issue of him contributing financially, he balks. Family says I'm not to touch his money, as well. Geesh, I just really resent this entire situation of volunteer slave labor I've put myself in. I hope there are positive changes coming this Spring/Summer.
On Sunday, I'm meeting a gentleman in the city and we're going to see a show - Chelsea Handler: Uganda Be Kidding Me - in a theater. I'm not a big fan of Chelsea Handler but she is always interesting if not downright controversial. I hope I'm "all better" by then. It would be so nice just to get out and have a nice evening. Its not really a "date," just an outing.
Hope everyone is doing well? Maybe your area is warming up a little bit, too? :D Everyone who's ready for Spring, raise your hand! Me, me, me! (((hugs)))
The trouble with avoiding confrontation is that you get backed closer and closer to the wall until eventually you're so squished you can't breathe. And then, instead of being able to conduct reasonable, practical negotiations, you lash out and the whole thing goes to pot. And then, somehow, most unfairly, you end up in the wrong!
Assuming that the person with a mean temper is mainly bark and not so much of the biting, what is there to be afraid of? More barking?
I totally agree that the POA being wielded by the non-caregiver is a recipe for maximum stress - I'm in the same situation, it is the world's biggest pain in the bum. If my mother and her solicitor had tried to come up with a more conflict-laden arrangement they couldn't have made a better job of it. But we're getting there, bit by bit, treading on eggshells; and if there is a plus side it's that it's cured me of giving a monkey's about what my sister says. Let her. I can always come here and b**** about it!