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here we go again - Can it be turned off at the main or close to the stove by a professional so she cannot turn it on?

It sounds to me like she needs a psychiatric evaluation and medication. She also needs t
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sorry - Can it be t
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You DO have a situation, don't you. Has she been evaluated by social services as being suited to stay at home? I believe you can call them and request an evaluation. Another resource is your local Agency on Aging. They may have some ideas.

Now for some specifics. Does she still have a licence to drive? Has her doctor cleared her for driving? Can you alert the DMV and the police that she is not safe to drive. This is not an unusual problem. Some people move the car i.e, take it away, some take the keys, or disable the car in some way so it is not drivable. She is a risk to herself and others. Please do something to stop the driving before she hurts herself or worse - hurts someone else. I see this as a priority as well as doing something about the gas in her house. Can it us turned off at
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You DO have a situation, don't you. Has she been evaluates by social services as being suited to stay at home? I believe you can call them and request an evaluation. Another resource is you local Agency on Aging. They may have some ideas.

Now for some specifics. Does she still have a licence to drive? can you alerts the DMV and the police that she is not safe to drive. Has her doctor cleared her for driving? This is not an unusual problem. Some people move the car i.e, take it away, some take the keys, or disable the car in some way so it is not drivable. She is a risk to herself and others. Please do something to stop the driving before she hurts herself or worse - hurts someone else. I see t
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I posted this under a different topic and then saw this group. My mother-in-law is a danger to herself and a danger to others. How can we get her committed to a nursing home when she is unwilling to go?
My mother-in-law is a danger to herself and to others, how do we get her committed if she is unwilling to go?
Asked by fedupcaregiver | 6 mins ago

My mother-in-law is mean and hard to deal with and she is a fall risk. She screams and argues with us about everything.
She is on dialysis treatment 3 days a week for 4 hour treatments and when she is home she tries to walk and falls.
She has bumped into the knobs on the gas stove 2 separate times now since last July and turned the gas on accidentally. Once we smelled the gas, we immediately turned off the stove and opened all the doors and windows. She has lost her sense of smell and can not smell anything anymore. She refuses to acknowledge that she has bumped it by accident and both times we called the fire department to come out and check the house for safety.
I have moved out of the house for fear for my own safety because she still tried to turn on the gas stove after we turned off everything, wanting to cook something, with her oxygen on, arguing with us that it was not dangerous because she couldn't smell anything and we were exaggerating. I am afraid that she is going to accidentally turn on the gas on the stove again while everyone is asleep and end up killing everyone in the house. My husband has had to stay to take care of her and I am worried about his safety.
She also can only see out of one eye and in her unsteady state, she has sneaked out of the house and gotten into her car three times and drove somewhere risking the safety of others.
She also fights taking her medication. She has a lot of medication to take and she is tired of the dialysis and medication so it is a constant battle to get her to do what she is supposed to do.
She has gone to a nursing home 2 times from the hospital after a fall and both times she would not stay in the nursing home and left without the doctor's consent. So there are now 2 nursing homes that she cannot return to.
I am racking my brain trying to figure out what to do here. Can someone please help us?
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(((((Sharyn))))) I wonder if it is due to so many illnesses etc. in your family and the sale of the family home. They do affect us and are losses of one kind or another. Loss lowers our self esteem and we get touchier and also causes anger. Working through this stuff isn't easy. I have experienced touchiness from grief. Hope this helps, if not ignore! You have been going through so much recently. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
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Joan- I am takings things too personal which is casing my feelings to get hurt by me! I don't won't to hurt someone. It is in all areas of my life. I need to work through this so I don't make enemies.
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Sharyn - feelings are feelings - they don't have to be logical, just have to be felt. Acting on them is another thing!!! Glad the estate sale is shaping up.
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Book-you made me giggle with Hi Sharyn. I am having some anger issues...it is frustrating to me because logically I know it is petty of me. Take care.
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thx cm, kazzaa and ju - In a way I am glad I didn't take him to the vet sooner as it was just a waiting game anyway. I think if you know your pet you spot the differences. As long as he was eating and behaving as normal - not in distress - I didn't feel the need to intervene. But that morning there was a difference and I knew I had to take him. They are wonderful little creatures. At the end at the vet's he was calm, wrapped in a nice fleecy blanket, and enjoying being cuddled. I feel good about that.

Thx Alison, Veronica and cm for the suggestion about a rescue cat. For now we will not get another one as we travel a bit and having a pet is limiting and as they get older they miss you more if you have bonded well. Maybe in time... Most of my pets have been rescues in one sense or another. For now, I can enjoy not having to clean out the litter box and carry boxes of canned cat food home from the grocery store. I will give the remaining cat food etc. to my kids who all have cats.

I feel like my life is getting ready for a change - losing a couple of girl friends and now the cat. Mother in hospital, without long distance phone access and with someone else doing the running around for her. Gary will lose some horses, just a matter of how many. Not that the reasons are valid, but there is no justice, we know that. Lots of changes, and good will come out of it. That I know.

Have a good day everyone and do something good for you. (((((((((((hugs)))))))))
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Book yes Jeff Gorden is a race car driver. He was taking the salesman for a ride rather than the other way around!
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Joan, sorry bout the kitty...that is so hard, but glad he did not suffer. I had to do that in sept with my 17yo cat, broke my heart. Take care of yourself and if you were meant to have another pet, it will happen, it will play out as it should.
XOXO
Juju
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I'm going to hitting the sack soon. I was watching 2 YouTube videos by Jeff Gordon. I think he must a race driver because the way he drives those cars is a race driver's moves. I saw a snippet of video 2 on HLN when the reporter said that the video 1 was a fake. So, it was a challenge that Jeff could not deny. And he took the unsuspecting reporter on a "fake" drive.

If you Google this, please watch video 1 first. "Pepsi Maxx & Jeff Gordon presents: "test drive" ..... (salesman lets the customer test drive the car)

Video 2: "Pepsi Maxx & Jeff Gordon presents Test Drive 2 .... (now the reporter's turn.)
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Oh Emjo so sorry about your cat. I just cant imagine life without "My little furry friend". "cats make paw prints on your heart" and thats so true!!
Oh poor you but we do give them a great life and thats something to help ease the pain. I ask my moggy everyday if hes happy? i know? but they understand he just looks at me and "purrs" when im down he wants to be on my knee when im ok he just ignores me. They are wonderful little creatures i wish i had the "tact" of a cat! So independent and self-centred we could learn alot from them!!
Hugs xx
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Emjo, poor puss :-( But well done for spotting that it was time to intervene. Do you have cat rescue organisations nearby? Because older, bereaved cats need loving homes too; just a thought...
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Brandy, how DARE members of your family treat you like this? Time to get angry. xxx
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((((brandy)))) hope the therapy is helping you. It is terrible when some one abusive has such power over you, You must have suffered a lot of trauma from her. I keep repeating to myself, "They can't hurt me anymore." You don't have to care give anyone you don't want to. You can say "No"

thx everyone. The house feels strange without him...
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Brandy – why don’t you go to your Profile Account and make EVERYTHING PRIVATE. It’s okay that you do that. Gladimhere and sharyn has theirs in Private and I still send them HUGS and vice versa. When I closed my other account, I just made it completely Private. Trust me, if you make it private, no one can follow ALL your responses. They would have to do the SEARCH with your name on it. Very time consuming. I know – I tried it on my old name – to see how private it is.

Gee, whiz, Glad, now you have me curious on what you wrote that you regretted posting!

ABB, I wish you could speak to someone who deals with elderlies and see what rights you have in helping your father. I believe that fixing the car can be paid by your father because he’s riding it. It’s your only transportation and you need to keep it running. If you can persuade your father to spend the money (and forget about your siblings), have father sign a note saying that he authorizes you to spend this $$$ much for the car repair.

Emjo, so sorry about your pet tabby. It’s good that you got him in time to avoid unnecessary pain. I like ABB’s suggestion, if you ever feel the need for feline companionship.

Hi Sharyn! =)
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Joan-so sorry about your cat. They are our friends and their loss is deeply felt. Take care of yourself.
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Emjo so sorry about your cat...... you have had a rough time lately..... please take care of yourself......
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What happens if the fur flys? I get terribly upset. I have a panic attack, I shake, blood pressure rises, I cry, I can't function. I shake very badly. I can't get over the attack. Yes, I am in counseling. Afraid of a heart attack or stroke. In other words, it is very stressful for me.
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Oh emjo so sorry about your kitty. As Allison said there are lots of older pets in a shelter who would enjoy their golden years with you. And what is this about your age. Your Mum is almost 102 thats a long time to be without a fur ball to purr you to sleep
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Oh, emjo, I'm sorry that you lost your pet. Never say never? Lots of pets are older in age, already fully mellowed, and in shelters… if you ever reconsider… I hope you don't miss him too much in coming weeks/months.
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oops - last pet. No sense to get another at my age. He was a real sweetheart.
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I think we worry about our posts more than anyone else does.

Sad day - had to put down my old tabby. Guess we caught him at the right time - the vet said he would have been in distress within hours. Miss him, but glad he did not suffer. He is my last et -no sense t
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Glad, I have often wished for that capability, especially when something - a topic on here - touches me in an emotional place and I kind of "go off" a little… We should get a "redo" option, lol.
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I wish there was a way to delete out own posts on this site!
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Sharyn, best of luck getting your priorities accomplished. Hope things go even better than expected.
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I think I might actually be a bit ill.

The highlight of every day M-F is my 55 minute gym class just up the street. I take my stress there and leave feeling so much better. Today, I only was able to do about 2 songs and I had to leave… just not feeling well at all. That's never happened before, so leads me to think I'm just a bit sick. Bad news is that tomorrow is all day affair of taking my father to downtown VA med facility for a variety of appointments… NOT looking forward to it, but hopefully will get through it ok.

I need to get heater core flushed in my truck. I don't have any heat in the vehicle to speak of, and since I mostly run errands in the neighborhood, I've managed to get by. But tomorrow is long trip, with my elderly father. It IS warming up here, will likely be mid 30's temp tomorrow, thankfully. I haven't done the repair to vehicle because I just really didn't have the money. It frustrates me to no end that my family is so against me taking any money at all from my father… yet he wastes his money on frivolous stuff… he bought yet another $200 watch from one of those seriously overpriced catalogs just in the past month... and in the couple of years I've been here, since I pay for everything, he has saved about $7k… and he only gets about $450 per month… If I bring up issue of him contributing financially, he balks. Family says I'm not to touch his money, as well. Geesh, I just really resent this entire situation of volunteer slave labor I've put myself in. I hope there are positive changes coming this Spring/Summer.

On Sunday, I'm meeting a gentleman in the city and we're going to see a show - Chelsea Handler: Uganda Be Kidding Me - in a theater. I'm not a big fan of Chelsea Handler but she is always interesting if not downright controversial. I hope I'm "all better" by then. It would be so nice just to get out and have a nice evening. Its not really a "date," just an outing.

Hope everyone is doing well? Maybe your area is warming up a little bit, too? :D Everyone who's ready for Spring, raise your hand! Me, me, me! (((hugs)))
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Brandywine, the WW3 will start, the fur will fly, and then..?

The trouble with avoiding confrontation is that you get backed closer and closer to the wall until eventually you're so squished you can't breathe. And then, instead of being able to conduct reasonable, practical negotiations, you lash out and the whole thing goes to pot. And then, somehow, most unfairly, you end up in the wrong!

Assuming that the person with a mean temper is mainly bark and not so much of the biting, what is there to be afraid of? More barking?

I totally agree that the POA being wielded by the non-caregiver is a recipe for maximum stress - I'm in the same situation, it is the world's biggest pain in the bum. If my mother and her solicitor had tried to come up with a more conflict-laden arrangement they couldn't have made a better job of it. But we're getting there, bit by bit, treading on eggshells; and if there is a plus side it's that it's cured me of giving a monkey's about what my sister says. Let her. I can always come here and b**** about it!
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