notrydoyoda Posted January 2012
The Caregiver & Dysfunctional Families: How are you doing?
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So when sister returned the next day, I hinted to her about this. But in her usual manner, my sister who called very stressed out last Sun., now was kind of blowing it off, by stressing how mom just got over last week, being sick. I didn't think this at all. I felt that her body probably was recuperating, resting.
Now my sister starts to tell me again as she has in the past about how SHE thinks mom really doesn't have Alz. Mom had been diagnosed by a GP for it. I'm of the opinion that a GP, in many cases just doesn't have the specialized training to make this diagnosis. She did have mother on too many Alz, and other meds. About 7 mos., ago when mother had her gallbladder removed, my sister decided that she'd cut back on half of the Alz meds, took her off her cholesterol, and BP, med also. My mom for a change became more awake and alert. My sister didn't let the doc know about this, and mom's had perfect cholesterol and BP, good readings.
But my sister was telling me, that even though mom doesn't do a lot of communicating, that lately she's become more honory. She was getting mom into her car the other day. Mom waved her hand over the hood of the car, and scratched it w/her nails. So my sister asked her not to do this, and my mom's response was, "I didn't touch your car w/my nails, I touched it w/the palm of my hands." I was surprised at this kind of a response, because I feel that in mom's condition this one would take some sharp thinking on her part. This is what my sister thought, also. However, my sister did start to emphasize mom being snippy, and rude, etc. Would an Alz patient be able to say something like this? Just wondering, since she really no longer initiates conversations, on her own.
On another note, though.....this kind of an attitude by mother reminds me of the old narcissist days She could be very frank, and many times defensive.
My sister is extremely impatient, and I had to think of how this comment by her was said.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I agree with I forget who said here that if your mom is considered to be competent, let her deal with her money. No matter what you're invariably going to hear about it, which I do feel bad about for your sake.
Those temperatures in your area are very cold. We've been having some very cold mornings here, but I know it should be hardly anything to complain about.
But it is doing a number on my sinuses.
I really hope that your friend's funeral service coincides with your trip to Edmonton. Definitely, when we are having these feelings it is great to have moral support, and good that you can rely on G for that.
Have a wonderful time at the dinner theatre. It's really good to hear that you are moving around, even if it's cold weather, and I laughed when you said that area is tropical by comparison.
Hugs, you are in my thoughts!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
You can still move out and get back your disability checks. I have a friend who was getting $700/month of disability check when living in the states. She moved here on island, and had to re-apply for it. And so for a month, she had absolutely no income until they re-approved her - for the full amount! (We've heard stories here that when you move here to our island, the disability check is half the amount.)
If I can figure out a way to leave after giving up all income (I am disabled and lost all disability support by coming here) and all my possessions I will leave, even if it is the wrong thing to do. I am so sick of scummy people which my family is. I have to take responsibility that I made this very bad mistake to give everything up and move here to my father's on the other side of the country though. I so wish I didn't make such huge, stupid mistakes. I wonder if I will ever figure life out and get it right, I am already 52 and in very, very poor health and no ability to have relationships with men. (I have mad skills at relationship with my cat though! LOL God(dess) love her!)
At least I can come here and know I am not alone and I thank you all for that.
I am seeing with a person I work with, that she is showing more signs to me that she is a narcissist. On Dec. 26th, my knee was hurting, sharp pains from my knee up my thigh. I came in early that day as the manager called asking if I would come in earlier than scheduled at 4pm. After a few hours at work, I asked the manager as it was very slow that day, if I get everything done, can I leave at 8pm...she knew I was hurting. She said yes, by all means. L was angry that I did this. She does not like working from 8-9pm by herself. I closed bakery that night, by me leaving early she did not have to do anything regarding bakery except if a customer wanted a cake out of the case. L seems to think that who ever is closing with her, they are suppose to help her. I have no problem helping my co-workers, but L is excessive in having you help her. If you are going a certain direction..."Oh Sharyn, since you are going that way can you take my tallow, or Oh Sharyn, since you are going that way can you do this or that." She has made some snide remarks about me leaving early that night, she very seldom will go out of her way to help others, she complains about how she is burned out, too old, ect., LOL!! She is a few years younger than me. I have gotten where I ignore her requests. Last night was again very slow, my knee again was hurting badly, I took my time making sure that the bakery was thoroughly cleaned more so than normal since it was slow. She could do the same in deli without help from me. Instead, not the first time she has done this...she left at 8:30pm instead of 9pm. I told her go ahead and leave but make sure the deli is closed because I am not going to finish your job plus mine. They want things super cleaned tonight and that is what I am doing. Oh well...there is a narcissist everywhere we turn.
Have you ever watched a program on cable "America Unearthed?" It is about a man who is a forensic geologist. The program is about how here in America we have many ancient artifacts that prove the existence of ancient man being here before Columbus. We all know that Columbus did not discover American but we were all taught in school he was the first to come here. It is an interesting program if you like this sort of subject. Many of the sites he has researched go back to pagan times regarding the summer and winter solstice. I admit that I have a hard time accepting the whole Knights Templar theory regarding Jesus being married to Mary Magdalene and having a child, but I do enjoy the geology aspect of the program.
Hugs to you and Blessings for the New Year!!
I'm really happy to hear that you're feeling lighter about things.
You definitely went through more than most people can handle, but handle it you did!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
It really did scare me lend of last week when I was informed by my sister that mother had been so sick, not holding anything down in her system. She ended up at Urgent Care last Thursday with her. But she's improved as of the New Year.
I knew my sister felt very stressed out with the holidays, then she too had her boyfriend to deal with, who recently had eye surgery since his retina detached, and he's been recovering from that ordeal. Anyway, I went over there so she could have the night off,. She went to the beau's, and she hung out w/him on an overnighter.
Meanwhile, I'm now at mom's with her on the couch in the living room. They must have about 5 tv's, in that household, I can't believe this! So who knows which remote I picked up, and I pressed probably the wrong buttons, because now I didn't have a signal. This was 8:00 p.m., and I was just trying to find something cheery New Years, for mom and me to watch. Now I told mom, we'd have to go into her bedroom, which we did. Well, we go in there and it's pretty much a bed, and an armchair. So as I was searching the channels on a tv in there, mom fell asleep. I found a great show to watch which was about Native dance, of the Pacific Rim. It had nothing to do with New Year's, but was great!!!!!
Talk about energies! So the mother's bedroom, she and her narcissist sister used to share it, while my aunt was alive. She died in that room. So I still get the heebee geebees, whenever I sleep in that room! I don't share this feeling much with my sister either, because she probably thinks I'm nuts for thinking like this. But I can never sleep when I go into that household. So when I came back home, I felt very exhausted. So I showered, made us a nice pasta, and hit the bed.
What a difference a day makes........24 little hours!
Got the Moon and the flowers, la, da, da, la, dada!
Much Love & LIght! Margeaux
Joan~It will be painful for you going south right after your friend's passing. I do hope you can go to a service during your time there. [[[[Hugs]]]]]!!
I rarely ask for days off work, accept my schedule as assigned each week. I have decided that I am going to request more consecutive days off a couple times a month. It won't effect the hours I am given. My goal is to have 2-3 days consecutively so I can get more done at home and more opportunities to go out to take photos. If I had the right lens, I would have gone out to get photos of the super moon.
Have a good weekend everyone, enjoy what quiet time you can get and let the agitators in your lives spin on a heavy cycle by themselves.
How great you meeting this Dr. Oh yes! I have been a follower of Traditional Chinese Medicine for some time. It just doesn't cease to amaze me. I was bammed out the other day, when I thought I'd have time to run through China Town, to buy some of my teas I like to have on hand, but couldn't because I left too late on my ways to mother's house on New Year's Eve. Oh well, I'll have to make a special trip.
The scents are so wonderful. I really need to buy an atomizer, and some other scents know to help certain conditions.
So happy to hear that your New Year's Eve was peaceful.
Hugs,
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
The Supermoon means that the moon occurs at or near (90%) it's closest approach to Earth, as it orbits our planet.
You have probably heard how the Full Moon is a powerful time in terms of how people are affected by the gravitational pull, which does affect people's moods.
Many people believe in using these energies which occur, especially during a New Moon, which is a time when people put out their intentions regarding different aspects of their lives so they can move forward, in other words evolve. Being that this occurred simultaneously, Jan 1st being the first day of a New Year, and the New Moon phase explains why this is a very powerful time. There's more to this too, since it depends which planets are around when all this is happening.
Hope this explains it generally speaking.
Much Love & LIght! Margeaux
I must finally be getting back to my pre-holiday light heartedness. Thank goodness! I was an extremely stressful month!
`
Happy New Years to all and hope the holidays were as sane as could be and found some nice moments to enjoy.
I took a cyber break when we took down Inet to work on office room and kept it going thru the holiday.
Hope you all are well and staying warm. We are making good progress here and should have floors complete with insulation in a few days and get some decent heat going here soon.
XOXOX to all, hang in there!
Peace,
Juju!
I laughed when I read that you burn the candles at both ends.
I guess we all do this from time to time. But just be aware.....that we need to take some measures to circumvent some of this kind of exhaustive energy.
Burning sage actually is a very old tradition in many cultures. Catholics burn incense in the church during ceremonies. But in this case it is Frankincense.
The Native Americans, as well as other tribal people will burn sage as a way of cleansing the bad energies, and cleansing. It is even known to purify, germ wise a room full of germs, like when someone has been sick. I even would rather burn this in my bathroom, instead of using those horrible aerosol sprays loaded with chemicals. At least the former is natural. I burn it when I'm feeling depressed, or I'm having a bout of thinking negatively. It has a calming effect. But you really can do this type of practice with your incense of choice. There are many beautiful scents out there, and if you look them up you'll find e.g., lavender is a great calmer. Lemon, lemon verbena and any citrus smell can lift the spirit.
I'm going to do just that this morning, because I need it.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
G can expect a reaction if the cruise doesn't pan out. I need to get away. Even 10 days in Feb. would be a huge break. Now I have to figure out where to go in January! That's the thing about living up here - there are jobs and well paying jobs, but actually living here is the pits, so you have to get away sometimes. If people could find jobs for the same money in a better climate they would not be here.
Having mixed feelings about the trip to E'ton because of my friend, but I got to do it. Putting off those things doesn't help and I do want to see G and go to the dinner theatre. Bags packed - ready to go.
Hope 2014 is a great year for you.
When's that cruise, again?! Happy 2014, and happy memories of your friend.
Flying south this morning which will at least be en improvement in the weather. Minus 36 F feels like minus 47 with wind chill. I may freeze solid walking to the plane. We have a small airport and usually have to walk outside on the runway to get to the plane. E'ton is plus 1 and in the pluses for most of the rest of the week. It will feel like the Caribbean to me!
have a great day! ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
Busy hectic day at work, but am home now relaxing with the heating pad on my lower back, and YES, I am drinking a beer, Hahaha!
I picked up 2 three ft. artificial trees on clearance for $5.00 each. Going to use them next year to put the ornaments my kids made when they were little. I don't want to throw them out, and I know my son doesn't want the ornaments he made. My daughter said she wants them, so someday I will pass them on to her.
Have a good night!!
Heading south for a few days tomorrow. It will trigger a lot of memories as I often would see my friend when there, but you have to go with what you have in hand. I am hoping the funeral will be when I am down there, to save another trip and also to have G there for support. It will be a mixed bag.
Mother may be reaching a point where she can't use her credit card anymore. It seems she has forgotten the pin number again - that's the third time in 6 months. I may have to deal with it when I am down there. But I don't want to get sucked into anything she really doesn't need just for the attention/drama. This has happened before. She acts helpless, and you intervene and then all of a sudden she is as capable as can be and rips into you for interfering.
Take it easy, everyone. I am having a quiet evening, watching a movie and packing for tomorrow. (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
I never heard of burning the sage until this forum! So I checked it out on the internet. Hmmm, wish I had known that this was all it would take, would have done it long ago! I'm more the type to burn the candle at both ends and become angry and resentful about it!
I am hoping to find new peace and purpose in 2014. Let go of the past, and seize the future with a renewed attitude!
To this end I'd like to wish everyone a very Blessed New Year for 2014.
I wish all of you Love, Abundance, Good Health, Opportunities and whatever else you may desire. So light up that candle, burn your sage!
Most of all, Happy New Year!
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
You're quite welcome. I too use these tools. I use several, one being the EFT technique by Gary Craig. It works with the meridians from traditional chinese medicine, which I just love to read about. Different techniques work for different people.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
But when she got off the booze, she became hooked to pharmaceuticals since she had serious osteoarthritis, and severe depression.
After she died, S contacted me and my husband. I can't believe that after L died, S appears to have either been elected by L's family members back in Chicago,
or maybe S just took it upon herself to go into L's apartment, to get rid of/distribute L's personal belongings.
So we got a call from S during the last few weeks. I am L's stature, so I already suspected that she was going to offer me some of L's clothes, etc. Sure enough......she was offering me some shoes.
I am against wearing other peoples hand me downs, or accepting this kind of thing, especially if the person it belonged to was very toxic and sick. Unfortunately, our deceased neighbor L, totally fit the bill. But I didn't want to enter into any kind of dialogue about this, w/S. She offered me a pair of boots, never been used, but they didn't fit. There were another pair of also brand new
sneakers that fit. Anyway, call me chicken I didn't want to get into a fuss as to why I wouldn't accept this offer by S, so I took them. So I had the shoes in the corner where I've other of my own shoes. I felt some negative energy, during the Christmas season, and I was under the weather. But I mulled over the fact I now had possession of these shoes. Well yesterday, I put them in a bag......I took them out to our back alley, so someone can have them. I do chant for this neighbor's spirit, but I just couldn't keep this energy around my space. Call me crazy, but the energy here, does feel lighter.
May L'ls spirit soar very high!
I'm going to burn some sage.
Much Love & LIght! Margeaux